Disclaimer: I own it all! Muahuahuahua! ...Oh, JK, J.K. Rowling...

Warning: Suggested adult happenings between a man and a woman lie ahead...

"This is getting ridiculous!"

"If you'd just stay still for a few more minutes..."

"But this is so uncomfortable!"

"Miss Granger, put that smile back on your face, or it'll be ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Humph. Fine."

"Much better."

"Just - put the cucumber a bit farther in."

"It's so - oh Merlin - so big!"

"Maybe a bit further in?"

"Hermione, do it now, or you don't get your present..."

"Ten inches, remember!"

"I'm - oh, ah, mmm, trying..."

"Ooh, very good - hold it right there."

"I don't think I can - ah - stay this like for much - Merlin! - longer."

"Really, Fred, I think her legs are going to give out."

"But its the perfect pose... Wait, spread your legs a bit farther apart..."

"Uh, oh, ah - ah! George, I need you now!"

"George, go help her out."

"Oh - oh God yes, thank you, thank you, thank you..."

"Better, Hermione?"

"Just a little... harder - oh yes, yes!"

Harry breathed hard. He had never been this aroused in his life. He just had to see - had to see Hermione like this; naked, moaning, and in the throes of passion.

He nudged the door slightly open, hoping for just a glimpse...

"Who's there!"

Harry stood stock still with fright as Fred flung the door open. He was caught, with very tight trousers, spying on what must be the hottest threesome he'd ever imagined that didn't include himself in it.

"You okay, Harry?" Fred looked at him, bemused.

Harry blinked. Fred was wearing - a paint-splattered apron. Harry quickly turned to see Hermione.

She was fully clothed, and had her arms stretched overhead. In her hands was a large blue glass bowl in which was an tastefully arranged assortment of fruits and vegetables. George was standing by Hermione, and helping hold up the bowl with one hand.

"I, er - what - what are you doing?" Harry asked weakly.

"Painting a still life," Fred said cheerily. "The bowl has to be just so... Just at that height, to go with the tapestry in the background."

He waved his paintbrush and splashed the front of Harry's trousers with dark blue paint.

"Oops, sorry Harry."

Harry gulped and covered the spot quickly, murmuring that it was quite all right.

"For heavens sakes," Hermione said in exasperation. "My arms are exhausted, we'll finish this tomorrow, Fred. I can wait until then for my chocolate cake, but it had better be ready when we're done."

"I know, dark chocolate, cherry sauce, white chocolate flakes, must be ten inches in diameter," Fred sighed. "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow, at ten o'clock sharp!"

"See you!" George called merrily as he took the bowl from Hermione.

Note: There will be a second chapter to conclude the story, but it will contain more Mature content.