Chapter Eight
"Why didn't you stop him?"
"Oh, Gee, Jack, I dunno – maybe 'cos he'd already done it by the time Patrick got here. Sorry I couldn't see into the future," Mike said sarcastically in reply to Jack's question about why he didn't stop Travis from attacking Patrick. "But I bailed him out."
"Thanks."
"Glad you thanked me at least. He was quite happy to rot in jail."
"You're joking. Travis? He's more homophobic than me."
Which, Mike knew, was extremely homophobic. Jack tended to disguise the fact he hated going to sports games as cultural snobbishness. "He doesn't care about anything anymore, Jack. All he wanted was to see Patrick left, now he's got that, he doesn't care. Actually, scratch that. He cares about you. Idolises you, in fact. He only let me bail him out after I pointed out that you'd be furious enough when you found out he'd gone after Patrick himself, let alone that he refused to be bailed out."
Jack raked his fingers through his hair. He should have known better than to expect Travis to stay out of trouble. Actually, he wouldn't have put it past Travis to wait until Jack was on his honeymoon to go after Patrick himself. "I'll talk to him," he said.
"Jack, I don't think it's going to make a difference. He's dying. He may even die before they can get him to court." Which, they both knew, could be a good thing. Travis's health was in no state to be in jail, and the experience would be so traumatic for him. And of course it was ironic that if Travis hadn't been dying, he wouldn't have been desperate enough to go after Patrick himself, and he wouldn't be looking at jail right now.
"Whatever. I'm still going to talk to him."
On his way to the ED, he was so distracted that he wasn't looking and ran straight into someone. "Ooof, sorry," he said, bringing his arm around her waist to steady her.
"Thanks," she said. She looked up at him. "Oooh, I know you!" she said. "You were in The Scene," she added when she saw the look of confusion on his face.
"That would be me," he said drily. What had started as a means to piss Bianca Frost off and get his name noticed by senior surgeons had ended with a degree of fame that he didn't particularly like.
"You don't like being well-known?" she asked. "That's unusual for a surgeon."
"I'm not like most surgeons. I would be quite happy to go home to my wife."
"Gabrielle, right?" Jack nodded. "She's my boss, I think. I've been working in the ED while she was away. I don't know if I'm still needed."
"That depends. What do you think of Frank Campion?"
"He's a good doctor. An excellent doctor, actually. Can be a bit cranky sometimes but not nearly as bad as everyone said."
Jack laughed at that. It was as good an assessment of Frank as any other. "If you get on OK with Frank, then I'll sure there's a job for you. Gabby's always after good nurses who can get along with Frank. Actually, that's how she got her position in the first place. The only person who was willing to take on the position was a twenty-four-year-old from a small country hospital with no official administrative duties."
"Official?"
"I know her from way back, met her in the tiny town she comes from, actually – it's just this side of the Victorian border. She pretty much ran the nursing staff, it just wasn't on the books."
She made a face in confusion. "Twenty-four? But she would have only finished nursing school – "
"At twenty-one yeah. It was a combination of hospitals like that just being so short-staffed and her being very good at her job. It was what attracted me to her. I was never interested in dating someone younger than me until I met her. She's very mature for her age."
"You sound like you think the world of her."
"I wouldn't have married her if I wasn't. But you have me at a disadvantage," Jack said. "You seem to know a lot about me and I don't even know you're name."
"It's Rachel. Rachel Simms."
"Well, Rachel Simms, since you seem to be heading in the same direction as me, I'll introduce you to Gabrielle myself."
Jack walked Rachel to the ED and was just about to introduce her to Gabrielle when a security officer interrupted them. "Doctor Quade, Nurse Quade," he directed them. "We have a slight problem."
Jack frowned. In his tumultuous life, 'small problem' was rarely a good thing. "What kind of 'small problem'?" he asked.
"We have a woman trying to see your daughter, claiming she's an old friend, but she wouldn't give her name." The security officer gestured to another officer, who was holding a woman who Jack guessed to be in her early-to-mid thirties by the arm. The woman was scowling and looked somewhat unkempt. "Do you know her?" the guard asked.
Jack curled up his lip in disgust. She was certainly no-one that he knew. Even his father had better taste than that. In fact, even Travis, as sick as he was, looked better than this woman. Skin that had that leathery look from far too much time in the sun, hair that looked like it hadn't had a decent treatment since the start of the decade and a sullen expression that belied her thirtysomething years. "No idea," Jack said. Gabrielle nodded her concurrence.
"She says she knows you –" the guard nodded at Gabrielle " – from way back."
Gabrielle smirked at that. "Then clearly she didn't do her research, because I lived in a very small town until I came to Sydney two years ago. I knew everyone and I don't – " Something made her stop and stare at the woman a little closer. No wonder she hadn't recognised her. Wherever she had been, she hadn't had access to even the beauty facilities that were available in Widgee, because her once-overdone-platinum hair was limp with at least two inches of regrowth. And she had always loved a tan, but two years had aged her ten. And clearly she had no-one to impress, because she had put on a good ten kilograms. If Gabrielle wasn't so furious to find her here, trying to get to Laura, she would have felt sorry for her former rival. "Ashley," she said through clenched teeth. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Ashley glowered at Gabrielle. Despite the drab uniform she was in, the woman looked radiant. Well, I'd be radiant too, if I had a hunky surgeon for a husband, she thought bitterly. She noticed the way Jack, standing slightly behind her, threaded fingers on his ring hand through hers in such a way that both rings were obviously on display. That's quite a rock. "I hear you got married," she said, her voice poisonously sweet. "I must have missed my invitation."
Jack was set to step forward, but Gabrielle squeezed his hand tightly in restraint. "You're not welcome here, Ashley," she said. She looked Ashley over in more detail this time. The woman had really come down in the world. Hers had always been a trashy, overdone beauty – if you could call it that – rather than a classy one, but she had lost even that. Gabrielle wondered if she and Steve were together; the last Julia had heard of them, they had left town together. Gabrielle found herself not caring, beyond being angry that Ashley dare try and lay a hand on her daughter.
Ashley glared even more hatefully at Gabrielle. I'm not welcome here? She didn't even want to come to Sydney when I did. I deserve it more then she does. Seeing the life Gabrielle lived with her own eyes, in such an important, major hospital, seeing Jack in the flesh – even better-looking then she remembered, even better-looking than the magazine pictures showed – made her jealousy bubble over even more. It wasn't fair! And now she had been hauled down to the ED like some common criminal for wanting to see the little girl that she and Steve had just as good a claim to as Jack and Gabrielle. "We have just as good a claim to her as you do," she spat.
She had meant to put fear in Gabrielle's heart, but instead, she sparked Jack's fury. Abandoning Gabrielle's hand, he lunged towards Ashley. "You say that again and I will rip out your fucking heart – that is, if you had one in the first place," he snarled, his eyes flashing with such hatred that Ashley blanched and for half a second, she was glad he had chosen Gabrielle if he had this kind of temper. Then he remembered that he was displaying it on Gabrielle's behalf, and that just made her even more resentful.
"You won't be so high-and-mighty after a full blood test," she challenged recklessly.
She started to gasp for air as Jack's hand closed around her throat. Gabrielle screamed out for him to stop, that she wasn't worth it, and after a few seconds he released his grip, grabbing her arm instead, hard enough to leave a nasty bruise the next day. Jack didn't look at her; instead, he fired directions at the guards. "Get her the fuck off hospital grounds," he said. "I don't want to see her again even if she has multi fucking organ failure." And while everyone knew that he couldn't exactly stop any ambulance from bringing in someone in such a state, in that moment, some people thought that maybe he could.
"You'll regret this!" Ashley screamed at him. "Everyone knows you're just her step-father."
"Which is a damn sight more than you'll ever be," Jack yelled back, although he took no delight in realising he'd hit a nerve. Ashley was unmarried. Clearly, Steve had either lost interest in her or didn't respect her enough to marry more. Probably a bit of both. He tried not to be embarrassed about Ashley's outburst. In one thing, she was right; it was common, if unspoken, knowledge that he wasn't Laura's biological father, which put him in a weird no-man's land between father and step-father. It was just that he hated to be reminded of it, let alone have it thrown in his face like that, let alone in front of so many people that he worked with, for Christ sake's.
Well, he wouldn't worry about that now. He turned to Gabrielle. "I'm just about done, why don't I pick up Laura and wait for you?" He still had a few hours to go but had no intention of leaving Laura up in the crèche without either he or Gabrielle keeping an eye out on her.
"You sure? I'll be a while."
"It's alright, I have a book."
"You mean a doorstop," she teased. He poked his tongue out at her. They were back to the playful banter that characterised their relationship.
He picked Laura up and took her to the tea-room of the ED. Rachel took her break to find him watching Laura and not paying much attention to his book – as, Gabrielle had said, a doorstop. "What did she mean – about having as good a claim to her – and you being her step-father?" Rachel asked, then she realised what a personal question it was. "Sorry, it's none of my business."
"It's OK. Most people know the story anyway – or parts of it." And he found himself telling her about his history with Gabrielle, right back to the day he had first met her three years ago. He didn't mention Steve by name, but he found Rachel easy to talk to and didn't leave much out. Well, his abuse, but not much else. "I never thought we'd hear from either of them again. They're hardly the type to want kids. I don't think Ashley has any interest in Laura for her own self, but because she symbolises everything she wants that Gabrielle has."
"Do you think that his guy – "
"Will ever come back? I doubt it. And what's he going to do if he does? Admit that he put my name on her birth certificate when he knew full well that he was the father – or at least he knew that there was a possibility. I know the kind of man he is. He didn't want anything to do with Laura then, and I doubt he'll ever change. God knows, my dad never did and he at least paid child support for eighteen months. Besides," Jack said with a rueful laugh, "the last time we met, I broke his nose. I doubt he'll be back for seconds anytime soon."
"You stupid bloody idiot!" Steve raged at Ashley in their dingy motel room. "What did you think they were going to do, just hand Laura over to someone who looked like you?" He eyed Ashley critically. She hadn't had her hair treated in God knew when – Steve didn't understand why she didn't just let it go back to her mousy brown. Sure, it wasn't as flashy as the platinum blond she preferred, but it was a sight classier than faded platinum with several inches of mousy brown roots. And her skin – she had always loved to tan, and it was starting to show. She was twenty-six, and looked years older. She looked as old as him, really. He thought about the pictures he'd seen of Gabrielle in that magazine. She definitely had a matronly, authoritive look about her – she always had, and having Laura and taking up such a position of authority and responsibility, she had it more so – but still had the glow of youth about her. No-one would mistake her for being under thirty, which was a mistake that could easily be made with Ashley.
Ashley glared sullenly at Steve. Now that they were in Sydney, a city she had dreamed of visiting – no, living in – since as long as she could remember, the reality was a far cry from her fantasy. This cheap motel was nothing on the beachside mansion she had dreamed of, and unemployment benefits could hardly support the lifestyle she had fancied herself living. And Steve – well, what could be said about Steve that hadn't already been said before?
She considered it entirely her own doing that they were in Sydney; she wasn't to know that Steve had been more cut than he would ever admit to himself, let alone Ashley, over Gabrielle's marriage and the knowledge that Laura was the only child he would ever have. Ashley hadn't been lying when she said she couldn't have children; while they would continue to place the blame on each other for the Chlamydia, the upshot was that neither of them would have any more children.
This had made Ashley particularly bitter. Not that she had ever had an inclination towards children – she had no maternal instinct in her singularly selfish body, with nursing being a thoroughly unsuitable career for her to go into – but she had always felt she had the right to choose. Now she had no right. No-one to follow her in the world and continue her genes, the only real shot at immortality anyone really has. At least Steve, she often thought bitterly, had Laura, for all that he had spent the first two years of her life pretending Laura didn't exist and feeling pleased that he had so patly foisted her onto another man. Steve, however, was more reflective. Like Ashley, he had never had an inclination towards children – like Ashley, too fundamentally selfish without a paternal bone in his body. But knowing that Laura was the only child he had ever had – well, that had made him stop and think, in one of the few sober moments that he had.
Laura would be his only child, and he had given her away, pleased at the time that he had gotten off scot-free with such a blatant lie. Well, not exactly scot-free; Julia Croft had seen him run out of town, hadn't she? And Gabrielle, sweet, caring, doting Gabrielle, had married someone else. The two things he had cherished the most, his job and Gabrielle, were lost to him forever. And the child he had never wanted, the only child he would ever have now, belonged to someone else.
No, she doesn't, Steve reminded himself. Not in blood. Hadn't Gabrielle insisted so many times that Laura could only be his? That the date of her conception was weeks before she had met Jack, and anyway, that Jack had been militant about using a condom? At the time, Steve had been determined not to hear her, but now – Now he knew he had his flesh and blood out there, in genes if not in law, and that Gabrielle was too honest to deny that. Jack could have more children; Steve couldn't. That gave him greater rights to Laura, as far as he was concerned.
And so he had allowed Ashley to nag him into coming to Sydney. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do, except he knew it wouldn't be going to the crèche and attempting to see Laura. Did Ashley really think the staff were just going to hand her over to someone they didn't know? Especially with both parents (at least as far as the law was concerned) on staff? Especially when she looked like a worn-out tramp. Which, Steve thought harshly, wasn't that far off from what she actually was.
"We have just as much claim to her as they do," Ashley said sullenly, repeating her argument.
"No, we don't," Steve said through gritted teeth. He had been over this before, only Ashley seemed determined to believe her own version of the truth. "Even if Jack was only her step-father – and I'm talking in the eyes of the law, sweetheart, not DNA, d'you think you can get that through your thick skull this time – that puts him above you. And How many courts do you think there are who will say we have just as much standing in the community as we do?"
Ashley just glared sullenly. She was well aware that Gabrielle had more standing in the community then she did. She was aware of it every second of every day. And she was well aware that Steve had no intention of ever marrying her – not even if it gave him a better claim on Laura. "Then what are you going to do?" she asked.
"I don't know. But it's got to be better then your stupid plan."
He settled down with a microwave dinner and a bottle of scotch and leafed through the employment pages. Nothing caught his attention, not that he had much interest in working in a major hospital with a bunch of surgical snobs who thought they were so much better than a mere country physician. And then it leaped out at him. An Emergency Registrar required for All Saints Western General. Vaguely, Steve recalled that the hospital had lost an ED physician a few months ago – hit and run accident, he believed. It had only even registered on his radar because he knew Gabrielle was the NUM at that ED.
Now it seemed to be a godsend. Minus the part about the guy dying, of course. But he was dead now, he wasn't likely to care, and this was a golden opportunity.
He put his glass down. He needed to sober up and polish up his résumé.
Jack didn't bother to brush back the tears. He knew Travis was on death's door, knew he should let him go quietly, but he was the only person who had ever truly understood what he had gone through with Patrick. Not even Gabrielle, who loved him and who had some idea of what it was like to be in an abusive relationship, would ever understand him the way Travis did. Travis was like the brother he had never had.
And now he was dying and Jack was struggling to let him go. Every bit of professionalism rallied to tell him what was the right thing to do; that pressuring Travis to cling on was selfish, that the guy was in a lot of pain with poor quality of life and that he had the right to go; but his emotions got the better of his professionalism and he wept for the only person who had ever truly understood him; a man who had been robbed of so much that simply seeing Jack, Gabrielle and Laura together were the best things that had ever happened to him.
"Hey," Travis said gently, and his voice was void of the bitterness and anger that had inflected it for as long as Jack had known him. He had killed Patrick, stopped him from doing to anyone else who he had done to him and Jack and God knew who else, and if there was a higher power out there, Travis knew that They weren't going to judge him for it. His whole life had been full of one kind of pain or another, and now he just felt at peace. "It's OK." In a motion that neither homophobic man would have allowed in any other circumstances, he reached up to touch Jack's cheek, feeling a mixture of guilt that Jack was crying over him and awe that he actually meant enough to someone that they would cry over him. "I want to ask you a favour."
"Anything."
"Gabrielle's pregnant, isn't she?" Jack looked surprised, and Travis smiled at that. Being at peace over Patrick's death and his own impending death had made him see things a lot clearly, notice details that he had been too self absorbed and full of hate to notice before, and one of them was that Jack's happiness, which he had been desperately trying to hide in the same way he had tried to hide his happiness in light of Zoe's loss, stemmed from more than simply being a newlywed."If it's a boy – " Travis struggled to breathe, hating his failing body for not being able to get the words out. "If it's a boy –" he tried again.
Jack understood what he was trying to say. Travis wanted to know that someday he would have a namesake out there who would be protected by parents as ferocious as lions. It was more than he had ever had, and the closest he would ever have to immortality. "Of course," he said, wishing he had thought of it before. "And I'll make sure he knows what an amazing person you were. I'll make something up if I have to," he added.
Travis laughed softly, for all the effort that it took to do so. "Stay with me," he asked, not needing to add the words, to the death.
"Of course," Jack said. To the death.
Later that night, in the sanctuary of his home, Jack curled up against Gabrielle, her back pressed against his chest, his hands against her still-flat stomach, feeling a contour that may or may not exist solely in his imagination. It hadn't taken long for her to become pregnant, which hadn't exactly surprised him. It had taken even less with Charlotte. Knowing his baby was growing inside her – he made no distinction between Laura and this baby, Laura was no less 'his' because of it, no matter what people might say, but he had never known Laura until she was six months old and had missed her pregnancy and early months – brought him a peace that nothing else in his life had. But it had also made him realise how little Travis had in his life and he wanted to remember him. The only problem, in his mind, was running it past Gabrielle, who no doubt had her heart set on naming any sons they had after her dad or brother. He knew he would certainly be a little put out if Gabrielle had wanted to name their second daughter after someone she had only known for a few months when he already had his heart set on Rebecca. "Babe, I was thinking. I mean, it's something Travis asked me."
"I thought of that a while ago, Jack," Gabrielle, a little surprised that Jack himself hadn't thought of it. But then, Jack had been reluctant to admit, even in the fact of overwhelming medical evidence, that Travis was dying, and was going to die after a life, short as it had been, filled with pain and neglect, so it was really no wonder that he hadn't thought of it. To think about something like that was to acknowledge that Travis would never have children of his own.
Jack knew by this point he shouldn't be surprised that Gabrielle knew what was best for him longer before he knew it for himself – after all, hadn't he often been the same when it came to what was best for her? – but still... "You have?" he asked.
"Yeah. I spoke to him a few times when you weren't there. He was never that comfortable around me, poor guy, but it was so obvious how much it meant to him that you were happy. I think knowing that meant more to him then knowing Patrick couldn't hurt anyone anymore."
"Could fooled me," Jack said gruffly, feigning disbelief in this sentient so he could hide how touched he was knowing Travis felt like that.
Yeah, right, Gabrielle thought. She knew Travis meant far more to Jack than he would ever admit. He wanted to name their son after him, didn't he? "Well, he did," he said. "And I know he meant a lot to you to. I figured you'd want to name our son after him – if we have one," she added playfully. Thankgod Jack wasn't one of those men who put so much stock in having a son. A man who put so much stock in a daughter who wasn't even his wasn't likely to care what gender his kids were. Although it would be kind of a hoot to see how Ned reacted should he be 'blessed' with a legitimate grandson.
"Won't your dad and Ben be upset?"
"I'll deal with them. I'll tell then it's one of your brother's names. It's not like we ever see them for them to know it's a lie."
Jack chuckled at that. His sweet, insightful Gabrielle who sometimes seemed several paces ahead of him when it came to his own mind. "I love you," he whispered, and he held her tighter.
"What?" Jack asked suspiciously when Rachel had given up all pretence of eating her lunch and was just watching him and Laura – or, rather, him while he was reading to Laura.
"I was just thinking I thought men like you were works of fiction," Rachel mused. Part of her wished he hadn't noticed her watching him, because she was enjoying his version of A Little Princess much more than the one her mother had read to her. All in all, she quite enjoying the occasions when she was in the tea-room at the same time as Jack was there, either on a break or waiting for Gabrielle. Watching him dote on Laura was enchanting. Especially when he did it while reading a doorstop of a book at the same time. Paternal and smart. If he wasn't married and so obviously, disgustingly in love, she would be falling for him herself. "You must get loads of women coming onto you."
Jack made a face. "More than I would have thought possible. I swear, women seem to be more interested in me since I got married."
Rachel had to laugh at that. For all that he had so obviously led a tough life, Jack could be amazingly naive at times. It simply didn't occur to him why women might want a good-looking, devoted family man, to hell with whatever promises he had made to someone else. But then, maybe it was that tough life that had made him such a devoted family man. She'd picked up from him to know that his father had cheated a lot, so he had to have seen what kind of heartache that led to.
An alarm went off and moments later, Zoe rushed in. "Look, Jack, I know you're not even on duty, but –"
"Can't sorry," Jack said abruptly. He was well aware that since Sean had died, the ED had struggled with all the demands that their patients put on them, but while Laura was under his watch, the whole ED could go under for all he cared. He felt for Zoe and the position she was in, trying to juggle an understaffed ED as well as her own grief, but his daughter was more important to him.
"I'll watch her," Rachel offered. Jack looked at her suspiciously. "I'm a registered nurse, Jack, I think I can keep an eye on a baby."
Jack contemplated it for a few seconds. "Alright," he said, and grudgingly handed Laura over as if Rachel was an inexperienced teenage baby-sitter and not an RN that his own wife regarded highly. "Whatever happened to that new registrar you were supposed to get?" he asked as he followed Zoe to the most pressing emergency, a man who had embedded himself on a chainsaw. "I saw a massive stack of résumés on Frank's desk."
Zoe made a face that disguised her wry smile; she was used to Jack calling it Frank's desk when something went wrong and her desk when things ran smoothly. Which, truth be told, was fairly close to the truth. "He hasn't found anyone he likes."
"One of them went to Harvard."
"Yes, but Bart didn't," she said dryly, which was really the crux of the problem. There was no money in the budget – in part thanks to her own promotion, she was well aware – to take on a new resident once Bart finished his internship. You'd think Oliver Marone would be happy to let them hire a resident instead of a registrar – cheaper – but apparently not. And naturally, just to make her already-understaffed day worse, Frank was ensconced with Bart, having him sit in on interview after interview so he would get a taste for what it was like.
Damnit, she wished he would just hire someone and get it over with. He was holding onto his precious Bart tighter than she was her memories of Sean. You'd think if she could get over that enough to see the necessity of hiring a new registrar, he could, too.
Back in the tea-room, Rachel was too preoccupied with Laura to notice the door opening. Besides, the staff came in and out all the time, for breaks, at the beginning and end of their shifts, to grab a coffee in a comparatively quiet moment. So she didn't pay any attention until she heard a deep male voice ask, "Any chance I could grab a cup of tea?"
She looked up to see a very good-looking man standing in the doorway, albeit one who had to be in his mid-thirties. Dark good-looks, solid frame, just enough stubble to be sexy without looking scruffy. Way too old for her, but that didn't mean a girl couldn't look. "Right over there," she said. "Are you a locum?" she asked, judging for his free dress that he wasn't a nurse – besides, it would be a shame to put such a man in a nurse's uniform – and he knew all the doctors who worked in the ED permanently, as well as the specialists who frequented here by dint of the fact they could stand Frank better than others.
"With any luck, no. I'm here for the registrar's position," he said, flashing a sexy smile.
"Good luck with that," Rachel said with a wry smile. "The boss has his heart set on his protégé now that he's almost finished his internship, but there's no money in the budget for a resident and a registrar. He's already worked his way through a stack of résumés as thick as the white pages."
The indomitable Frank Campion, Steve thought. While he had never had an interest of working in a city, it hadn't taken much research to learn that Frank was equal parts brilliant physician, bully and tyrant. Well, he had run into plenty of those in his life. He was more interested in how Gabrielle would react to seeing him here. If she was so happy, surely she wouldn't be that upset to see him? It had been so long ago, and he hadn't hurt her that badly, had he? His memory was a bit foggy on that. At any rate, she had certainly moved up in the world, and she couldn't exactly begrudge him a job, could she?
Besides, that wasn't his primary reason for coming.
He spied the child in Rachel's lap and knew instantly that this was Laura. God knew, he had pored over her picture in The Scene enough times, though she looked a fair bit older here. Well, that would make sense. Her last appearance had been more than six months ago, and Laura was at an age where even a month could make a big difference in her growth. "Your daughter?" he asked, knowing full well that she wasn't.
Rachel laughed. "I wish," she said. "Nope, she belongs to the most disgustingly in love couple I know. You just missed her father, actually. He was waiting for his wife to finish but they needed him. I'm Rachel, by the way."
"Steve. Steve Taylor." He sat down besides Rachel and, with a suitable show of tentativeness, stroked Laura's blond hair, adorned with pink ribbons. Laura was at an age where she was less cautious about strangers and more interested in new things, and she smiled at Steve, her green eyes flashing. You're going to be a beauty, just like your grandmother, Steve thought. "What a beautiful child," he murmured.
"You should see her aunt – Jack's dad," Rachel said, although she knew full well that Rebecca wasn't Laura's biological aunt. "Blond hair, green eyes, this all-Australian Jennifer Hawkins gorgeousness. I reckon she's going to grow up exactly the same."
Steve felt a pang in his chest. He was well aware that Rebecca's blond was a green-eyed blond – he had said to all and sundry that Laura clearly took after the woman – and it was really no wonder that people assumed that Laura got her looks from Rebecca. And it pained him more than he cared to admit that Laura looked nothing like him, from her fair skin to her blond hair to her green eyes. He would have loved a boy to follow after him. A tall, dark, strapping-boy who loved to play football and bond with his old man down at the pub at the end of the day.
"Beautiful," he said again.
Rachel mistook the note of regret in Steve's voice – naturally, as she had no idea who she was. "You got any kids of your own?" she asked.
"Nope. Never found the right woman." Well, actually, I did, and I was too busy drinking to appreciate her. What was it Rachel had said? That they were disgustingly in love? He might not be able to win Gabrielle back, but he had to have some right to his daughter – the only child he had ever had.
In the last two weeks, he had sobered up as much as he could – which meant down to half a bottle of scotch each day – and he still scrubbed up quite well, despite the fact he was heading towards forty and not as fit as he used to be. He knew he still cut a good figure, and regardless of the reason, his long list of jobs in remote regions looked impressive, like he was a man who cared more for helping people in remote areas than the glory which came with a more prestigious position. And a long time ago, he had gotten very good marks in medical school. Not quite the grades that AUMEL prat Gabrielle had married, to be sure, but nothing to be sniffed at, either. He hadn't been all that surprised when Zoe Gallagher had called him to arrange an interview.
So here he was, in the same room as his daughter, with nothing but a slip of a nurse in between them. For a second, he considered snatching Laura and running, then decided against it. As Ashley had discovered to her detriment, Laura Jaeger – Quade, now – was one of the most beloved of the staff's children in the entire hospital. The staff, doctors, orderlies and security alike, were hardly going to let him just run off with her.
Fate intervened and Zoe poked her head around the door. "Rachel, Gabrielle needs you," she said. She looked directly at Steve. "You must be Doctor Taylor," she said, taking a few steps towards him and shaking his hand briefly. "I'm Zoe Gallagher, I'm the one you spoke to."
"Please to meet you," Steve said smartly, with just the right amount of subservience.
"Look, I'm sorry, I know you have an interview but it's chaos right now. If you'd like to go and get a coffee or something...?" she suggested hopefully. She turned to Rachel. "Gabrielle really needs you," she said, giving an unspoken apology for having to cut her lunch break short.
"Not unless you want to give Jack back," Rachel said apologetically. "I told him I'd watch Laura."
"I can do that," Steve offered, careful not to look to eager – just eager enough as to appear he wanted to help.
Zoe looked doubtful. "I don't think so, Jack and Gabrielle are quite protective of her." She thought for a second. Between the two of them, Jack was needed more than Rachel and she decided Rachel could stay put.
She was about to say so when Steve interjected. "It's really no trouble. What do you think I'm going to do, run off with the kid?" he asked, smiling charmingly while knowing full well that this was exactly what Jack and Gabrielle were worried about since Ashley had showed up trying to get access to Laura. Stupid girl, Steve thought again angrily. Surely Ashley should have known that he at least had a wedge he could use against Gabrielle and Jack whereas Ashley had no status at all.
Zoe paused for a few seconds, then decided that of the two evils, it was better to have Steve watch over Laura then leave Rachel when she was needed or call Jack back when he was needed even more. Steve had a point; it wasn't like he was going to run off with Laura, and besides, she was so well-known to all the staff that she would be immediately recognised. And besides, this wasn't that trashy, bitter woman that Gabrielle had known again; this was a doctor with an impressive résumé who had a confirmed interview for a position here. "OK," she said cautiously. "But don't go anywhere. Jack and Gabrielle will flip out if they come in and find Laura's not here." And with that, she and Rachel left, closing the door behind them, leaving Steve alone with Laura.
Laura. His daughter. Steve looked at the adorable two-year-old with wonder. While he would have preferred a son to carry on his name, a man couldn't help but be proud of such an exquisite creature that he could call his own. He knew he didn't have much time – knew it was a matter of minutes, or even seconds, before Zoe or Rachel mentioned to either Gabrielle or Jack that they had left Laura with the would-be interviewee, Steve Taylor – they wouldn't even have to mention his last name, his first would be enough to get their interest piqued – and it would be all over.
He picked up the little girl and she looked at him with interest, smiled, and reached out her small fist to touch his stubble. Steve took this as a sign of interest, not from a small child's inquisitiveness but out of some kind of bond between them. He was, after all, her father, and she was the only child that he would ever have. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. He asked it rhetorically, sure that Laura lacked the intelligence and awareness to understand what he had just said, so he was surprised when she shook her head in a cute, tiny-girl way. "I'm your father," he said proudly. "Your real father."
Laura looked at him in confusion, then her face scrunched up in an expression of distress and almost immediately, she started to wail. "DADDY!" she screamed. "DADDYDADDYDADDY!"
Steve tried to make her be quiet, tried to hush her with soothing words and even put his hand over her, but Laura just screamed louder. Within seconds Jack stormed through the doors and recognised Steve immediately. He snatched Laura from Steve arms and looked as if he would break the older man's nose again if it didn't require having to put Laura down in order to do it. Laura immediately wrapped her little arms around Jack's neck as far as they would go and the same with her legs around his waist – although more around his ribs – burying her little face in his shoulder, sobbing loudly, terrified. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.
Zoe raced in after him. "Jack, I'm sorry, it seemed like the best thing to do. I needed Rachel and – " she stopped dead, looking at the two men in confusion. There was an ugly look of hatred of Jack's face. Steve wasn't a stranger to him. "What's going on?" she asked Jack. She looked suspiciously at Steve. There was clearly a history between them, and an unpleasant one at that. Had Steve Taylor engineered an interview so he could be close to Jack – and Laura? Coming so fast on the heels of that friend – no, not friend – of Gabrielle's showing up, it seemed to co-incidental to be co-incidence. With the quick-thinking that had seen her rise so quickly through the ranks of the medical community, she realised who Steve Taylor was. Steve, the man who had ruined Gabrielle's life and walked away without a second thought as to what would have happened to her if Jack hadn't been there to pick up the pieces. Steve, who hadn't given a crap that Laura would be fatherless. Laura, who through no effort of Steve's – in fact, despite his best efforts to the contrary – now had a happy family with a brother or sister on the way.
"I suggest," she said coolly, the anger and authority in her voice making her seem considerable bigger than she was, taking in for the first time that his nose was on a crooked angle, like it had been broken badly and hadn't been set properly, "that if you are who you think you are, then you get the hell out of the hospital before I take Laura from Jack and free him to break your nose again." For a second Steve glared at Zoe, thinking that she was the city version of that uppity bitch Julia Croft.
Just then, Gabrielle came in. She'd heard Laura scream at the same time as Jack, but Jack had been far freer then she had been to dash to the tea-room, as she had been applying pressure on someone's wound, preventing them from bleeding out. She grasped the frame of the door when she saw Steve, shocked almost out of her mind. "Steve?" she asked dumbly. Steve, who had slept with her best friend and God knew who else. Steve, who had given her Chlamydia, gotten her pregnant and told anyone who would listen that she was a slut and that there was no way it was his. Steve, who had tried to beat her into a miscarriage, then butchered her out of a combination of drunkenness and spite and refused to put a cent towards Laura's welfare. Steve, who had ruined her life because of his own selfishness and refusal to acknowledge his responsibilities.
Steve was fortunate that Jack's attention was diverted to Gabrielle, who looked like she was about to pass out. "Jack," Zoe said quietly, holding out her arms slightly for Laura. Jack handed her over and in a flash had scooted around behind Gabrielle, his arms around her waist, supporting her both physically and emotionally.
Zoe looked directly at Steve, and although Steve was a good fifteen centimetres taller and thirty kilograms heavier, she had a strength and authority in her posture and voice that Steve would never possess. "You have a minute before I call security," she told him simply.
Steve ignored her. "I came to see my daughter," he told Jack, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He had noticed immediately that Gabrielle was pregnant. Well, Quade had his own kid now – or would, in a few month's time – he could relinquish his claim on Laura. If he wanted to get in a fight over it, well, they both knew the value of DNA.
"Fuck you," Jack snarled, looking every inch the lioness over its cub that Travis had thought of him as. He turned to Zoe. "Can you please take Laura and Gabrielle to your office?" he asked quietly, the tone her used for her much more civilised than the one he had used for Steve. Zoe was only too happy to take Laura off him again and lead Gabrielle into the office they shared. If this was going to be a turf war between two alpha-males, Zoe wanted no part in it. Although she didn't think much of Steve's chances. Steve might be an alpha male, but Jack was like a lion or brown bear when it came to Laura.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jack snarled at him when Zoe and Gabrielle were gone. Dear God, Steve couldn't possibly trying to be claiming Laura after all this time? The thought was as much a kick in the guts as if Steve was trying to claim any biological children that he might have.
"I thought it was obvious," Steve drawled, pleased that he had Jack on the defensive.
"You touch Laura again, you come anywhere near us or this hospital and I swear to God I will break your fucking neck so it matches your nose," Jack said. "Which, by the way, looks like you had a bad surgeon fix it up," he couldn't resist adding.
Steve scowled at that. He had thought so himself, but he hadn't been in a position to ask for a better physician, let alone a surgeon; doctors weren't exactly a dime a dozen where he came from. "I have rights," he insisted.
"Rights?" Jack repeated incredulously. "I think you forfeited any rights when you tried to beat her into a miscarriage. Or how about when you put my name in the birth certificate? I suppose that's one good thing you did by that." Although Jack wasn't sure how much credit Steve got for selfish actions that had just happened to work out well for him and Gabrielle.
Steve squirmed. He didn't like to be reminded of what he had done. It had seemed so important at the time when he'd been drunk and had the rest of his life ahead of him to have children when he was ready, but now... "Please," he said, the word sounded awkward on his tongue. Steve wasn't used to pleading, or being humble. "I – can't – have – children," he admitted. "Chlamydia."
"I know. You gave it to Gabrielle, remember?"
"Ashley gave it to me," he insisted, although there was no way of proving that. God knew, Ashley hadn't been the only one.
"I don't care and I can't believe I'm still talking to you. Get the fuck out."
"Jack, please. Gabrielle's pregnant, yeah?" Jack's eyes flashed dangerously, as if Gabrielle's pregnancy was a sacrilege that Steve was not allowed to talk about. "You – can – have other children. Laura's – it – for me," he said haltingly.
"No, she's not. Laura's mine. You don't come into it."
"I'll fight you on this," Steve promised. It was all Jack could take. He clenched his fist and went to take a swing at Steve. Steve stumbled awkwardly out of Jack's way. "OK, OK," he said. "I'm going. But this isn't the last of it – I promise you that." And with that, Steve stumbled out of the tea-room and out of the ED.
"Frank," Jack said to Frank when he emerged from the ED, "I'm taking Gabrielle home." It was a direction, not a request, regardless of how it was worded. Frank nodded silently. Gabrielle was in no position to work, anyway. Jack retrieved Gabrielle and Laura from the office and lead them both to his car.
"Jack, Gabrielle, wait up!" they heard Zoe call after them as they crossed the staff carpark. "Hey, guys, I have something to give you." Jack reluctantly ceased the fast pace that he was escorting both his 'girls' at to wait for Zoe to catch up. She was a friend and ally, they should hear her out. "Here, this might help," she said, handing them a card. "He's one of the best family lawyers in the state. AUMEL boy like you, Jack," she added.
Jack took the card off her. Peter Hutchinson. He remembered his sister, who was studying law, mentioning him – and she wasn't the least bit interested in family law, so he had to be good. "Thanks," he said. Then the bizarreness of Zoe having such information struck him, and he asked her about it.
"I was trying to find my brother," she admitted. "All I could get was that he'd been adopted. I spent ten thousand dollars to find out that DOCS is pretty reluctant to break up a happy family," she added. Her voice was a combination of sadness and reassurance that whatever Steve was up to, he was unlikely to get far with it.
"Thankyou," Jack said, and impulsively he leaned over to kiss Zoe on the cheek. She had turned out to be a good ally; it was such a shame that for all the heart she had, she had suffered so much loss when it came to her loved ones.
He took Gabrielle home, who insisted that Laura was not to leave her sight. Jack wasn't inclined to argue with her, despite the excellent security system he'd had installed into Gabrielle's house. Steve would have to come in with a bulldozer if he wanted to get in. "What's going to happen Jack?" she asked tearfully later on that evening.
Jack retrieved copies of Laura's birth certificate and his marriage certificate. "See these?" he asked. Gabrielle nodded. "These say that you and Laura are mine, and I'm highly possessive of my things." Ordinarily, Gabrielle would have taken offense to Jack's possessiveness, but now it was exactly the right note to hit. "Besides, you forget how hard the law comes down on people who touch other people's kids. Especially babies. Let's see Steve take on me, DOCS and the family law court."
He waited for Gabrielle to fall asleep, and took Laura out of her crib. The little girl was still wide awake, but silent. He had no idea how much Laura had understood of Steve's proclamation of parenthood, but he had a high regard for her intelligence, and who knew what children picked up when they were very young? "You need to know that you have two dads," he explained as simply as he could. "When you were born, your other dad didn't want you and I wanted you so much that it hurt. So he said I could have you. And now he's changed his mind. But I'm not going to let him have you. You're mine now, and no-one's going to take you away from me."
Following Gabrielle was easy enough, and Steve tracked Gabrielle back to her house a few days later. Gabrielle blanched when she opened the door to see him, then felt relief that Rebecca had taken Laura for the day. "Leave," she told him coldly.
"I want to see Laura," Steve said.
"She's with her aunt."
"You don't have a sister."
"Jack does."
Steve scowled at that. What was it with those two? They both knew Jack wasn't Laura's father; Gabrielle had insisted that enough times when she had first told Steve about her pregnancy. "We all know he's not really her father."
"Yeah? I have a birth certificate that says different," she challenged. "One that you signed."
Steve frowned. Whatever happened to the obliging, compliant Gabrielle that he had loved? "But we all know that's not true in fact," he insisted.
"Really? Who was at her first birthday? Who arranged for her to go to the crèche at the hospital so she could be close to him? Who insisted on me reconciling with Dad so she could have a grandfather? Go to hell, Steve. I'm not the naive teenage virgin that you can manipulate anymore. I have a husband and Laura has a father who loves us and we want nothing more to do with you." She said this feeling strangely calm. It helped knowing that Laura wasn't around, but it was more than that. It was knowing that Steve meant nothing to her anymore, not even as the man who had broken her heart and ruined her life. Even indirectly, he had brought Jack into her and Laura's lives, and now she was deliriously happy. Whereas Steve – Steve looked very worse for wear. He had aged more than just the two years since she had last seen him. Alcohol and a less-than-ideal lifestyle had eroded his looks just as effective as they had Ashley's, and now she found she could only pity him.
"Gabrielle, please. Did Jack tell you that I can't have children?" he asked.
"Yeah, he did. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," she said sarcastically.
"Laura's the only child I'll ever have."
"No, Laura's Jack's firstborn," she corrected. "You will never have children." Thankgod for that. Once upon a time, she had dreamed of having children with Steve. Now she saw just how bad a parent Steve would make, and that it was a good thing that he couldn't have any more children. His own selfish actions had saved Laura from growing up with a drunk, neglectful parent who would have made Ned Quade look like Father of the Year.
"Gabrielle, please," he said again, trying to appeal to her sense of decency. They had loved each other once, and he was hoping Gabrielle might be swayed by the fact he couldn't have any more children. "Jack can have more children." He looked directly at her swelling stomach, and Gabrielle took a step back, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle, resenting any interest that Steve showed in her pregnancy. "I just want to get to know my daughter."
"Go to hell."
"Gabrielle, what's – " Jack started to say before he saw Steve. He should have known from the beat-up ute that was completely out of place in this neighbourhood. "You," he snarled. "Get the fuck out of my house. Gabrielle, call the police." Gabrielle scampered into the kitchen where one of the cordless phones was based and Jack turned to Steve. "I believe I just gave you an order," he said.
"I came to see my daughter."
"My daughter," Jack corrected. "I have a birth certificate that says so."
"What, are you and Gabby synchronising your arguments now?" Steve asked sarcastically. "I can get a DNA test that says different."
"You do that," Jack said slowly so Steve would understand every word of what he was saying. He had spoken to Peter Hutchinson – actually, he wouldn't have needed so high-priced a lawyer when his sister, a second-year law student could have told him the same thing, but it would always be handy to scare off anyone thinking of representing Steve with the words Peter Hutchinson – and was confident in how non-existent a case Steve had, even if he was Laura's biological father. "Of course, you'll have to get a court order for that first, 'cos like hell am I allowing anyone to stick needles into Laura without it, nor, for that matter, is anyone getting my DNA without a court order. And to get a court order, you're going to have to explain how you came to write my name on the birth certificate, which involves a side case of felony, 'cos knowingly lying on a birth certificate is the little thing called fraud. And of course I'll unearth everyone I can to testify that you told all and sundry that there was no way in hell you were Laura's dad. Then, if you do find a judge who will give you a DNA order, and if you are Laura's father, you're going to face a long custody battle. DOCS doesn't like messing up happy families. You really think you're going to have much luck convincing a judge to give an unemployed drunk custody of a two-year-old over a highly respected married surgeon and admin nurse? Not to mention, you'll be separating Laura from her brothers and sisters, and DOCS hates doing that, too. And even if you do get custody – and you're best hope is every second fortnight, if you get incredibly lucky – by that time she'll be five or six and I would have spent the last four years telling her what an asshole you are. She'll hate you. Courts listen to children that age when they say who they want to live with."
Steve glowered. Jack had him in a corner and he knew it. But he wasn't about to concede defeat. "You wouldn't," he said.
"There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep my children safe," Jack said, stressing my children. "But I'll do you a deal." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was a brochure of shorts with some notes Jack had written in the margins. "This is for a place called Serenity Lodge. It's one of the best rehab places in New South Wales. It's a twelve-month program, three months of in-patient detox and nine months of out-patient treatment. I can get you in within a week. You do that, you get yourself a job and then we'll talk about supervised visitation."
"You bastard," Steve said, shaking more at the thought of a three-month detox than a year before he so much as got to see Laura. "I'm her father."
"You say that again and the deal's off the table." There was a knock on the door and Jack went to open it. It was the cops. "You got here quicker than I expected," he said pleasantly.
"Your wife sounded quite distressed," one of them said. "I understand you have an intruder?"
"Her ex," Jack said. "And he was just leaving." He cocked his head in Steve's direction.
Steve, like most alcoholics, had an ingrained antipathy towards cops, and he tensed up the second he saw them. "Yeah, I was just going," he agreed. The cops didn't move from the doorway, so Steve was forced to squeeze past them.
"Is there anything else we can help you with?" the same cop asked courteously. Part of what had elevated Jack and Gabrielle into the pages of The Scene was the amount of volunteer work they did, going to schools and youth organisations to talk about the medical consequences of drinking, speeding and other reckless behaviours that were the bane of cops' existences, and as a result, Jack and Gabrielle were popular within the police department.
"Fine, for the moment," Jack said. He was slightly worried about how Steve would react when he realised that everything Jack had said about Laura was true. Steve would be lucky just to get a judge to give him a court order for a DNA sample. Once that sank in, there was no saying what he might do. Steve had no far demonstrated that he didn't take well to hearing news he didn't want to hear. "But his name's Steve Taylor. From a town near the Victorian border called Widgee. You think you can pull up his record? He has this fixation on my wife and daughter and the more I have against him, the better."
It wasn't exactly regulation, but he figured there would be no harm done. "Thanks," Jack said gratefully. He saw the cops out and returned to Gabrielle. "He's gone," he said. Then added casually, "You know there's a security chain and a peep-hole for a reason?"
"Yeah, I know," she said. "I feel so stupid."
"It's OK. I'm just glad Laura wasn't here." He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, not mentioning that it worried him that Steve's determination to see Laura wasn't being curtailed either by human decency or the fact that he had no legal rights to her. And that could be dangerous.
"Smart, Steve, real smart," Ashley raged at Steve. He had gotten no further than she had. And what was all this crap about wanting to be with Laura, about her being his daughter? Steve hadn't given a shit about her for two years; more than that, he had done everything in his power to deny her existence. Had he really though Jack and Gabrielle were just going to hand her over like everything was fine and dandy? At least he could he been smart and asked for money, she thought. Someone like Jack Quade must have at least ten, twenty grand in disposable cash. If Laura meant that much to him, then surely it was a small amount to get rid of Steve? And what she could do with twenty grand.
Steve glowered. He was well aware of how thoroughly he had been beaten. And the worst part of it was, he knew Jack knew what he was talking about. If he tried to get a court order for a DNA sample, it would be easy enough for Jack and Gabrielle to turn around and point out that Steve, in his bitterness in discovering he was sterile, was trying to claim an ex-girlfriend's daughter – a child he had, at the time, told everyone who would listen (and many who wouldn't) that there was no way in hell she was his.
Damn, damn, damn. How could he have gotten it all so wrong? In his mind, Gabrielle would have been happy to see him and Jack would have been happy to have Laura taken off his hands. Having never understood why Jack would want to take on responsibility of another man's child, he had never understood that Jack would go to the same lengths for Laura as he would any other children of his. Instead, he had been met by a ferocious father who was acutely aware of his rights - to hell with genetics.
"I don't understand why that brat means that much to you," Ashley said sullenly. Sullen was her main mood these days. Seeing Gabrielle in the flesh, how well and successful she was, had made her even more bitter than just seeing her in a magazine. She reached for her glass of vodka and lemonade – more vodka than lemonade – and downed it quickly, then poured herself another. She knew she was drunk, and she intended on getting drunker. She wanted to get so drunk that she forgot how angry she was that things had worked out so well for Gabrielle while she was virtually unemployable – unless she wanted to scrub toilets or flip hamburgers – and her looks were going and the only man who showed any interest in her was Steve... and that even then, 'interest' was too strong a word. Apathetic habit was a more appropriate one.
"She's my daughter," Steve said, just as sullenly. Why couldn't the stupid slut get that through her thick head? He glared at Ashley. Seeing Gabrielle had made him even more aware of how Ashley just didn't compare. Love made her glow, and she had taken care of her health and looks far better than Ashley had. Far better than he had, for that matter.
Ashley downed another vodka and lemonade even more quickly. She laughed meanly. "She's not your daughter, Steve. Everyone knows that. There's more honour in being a fucking sperm donor."
"Shut up!" Steve screamed at her. He gulped down his own straight scotch, the fiery liquid burning his throat and feeding his anger. Stupid slut. What the hell did she know? Stupid nurse who would never have gotten anywhere if she hadn't had Gabrielle's notes to crib off.
"I won't!" Ashley screamed back. "You're an idiot, Steve, and the smartest thing Gabrielle ever did was to leave you! You really think she wouldn't have worked it out eventually? You think someone as smart as her wouldn't have found something better than some asshole who reeks of scotch? You really think any judge is going to let you anywhere near Laura after taking one look at you? I know I sure as hell wouldn't choose you over him."
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Steve screamed. He didn't want to hear about his failures, about Jack's virtues. Didn't want to hear how much better a man, a doctor and a human being Jack Quade was compared to him. And certainly didn't want to hear it from Ashley, who was trash if ever there was trash. She was no better than him. "You think you're any better?" he sneered drunkenly, tottering dangerously. "You think you would have gotten anywhere without her? Just look at how shit your life has been without her. You think someone like Quade would look twice at you? Hey, I have an idea of how you can make money. We're in Sydney, right? You should fit right in at Kings Cross – if they'll take you."
Ashley's eyes glittered with fury. How dare he! No better than he was, was she? Her life was only this way because of one little slip in judgement in letting Steve seduce her. With a howl of rage, she barrelled towards him, poised to strike.
Steve was drunk, but he was still far stronger than Ashley, and he shoved her to the side before she could strike him. With a scream, she hurtled towards the floor, hitting her head on the glass top of the cheap coffee table that furnished the motel room.
"Ashley?" he called her name when she slumped to the floor in silence. "Jones, this is no time for mucking around." Ashley remained silent. "Shit," he said to the silent room. "Stupid, clumsy slut." He kicked her in the ribs and she said and did nothing. Great, now he would have to take her to hospital.
Drunkenly, he picked her up and hauled her into his ute parked outside, buckling her in awkwardly. He got in the driver's seat and set off, fifteen kilometres over the limit as he sped out of the parking lot.
He hit the freeway and veered erratically. He knew he was drunk but he was already on the freeway so there was no help for it now. Naturally, it wasn't too long before he caught the attention of the police – unluckily enough for him, the same police who had been called to the Quade house a few hours before and had pulled up his records, including the licence plate of his ute. "Shit," Steve yelled to himself, then for added benefit, said to Ashley, "See what you've done, you stupid slut," he hissed. He hit the accelerator and started veering erratically, too absorbed in outrunning the police to realise how fast he was going or how far to the edge of the road he was veering.
He hit the light post at over a hundred kilometres an hour.
Epilogue
Sarah Taylor couldn't be much older than sixty. Jack guessed, but she looked older than seventy. He imagined it had come from a fair chunk of her adult life spent worrying about her alcoholic firstborn. Well, now she could stop worrying, although he was sure that was cold comfort to her.
He was grateful that she didn't hold him responsible for Steve's death – or Ashley's. He had felt awful that their deaths had happened so soon after his confrontation with Steve, and despite knowing that Steve had ultimately brought it upon himself – it wasn't like Jack had forced him to drink and drive, or to do any of the things that had led up to the end of his miserable life – Jack couldn't help but wonder if his refusal to let Steve see Laura had pushed him over the edge. "Always knew the two of them would end up that way," Sarah admitted sadly. "Two selfish, indulgent people who didn't know when to quit. The only good thing he ever did was Laura, and he didn't want anything to do with her until it was far too late."
Laura. Right now she was tottering around with Leo, oblivious to the perverse sense of grief and relief that permeated the funeral and wake. Sarah was clearly grieving, as were the younger sisters that Steve had alienated in his alcoholic career. But they were all clearly also relieved that there would be no more heartache caused by Steve's addiction, and Steve had burned to many bridges in his life to have anyone else grieve for him. And the best thing he had ever done was currently carousing with a Golden Retriever, her life so much better for never having known Steve.
And Sarah knew it. As much as it broke her heart to be seeing her two-year-old grand-daughter for the first time, not knowing when she might see her again, she knew that her life was so much better for having Jack as her dad rather than her own son. "She's beautiful," Sarah said wistfully. "She takes after her grandmother."
"I've been told. I wish I'd have known her."
"She was... a great woman. Laura has good genes," Sarah said ironically. There was a long pause as Sarah built up the courage to ask what she wanted. "I know I don't deserve it – I don't consider that Steve had any more claim to Laura than if he'd adopted her out, so that means I don't have any claim to her either, but – I'd really like to see her from time to time. She doesn't have to know who I am, and I can come up to Sydney if that's easier for you all."
"Both my and Gabby's mums are dead," Jack said. "Laura needs a grandmother. We'll be coming down here from time to time – I don't want any of my children not to be familiar with farm life," he said, shooting a look at Gabrielle. "You're welcome to see her whenever you want." Even if Jack had felt otherwise, he didn't have the heart to deny Sarah such a request.
"Thankyou."
After the wake, Jack and Gabrielle took Laura to the Jaeger farm where Russel and Ben were waiting for them. "How's my princess?" Russel asked Laura, picking her up and spinning her around in circles. Laura gurgled with laughter and cried out 'Grandpa'. "How's she doing?" he asked Jack and Gabrielle after Ben had taken her to explore the backyard.
"I don't think she worked it out," Gabrielle said. "We're trying to be honest with her – we just can't keep something that from her, too many people know – but she got over it pretty quickly. I think she was more frightened about a stranger handling her than she was Steve telling her he was her father." She paused, reflecting. In the hours leading up to Steve's death, she had come to realise how little he and Ashley meant to her anymore. Learning of their deaths had come as a shock to her, and she had found herself genuinely grieving, if not for the people that they had become, then for the people that she had once known. Their deaths made things simpler for her and Jack, but she never would have wished for things to end like this, regardless of how badly things had ended between them.
Russel nodded. There wasn't much else that could be said on the subject. Steve and Ashley were both dead and no-one else could – or would – challenge their claim to Laura. "Well, it's good to have you here," he said. "Laura shouldn't be strictly confined to being a city girl. None of them should. Speaking of which," Russel said, trying to sound casual. "It's about time we got her a pony."
"Over my dead body," Jack said with a casualness that did nothing to hide the fact he was dead serious.
Gabrielle laughed at that. "Sorry, dad, he's not going to budge on that one. Five at the absolute youngest."
"Well... at least let me take her out to the paddocks, let her see her heritage," Russel negotiated.
"I thought Ben was meant to inherit the whole thing?" Jack teased.
"Bloody hell, Jack, are you going to fight me on this ever step of the way?"
Jack softened, not that he was really against Laura familiarising herself with the farm anyway. They had all been through a lot, even if Russel hadn't always been on Gabrielle's side, and there was no point in reminding him of that now. "Sure," he said. Ben brought Laura back out from the garden and Jack reached for her hand. She tottered unsteadily but was very independent and didn't like being held when she could walk. "Let's go," Jack said.