A/N: Yes, I am still alive, and yes, I am still working on it. A promise is a promise.

Just to make sure you guys are still familiar with the notation here,

- [chapter name] - is from Shirou's POV

~ [chapter name] ~ is Rin's POV

* [chapter name] * Sakura's POV

Chapter 14

- Forsaken -

I didn't even have time to mentally prepare myself. Maybe rehearse what I was going to say to Tohsaka once she opens the door and sees me with Sakura. Maybe I should have, because she would know. Immediately once she will see me with Sakura, she will know I told her everything. She will know I sealed the betrayal. I would have to immediately launch into my explanation and hope she wouldn't slam the door in my face before I get the chance to tell her enough. She might slam the door in my face anyway, just by looking at me.

All these thoughts were spinning in my head a hundred miles an hour in the short few seconds that it took Sakura to ring the doorbell and us waiting for Tohsaka to answer. It was also in those short few seconds that I was relieved that I finally made the right decision. I've been on a streak of mistakes since that night, but talking to Sakura first was the right way to go. Tohsaka won't listen to me, but she will have ears for Sakura's words. I was sure of it.

There were a set of short steps to the door, and I positioned myself on the one lower from Sakura, so that I was slightly behind her, hoping Tohsaka would see her first. My breath caught in my throat as the door opened and I saw Tohsaka's expression change from curiosity to what could only be described as shock.

"Sakura, uh…W-what brings you here?" she stammered slightly and she fiddled with her skirt. Her manners forced her to be poised and polite, but it showed that she was unnerved by Sakura being there. For all I knew, Sakura never came at her door before. At least since she was sent to the Matous.

"I came to talk to you, Toh—" Sakura stopped mid-sentence, and took a deep breath. "Nee-san." Sakura's body was a little stiff, but she didn't seem as uncomfortable as Tohsaka. Her tone was normal, serene almost.

If Tohsaka was surprised at all at the change in formalities, she didn't show it. "All right, come on in." She motioned Sakura inside. When the latter stepped forward, Tohsaka saw that I was hiding and she fixed me with her narrowed gaze. Her glare was so penetrating, I swallowed loudly, preparing myself for her wrath.

Instead of yelling at me though, she looked down her nose at me like I was something disgusting she found on the back of her shoe, and simply said, "You can wait outside." And with that she promptly closed the door.

I stared at the door, and I almost couldn't believe she did that, even though I should have. Despite the tension, I chuckled and mused about how that was just like Tohsaka. I consented to waiting outside until Sakura was done and I would hear all the details from her. It wasn't too cold either, so I didn't mind. I was glad Sakura was able to talk with her sister and finally settle this. I walked down the stairs and I was making my way to the sidewalk, where I could sit down and wait when I heard a sound coming from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw that the door opened. Sakura walked out and in the doorframe there was a frustrated Tohsaka talking,

"–I don't want to see him," she said and folded her arms across her chest in a sign of finality.

"Please Nee-san, I need him there." With that, Sakura walked down the steps, put both of her hands around my arm. She looked back at Tohsaka and her expression looked much like a child toward her mother, asking for a second ice cream cone.

Tohsaka eyed the place where we were touching, and she frowned for a split second, pondering. Then she waved a hand and just said, "Fine."

Sakura smiled up at me and led me into the house. It felt like I haven't been here in so long, when it was only the other night that we both walked out together to go to the Matou house. So much has happened since then. I had a brief thought while I was walking through the door when I honestly wondered if things would ever be right again. If the damage that I caused was irreversible. Not necessarily between the two sisters, but between me and Tohsaka. Regardless of how hot-headed, and difficult, and infuriating, and temperamental she can be, Tohsaka was still one of the only close friends I had. She agreed to help me research something she did not believe was possible. She helped me more than she should have during the Holy Grail War. She saved my neck more times than I can count. I didn't want to lose her just because I made one stupid mistake.

Tohsaka closed the door behind us, and then promptly folded her arms across her chest again in her famous say-what-you-have-to-say-then-get-out pose. "Why did he have to be here? You could've told me what you had to tell me with him waiting outside too." I could tell she was still upset, but her tone was a lot softer with Sakura. More like a mother reprimanding a child for asking for that second ice cream cone.

"Because," Sakura started. Her fingers tightened ever so slightly on my arm. I didn't even realize she was still holding onto me until she did that. "Just like I wanted to forgive you, I think you should forgive Senpai as well."

Tohsaka's surprise reflected my own and our widened gazes met before we both looked at Sakura. I thought the entire purpose for us going to the Tohsaka house tonight was to set things right between the two of them. It seemed like Sakura had other plans in mind. Silence stretched between us, and I wasn't sure if I should say something or not. If I did, what could I say? So many thoughts were spinning in my mind, and yet, at the same time, it felt oddly blank. I couldn't seem to be able to connect two words together, let alone an entire sentence.

"Why should I forgive him?" Tohsaka's words were angry, her posture rigid. Set.

"Because without Senpai, I never would have found out some things about you. Talking to me on just a superficial level isn't the best way to show you care, Nee-san," Sakura smiled at Tohsaka, even though the latter blushed a bright red. It wasn't very often that I saw Tohsaka blush, and it also wasn't very often that I heard Sakura talk so boldly.

"I-" Tohsaka seemed at a loss for words. "I don't even know what to say." Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the ground, completely forlorn. "All this time, I didn't really know what to do." Tohsaka looked up to meet her sister's eyes. She seemed to have forgotten that I was present. "We used to be so close, but in time, I didn't even know how to talk to you anymore. Father forbid me to ever go see you, and in the beginning I was too scared to do otherwise. But after he was gone, and the War was over, there was nothing in my way. Except Zouken of course," she frowned, adding him almost as an afterthought. "I was still very young. I didn't know anything. I promised Uncle Kariya that I would come back after you, but the more time I let pass, the more afraid I was to face you. I didn't want you to blame me, but I knew you would, and I was terrified of facing that." Her voice cracked and I saw one tear slide down her pale cheek. "I was terrified to face you, to face my own guilt. I don't deserve your forgiveness, Sakura," she said, her voice trembling violently now. "I'm such a coward," a sob broke her lips. She spoke a little more after that, but she was crying too hard for us to understand what she was saying. Finally, she covered her face with her palms and cried in earnest.

For just a moment, nobody made a sound, and the only thing that filled the silence were Tohsaka's sobs. Without another word, Sakura let go of my arm and ran to Tohsaka. Without another word, Sakura enveloped Tohsaka in her arms and let her sister cry on her shoulder. Tohsaka returned the embrace, and she held onto Sakura for dear life. It was at that moment that I decided to leave. This was a private moment, no outsiders should be present, witnessing this. As quietly as I could, I opened the door and left. When I took one last look behind me, they were in the same position, so I knew they didn't notice my leaving.

Once I closed the door behind me, I sighed in relief, and smiled up at the sky. Whether my relationship with Tohsaka was damaged or broken, right now it didn't matter to me. What mattered is that it looked like the two sisters were back together, and that thought alone made me inexplicably happy. I would take it one step at a time, and right now, that was enough. Feeling lighter than I did in a while, I started on the route to go back home.

* Forgiven *

I didn't know for how long I held Nee-san as she cried on my shoulder. That gave me a lot of time to think. I realized everything that happened in the last 12 years. Or didn't happen. I realized I thought Nee-san didn't care for me anymore and simply abandoned me to the Matous like father did. I realized that I bore a long, burning hatred for her, even though, deep down, I always wanted her to love me back. I've always wanted us to be like we were. Though I don't have very many memories of us from when we were that young and still together, I cherished those blurred, rough sketches that my mind created to preserve those memories. Finding out that she had cared for me all along made me incredibly happy, and at the same time, incredibly angry. She didn't know what I went through, she didn't know anything about the agony of simply living in the same building as Matou Zouken. I didn't think that guilt and shame were enough reasons for her to abandon me. I almost wanted her to work for her forgiveness, but at the same time, I wanted to forgive her more than anything.

As I held her to cry on my shoulder, I also realized that she is merely human. Humans make mistakes. Humans aren't perfect. She wasn't always strong, she wasn't always brave, and she didn't always do the right thing. As I listened to her I realized that she blames herself more than I ever will. My anger and bitterness vanished, and all I wanted to do was comfort her and make her pain go away.

For some inexplicable reason, I remembered one time when we were little and I was crying on my pillow. My memory shed away the reason for my tears, but I remember clearly Nee-san coming on the bed next to me. I looked up at her and saw that her big blue eyes were sad, but she tried to smile nonetheless and said, "Don't cry, Sakura-chan. Onee-chan loves you!" And she hugged me tightly.

I smiled at the memory, even though I felt a wet streak on my cheek and realized I started crying too. Sniffing, I took Nee-san by the shoulder. She immediately stepped back away from me, as if wondering if it was ok that she cried on my shoulder. Her eyes were tear-stricken, puffy and red from all the crying. As they were searching mine, they widened as I got closer. Gently, I cupped her cheeks and rubbed her tears with my thumbs, and said, smiling through my own tears, "Don't cry, Nee-san. Onee-chan loves you."

Nee-san sniffed, but when she spoke, her voice was surprisingly steady. "I need to show you something." Without another word, she took my hand, much like she used to do when we were little, and led me up two flights of stairs. As we passed rooms and corridors, I tried to remember what all of them were used for, but couldn't. My memory shed away all this seemingly useless information with time until I couldn't remember much of anything from my old home.

Nee-san stopped in front of the many unidentified doors. This one was to the side of another staircase. I looked at her questioningly, but all she did was motion toward it for me to go in.

I opened the door, but stayed in the doorframe. Even though she told me to go in, I felt awkward going any further. I looked around, surveying the room. It was very elegantly furnished, with a large, four-poster bed, two nightstands, a dresser with a large round mirror, everything carved in cherry wood, with the same style as the rest of the house. The crystal chandelier and the red silk curtains gave the room a nice touch. I didn't know how I knew that that was her room. Perhaps I remember, or perhaps it was simply because the dominant color theme of the room was red, Nee-san's favorite color. There was nothing else about it that would indicated it was her bedroom though, since there was nothing individualized in the room. No books or personal items on the nightstands, nothing on the walls, like a painting or a picture frame, nothing. It looked like a fancy hotel room. Vacant and cold.

I looked at her, wondering why she brought me here. Instead of answering the question in my eyes, she gave me a gentle nudge to step further, and she closed the door behind us.

Surprisingly, and completely out of place, on the opposite wall from her large bed, was a small twin one, with a baby blue comforter with cherry blossoms on it. On the bed there were also matching pillows, a small pink heart-shaped pillow and a large teddy-bear.

These images stirred something inside me, something about them tugged at my memory, but I was left blank. Nee-san walked away from my side and went to the nightstand that was further away from us and took the picture frame that was sitting on it. Until she picked it up, I didn't even notice it was there. She brought it over and showed it to me.

The image brought tears to my eyes, flowing fast. It was us, when we were little. When everything was the way it should be. When everything was still right. When I was still…myself.

I suddenly understood what she was showing me. All the things on the twin bed, including the bed itself, used to be mine when I was a child. I vaguely remembered any of the things on it, but the fact that she kept them in her room, for all these years, said more to me than she could ever say in words.

"Sakura?" Nee-san's voice was soft and shy, reminding me once again of when we were kids. When I looked in her eyes, I saw that she had stopped crying. "I'm sorry."

I smiled through my tears, wondering how I could have ever even dreamed of holding a grudge against her. I gathered her in my arms, and said, "It's okay. Everything is okay now."

A/N: Ok guys, I know this chapter is shorter than all my other ones. I tried to continue it, but it didn't sound right. I felt like the chapter naturally ended there, so I let it like that. Don't worry, this is not going to be a usual occurrence. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and, once again, I apologize for the long wait.

I also want to thank you all for your support. When I put this story on hold and clearly said that I won't have time to work on it as I used to, I didn't expect most of you to stay. Nor did I expect more people to come along who are willing to wait. You guys are the very reason I am still writing. Knowing that so many people are waiting is like a daily push for me to write. And, I have been writing daily for the past two weeks, little by little.

Thank you all for those who are waiting, thank you for your reviews and kind words, adding this tory to your favorites or alerts or simply reading it is enough for me. You guys are the greatest, I love you all. :)