I put this up yesterday, but it was so annoying with the text and all, so I took it off. I noticed a lot of people wanted to read it though, so here I go, putting it up again. :D

And you who want to read my story 'This is bad bad bad', post this link in your URL.

./group/cheigl/

Set in S6.

It was all she could do, not to ask the question too quickly. She listened on to Dr Parker and Dr Schwindler, as they told her about her latest scans and the successfulness of her latest appointment.

She knew she was getting better. She knew the cancer was giving away. She knew she was winning. And even though she knew everything that was said, she let Dr Schwindler go on. Let the other woman feel good about finally having saved a patient. It was Dr Parkers presents that interested her the most though.
It had started last week. For the first time in a long time, she had felt the tingle. While watching Alex stepping out from the shower, only in a towel, she felt it. She had been turned on. Something she hadn't been since before she was admitted to the hospital. Something she hadn't really realized how much she missed.
After that, she could barley look at her husband without wanting him. It had felt... Nice. To get the part of her self back that liked being close to Alex, preferably naked.

Alex had enjoyed it too, that ass. Him, being even sexier than usual didn't really help.
Swallowing, she studied Dr Parkers face.
She missed Alex. Really missed him. She missed the huge connection they had always shared in bed, missed the way he touched her, the way he looked at her. She had always been better at showing him how she felt.

With other men, she had used words. Words were easier. Words could be taken back.
But with Alex, words just never had seemed to be enough. With Alex, it was the way she looked at him, the tender way she touched him, that told him everything he needed to know. He had known she loved him, far before their sudden but amazing wedding day. She had said it with her eyes, with her body, long before that.
It hadn't been just sex. With Alex, it had never been just sex. With him, she made love. Passionate, hot and breath-taking love making.
Dr Schwindler's voice brought her back to reality. "Over all, everything looks good, Dr Stevens."
"Dr Karev." Izzie corrected her softly, "I changed my name last week."
It hadn't been a hard decision for her to make. She had always known she wanted to take her husband's name when she got married. And she didn't regret doing so. It felt more right than anything she had done.
Dr Parker smiled, opening the chart in her hands. "Alright, Dr Karev. I've looked over your tests, and everything looks fine. You're a real fighter, you know that?"
Izzie just smiled and nodded. She knew she was. She knew that, with her condition, she shouldn't have survived. Sidney had called it a miracle, when she ran into her at the store a couple of weeks ago. Alex had chuckled when she told him about the conversation, but agreed. It was a miracle. And maybe it was.
One thing she was sure of, was that the cancer had been a part of her, and that it had pushed her into the greatest decision of her life. Without the cancer, maybe she had never gotten to marry Alex. Or maybe she had one day, but it wouldn't have been as beautiful and perfect, she was sure. She had the cancer to thank for her marriage, weirdly enough.
"If you don't have anything to add..."
"Actually, I do, Dr Parker." Izzie said, folding her hands nervously in her lap. Dr Parker and Dr Schwindler both turned to look at her, and Izzie blushed slightly. "It's kind of... embarrassing."
Dr Schwindler got a look from Dr Parker, and she cleared her throat.
"I have another appointment, so Im just gonna..."
She left and closed the door after her, leaving Izzie alone with the other doctor. Dr Parker sat down on the chair in front of the hospital bed Izzie sat on, and placed the chart across her own lap, looking at Izzie with warm eyes. "So, Izzie, what did you want to talk about?"
Izzie took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second before she opened them to look at Dr Parker. "So everything looks good?" She started, nervously.
Parker nodded. "You're recovering fine."
Izzie nodded a little, looking down to play with the cover on the bed. "So, you say I could... Go back to what I was doing before I got sick?" She looked up again, meeting Parker's searching glaze.
"Yes, of course."
Swallowing, Izzie blushed even more. "Everything...?"
She had never been shy when it came to sex. She had always been sure about her body and her wants, but now, sitting there, asking her doctor if it was okay for her to have sex with her husband, she felt naked.

A part of her also felt like it was private, what she was doing with Alex. The other part, was nervous. Nervous over the answer she would get, nervous that Alex wouldn't recognize and love her body anymore. Nervous that everything had changed.
Parker must have seen the look in her eyes, because she reached over and took her hand.
"Yes. Your body is ready for it. You must be ready for some things too, tough."
Izzie swallowed, letting out a small laugh. "It just feels weird... I was so set in on dying, and now Im here, alive."
Parker nodded, sitting straight again, crossing her arms over her chest. "It will take time to get used to. Let that husband of yours help you though. You don't have to go through it alone."
Izzie nodded, and Parker stood up. "I have a patient I need to go check on."
"Sure." Izzie stood up, shrugging her jacket back on, brushing some of her blonde hair off her eye.
"Izzie."
She looked up, meeting the other doctor's gaze. "Just don't over do it." Izzie smiled as Parker gave her a teasing wink, before leaving her in the room.

***

"Dude, that was way too much blood."
Alex pushed the door to the locker room open, walking straight over to his locker.
"I just hope his wife will be okay." Meredith said with a sigh, sinking down on a bench, grimacing as she rubbed the back of her neck.
"She just lost her husband." Alex snorted, pushing his blood stained scrub top over his head, dropping it down with the rest of dirty scrubs, before he grabbed a new, fresh one, "She has to be Yang to be okay."
"Uh huh, he has a point." Cristina agreed as she entered the locker room, putting her hair up. Meredith smiled, shaking her head as she let out a tired yawn.
"What's up with you? Shepherd keeping you up at night?" Alex teased, leaning to the locker next to his, his usual half smirk in place.
"Well, if you must know, yes, he did." Meredith responded, giving him a light grin and a wink.
"How about you Alex? Any action with the wife yet?" Cristina asked, wiggling her eyebrows, waiting for his reaction.
As she had expected, his smile faded and his eyes got slightly darker as he glared at her. "Not any of your business." He muttered, turning back to his locker, his shoulders tense.
Meredith gave Cristina a warning look. "Im sure they aren't taking any risks, Cristina."
Cristina shrugged, "Im just saying, it's been months. And it's not like a little sex would make her worse, right? I bet it's more on the other way around..."
"Shut up."
Alex snapped, just as the door opened. He looked up and the anger ran right off when his eyes fell on his wife. She looked so different from what she had when she was trapped in that hospital bed. Her skin wasn't as pale, her eyes had gotten their glow back and her hair had started to grow back. She was always the most beautiful woman to him, but it warmed his heart when she looked this healthy.
"Hi guys!" She smiled brightly as she made her way over to them. "I had an appointment, so I thought I'd see how you were doing."
Alex wrapped his arm close around her as she hugged him, gently kissing his cheek. "Im fine." She whispered in his ear, calming the fear that always hung there. A fear that probably, after having been so close to losing her, would always be there. "Okay?" She mumbled, pulling back to look into his eyes. He nodded slightly, leaning in to brush his mouth against hers.
Izzie turned to smile to Meredith. "Derek told me to tell you that he'll be waiting for you on the parking lot when you get off. He has a surprise for you."
Meredith's excitement for what Derek had planned was big, and they spent the fallowing five minutes talking about what it could be. It was when Alex started giving a bit too dirty suggestions that Izzie hit him, changing the subject while Cristina and Meredith laughed hardly. Meredith's pager soon broke in and Meredith hurried away, Cristina fallowing closely behind, telling her that she had changed her mind and wanted the sparkle pager back.
Izzie laughed softly, turning back to look at her husband. She smiled when he gently brushed her hair behind her ear, running his fingers down her short, soft curls. She was so thankful to not having to wear the headscarf anymore, but still amazed by the fact that Alex really had meant it when he said she was beautiful no matter what.
It had meant the world to her, that he still had looked at her with the same love, even when she was weak, pale and bald. That her looks wasn't the reason he had married her.
His thumb ran softly along her jaw line, giving her a chance to place her hand against his muscular arm. His skin was hot and her fingertips tingled as she dragged them along his triceps.
His arms were parts of him that she admired a lot. She admired their strength, their ability to take her in and make her feel safe. Because he did. No other man had ever made her feel so safe. Most nights, she was curled up in those arms, and she felt protected. Knowing he would never let her go, never let her fall.
But his arms could also take control. His arms could hold her close, have the passionate control. She had never minded letting him have the control of her. Some nights, she had been his completely. She shivered in anticipation, running her hand up to his bicep, while she snuggled closer.
"Alex..." She whispered softly, tracing his warm skin, wanting to feel more. His eyes were searching hers, and she could see his hesitation. "Iz... What are you..."
She silenced him with a kiss, bringing her palms to cup his cheeks as she brought his face closer hers. After some thought, his lips joined her movements, and his eyes fluttered closed as he let her part his lips, her tongue sneaking inside his mouth.
As she ran her tongue against his, he let out a quiet groan, running his hands down her body to rest at the small of her back. They hadn't kissed like this since before she was admitted. Before they got married.
She let him turn her slowly so her back hit against his closed locker, letting him deepened their kiss, his tongue entering her mouth, exploring on a way that made her knees go weak and head spin.
His fingers disappeared in her blonde hair as he cupped her face, continuing his assult on her lips, much to her pleasure. She moved her hips a bit, and her breath caught in her throat as she felt him against her, hard and close. Her hands fell to his back, and she pressed him closer, whimpering softly in his mouth when his erection pressed against her.
She was aching more than ever between her thighs, her whole body shivering. Alex broke free from her mouth, panting as hard as her as he looked into her eyes.
"What are we doing?" He breathed quietly, dropping one of his hands to her shoulder. Izzie gasped for air and shook her head.
"Please just kiss me."
She looked into his eyes, and she saw the lust and desire reflect in them. He wanted her too.
She closed her eyes as his lips were back on hers, and her fingers curled in the material of his scrub top, as she slowly started to rub her self against him. She was barley moving, but Alex still felt it, his breathing going quicker when he tore his mouth from hers, his lips starting to assault the side of her neck.
She whimpered again as he nipped at her earlobe, her hand quickly moving in between their bodies, cupping him. He nuzzled her neck deeper, groaning. She put on more pressure, and Alex gasped into her ear, panting her name weakly.
Just as his hands were dangerously near the waistband of her jeans, the sound of his pager filled their slightly blocked ears, bringing them both back to reality.
"Damnit..." Alex breathed, picking the pager up. Izzie was still pressed up against the locker by his body, her chest rising and falling in a quick pace as she watched his face. "911?" She asked breathlessly, and Alex nodded, dropping his forehead against hers.
"Im sorry. I have to go." He said, and he really did look sorry, for both of them. She smiled as little, nuzzling her nose against his, "It's okay..."
She looked deep into his eyes. "Just hurry home tonight, please."
She whispered, on a way that made Alex wish he could throw his damn pager in the trash can and don't give a shit about his patient, so he could finish what they had started. He had known that she had gotten a lot back lately, with that, her sex drive. But he hadn't expected it now. Not so soon.
He hadn't blamed him self for her lack of sexual wants. He knew she was recovering from a sickness that almost killed her, and he had been fine with it. He knew he could have lived for the rest of his life without sex, if he just could have her alive by his side.
But now, when she was looking at him like that, it was driving him nuts. Because he had wanted her back for a long time. All of her. He had wanted to hold her and touch her and be able to show her how crazy in love with her he was.
"I promise." He murmured, in a husky voice that made Izzie shiver against him. Their lips met again, but this time Alex was quick to pull back, looking into her eyes for the last time before he hurried away.
Izzie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she left the locker room, other plans in mind.

***

Alex started his car that night, all his nerves on the edge. He quickly drove out from the parking lot and started driving towards the apartment he and Izzie had called their home for the past couple of months.
It had been one thing when they were four roommates, but two married couples living together had pretty much been weird. Derek hadn't worked out enough plans for his dream house yet, even though Alex was pretty sure that was the surprise he had for Meredith, and Izzie had finally put her foot down, saying they had to look for an own place.
It had been hard for him, at the beginning. Buying a home with his wife, not knowing if she would die and leave him alone there, had been hard. But when they had almost given up hope to find a place they both liked, (he had said no to apartment number two because he was sure the son of a bitch that would be their neighbour had checked her out, and she had said no to apartment four because she hadn't agreed with Alex about it being a good thing that the apartment basically only contained a huge bedroom), they had found their place.
It wasn't big and impressive, but not small and crappy. It was a great apartment, even though he hadn't minded the bedroom one. How could a guy say no to an apartment that would make it easier to have his wife in bed all the time?
Slowing his car down and stopping by the red lights, he nervously played with his fingers against the steering wheel. By the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice, she had meant for them to pick up where they had left off when he got home, and the thought both excited and panicked him.
He wanted her, of course he did. He wanted nothing more than to make love to her, pleasuring her. He loved hearing her call his name when she fell over the edge, loved the way she always responded to his touch with her entire body. In bed, they were one person. But she had been through so much surgeries. So much pain. The thought of hurting her tucked at his heart. He knew she still had some aching scars. He didn't want to cause her pain, he wanted to be the one to take it away.
Sighing deeply, he turned left and kept driving. What if he wouldn't be enough? She had never been his wife in bed before. They'd never had their perfect wedding night. What if Izzie was expecting to have that now, and what if he would ruin it?
With her, he hadn't always been so sure, so on top of his game. Hell, in the start of their intern ship he hadn't even been able to get it up. With her, it was different. It wasn't just sex. For him, the emotional connection he felt could still overwhelm him sometimes. He had married the love of his life, and now what? Things never stayed perfect in his world. He had never been the lucky kid.
She was getting better. His wife, the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with under their first attempt to a relationship, the love that never had left his heart, had survived stage four melanoma. No one survived that. But she had.
He had never been a lucky kid, but hell, he was a damn lucky man.

***

Five minutes later, he, with slightly trembling hands, unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment. He shrugged of his jacket and hung it up, carefully kicking of his shoes. Being married to Izzie gave you a new respect for keeping things clean and nice.
Slowly, he walked down the hall, looking into the kitchen and the living room. He swallowed as he approached the closed door to their bedroom, noticing the flicker of light dance in the small space between the door and the floor. Gently knocking before he opened the door, he stilled.
The room was dancing with burning candles, and the bed was made with soft looking white sheets, with red rose blades spread over it. He swallowed hard, his throat coming dry as he let his gaze take the beautiful scene in front of him in. Hearing the soft sound of bare feet to the floor, he turned his head and the breath completely left his body.
She was beautiful. Wearing a small, silk nightgown in the same colour as the sheets, with her hair framing her face. She had straightened it, making it look longer than it had been that afternoon. Her eyes sparkled in the light of the candles, and a small smile spread in her face.
"Hi..."
She said quietly, walking closer. Alex swallowed again, fighting to find his lungs.
"You look..."
She placed her hands against his chest, gently resting one of them against his fluttering heart. He closed his eyes and leaned closer, breathing in her scent, feeling his eyes burn slightly.
He blamed it on the candles, but knew that being so close to her, have her there, alive, dressing up for only him, ran his emotions up to the peck.
"I love you." He whispered, looking into her eyes as he brought his hands up to cup her face. Her eyes filled with tears, and she moved closer and closer until her body was flush against his, her lips lingering near his as she whispered her heart filled response. "I love you too."

Alex had to work hard to hold the tears back, and when she placed her soft lips against his, he closed his eyes, panting slightly against her mouth when she pulled back. He felt her fingers curing into his sweater, and he met her gaze as she slowly tugged it upwards. He helped her remove it from his head, and it fell to the floor as her palms met his chest.
Izzie slowly ran her hands down his warm chest, stroking his hard stomach, moving closer when her hands ran up his back. He was perfect. To her, he was the most perfect man in the world.
She looked up to meet his eyes again, her fingers tracing his spine. The emotion that danced in his beautiful eyes seemed to make it harder for her to breathe. She slowly stroked her hands along his arms, taking his hands, bringing them to her body. His palm rested to her breast, the beat of her heart going quicker.
"Touch me."
She whispered, her eyes shinning of love as she touched his cheek, gently caressing. "Please, touch me."
Alex was frozen for a couple of moments, before his hand moved. A soft gasp left her lips as he cupped her breast from the outside of the nightgown. Their eyes met again, sharing a deep moment, before his lips were on hers.
His tongue parted her lips, tangling with hers as he pulled her closer. Her hands explored every inch of skin she could find, she took control, nipping at his lower lip. He groaned quietly, his mouth falling down to her neck. The feel of his hot, wet mouth against her skin made her tremble, her head falling back to give him more to kiss.
His arms wrapped around her, and she arched her back as he pulled her closer, their hips grounding against each others, making them both moan. Alex panted hardly against her skin, kissing his way down to her breasts. Izzie whimpered as her nipples grew rigid hard, her fingers curling in his hair.
His fingers disappeared underneath the nightgown, and she let out a small cry as they suddenly were against her. Her eyes grew heavy with desire as he kissed and licked her nipples through the silk material, his fingers caressing her from the outside of her panties.
She had never been this turned before. Her whole body was trembling, and she could barley breathe.
"Alex... Please..."
She whimpered, wanting to feel his fingers. Wanting him to touch her. His mouth left her breasts, and his face lingered close hers, his eyes dark of desire as he looked into hers.
"Please what, Iz?" He murmured, and she thought she was gonna pass out by the husky and completely sexy tone of his voice.
"Please..." She whispered again, pressing closer.
Alex eyes were locked with hers as his fingers gently pushed her panties aside, and her breath caught in her throat.
"Alex..." She moaned as she finally felt his fingers.
He leaned in and kissed her, his finger finding the small nub with nerves that was already throbbing for him. She broke the kiss and whined against his lips, pressing into his hand as he slid two fingers into her. Her head arched back and he started kissing her neck again, moving his fingers expertly, wrapping his free arm around her to steady her as her legs started to give away.
She closed her eyes and cried out, clinging to him as lights danced before her closed eyes. When she started to come down from her high, she was breathing hard and fast, still clinging to Alex who was softly kissing her cheek, his fingers working her panties down.

They fell to the floor and Izzie quickly stepped out of them, her trembling fingers working with his belt. He pulled back and watched her face with a smile as she tried to get the damn belt buckle undone. He gently put his hands on hers, stopping her.
She looked up to meet his gaze and he smiled at her, making her heart flutter. She let her hands rest to his stomach as he took over the job with his pants, and he succeeded, even though Izzie gave him some distraction, her lips and tongue playing with his ear.
She backed away slowly, smiling softly at him as she grabbed at her nightgown, bringing it slowly over her head.
Alex's tongue darted out to wet his lips as he watched Izzie take the nightgown off. She was standing completely naked before him, and god, how he had missed her body. Her beautiful curves that the cancer hadn't taken away from her, those breasts.
"You're beautiful." He murmured quietly, and reached out to touch her.
She was beautiful. His beautiful. He cupped her breasts in his palms, and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her much slower and softer than before.
Her hands ran down his back and she pushed his boxers down, breaking the kiss to kiss his neck, her fingers wrapping around his hard length. He murmured her name, groaning softly as he nuzzled her hair. She let go of him and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her forehead against his.
He kissed her, and she kissed him back, letting him ease them both down on the bed. He pulled back slightly to meet her gaze, and was met by love. True love. She touched his cheek, so gently, and he nuzzled his nose against hers, a gesture that they had formed.
Her breath trembled as his lips met her breasts, teasing her nipples, sending pleasure pulsating through her veins. His mouth went lower, and she arched her back, whimpering.
"Alex..."
His tongue dipped into her bellybutton, and she shivered, taking a steady hold of his hair.
Slowly, teasingly, his lips moved along her inner thigh. He blew a little air on her ticklish spot, making her giggle. The giggle died on her lips though, replaced by a moan as his tongue flicked over her clit.
Slowly but firmly, he worked her ache, making her gasp and moan her pleasure. "Alex, please... Oh, Alex..." She panted, her nails digging into his scalp. Just before she would have fallen over the edge though, he stopped.
She looked up at him when his face was in her level. He reached up to caress her cheek, dropping his lips against hers, whispering the three words again. She whispered them back, and they kissed again, slowly and softly, while Alex gently slide into her, stretching her. She arched her back, taking him deeper with a weak whimper.
It had been a while since she'd had him inside of her, and the feeling over took her for a moment. The bliss, of finally being one with her husband. Her husband...
"I love you so much." She moaned into his ear, and he nuzzled her neck, thrusting deeper.
She closed her eyes and let her self go, feeling the pleasure, knowing he would always be there to catch her when she came back.

***

A/N: Review?