Unfortunately for Belladonna, the X-men did not take kindly to assassins trespassing on their property in an attempt to stab one among their ranks to death.

Unfortunately for the X-men, Belle was… well, Belle was Belle.

There was a half a beat in which Everyone was frozen, eyeing each other warily. (Or with desperate confusion as everyone who had been inside during the whole 'Belle's coming to kill you' explanation was thrown out)

And then, all of the sudden, several things happened all at once:

Remy tackled Rogue to the ground behind the sofa.

Henri grabbed Merci and locked her in a closet.

And Logan took a snarling leap at Belle, claws first.

Belle sighed heavily as she watched the Wolverine barrel down on her, almost lazily pulling a gun out of the holster and firing off a single shot, not even looking at where she was aiming.

Logan crumpled to the ground, though the shot had glanced off his metal skull, the blow was still enough to place him out of the game for a while.

"Anybody else?" Belle said loudly turning to the other patrons of the mansion, waving her gun around in the air in a sort of non-committal way.

Everyone except for Piotr, John, Scott, Kitty, Kurt, Lance, Pietro, and Storm bolted. Though it should be noted that the only reason John stayed was because Piotr had a firm hold on the collar of his shirt, Lance only stayed because Kitty stayed, Kitty only stayed because Scott stayed, Scott only stayed to make sure Jean stayed out of the same room as the gun-wielding psychopath, Kurt didn't really know why he stayed, and Pietro was just leaning against the wall, completely at his leisure to watch this insanity go down without getting involved.

"Let's get this over with," Belle rolled her shoulders and whipped out another blade.

-

"You make sure she stays in that closet!" Henri barked at Emil and Theo, baring the door of the closet his wife was locked in with another chair as Merci shrieked and pounded her fists against the door, calling out death threats.

"Find Remy!" Emil grunted, bracing his back against the door.

"On it!" Henri called back as he tore out into the room, ducking under fireballs, lightning bolts, lasers, and clouds of sulfur with the skill and agility on a thief could possess, finally locating his brother crouching behind the couch next to Rogue.

"Stay here!" Remy snapped.

"No!" Rogue attempted to stand.

"Woman!" Remy grabbed her arm and wrenched her back down. "If you get hurt because of me and my crazy murderers, I'll never forgive either of us. You're staying here!"

"No, I'm not!" Rogue shouted again, nearly drown out by the sound of destruction and cackling of no less than three insane people.

"Yes, you are!" Remy snarled, pulling her down a second time as she tried to stand up.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"In case you two haven't noticed," Henri threw in leisurely, leaning against the side of the couch, silhouetted by the flare of fire and flash of lightning in the background. "We could potentially have a slight bit of a problem on our hands."

"You're very perceptive!" Remy snapped, ducking under some flying debris as he grabbed on to the back of Rogue's shirt, keeping her in place as she tried to bolt again.

"I try." Henri smirked, turning sideways to avoid a flying knife.

"You know what," Remy growled, pulling Rogue backwards into his arms and standing up. "Hold this." He plopped Rogue down in Henri's arms.

"Remy LeBeau!" Rogue shrieked, fighting against Henri's steel grip as Remy winked at her and leaped over the back of the couch.

-

Belle furrowed her brow as she kicked the Russian's legs out from underneath him, displeased with how much energy she was using on these freaks. She was on a very tight schedule.

9:30- 10:00: Clean guns.

10:00-10:25: Makeup.

10:25-11:00: Bleach knives.

11:00-11:45: Sharpen knives.

11:45-12:00: Hide knives on person.

12:00-12:30: Lunch.

12:30-3:00: Murder the hell out of Remy.

3:00-4:00: Laundry.

She simply had no time for these sorts of antics.

She snorted with displeasure as the ground started to quake, searching out the kid with the mullet, who seemed to be the particular freak behind the anomaly, and kicked him in the worst of places, twisting just in time to catch the blue fuzzy thing as he teleported behind her, flicking out a knife as she made a swooping motion for his throat.

A blunt force collided with her shoulder, throwing her off balance, sending the knife flying out of her hand.

She recovered quickly, hands connecting with the floor as she catapulted herself back into an upright crouch. A vicious grin spread across her lips, because even before she looked up, she knew.

"Everybody back the hell up." Remy growled, cards fanning out between his fingers. "She's mine."

Belle snorted.

"If I were actually yours, we wouldn't be having this little spat, now would we?" She pointed out.

"True." Remy allowed.

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" Belle twirled twin blades around between her fingers before locking her frame in a defense position.

"Let's." Remy rolled his shoulders, whipping out his bo staff.

-

"Oh, please," Pietro rolled his eyes from where he was leaning against the wall. "Gambit's got this one in the bag."

He didn't even notice Xavier roll up beside him.

"Would you care to place money on the matter, Mr. Maximoff?" Xavier inquired.

-

Remy dipped below Belle's knife as it swept through the air where his jugular had just been, firmly planting his hand on the ground as he vaulted himself upwards, separating Belle from knife again.

Belle simply flipped another one out of her sleeve, not missing a beat in her attack.

Remy snorted with frustration, striking out again, removing another knife from Belle's ownership.

She rolled her eyes, kicking him in the stomach while pulling another out of her boot.

He grunted in pain, but recovered quickly, lashing out with his boot, knocking yet another blade from her fingers.

She reached over her shoulder and pulled another out of her collar as she kicked his legs out from underneath him.

"Where do they all come from?!" He shouted in shock, scurrying backwards as her knife imbedded itself in the wood between his legs.

"Wouldn' matter if I told you." Belle cackled evilly, stepping forward as Remy backed himself into a wall. "You're not gon' be 'round long enough t' care!" She crowed, cocking one of her arms back, knife glinting in the sun light. "Goodbye, Remy LeBeau," She grinned. "Can't say I'll miss ya, but I do get t' say I killed ya."

Remy winced his eyes closed as her arm started to come down in an arching motion.

"Like hell you are!" Rogue snarled, shoulder colliding with Belle's stomach.

"Goddammit, chere!" Remy shouted once the sensation of 'not-being-stabbed' wore off.

"I think I might have broken your brother's nose." Rogue commented, pulling Remy into an upright position.

Remy stepped in front of her, knocking her feet out as he went, catching Belle's steel toed boot as she rebounded from her fall to the floor. "I thought I told you to stay away!" He snapped.

"And I thought I told you it wasn't gonna happen!" Rogue shot back from the floor, attempting to stand, only for Remy to whip out his staff again and knock down both her and Belle in one sweep. "Dammit!" She cursed. "I'm trying to help you!"

"Don't!" Remy growled, trying to charge his cards before Belle kicked them out of his hand.

"If this is going to be an indicator for any relationship we have in the future, you're gonna be a crap boyfriend!" Rogue yowled, attempting to lash out at Belle, only to be intercepted by Remy again, who took the brunt of Belle's blow for her. "Because I don't want you to get stabbed?" His voice rose with distress, both from the conversation and the fist gouging into his kidneys.

"Because you won't let me help you!" Rogue went to elbow Belle in the throat, again to be blocked by Remy.

"There's a difference between 'help me' and 'get killed for me'!" Remy pointed out as he got a heel of the hand to the nose.

"You are so difficult!" Rogue snipped, lashing forward with a fist that Remy caught. "I knew I should have never gotten involved with you!" She kicked out, but again was thwarted by Remy's hand gripping her thigh, while he still had a hold of her fist.

"You got involved with me?" Remy repeated, locking Belle's fist under his other arm as she struck out. "You got involved with me?!" He yanked Belle forward and wrapped his one leg that wasn't busy standing around her knees, immobilizing her legs. "Might I point out that it has been you who has kissed me on no less than two occasions!"

Rogue turned red. "That-."

"Oh, would you two shut up!" Bell shouted, fuming about the tangle of limbs they had become as Remy still had hold on both of the women who had been attacking each other. "I'm just gonna kill both of y'!" She twisted out of Remy's grip, sending the other two of them tumbling to the ground in an even more tangled mess as she landed lightly. "Then you can just bicker, bicker, bicker in hell!" She pulled out her gun and, obviously done playing around, pointed it in between their two heads. "Who goes first?"

Remy sighed heavily, repositioning himself under Rogue. "'M sorry in my way of trying to protect you I denied you the ability to help me."

Rogue shifted her hips uncomfortably so that they ended up next to Remy's with another sigh. "I'm sorry I was so bust tryin' to have my way I disregarded your want to keep me safe."

Belle rolled her eyes with a scoff and pulled out another gun. "You know what? I'm just gon' kill both of you at the same time. You two just sicken me."

Remy wrapped his arms around Rogue. "Sorry I got ya killed, Rogue."

Rogue nuzzled into Remy. "'Least I got to die comfortable."

Belle tried to cover up her gag as the pulled the trigger, not noticing all of the X-men standing against the wall pointing behind her with wide eyes and dropped mouths.

Remy and Rogue winced at the same time, however, the 'bang!' they had expected to hear really came out as more of a 'clang!'.

They both hesitated a moment to make sure they weren't dead before they hazarded opening their eyes.

Tante Mattie stood over the unconscious form of Belladonna, frying pan held firmly in one hand, scowl secure on her brow.

"Why de hell didn' anyone call me?!" She demanded.

"Sorry Tante." Henri, with his bloody nose, Emil, with his black eye, Theo, with his swollen lip, and Merci, with splinters of once-was closet door stuck in her hair chorused.

"As well y' should be." Mattie nodded.

Pietro's jaw was on the floor. He silently handed over his entire wallet to Xavier, who, feeling his job discouraging gambling under his roof was done, whistled merrily as he wheeled away.

Rogue and Remy finally felt safe to breathe, which actually came out as more of a half-hysterical laughing fit.

"Let's never have this much fun again." Rogue giggled.

"What? Are you kidding?" Remy chuckled, pulling her up with him. "It's Friday! We have a date tonight! I expect many more impromptu kisses!"

"Only if they keep shuttin' you up." Rogue teased as they walked off together.

…Leaving a room full of X-men who had yet to collect their jaws off the floor…

"They confuse me so." John mumbled, scrubbing at his brow.

Everyone nodded their agreement.

-

Fin.

I… I honestly don't know what else I can say at this point. I really love this story… :D It's so short! 11 Chapters?!?! That's 14 less than my usual minimum! It's… It's… FUN SIZED!

Now, I shall end this story the way I do with all of my stories.

Nap time.