Author Note: So I was going through things, found my old laptop, and found this. Here you guys go. THE ENDING! Thank you so much to all of you who supported this story. Love you bunches. You don't know how much your support meant to me. I read through this and I'm not sure how you will feel about this ending, but I promised a HAPPY ending and I think I delivered that given the circumstances of the story. See you at the end.

Animal I Have Become

Chapter Twenty-Four

Sitting on the bed facing the sliding glass doors that lead out to the balcony, L ran a hand through his wet hair, feeling the stitches. Lucky, was the word the school nurse had put it. Very, very lucky. And he was, wasn't he? He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before looking up at Kira. No. Light. "You misspelled our names.", he said, remembering how the teen had called him a monster. It was not a lie. L knew what he was.

"Yes.", Light answered, leaning against the glass doors and gazing out at the night. The moon shined through the glass, bathing the teen in a clear but blueish light. He looked like a little boy rather than his actual age.

"Why?", L bluntly asked. "I know it was not out of devotion to me. I firmly believe you meant everything you said down there. You wanted to go with them."

There was no use in telling anymore lies. "I did. But not to help them. I didn't want to do that. I just wanted…." Light paused, swallowing. It was hard to get out the right words. "I just wanted to leave. Be free. I didn't care about Near and Kei. I thought I could. I've written so many names but Matt-he-….I just couldn't write his name. Or yours."

L nodded as if he understood. He didn't really, but he wanted to. "He's pretty upset at you. He's angry. But he'll get over it. He's with Mello right now." L briefly wondered if the kiss between Matt and Light had ever meant anything. He didn't think so.

"Are you going to punish me?" The boy's voice was low, almost scared as the scars on the back of his thighs burned at the thought of what L could do to him. He didn't blame L if he finally sentenced him to his death.

But L jolted at the question. He bit his thumb nail, gazing into Light's eyes. "No." Things between them had changed. For better or for worse, L had yet to figure it out, but they could not go back to the way they were. "You saved our lives. You took out Kei who was a killer and stopped Near, the master mind behind it all. I guess…." Don't be a monster, his heart said. Be what Watari wanted you to be. "I guess I should say thank you. You saved my life. You saved this school. My successors. I can not say that I understand why…but you did. For that, I thank you."

The teen's lips parted in shock. L was saying thank you?

L continued, "What I don't understand, is that even though you didn't want to write down Matt and Mello's names in the basement, you could have wrote down mine. Near made a passport for you. A good one. Why not just write my name down and then wait to write Kei or Near's till after you got safely into another country? You would have been free."

Light looked back at L. His Master. And all he could think about was a red M&M and how his own mind was full of cracks. He was an animal by his own doing. Not L's. It took him awhile to realize that. L might have slipped the collar onto his neck, but he became a depraved animal that night at the comic book store when he wrote the first name in the Death Note. Finally, he whispered, "I was going to...but you would have just found me sooner or later and-" and I want to go home but my family believes I am dead and even if they could know the truth they… they wouldn't want me... " I'm done running. Especially now that I have nowhere to run away to… Just… If you're not going to punish me, can you make it fast?"

L frowned, not understanding. "Make what fast?"

"My death."

Against his will, L's eyes closed. "I'm not going to kill you." Is that what he thinks? I am a monster.

"Why?" Light folded his arms across his chest feeling cold. "You still want to keep me? But I'm of no use to you."

"I don't know about that. You did make the eye deal with Ryuk." He stood, and approached the teen, a hand reaching up to brush fingers against the cold hardness around Light's neck. "Do you want me to remove it?"

Light almost answered but stopped himself. He was broken not stupid.

L smirked, gaving into those beautiful eyes that he had fallen for a long time ago. "It's not a trick question."

"I killed that boy. I'm still a murderer. And I'm a bigger threat to you now that I have the Shinigami eyes."

"You did. And I'm...I'm actually glad you did." If that made L a monster then so be it. "You all would have gotten away had you not and well, I'm glad to have you here. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure myself why."

The teen wasn't sure how he should feel about that either. But he did find some kind of strange comfort. He could recall a teacher in school once saying, 'Better to be with the devil you know than the stranger you don't.'

L continued, "Near is being held in a cell for the time being. Not for long. I have plans for him. As for your eyes… I'm not worried. You had the chance to not only kill me but to escape. You had the chance to be a God again, but you chose not to. Is that because I trained you so well? Or because you made a choice? A human choice?" Can I undo what I've done? Can monsters and animals redeem themselves?

Light lifted his hand to cover L's fingers that hovered over the collar around his neck. He intertwined their fingers, gazing into those dark eyes and sending a cold chill down L's back. "Take it off." There was no please. It was a demand that sounded like Light-kun.

Smiling, L pulled the key out of his back pocket and removed the harsh collar. Once it was removed, he watched the teen rub his neck looking slightly more relaxed. "You're still as beautiful as the day I met you." He tossed the collar on the floor. "Did you mean what you said before? In the basement. You could have fallen for me?"

They were so close. L could feel Light's breath against his own lips. He slipped his hands onto the teen's hips and jerked him close. As hard as it was to control himself, he waited. He would let Light, yes Light, make the next move. This would all be up to him. L knew this was a line here he was crossing. This was making a decision he couldn't go back on. But for once he didn't want to be a monster. He didn't want to be selfish.

Light stood there, watching the light shine in L's dark eyes. He waited for L to make his move and when he didn't, Light knew that it was a choice. L, was giving him a choice. He could take it, or he could turn away from it, but he didn't want to. Maybe that meant he was crazy. Hell, what did it matter to be crazy when you were full of cracks? Without wasting a second longer, he threw his arms around L's neck and pressed their lips together in answer. It was a lie if he ever told himself there was nothing between them but criminal and detective.

L couldn't help himself, he started stroking his hand over Light's hair. God, did it feel good. It was smooth and sleek. Feeling things could easily get out of control, at least where L's control was concerned, he stepped back before the boy could deepen the kiss. "This is what Light-kun wants?" Suddenly, L was frightened. He wanted to make sure. He needed to know. The deal between them-he was willing to break it. To rip the bloody paper in half. To burn it. Light was not an animal. He was not a dog. He was a young man who was hot and pliant in his arms. The two were not so different, that was true. And L wanted to explore that. Maybe they could, if Light could forgive all those monstrous things he had done to him. You can't forget scars, but maybe, maybe you can forgive them. He could forgive Light, he knew now.

Light shivered from head to toe. How long? How long had it been since L had called him, Light-kun? It felt good. More than good.

"You saved me.", L said then. "You don't know it. You may never understand. But you saved me. In more ways than one when you didn't write my true name."

Light pressed his cheek against L's and let the older man hold him close. "We saved each other."

Mello couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Let me get this straight. Near gave up the notebook and because he no longer remembers anything he's done you are just going to drop it? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. He killed, people, L!"

Matt shuffled his feet nervously. "I think L knows what he's doing."

"I do know what I'm doing.", L responded. "Near has no memory. The Death Note… It's not easy to just put it away and not use it to your advantage." He sighed, leaning back in his chair at the conference table. "It corrupts even those with the best of intentions."

"Are you trying to justify his murders? He betrayed all of us."

Matt rested his hand over Mello's attempting to calm him. "He doesn't remember a thing. Mell. And Kei is the one who actually committed the murders. I think we should trust L. Like we should have done all along."

Shaking his head, Mello couldn't agree. "Roger-"

"Roger would want this.", L interrupted. "He would want to pardon Near. He's young and the Death Note is a supernatural weapon that corrupts. It's hidden now. No one can touch it ever again and Ryuk is satisfied with the deal we made with him. Besides, it's not like you have to worry about competing against him. I did take that from him. He is no longer a successor."

"What?" The word slipped out of Matt and Mello's lips at the same time.

"Allowing Near to be the next L is a liability now. I can't allow him that position. Ever. But he doesn't deserve jail." L pictured Light as just a teenager standing in his boxers in a room full of grown men who attacked him to the floor and handcuffed him. It felt like years ago. He wished he could go back and undo it. All of it. "He deserves another chance. It will be punishment enough that he doesn't remember why he has lost everything."

A moment of stillness passed between them. Mello unknowing what to say. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Straightening up in his chair, Mello couldn't help but mumble, "But if Matt doesn't have to be L if he doesn't want to then...then does that…?"

"Yes. Your are the next L."

Matt squeezed his lover's hand so tight it hurt Mello's delicate bones. "Are you for real? Can you make that decision yet?"

"I have to. I'm leaving."

"LEAVING?" Again, the two boys sounded like twins.

"Jay is here to finish your training. I think it's time that I step down and give you boys a chance to step up."

"Where would you go?", Matt asked, feeling scared. How could L leave after all that just happened? "When will you be back?"

L hesitated. He thought about telling a lie, then changed his mind thinking it would be better to be honest about it all. "I won't be back. I'll keep in touch but I need the three of you to work together now. Try being friends for a change. And Jay is here now. Also the teachers here know what they are doing. Try listening to them. For once in your life."

Mello's head was spinning. "Are you saying that you're stepping down- now? That I'm the next L?"

"Not L. You are now M. And Near can assist you. So can Matt. You may hold the title, but I want the three of you to work together. Promise me that you will work together."

Smiling, Matt nodded. "I promise. I'll keep them inline for you."
L smirked, "Thanks."

Mello; however, wasn't able to bring himself to smile just yet. "What about Kira? When are you sending him back to jail? Or are you?"

The elephant in the room was finally addressed. Matt bit his lip. Please, he thought, please. I know there is good in him. Please, don't punish him…

Taking a deep breath, L stood from his chair. "Kira is… Kira is returning to the prison. Don't worry. There will be additional security. No new contracts. He will be fine." Without giving anyone a chance to ask questions or Matt to protest against the prison, L pulled a key out of his back pocket along with a cell phone and a folded envelop. He laid them in front of Mello. "Don't read that yet. Read it first thing in the morning. Can you do that? Can you handle the wait?"

Scoffing, Mello rolled his eyes. "Of course. But why?" He looked down at the paper with curiosity. "What's in it?"

"Your first case."

"My first-oh. Wow. Uhm. Seriously?"

"Yes. But do as I say. Wait till morning. And Matt. As for you, don't let them kill each other. And...don't let them forget that they are human. Humans forgive. Humans have compassion. Justice.. Well, justice .isn't always what is seems."

Mello didn't get it, but Matt did. He stood and did the unthinkable: he hugged L. Mello watched in awe as L ran a comforting hand up and down Matt's arm.

"I won't." Matt promised. "But Kira is-"

"Don't worry. He wants to go. And I'll be escorting him myself."

When L stepped back, he pulled a tennis ball from his other pocket, holding it out to Matt. The teen glanced from L to the ball as he slowly took it. "L..."

"He asked that I give it to you. To remember him by after he is gone."

"I don't know what to say." Matt reached out taking the tennis ball. "Tell him how sorry I am. I took advantage or lost my head or something. I don't know. Just tell him I'm sorry for that stupid kiss, alright?"

L made a gentle sound of amusement, "He's not that much older than you. However, I know why you did it even if you don't. He knows as well. You felt sorry for him, Matt. That is called compassion. A kiss might not exactly have been what you should have done, but at your age, with hormones and puberty I doubt you could have deciphered that one on your own. It wasn't wrong, though. Compassion for someone, anyone, who is suffering is never wrong. I know that now. I know I was wrong. I was selfish in all the wrong ways." L laid his hand on Matt's shoulder, gazing into his young eyes, "You were right all along. Don't lose your compassion, Matt. That's why he and I both want you to have the ball as a reminder."

Deeply touched, Matt moved the ball close to his chest. Mello beside him, only bit his lip. It was hard to move past what Matt had done with a convicted murderer, but he wanted Matt and he wanted to forgive him. It would take time but they were young and Mello and Matt had more than enough time to work things out. And though Matt wanted more for Kira than a prison cell, he knew that it would be better than what his previously existence as a pet. At least in the prison he was human.

They watched in quiet as L, hands in his pockets and slouching, made his way out of the room and down the hall. Would it be the last time they saw him? The two hoped not. As L's footsteps died out, Matt didn't wait for Mello to speak, instead he reached over, grabbed the back of his blond head and crushed their lips together.

Mello melted immediately. He left Matt take control, swirling their tongues and moaning when Matt tugged his hair. Their chests were pressed tight together, and as they broke apart breathless, they were both smiling uncontrollably.

"I know..", Matt panted. "what you are thinking. And don't be. Kira has nothing on you."

Feeling a warm sensation make it's way up into his chest, Mello closed his eyes. "I love you. I want you to know that."

"I love you too.", he promised. "It's you and me."

L stood in front of his bed packing his clothes. Kira sat with his legs crossed near the suitcase watching L's every single move. His big eyes showed all the worry and fear that was inside of him. L finally said, "I am not taking you back to prison. If that is what you are thinking."

Kira froze. He'd been expecting to return to his prison cell when L had tore up the paper that was their contract. He had been mentally preparing himself for the last hour. "Then where-"

"You will see. In the mean time...", L pulled out what looked to be a passport from another bag on the bed. "I need you to look at this. Study it. Have it memorized within approximately twenty minutes. I know that is within your capabilities."

Cautiously, Kira reached for the little blue book and flipped it open. His eyes widened at the information. It was a picture of himself. But the name was not Yagami Light. He was apparently Ulrich Neil Dottir now. "I don't understand."

"To be honest, I can not tell you that I understand it myself." L pressed a thumb to his lips as he thought about this new situation he was in. He liked it. "I made the animal contract out of cruel selfishness. I broke it out of pure selfishness, except this time I don't plan to be cruel to you." He stopped shoving a shirt in the suitcase and looked up, straight into those brown eyes. " I want to try with you."

The teen was still gazing at the passport of lies. "Try what with me?" He asked, his voice so low L nearly missed it.

"We have already tackled detective and suspect, master and dog. I want to try being lovers with you. I want to try to have a friendship. An honest friendship. For once."

That got his attention. "W-what?" His eyes snapped up to L's and he couldn't see the first lie anywhere in those dark orbs.

"Light… Can I call you Light again?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Only if you would like to try. I will not force you. Not this time. Each step we take will be on your command. I've ripped our contract. I have stepped down as L. And before you say anything, I know that it would take time. I'm not even asking you to forgive me. Hell, I'm not asking you to move past it either. Your scars are there and they will always be. I'm only asking you to try."

The teen lay the passport down beside him, forgetting the fake name and studying the man standing across from him. "If, if I say no, will I go back to the prison?"

Shaking his head, L cupped Kira's cheek. "Only if that is what Light wants. You can come with me and we can try. Or you can stay here. Jay has offered to help you. She wants to use your brain. However not without a giving up ownership of your Death Note and wearing a tracking device. But yes. You do have a choice."

Light's eyes drifted downward to his hands. He wasn't stupid. He knew he was better off with L. "If I stay it will be just like the prison."

"A ninety percent chance, yes. I doubt Jay and Mello would give you anymore freedom than Near would have to be honest."

"I want to go with you then."

L bit his thumb at that quick answer. "I can't promise you more freedom. There is a good possibility that Mello and the boys will come after us looking to arrest you. But I can promise that I will try to be a better man."

Light looked back down at the passport. After a moment to make up his mind he whispered, "I can try to be a better man."

It felt like the longest plane ride L and ever been on. So when the plane finally landed, he could not wait to get off the damned thing. He took a hold of Light's hand, and together they exited the plane. Neither man had said a word to the other during the time it took to leave the school to their apparent arrival. That is until Light asked, "Where are we?"

With Light's hand in his left hand and briefcase in his right, L led the teen to a black limo that was parked and waiting for them. "Japan."

"I thought so." Light had recognized the airport from when he was younger and his family had went on summer vacations together. He frowned as an image of his a six year old version of himself what snack he wanted to take on the plane ride. He shook his head. "Were we not going to America?"

L explained, "This is just a quick side trip and then we will be back on the plane heading out."

Light nodded, not really interested. He knew he didn't exactly have a lot of options. Besides he wanted to stay with L. Insane as it sounded, he truly did.

Twenty minutes into the drive, Light's eyes began to drop and within another ten he was asleep, heading laying against L's shoulder. L allowed him to sleep for the next two hours, but then nudged the boy away. "Wake up. We are here."

Groaning, the teen sat up, wiping an eye sleepily. "Where is here?" He looked out the window on L's side, the left, to see a blue house with a swing set. It was all too familiar. But it couldn't be. Could it? Light's head jerked to the right, gazing out his own window in disbelief as he realized he was looking at his parents house. When he turned his head back to the right he found L gazing at him softly. "L? I don't understand."

"I called your father."

"What?"

L turned his head away, unable to look Light in the eye as he explained, "I gave your mother and father a lie to believe in. You can take this as an opportunity to say goodbye."

Light's heart beat sped up frantically pounding in his chest. "Good...bye? You mean you're going to let me-"

"Yes. You can go inside. But only for an hour."

An entire hour? Without realizing it, tears started to stream down Light's cheeks, and over his chin. He could hold his mother in his arms one more time. Kiss Sayu's forhead. He could tell his father how incredibly sorry he was… "I don't understand. I don't- I mean-", stumbling on his words, Light had to close his mouth and just stare at L before he broke down into a sob.

"It's not much, I know; however, an hour is all that I can give you. I should also tell you that you won't be given this opportunity again. Take advantage of it."

"But my dad…" The teen swallowed hard. "I've killed people. He doesn't want-"

"Yes he does." L reached up and wiped the fresh tears spilling down Light's neck. " They all think that you pretended to be Kira in order to trick the real Kira. Your family knows that you are alive. They believe you were forced to live under the witness protection program for your protection from Kira and that you have been working by my side all this time in secrecy to catch him. They are also waiting for you inside. They know you have only an hour. Say what you need to say, Light. Do what you need to do."

Feeling brave, Light leaned over and pressed their lips together. It was not a kiss. More like a brushing of soft skin but it still sent a volt of excitement through L's body. L reached around Light and opened the car door for the boy. "I'm afraid your countdown begins now."

Light didn't have to be told twice. He flew out of the car just as the front door opened. Sayu ran out and Light swept her up into his arms, kissing her cheeks and squeezing her tight enough that she nearly couldn't breath. L watched as Light was called inside and the door shut. He wished he could give Light more. As he waited for the boy, L thought of Watari, the man who was most like a father. He missed the man more than he ever thought he would. And he thought of the boys. Especially Mello. He wondered how Mello handled what he found in the envelop this morning. L smirked to himself just picturing the blond.

Mello's hands shook with anger as he tossed the manilla envelop on the table. "I can't believe this!"

"Believe what?" Matt asked, picking up the only thing that had been inside the envelop, a letter addressed to the boys. "What does the letter say?"

"He's gone! L left!"

"We knew he was leaving on a plan this morning. He told us so."

"He failed to mention a few things!" Mello slammed his fists down on the table. "He let that murderer go! It's enough that we have to forgive and forget with Near but letting Kira go? That takes the cake."

Matt glanced down at the letter, reading L's messy handwriting.

Dear boys,

By the time you open this letter I will have left at 0500 hours. Seeing that I am no longer L, I will be taking this retirement as an opportunity to do all of the things I have yet to do in life. Perhaps I will go see the great pyramids in Egypt. Whatever I decide to do know that I will think of you often. I wish you the best of luck on your first case. Jay has all of the information you will need. It is a fairly simple case. I expect you to solve within a few days time. I will miss you all. Be courageous, be compassionate, be detectives. Never forget your humanity. Even criminals can be victims. L

P.S. I should tell you that I have taken Kira with me instead of returning him to the prison or under Jay's authority. I know, Mello, that you believe he should be behind bars. I know it as well as you do. But for the first time in my life I am being selfishly selfless. If that makes sense. I am aware that this act of allowing a murderer to go free makes me a criminal myself; therefor, I trust that as the world's new top detective you three will come looking for us. I am prepared for that. In fact I wish you luck in the matter.

P.S.S I have been told to tell Matt that the game is not over. Huntington, California.

Matt chuckled as he dropped the letter on the table. "Wow. So L is on the run with a criminal. Can't say I blame him. Kira is rather good looking."

Mello rolled his eyes. "We're going to catch them."

"Are we?" Matt asked, sounding somewhere between amused and sarcastic.

"Yes! Kira should be in a ten by ten cell. I can't believe he let him go. Come on."

Matt watched as Mello stood from his chair and stormed from the room. When he realized Matt didn't follow Mello made a U-turn and came back. "What are you doing just standing there? And stop laughing, this isn't funny."

"Sorry." Matt said, forcing himself to breath normal and stop laughing. He grabbed Mello's hand, intertwining their fingers and walked out heading towards Roger's-no, Jay's-office. "I was just thinking of cities that start with the letter I. Do you know any? Maybe Near does. Lets go see."

Mello rolled his eyes. But he went along anyways.

3 YEARS LATER

(Summer, Islamorada)

He stood with his feet in the water, watching the current pull the sand out from under his toes, and feeling as the wind blew the strands of his hair in at least ten different directions. The power of the ocean never failed to amaze him. He closed his eyes and breathed in the salty air deep into his lungs. He felt free. He felt calm.

Soon, strong arms reached around his waist, pulling him backwards against a warm chest. "I thought I would find you out here."

When Light said nothing, L kissed the side of the man's jaw. "You've been out here all morning."

"I like the sound of the waves. And watching the seagulls."

L planted another kiss, but this time turning the younger in his arms around to face him. "We could stay longer if you would like."

Light shook his head. "We're already packed. Besides we've been here a month. I'm ready to see the Rio." He reached his hand down, lacing their fingers together as they made their way up the shore toward the little bungalow they shared.

"Are you tired yet?" L asked, quietly enjoying the feeling of the cool sand against his barefeet.

"Tired?"

"Of traveling. With me. Never settling."

Light though about it. He liked being alone with L. He enjoyed the sights, the new flavors of food, the different experiences. Being only a few steps ahead of Matt. Yes, he liked it. He liked laying in bed with L, learning who the man behind the letter was. The man who actually really enjoyed sea food, could play nearly any instrument, and hated cold weather. Lights couldn't see himself tiring of learning about L. Instead he found his self saying, "I don't have a choice. Does it matter?"

L felt the weight of those words. It was easy to chose L when your only other options meant being under lock and key. He nearly stopped walking, a new question was on his lips when Light said, "I still chose you." Light smiled as he said the words, stopping to look L in his dark eyes.

Without warning, L grabbed the back of Light's head. His fingernails scrapped the back of Light's scalp as L gripped his hair, pulling his head down to kiss him. Light moaned and melted into the kiss.

That afternoon, Light picked up his duffel bag from the floor throwing it over his shoulder. He looked around the bungalow, checking one last time that they had all of their belongings. When he was satisfied nothing was left behind, he approached the bed that he and L had shared the last several months and placed a postcard on the pillow.

Leaning against the doorway, L smirked as he saw that the picture of the postcard was of San Antonia, Texas. "Really?", he teased. "San Antonia was the best you could do?"

Light laughed as he walked to L. "Just keeping with tradition."

"Do you have the other?"

"Yes." Light held up the postcard of a kitten playing on the beach in front of a sunset. On the three note line he had written, Wish you were here. He signed it, Neil Dottir. His father would know who it was from and that wherever he was, it meant that Light was okay.

But Light was more than okay.

He was with L.

Author Note: So...WOW. Didn't think this story would ever come to an end. But here we are. This was my first fanfiction, like, ever, and to see it end is a little heartbreaking for me. I hope you enjoyed the ride though. I really do. Thanks so much to all of you who read until the end and stuck through the ups and downs of this story.