Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Bleach or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

Yawning, Ichigo stretched and flung his covers off the bed. Sitting up, he placed his feet on the floor and yawned again. "Damn, I'm tired." He said, stifling yet another yawn as he stood up and headed to his closet. Knocking on the door, he jumped when it was suddenly thrown open. "Crap, Rukia don't do that! Do you want to give me a heart attack?"

"Stop complaining and get ready." Rukia said as she jumped out of her closet. "Everyone's going to be here soon."

"Hah, Ichigo's always late." A small stuffed lion creature said. "I say we leave without him. What do you say Rukia?" With hearts in his eyes he ran towards her with outstretched arms, only to run into her foot and be ground into the floor.

"Who said you were coming Kon?" Rukia asked as she stomped on him again.

"Ichigo!" Kon whined. "You can't leave me here. What will you do with your body if a Hollow shows up?" Smirking since he figured he'd won, Kon applauded his brilliance.

"First of all, we're going to the woods so I doubt any Hollows will show up." Ichigo said. "And secondly, I can just leave my body with Chad and Inoue. Problem solved, and you still stay here."

"That's not fair!" Kon cried to Rukia, anime style tears pouring down his face. "I promise I'll behave."

Picking the animal up, Rukia cuddled him. "Ok, as long as you don't cause any problems you can come." Ichigo looked like he was going to object and Rukia narrowed her eyes at him. "He's coming and that's final." With the matter closed, she put Kon down and grabbed her bags from under her bed. "Now hurry up so you can get some breakfast before we leave. I'll meet you downstairs." Opening the door, she disappeared down the hallway.

Ichigo opened his mouth to protest, but Rukia was already gone so he settled for glaring at Kon instead. "You got lucky this time, but you'd better not do anything stupid." He said as he pulled out some clothes and started to strip. "I have no problem leaving you out there."

Gulping, Kon took a breath and crossed his arms. "You won't be able to." He said cockily. "My Rukia will protect me."

"The only reason she agreed to let you come is because you turned on the waterworks." Ichigo said as he pulled on his jeans. "You can't do that if you're not around."

Eyes widening, Kon flew out of the room screaming Rukia's name.

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo haphazardly straightened his bed before grabbing his pack and heading downstairs. Dropping his bag by the door, he walked into the kitchen and immediately had to dodge a flying bowl. "What the he-." He started to say, but never got to finish because Kon was suddenly launched at his face.

"Oh, Ichigo." Rukia said calmly as she lowered her leg to the ground. "About time you got down here you lazy ass." Putting some rice into a clean bowl she sat down and proceeded to eat.

Tossing Kon to the floor, Ichigo shook his head and grabbed some food as well. "I guess that means he's staying here then?" He asked. When Rukia nodded, Kon opened his mouth to protest and Ichigo's foot shot out on instinct and launched him across the room.

Kon stood up and placed his 'hands' on his hips. "How dare yo-." Just then the front door was kicked open and he found himself trampled by several pairs of feet.

"Yo Rukia, Ichigo!" Renji said as he joined the two at the table. "You all ready for the camping trip?"

"Yep, I've got everything I need according to this book." Rukia said as she held up a yellow and black book entitled 'Camping for Dummies'.

Byakuya, who had remained quiet since he followed Renji in, rolled his eyes at his sister as she opened her book and showed it to Renji.

Ichigo watched the whole display with a slightly puzzled look on his face until everything finally sunk in. "Wait a sec!" He said, jumping up quickly. "Who the hell invited you two?!"

Raising an eyebrow, Byakuya snorted and turned his head. He did not have to explain himself to a 'substitute'.

Rolling his eyes at the proud captain, Ichigo turned to Renji and waited for his answer only to find his nose buried in Rukia's book.

"Wow, I had no idea that there was so much involved in camping." Renji said in awe as he skimmed the page. Sensing a murderous intent, he looked up to see a very pissed off Ichigo. "What's up?" He asked as he flipped another page.

"Why are you guys here?" Ichigo asked again. "…wait, how do you even know about this trip?"

"I told them." Rukia said as she pointed out another important detail to Renji. "And Renji thought it sounded fun." Looking up she glanced at her brother. "But I don't know why Byakuya's here."

"Oh, he said he was bored so I invited him to come with us." Renji said with a shrug as he swiped Ichigo's toast. Then as an afterthought he added. "Though I'm really surprised he agreed."

Grabbing his food back, Ichigo quickly scarfed it down. Reaching for his chopsticks, he paused and looked up. "Um, do you guys even know what camping is?"

Byakuya gave him a look that clearly stated it was beneath him to answer and walked outside.

"I didn't know you needed something called a 'tent' and a 'sleeping bag'." Renji said from his spot next to Rukia, completely ignoring Ichigo. "And what are these things called 'matches' for?"

Slapping his forehead, Ichigo groaned. "This is going to be the camping trip from hell, I just know it."

Suddenly his front door opened up again and Chad, Inoue and Ishida walked in.

"Oh Renji, you're here too." Inoue said as she walked over to the table. "I didn't know you and Byakuya were coming with us."

"Neither did I." Ichigo muttered under his breath. "Of course I didn't know Ishida was coming either."

"We ran into him on the way here and Inoue insisted we invite him." Chad said from his position near the door.

"Whatever." Ichigo said as he grabbed his bag. "Come on, let's get going." Walking outside, he headed towards the driver's seat of the van they'd rented for the trip and threw his bag in the back. Unfortunately, it managed to hit Byakuya in the face. "…uh, sorry." Ichigo said with a gulp as he reached for the door handle.

Narrowing his eyes, Byakuya was reaching for his zanpakuto when the side door was thrown open and people began piling in.

"We're sitting back here." Rukia said as she pulled Inoue into the back seat with her.

Meanwhile, Ishida was practically shoved into the seat next to Byakuya and Chad sat down next to him.

Looking at the seating arrangements, Ichigo was suddenly 'very' glad he was driving on this trip. At least until Renji climbed into the passenger seat.

"This is great, not only do I get to sit in the front, but apparently that makes me the 'navigator'." Renji said happily. "So, uh…what exactly does that mean?"

Groaning, Ichigo dropped his head to the steering wheel. "Here." He said as he handed over a stack of papers. "The top sheet is the directions, my dad wrote them so be careful, and the packet is called a map. You use the directions to find the best route on the map and then tell me where to go."

Looking at the papers in his hand, Renji smirked. "So I get to be your boss and give you orders. Cool, let's get going!"

Eyebrow twitching, Ichigo started up the van and checked to make sure everyone was ready before pulling up to the street and stopping.

When the van didn't move for over a minute, Renji hit the dashboard with his hand. "As your boss I demand you drive, now." Flames began to erupt behind Ichigo and Renji paled slightly.

"Well, boss, I'll drive as soon as you get off your ass and tell me where we're going!" Ichigo practically screamed.

All conversation in the van ceased as five pairs of eyes suddenly focused on the two in the front seat.

Then Byakuya, Rukia and Inoue all began talking at once.

"You're not nearly strong enough to be his boss, cease your pathetic illusions."

"Would you two idiots get your asses in gear! We're wasting time!"

"Is everything ok?"

"Alright, shut up! We're leaving now!" Ichigo yelled. "Renji, which way?"

Renji, who was currently cowering in his seat, just pointed to the left.

Nodding, Ichigo pulled onto the street and they headed out.

ooooo

"Why aren't we there yet?" Ichigo asked out loud. "I don't remember it being this far away." Glancing over at his navigator, Ichigo rolled his eyes when he saw him dozing off. Grabbing the map from Renji's hands, he promptly whacked the tattooed man upside the head with it. "Wake the hell up!"

Renji's eyes flew open and he shot up, forgetting he was currently sitting in a car, and hit his head on the windshield. "What the hell was that for?!" He cried as he nursed his now bruised head.

"No falling asleep on the job." Ichigo retorted as he tossed the map back into Renji's lap. "Now, where the hell are we?"

Looking at the map, Renji shrugged. "No clue." He replied. "I don't know how to read these things."

Ichigo froze as the information sunk in. "YOU WHAT?!" He screamed. "You mean all this time I've been following directions that you made up?"

Backing as far away from the substitute shinigami as possible, Renji gulped. "More like guessed, but yeah." He said quietly. Renji didn't have any time to react as Ichigo flew across the seat at him. The van began to swerve as Ichigo proceeded to strangle the man beside him.

"I'm going to kill you!" Ichigo roared as his gripped tightened. But before he could finish Renji off, he was hit upside the head with the hilt of a zanpakuto. "Who the hell just did that?!" He asked, turning his head towards the back of the car.

"I did." Rukia said. "And I'll do it again if you don't turn around and start driving. You're going to kill us all."

Ichigo's eyes widened as he quickly sat back in his seat and regained control of the vehicle. Taking a deep breath, he pulled off to the side of the road and killed the engine. "Now, where was I." He said as his eyes narrowed and he faced Renji once again.

Renji gulped, but before Ichigo could commence his murder, Byakuya spoke up. "As fascinating as it is to watch you two idiots make fools of yourselves, perhaps we should continue if we ever wish to arrive at the…" He paused, searching for the right word. "…campsite."

"As much as I hate to agree with a shinigami, he's right." Ishida said from his place in the back. "We don't want to spend our entire trip in the car."

"Whatever." Ichigo said as he pulled the map in front of him. "Now let's see, we're here so we need to head down I-192…" He muttered to himself as he tried to figure out a route. Finally, after several minutes, Ichigo tossed the map at Renji and started back up the van. "Alright, I know where I'm going now." He said as he pulled back out onto the road.