Disclaimer: I do not own it.

A/N: Sorry for the long delay. Life just got busy really quick. I hope this update will bring about some sort of entertainment. Lol

Warning: This story will contain Yaoi, bad language and other things unsuitable for children. If you feel you have little knowledge of Yaoi, I suggest you turn back while you still can. If you don't like MalexMale relationships, then don't read it. Kay thanks.

Unbroken Will- Chapter Six

.
.

"You're late! A penalty!"

Haruhi is wearing her trademark yellow sun-dress, her eyes full of mischief and mayhem. I see that spark has found its way back into her eyes. It's a typical Saturday, even though the circumstances aren't all that normal. As predicted the entire gang came sauntering out to greet me. Asahina clings to my arm, but Haruhi is first to push her off. I rub my neck sheepishly, lifting my eyes to meet Koizumi's.

So he came, after all. Is all I can think as we both look away. Things were different between us now. I could feel it in my bones. He was wearing a hunter green t-shirt, and a pair of khaki shorts with matching sandals.

It was as if yesterday never happened. But, I know better. I can't make the assumption that he isn't hurting from the other day. A pang of guilt tears through the pit of my stomach, and I try to ignore the feeling. I felt uneasy still, my heart stuttering a beat as Haruhi gathered us around to tell her plans.

"If there are any espers, time travelers and aliens that give a sign that they exist, don't hesitate to call ok? This is serious, guys. We're bound to find something, today. I can feel it!" Haruhi mouths off in a-matter-of-factly tone as she dug through her dress pocket to pull out a bundle of sticks in various sizes. "The people with the same size sticks are going to be grouped together! Ready…go!"

I give a steady prayer in my heart that Asahina and I could become partners. Anyone with half a brain knew I always had a thing for Asahina. I've made no secret about it. The girl is as magical as her breasts are supple. You can't go wrong with a girl like that. Haruhi on the other hand… perhaps could have been classified as a def-con level three cock-blocker.

Asahina gives me a hopeful glance, those round bright eyes staring up into my own. I can feel her breast pushing up against my elbow as she grabs my arm in her little Asahina-way, and for a moment I wish my elbow was my penis. I lose composure, my smile waning as I put my stick close to hers to measure. Haruhi gives an almost triumphant look, and I wonder if she realizes that we can see her intent to sabotage us ever being together.

Already my Saturday is ruined.

"Looks like Asahina won't be with Kyon," Haruhi says in an obnoxious tone; I take a look in Koizumi's direction for help like I usually do, but that awkward air between us hasn't cleared at all yet. With dread I realize that Koizumi may just have been put off by my half-hearted attempt to ignore all of this.

We give each other a glance, his expression hard to read. I find myself wondering what he's thinking about again. Haruhi's pompous expression fades as she strikes out in having the same size stick as mine.

So, there is a God.

At this point, I take the time to snort, turning the other way to avoid her piercing stare.

Please don't give me such an accusing stare, I think to myself, ignoring her ridiculously dejected look.

"Alright, move out," Haruhi mumbles, and I give an exasperated sigh, watching Asahina wave solemnly as she walked away with Nagato and Haruhi in the other direction. I wiggle my fingers sheepishly at her, before turning around. Oh, Asahina, my time to ogle your tits will be greatly missed.

It's silent between Koizumi and I. My hands sift into my pockets as all these thoughts began to float around.

Why should I give a crap about all this? I'm not gay, right? He's asking an impossible thing of me. I don't think that's fair. My life has already gotten weird. A gay esper is just the big fucking twist in this entire game Haruhi's set up.

"If aliens, time travelers, and espers existed," I started slowly to ease the silence between us. I give him a side glance. "—they wouldn't want to be found. Not by the likes of Haruhi," I murmur. I can see the amusement in his face lining against his blank expression.

Koizumi snorts aloud.

"On the contrary, she seemed to find US." That is the first response I'd gotten out of him since the last time we spoke. I swallow, the sun giving no mercy to my exposed neck. The summer heat out here could get to sweltering degrees some days. Other days it was just muggy, raining, or gray.

It's strange, I can't recall those gray days.

Not when Koizumi was around. There I go, thinking those weird thoughts again.

I give a self-conscious rub to my arms. Koizumi is watching me with that same pensive stare, as if any word out of his mouth would upset and disturb me. His mouth moves to say something, but I am met with silence. We walk until I slow, watching his back as he keeps his pace. When he noticed I wasn't following, he turned to regard me beneath those dark lashes.

His hair's getting longer. He should cut it… I could probably cut it if he let me.

The faint scent of his must and cologne amplified by the heat, the slight stubble at his chin from not being able to shave this morning; all of these were things I noticed about Koizumi just then. When were his shoulders so broad? When did Koizumi become this… man?

"Kyon?" He lets out, and a pang inhabits me. Why do I feel this way? I know this feeling, that very same feeling I had when we were stuck on that mysterious island. It was that very same soul-wrenching feeling. I couldn't stand it, then.

I can't stand it now.

He's looking at me, expectant, searching… does he know? Can he see right through me?

"We'd better look for something before Haruhi—" He starts. I know he's deflecting simply just to keep some sort of peace between us. But, the elephant in the room has gotten way too big for us to ignore.

"Itsuki." I say his name softly, but it's the first time I've ever done so. It flies out of me before I can even stop myself. Koizumi gives me a pained expression, even though I can't look him in the eyes for long.

"We don't have to pretend, alright? I get it." I know I could never really begin to understand him, or his feelings. I say I want to, but that would lead us down an unfamiliar road.

A hard and scary road; a road I'm not prepared to take.

I feel so afraid, and the soft sigh that escapes Koizumi only amplifies this irrational fear within me. Koizumi comes closer, and I hold my breath. I want to know what he's thinking, and what this all means. What will happen to us now?

We're both silent, but I can almost feel the heat of his body against mine. I shut my eyes, the heat beating down on the ground like an angry wave. We decide to move under the awning at a secluded spot behind the station for refuge.

Sweat trickles down the back of my neck; my heart pounds at the shuffle of his feet beside me. As we stop, I feel the weight of his hands on my shoulders. Slow and steady, just like his voice. Despite being so warm out, the heat from his hands were different.

Very, very different.

"You know what I want, Kyon. There's no turning back if… if we…" His thumb brushes against my neck, and my spine tingles in a way I've never experienced before. I know he's struggling with this, but damn it, so am I! I pull back, but he takes it as some sort of invitation.

This makes me uneasy to the max.

"Koizumi, this is weird as hell—" I stammer, blushing profusely. Our foreheads almost meet. I can't look at him just yet.

"I know. I know…" Koizumi whispers back. His hands are on me again, moving up and down my shoulders as if to check if I am real or not. I can feel him holding back. I can't move—or rather, I choose not to just yet.

"Kyon, I—" He pulls away from me as he notices my discomfort, running a hand through his light brown hair. He looks frustrated. My eyes are fixed on the silken strands that fall across his furrowed brows. This heat is affecting me, I think to myself to ease my beating heart.

"What…? What is it…?" If there was any sense in me left, I would've stopped this from happening a long time ago. Koizumi is close, and where we are no one could possibly interrupt us. I find myself against the cool slab of bricks beneath the awning shielding us from the sun.

A bead of sweat poured down Koizumi's cheek as we stare at each other. I watch it dribble down his long neck, looking up to find him watching me.

"What were you going to say?" I repeat to distract him, and he gives me a guarded gaze.

"Do you really want to hear it, Kyon?" His eyes peer into mine and I look away. I absolutely hate when he does that. It's as if he's reading my mind.

"If it's about those things, no…" Heat creeps on my cheeks again, the familiar, uncomfortable feeling seeping into me. What am I still doing here?

"I couldn't stop feeling these feelings. I don't have a choice." I look up to find him staring at his shoes. "I thought to myself 'I must be weird for feeling this way'. Or 'Kyon would find this dirty and disgusting'. But, I couldn't stop, and now—"

And, now?

Koizumi stops as if he's said too much, and it's obvious that this is hard enough for him to say all this in front of me—me, who tossed his feelings to the wind without so much as a thought. I, who couldn't and probably would never, return those feelings. I move towards him for the first time, every step heavy with hesitation as I see tears pouring out his eyes. He's resting his palms on his knees to support his weight, his shoulders shaking.

I make him suffer so much. So, so much. What do I do? Someone give me the answer!

I touch his shoulder, feeling him lean up to push his face into my neck as he gives a watery sob. I was never able to give others hugs. I just wasn't big on contact. But Koizumi had to have been the very first recipient to ever receive a hug on my part. It was strange and alien, but familiar all the same as I held him in the shaded alleyway.

I don't think I ever saw him cry so hard. I just held, and held… and held until he stopped shaking. My shirt was probably soaked through with his tears alone, but I continued to hold him. He pulled back to wipe his eyes, my thumbs unconsciously brushing his tears away.

He'd gotten so much taller than me since we'd met. This close it was easier to tell how much of a man he'd become. Koizumi sniffed loudly, leaning forward to kiss me on the lips.

It was perhaps a moment where we didn't really know what had just happened, but his lips were on mine one more time. And then another… and soon his hands were on my hips, pulling me closer as we kissed clumsily beneath the shaded awning.

What am I doing? What am I doing…?

His lips felt pliant against mine, warm and wet and soft as we tilt our heads to get a better taste of each other. I struggle against him, but there is no power in it. My hands stay at his chest to keep him at bay. He pulls my body closer, my fingers fisting in the material of his shirt as he cups the back of my neck to keep me from turning away. The soft prod of his tongue against my lips made my body twitch. Our tongues finally met, his hands brushing over my ass to pull me up against him fully. I could feel him against my thigh, jerking back.

"Oh—" I begin, pulling away from him when my senses finally came to. Koizumi's pupils were dilated, his nostrils flaring as he licked his kiss-swollen lips.

He's aroused.

But so am I, I realize with horror.

As he reaches for me, I pull away, shaking my head. "We—"

"Kyon! Koizumi!" The sound of Haruhi's voice in the distance causes us both to jump, scurrying out of the alleyway, the moment gone between us. I can still feel his lips against mine, and the scent of him settling around me like a long forgotten dream in the midst of the heat.