Day 1 (Rosalie)

Emmett and I were walking through the trees holding hands. We walked slowly after Renesmee, watching her giggling and chasing squirrels. Emmett was humming a song.

"What are you humming?" I asked him. It sounded like a bad rap song.

"I Want to Fukk You by Akon and Snoop Dogg," he replied.

I sighed. Of course. "Sounds lovely."

"Oh, it is. Very romantic." He glanced towards Renesmee. Upon seeing that she was out of eyeshot, he let go of my hand, stepped back a few feet, and started doing a rude dance. "I see you windin n grindin up on that pole, I kno u see me lookin' at you and you already know, I wanna-- ooof!"

I interrupted that hideous song with a punch to the stomach.

"What was that for? I was serenading you!" He said in a tone of mock anger.

"That's disgusting," I muttered. I pulled my sunglasses out of my pocket to find that one of the lenses was shattered. "What happened to my sunglasses?" My voice sounded panicked. They had cost 250 dollars. They were my favorite pair.

"Um, yeah, well I had a bit of an accident with them…" he mumbled, looking down at the ground bashfully.

"What?"

"Well I was getting dressed, and I tripped, and they fell off the dresser, and I stepped on them."

I sighed. The sun was bright, so I slipped them on anyway.

Just then I heard a loud sound of feet crushing leaves and twigs coming toward us. We both tensed up. Then, to my unpleasant surprise, my least favorite person stepped out of the tress. Jacob Black.

"Damn it, I was hoping for a psychotic killer," I sighed.

"Lady Gaga!" came his response. He started laughing.

"What?" I asked. "I do NOT look like Lady Gaga," I growled.

"You look just like her. The blonde hair and glasses, both."

"Lady Gaga? I think I've heard of her…" Emmett said from behind me.

Jacob pulled an MP3 Player out of his pocket. "Here." He held it out to Emmett. "This is Lady Gaga."

Emmett stood and listened to the music for a minute. Then he started dancing.

"He would make a good male stripper with those moves," Jacob informed me.

"You would know about male strippers, wouldn't you?" I snorted.

"Aunt Rose, will you come play with me?" Renesmee called, running up to me. I picked her up.

"Sure, sweetie."

Jacob smiled. "Hey Rosalie. How many blondes does it take to play tag?"

Fed up with his lame blonde jokes, I decided not to reply. Of course, he gave the answer anyway.

"One."

If Renesmee hadn't been there, I would have punched him in the stomach hard enough to stop his breathing.

Emmett handed Jacob back his MP3 Player. "That song was AWESOME!" He turned and began dancing his way back to the house, singing "hold me and love me, just want to touch you for a minute, maybe 3 seconds is enough for my heart too…" his voice faded away as he got further away.

Two things happened that day:

One: For the first time ever, I agreed with Jacob Black. The weird look on his face after he watched Emmett dance off mirrored the expression on my own face.

Two: That was the day that Emmett became obsessed with Lady Gaga.

To be continued... (will get better)