You're Rejecting Me for… WHO?!

Author's Note: A slightly crack-y fic inspired by my musings of who Natsuki would like if she was actually straight (I am obviously a ShizNat fan, but I'm not against the idea of Natsuki being with a guy, I just don't think she'd go for any within the series). I don't think that she'd actually go for this person, but it popped into my mind and I just had to share it with all of you, so please don't take it seriously. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME and I'm making no profit what-so-ever, because I haven't figured how to rig the system yet so I can steal out of people's online bank accounts while they read my stories. ;P

"I'm sorry Shizuru, I really am, I tried my best but I just can't feel that way about another woman," Natsuki apologized, stroking her thumb over the hand she held. Shizuru smiled sadly and nodded at the girl sitting opposite her. She had hoped that Natsuki would learn to reciprocate her feelings as well as accept them, but when Natsuki had turned up at her door with a sombre look on her face she knew that all they could ever be was friends.

"I understand. I can't force you to be something that you're not," she responded, hesitating before continuing, "Is there… someone you like?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," the blue haired HiME confirmed, her cheeks flaring into a dark blush. Shizuru couldn't help but stare at the sight longingly, wishing that she could reach out and trail her hand over the skin of the person that could never be hers.

"Ara, then you must tell me who has caught your eye. I'd like to tell him what a lucky man he is," the brunette said with a smile as her thoughts ran rampant. 'And perhaps give him a swift kick in the… Argh, who could he be? If it's Takeda, I'll kick myself at the same time for thinking that he could never be my rival for my Natsuki's affections. Natsuki has always seemed to detest him… but they do say love is easy to confuse with hate and Natsuki did insist his innocence during the lingerie incident… You are such a fool Fujino.'

"It's kind of embarrassing," Natsuki squirmed as her blush deepened. Shizuru raised an eyebrow.

"Now I'm really intrigued… Oh please do tell me Natsuki. After all, I'd tell you."

"But you never told me who you… oh wait, that's because it was me," Natsuki sarcastically replied as she rolled her eyes. Shizuru couldn't help give a small smirk at that before pressing onto the subject at hand.

"Fine, if you won't tell me then I'll have to wager a guess or two. How about… Takeda?"

"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me. There's more of a chance that I'd fall in love with you, although I do feel sorry for the guy."

"True," Shizuru hummed, feeling slightly happier. "Then who else could it be? Do I know him?"

"Yeah, you know him."

"Reito-kun?" Natsuki shook her head.

"Tate?" The blue haired girl pulled a face.

"Tokiha Takumi?" Shizuru giggled at the icy glare she was receiving. "Then tell me before I list the rest Fuuka's most desirable male students."

"Sakomizu."

There was a momentary pause before Shizuru erupted into an uncontrollable fit of laughter; her eyes clenched shut as tears rolled down her face and she had to wrap her arms around her sides as her ribs began to ache. It was only after the worst of the laughter had subsided and she had opened her eyes did she notice that Natsuki was glowering at her with enraged emerald eyes. The last vestiges of mirth died quickly in her throat as she realised that her friend was being completely serious.

"I think I misheard you there, because I'm sure you said… You're rejecting me for… WHO?!"

"This isn't about you Shizuru. This is about me… and Sakomizu," Natsuki coldly stated, her lips curling upwards slightly as she mentioned the man's name. Shizuru stared at her with a flabbergasted expression that would have her fans fainting over her lack of composure, as her open mouth was moving slightly and her crimson eyes almost comically bulged out of their sockets.

"Sakomizu… he's old enough to be your father… and he's a teacher… and… and…" Shizuru choked out as she shook her head, "He's Sakomizu! If you were choosing someone over me, then I'd expect him to be some tall, handsome stranger you met at a bike-rally, not a middle-aged man whose best friend is his garden!"

"You don't know him Shizuru!" Natsuki yelled back, "He's sweet and caring and he really looked out for me during the Carnival. Everyone just judges him for his appearance and they never give him a chance so they can't see the wonderful person lying within. And gardening is just a hobby of his, tea-ceremony girl!"

"But he's Sakomizu!" Shizuru protested as she waved her arms around in a un-Shizuru-like way, her brain unable to function properly due to severe shock. "I'm sure he's a lovely guy, but you're… and he's… Can't you find someone else your own age, preferably me?"

"Is that what this boils down to? The fact that you just want me to yourself? Well you can't have me!"

"But I'm hot! I can be all that he can be and more if you'd just give me the chance!"

"I said no Shizuru. Jeez, you wouldn't have been happy if I told you I was dating a rock star!"

"You're dating him?! I thought it was just a crush, but you're dating him?! He's a teacher! How can you possibly expect it to work? The authorities will arrest him if they found out," Shizuru wailed as her brain spun into over-drive. She wasn't used to this amount of stress and she felt like she was about to faint at any moment. Natsuki didn't look to good either; her face was bright red as if all her blood was concentrated there and could be about to burst a blood vessel.

"But they won't find out, will they? The only ones who know are you, Mai and his mother. I'll never forgive you if I found out that you got in the way of us," Natsuki growled as she stood up.

"What? Where are you going?"

"We're leaving tonight for Tokyo, so we can free from people who try to get in the way of us. We love each other Shizuru and there isn't anything you can do about it. I'm sorry," the biker dramatically declared before storming of the front door and slamming it with a crash behind her.

The red eyed girl sat frozen in her seat as she stared at the space that her heart's desire had just occupied. Half an hour passed before she managed to shake herself out of her stupor and reached for the phone that was lying on the coffee table in the centre of the room. She cocked her head to the side in thought before she dialled a number into the telephone.

"Hello, this is Mori Tanaka, head of the National Police Academy head-quarters speaking."

"Hello Mori-san, this is Fujino Shizuru."

"Ah, Shizuru-chan. How is you're father?"

"He is doing very well, thank you for inquiring. I was wondering if you could do me a favour."

"As long as it isn't covering up another slaughter of Japan's criminal groups, I'd do anything," the man chuckled as he sensed Shizuru uncharacteristically wince.

"No, no, nothing like that will ever occur again. I was thinking along the lines of a police barricade and name-dropping of an elderly Sakomizu, think you can do that for me?"

"Sure, but if this girl you're crazy about has anything to do with it, I hope she appreciates it."

"Don't worry, she will."

Omake

Shizuru: (Sobbing in the corner.) Noooooo~! Natsuki has rejected me for… for… a man!

Natsuki: I'm going to kick your ass Revalis. What on Earth made you come up with this?

Revalis: Well, the only guys that you spend more than two seconds talking to without harming them is Sakomizu and Yamada, so I came up with… (Drum-roll for heightened tension.) SakoSuki!

Everyone including ShizNat fans: HELL NO!!!!

Revalis: Why? We do need more variation in the Mai HiME universe and Sakomizu is has been stuck as a side character for so long, so why not give him a chance? What do you say about it Sakomizu?

Sakomizu: (Feels everyone's heated gaze, especially Shizuru's.) Actually, I'm happy being a side character… honestly… not bothered about having my own fiction… absolutely not…

Revalis: (Sighs in defeat.) Fine, no more SakoSuki from me.

Everyone: YAY!

Sakomizu: (Looks up to the sky.) Thank you God.

Shizuru: (Pulls Natsuki close to her.) So I get my Natsuki back. :3

Natsuki: Shi-Shizuru! (Whispers.) I'm never leaving you again.

Shizuru: Awww! (Glomps.)

Revalis: (To herself.) Now who else can I pair Natsuki up with…