Bakura: Master Match Maker from the Stars and Beyond!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Authors Notes:
Okay, okay, I know. I was supposed to write Camp Counselor, blah blah whatever. I couldn't think of anything. So instead, this idea came to me, and after many hours of sitting around and doing nothing, I decided to write it. I'm not going to lead you on, though its more than likely that I wont have the next chapter up for a while. Although, you can never be sure. Maybe this current surge of inspiration will last.

We can only hope, right?

R... right?

Disclaimer: Guys, my dream job is to be the person standing out in front of music stores playing the organ. Is that weird?

Chapter One: Single and Sassy

"Yuugi dumped you?"

"Yep."

"Shit man, thats rough."

"You're telling me." Yami muttered darkly, swirling the contents of his glass around. It was nothing but apple juice, since the bartender thought that Bakura and Yami were only high school kids, but they still liked to think of it as something expensive and highly alcoholic. Bakura patted his back in mock-pity before attempting to steal his beer nuts.

"So why'd he dump you? I always thought you two were like those penguins that mate for life, and can tell each other apart from other penguins." Bakura explained, hastily pulling back his hand as Yami attempted to stab it with a pen.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. Just tell me the story, yeah?"

Yami sighed. "There's nothing really to tell. We got into an argument over the refrigerator light, before I knew it, he was telling me that we should date other people."

"The refrigerator light." Bakura stated, his voice flat.

"You had to be there."

"I'm sure. Oh man, I don't know where I fit in now!" Bakura moaned, motioning to the sky exaggeratedly. Yami raised an eyebrow.

"What are you going on about?"

"Were split up! We were always a team, the three of us! It was always you, me, and Yuugi!"

"...It was?"

"But now, I don't know what to do with myself." Bakura shook his head sadly. "It is at the crossroads that Life runs us down like a freight train."

"...Did you get that from a shirt?"

"Yeah."

"Your punishment is to buy me that shirt."

"Pharaoh, this calls for drastic measures." Bakura began seriously, turning to face Yami. "We have to get your woman back." Bakura ignored Yami's indignant look and went on. "I'm calling in the big guns."

-----------------

"Please explain to me why you two always show up in my living room at one in the morning smelling like apple juice." Ryou prompted, staring down at the two spirits contemptuously. For someone so tiny, it was an amazing feat. Bakura smiled sheepishly and nudged Yami in the door.

"Aibou, it seems that the Pharaoh has gotten himself into a nasty little pickle."

"Yuugi dumped me." Yami interrupted, sounding dejected.

"He's gonna crash on the couch, okay?" Bakura asked, patting Yami's head as if he was asking to keep a puppy he found on the street. Yami pushed him off, which ultimately ended up in a squabbling sissy fight in the middle of the living room.

"Fine, he can stay for a few nights- I think were quite done." Ryou said loudly, addressing the mass of flailing arms and legs that was Bakura and Yami. "Yami, couch. Bakura, room. Bed. Now." Making his Authority-In-All-Things known, Ryou immediately walked back up the stairs and into his room. The two spirits watched him go before slowly turning to each other, smiling wickedly.

"X-Box?"

"X-Box."

-----------------

"Your boyfriend just turned up in my living room." Ryou spoke into the phone, plopping down on his bed. Yuugi made a disgruntled sound on the other end.

"Don't even get me started on him."

"What happened again, exactly?" Ryou asked, twirling the phone cord around his finger.

"Oh, he knows what he did." There was a pause over the connection. "What... what is he doing now?"

"I don't know. They're probably playing X-Box."

"Figures."

"You should talk to him." Ryou stated bluntly. "He seemed kind of down."

"I'm sure his heart is breaking, what with all the X-Box playing."

"I said probably. They might not be." Ryou muttered, unconvincingly.

"No. I don't even want to see his FACE right now."

Ryou nodded. "Understandable. I guess hell just stay here for a while." Yuugi made a noncommittal noise.

"Hmm. Well, I guess that's good that he's not out on the streets. Or at Malik's house." Ryou shuddered slightly as Yuugi continued. "I think I'm going to go. See ya."

"Bye." Ryou hung up the phone, leaning against his headboard and thinking about this new arrangement. Helping friends with their own love lives just wasn't his forte, especially when he didn't even understand his own. His current relationship with Bakura was iffy. Ever since their anniversary (of when Ryou got the Ring, NOT when they were married), things have been kind of different between them. What that meant, though, Ryou couldn't begin to guess. As he thought on this, there came from downstairs the sounds of muffled game play.

(BOOM)

(CRASH)

"I TOTALLY BEAT YOU THAT TIME, PHARAOH!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A CHEATER, THEIF! ALL YOU DO IS PRESS THE SAME DAMN BUTTON OVER AND OVER!"

"I'LL PRESS YOUR BUTTON!"

"OW!"

Okay, not-so-muffled. Ryou sighed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

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(A/N)

Its short and not very good, but hey, I'm trying. Also, I really have no idea where this story is going. If you have any ideas for this story, e-mail me and Ill take them into account. It would be appreciated.

Peace!