Written a little while ago. First story that isn't PG 13. I hope you enjoy it, but if you don't, I respect your opinion comletely.

A TOUCH OF DARKNESS

DARK DESIRE ALWAYS WINS

It was dark when I left my apartment. The street lights were shining down on the roads, just a little too far apart to light all of the bitumen. If I had a morbid mind I would have thought that it was just enough darkness between each light to take some unknowing person into the shadows, never to be seen again.

But of course, I don't have a morbid mind. No one does in Sunnydale; it's too happy a place. That's what most people believe, even when they can see the strange and horrible events that happen all around them. They have convinced themselves that they have put up their house and white picket fence on their own little slice of heaven. I'm a realist though. I've put my iron gates up on my own slab of hell and I've learnt to accept the things that go bump in the night.

I'd had a long day at work and I'd decided to head to the Bronze. There was always someone interesting there and I needed a break. The gang couldn't meet me but that didn't matter too much. I knew they were all busy and I didn't want to disturb them. Besides, I just wanted to have a drink and listen to some live music. It's the only way to relax in my opinion.

It was only a three minute walk, but I knew all too well that a trip to the next door neighbours could be the last passage a person walked, so I stashed a knife in my coat and a stake up my sleeve.

I was half a block away from the Bronze when I could first hear the music playing. I smiled, walking a little faster and feeling eager to reach my destination. I could already taste the cold soda.

'Give me your money,' growled an English accent to my right. A sickening feeling told me that I recognised it.

'What a surprise,' I said, making my tone as sarcastic as possible.

'Oh you've got to be bloody kidding me,' he exclaimed, stepping from the shadows, his dark eyebrows raised. I could have sworn he'd stomped. He ran a hand through his bleached blonde hair as his features morphed back into a human face. 'You guys are bloody everywhere.'

'I could say the same about you Spike,' I said, my teeth clenched. 'It seems that you've got a new hobby since I last saw you though. Taken to trick or treating have you?'

'What do you mean by that?'

I laughed. 'Give me your money? Are you sure that you don't want me to go get you some candy or are you a big boy now?'

Spike growled, lifting his fist for just a moment before he yelled, stumbling slightly. He gripped his head, cursing.

'Forget something?' I asked, starting to walk away.

'Wait.'

I stopped without turning. 'What do you want?'

'Listen, I wouldn't be asking if I weren't completely and utterly desperate, but I'm starving and I need...I need...'

I turned. 'Help,' I said, finishing the sentence for him. 'Not that it needed saying. If you'd like, I can give you the number of a good shrink.'

'Please,' he yelled, looking straight into my eyes. 'This chip...you know I can't hurt you or anything so can you just give a guy a break?'

I stood for a moment, watching the emotions play across his face. 'Alright,' I said. 'But only because you're ridiculously pitiful due to your impotency.' I turned and walked away, but only after I saw him scowl. He hated it when we called it that.

'I only turned to you 'cos I had no other choice. I think the butcher I was getting blood from before did a spell to block me out. I can't get in,' Spike complained, walking beside me.

'His wife is a witch.'

'Oh. That explains it,' he shrugged. 'So where are you getting the blood from?'

'There is more than one butcher in town,' I reminded him. 'My uncle owns one and I have a key because I do all the number work for him. I can get in there any time.'

'Does that mean that you can get blood for me?' he asked eagerly.

'Yes, but it doesn't mean I will.'

'But…'

'That doesn't mean I won't either,' I said. 'I just wanted to see your face.'

'Have I ever told you how much I wish I could kill you?'

'And torture me, and drink my blood,' I said, rolling my eyes at him for effect. 'Yes, you have.'

'Ah, good,' he said, rummaging around in his pockets. He pulled a packet of cigarettes from his coat and a lighter. He took one from the packet, putting it in his mouth.

I snatched it from his lips, watching his eyes boggle. 'You are not smoking near me. It's gross.'

He watched me, his mouth hanging open as I threw it into the gutter. 'You're loving this, aren't you?'

'How'd you guess?'

He growled, shoving the packet back into his coat, his shoulders hunched. 'So where is this place?'

'Just another block,' I said. 'A bit hungry are you?'

'Bloody starving, I haven't had anything to eat for ages.'

'Poor little Spike. Must be so hard,' I said, drowning my words in feigned sympathy.

'It is hard,' he said, pointing at me with an emphatic finger. 'It's hard to be the big bad around here when you can't even kill anyone.'

'I can see why that's such a downside.'

'Don't you start with your bloody slayer-influenced talk,' he said. 'You're supposed to be my dinner and I can't even beat you around a little.'

'From where I'm standing, that's a good thing.'

'It's not from where I'm standing.'

I stopped, pulling a key from my jeans pocket. 'I'd stop complaining if I were you. The fact that you can't hurt people is the only reason that we haven't dusted you yet.'

'Well you're not me and I'm not going to stop complaining. It's her commando's fault that I'm here right now, asking you for help.'

'If you'd like I can just take this key out of the lock.'

'No, no, no,' he said, raising his hands up and shaking them frantically. 'I greatly appreciate your assistance and apologise for my...ah...rude behaviour.'

I opened the door, stepping inside. 'Never speak like that again.'

'Don't worry, I don't want to.'

'Come on.' I led him to the smaller fridge and took a tub from the top shelf. I held it out to him, drawing it back to my body when he tried to grab it. 'Ah, ah, ah,' I tutted, shaking my finger at him as though he were a naughty child.

He rolled his eyes, pulling a bunch of notes from his pocket. He handed me the money and snatched the container from my hands, pulling the lid off and throwing it down on a nearby bench. He drank it in one go, licking his lips to get every drop when he was done. 'I feel better already,' he sighed.

'Good for you.'

We stood in silence for a moment, standing awkwardly around a metre apart. 'I should say...What I mean is...'

'Don't mention it,' I said, getting his meaning. 'Ever.' Silence fell over us again. I caught myself fiddling with my bracelet, something which I found strange. I only did it when I was nervous. 'Can I ask something?'

'Hmm?'

'Can you bite if it's...well, offered?' I asked, stumbling over my words.

He looked at me, a dark eyebrow raised. 'You mean, if someone just sort of shows their neck off and asks if I'm hungry?'

'Well I wouldn't put it like that…'

'I don't know. Never tried that approach before,' he admitted with a shrug, ignoring my fumbling. 'Why?' he asked with a smirk, looking straight into my eyes. 'Think I'm still hungry?'

I felt a blush trying to creep across my cheeks, but I managed to cover it. 'Well no, after that earlier display, but I just wondered if you'd ever considered that option.'

The smirk dimmed a little. 'I hadn't.'

'Not brutal enough for you?'

He nodded thoughtfully before glancing at the empty container in his hands. 'Not really, but I am drinking blood from a tub…'

I laughed. He looked at me with a frown. 'Sorry.'

'Don't worry. I'm used to it now.'

'Still, maybe you should look at that as an option. I mean, you can't kill them because we'll come after you but at least you'd get a more…satisfying meal.' I couldn't believe that I'd said it but there was no taking it back.

'So I should seduce some lonely girl, drink my share and then sod off?'

'I guess it could work.'

He stepped closer, coming to stand only inches from me. I had to look up to see his eyes. He smirked, moving forward so that our bodies touched for a moment. I backed away, straight into a wall. 'I guess it could,' he murmured, his voice dropping to a deep, husky tone as he put a hand on either side of my head, leaning in so his eyes were level with mine. 'Are you willing to volunteer as a test?'

My thoughts suddenly became very unclear. 'Uh...Spike...'

He tilted his head to the side, placing his lips against my jaw line and grasping my neck with his hand. He wove his fingers into my hair, pulling my head back to place his lips against my neck. 'It's looking quite promising so far,' he whispered. His tongue flicked over my skin, leaving a tingling trail to my collarbone, causing my knees to shake. 'Very promising.'

'Stop,' I tried to order, but it came out as barely a whisper. His lips retraced their path from my collarbone, coming to rest for a moment at the base of my neck. I raised my hands and placed them on his shoulders, intent on pushing him away, but I just tilted my head back further and held onto his coat as though my life depended on it. His tongue circled my pulse and as his teeth grazed my skin, I knew I was pulling him closer, my mind was screaming this to me. But I didn't stop, even when his mouth clasped around my neck.

Spike screamed, throwing himself away from me with, his hands gripping his head. He slammed into a table before stopping and falling to his knees. He yelled a string of curses, slowly dropping his hands to the floor.

I took a deep breath, regaining my sanity now that there was distance between us. 'That was a pretty big failure.'

He looked up, smiling wickedly as he stood slowly. 'Not completely.'

I looked down as a blush crept over my cheeks. I pulled some paper and a pen from my pocket, scribbling on it hastily before I walked over to him.

'What's this?' he asked.

'Your salvation from trick or treating to get blood,' I said as I dropped it into his hand and headed for the door, opening it before I stopped and looked back. 'Now go.'

He read it as he walked over, pausing in front of me. 'This has your phone number and address on it,' he smirked, leaning towards me. 'Hoping to try again?'

'Goodbye Spike,' I snarled, pushing him out the door and slamming it in his bewildered face.

'I'll call you. Thanks for a great night,' he called through the door, laughing.

'Next time I'll make it a great day. Just remember sunscreen!' I didn't move until his laughter had faded into the distance. I sighed, sliding to sit with my back against to door.

Three weeks went by. Every couple of days I got a call from Spike asking for blood. I would meet him at the butchers and the transaction would take place with only a small amount of talk. After the first time I wanted to be careful that I didn't get myself into such a stupid situation, whether he could bite or not. In that short moment I was so vulnerable and I hadn't even cared.

'You look incredibly distracted,' Xander said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. 'Anything you want to talk about?'

'No,' I lied. In truth, I wanted to tell him that I'd been helping Spike. Actually, I didn't really want to but I felt I should. He was my best friend after all. 'I'm just a bit out of it. My uncle had me do a massive amount of number crunching today.'

'He certainly makes use of your mad maths skills,' he said.

'Doesn't everyone?' I laughed, sipping at my coffee. 'Anyway, I shouldn't complain. He's always there when I need him and he pays me way more than I deserve.'

'He's your uncle. He's bound to spoil you a little.'

I looked up at the sky, staring at the stars. 'I know, but sometimes I wonder if he's trying to make up for Mum and Dad.'

'You know what I think?' He said, taking my hand. 'I think he'd be exactly the same, even if they were here.'

I smiled. 'Maybe.' We stayed like that for a minute, just until my mobile phone rang, buzzing in my pocket. 'Hold on,' I said, grabbing it. 'Hello?'

'I'm hungry,' Spike growled on the other end of the line. 'Could you meet me?'

'I'm out right now,' I said, angry at his ordering.

He sighed, his tone softening. 'Please.'

'Fine,' I hung up, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. 'Sorry Xan, I have to go.'

'Really?' He looked at his watch. 'Oh crap. I'm supposed to meet Anya.'

'I'll see you later,' I said, hugging him before we both went our different ways.

'You're lucky that Xander had to meet Anya,' I said, pointing menacingly at Spike as he came into view. 'Now come get your blood so I can go home.'

'You're unusually feisty,' he said, walking into the shop. He paused for a moment in the doorway next to me, looking down at me, a small smile on his lips.

'I am not in the mood for your commentary,' I sighed, moving away from him and over to the fridge. I opened it, handing him a couple of containers and a paper bag.

'Are you in the mood for anything else, Pet?' he asked, his voice suddenly smooth, as though her were trying to be seductive.

'Very funny,' I snarled, handing him the container, trying not to admit that it was a seductive tone. His fingertips brushed mine as he took it from me and I heard my breath catch. 'Just, um...just give me the money and get out of my sight.'

'Kitten is angry tonight.' He smirked as he handed me a couple of notes.

'Don't ever call me that again,' I said, snatching the money from him carefully.

'Whatever,' he said, walking through the door. He paused in the street for a moment, looking back at me. I couldn't decipher the emotions that flickered across his face in the moment our eyes met, but I knew that they were odd somehow, confused. He opened his mouth for a moment, like he wanted to say something, but instead he just smiled, waved and sauntered off, reaching into the bag and grabbing a container. He pulled the lid off of it and tossed it into the gutter.

It was then that I realised that I was still watching him. I walked through the door and slammed it behind me. I locked up and started walking down the street faster than necessary. I had no where that I needed to be, yet the pace seemed to be helping me somehow. By the time I reached my apartment, I felt a little better. I still wasn't sure why I needed to feel better, but I did.

I threw my coat onto the floor, falling onto my bed and looking up at the plain white ceiling. Soon I was asleep, but it wasn't restful, because in my dreams I saw Spike. In my dreams he wasn't a demon.

The exchanges between Spike and I had been happening for almost five months. They were generally silent now. I kept my eyes away from Spike as well, knowing that I might not look away if I didn't. His eyes always seemed to be on me though, watching me with the same expression I had first seen that night in the first weeks. If our eyes had met I was afraid of what he would see in them.

I was watching TV when there was a knock at my door. I switched the screen off and walked over to it. 'Who is it?'

'The bloody tooth fairy,' Spike said sourly.

I undid the lock and opened the door. 'What do you want?'

'You gave me your address.'

'So you thought you'd just pop in for a chat?'

He looked down at his feet for a moment. 'Well, yeah.'

'Seriously, what are you doing here?' I asked, rolling my eyes to avoid his gaze.

'I just want to talk,' he said. 'Can't I talk?'

I folded my arms over my chest, leaning against the door frame. 'Talk.'

'What, here?' He glanced around.

'Is there a problem?'

'No, I just...' He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. 'Can I please come in?'

I turned, walking away from the door and towards the kitchen. 'Whatever.'

'I need a little more than that,' he mumbled, still standing at the entrance, his hands in his pockets.

'Come in,' I said, emphasising the words. 'That must be a pain in the ass, having to get an invite.'

'You have no idea,' he said, stepping over the threshold.

'Also, don't wear a hole in the floor,' I said, taking a can of lemonade from the fridge as I listened to his footsteps, his heavy boots thudding against the carpet.

He looked up. 'What?'

I pointed at his feet. 'You're pacing,' I said. 'If you go through the floor, you're coming up with the excuse and you're paying for the cost of the repairs.' He rolled his eyes and continued to stride gracefully back and forth across the room. Wait, gracefully? I shook my head and took another sip of my drink. 'You said you wanted to talk,' I said, trying to distract myself. 'What did you want to talk about?'

'Have you ever been in one of those situations where you know that it could be a disaster but you just want to bury yourself in it further?'

'Uh,' I started. 'Maybe, why?'

'I'm sort of in one of those situations.'

'You want to know what confuses me.'

'What?'

'How and why this involves me.'

He stopped again, looking at me with a strange expression. 'There is a reason,' he assured me.

'Good. What is it?'

'There's this girl.'

I felt a tinge of jealousy rip through me. I took a breath. 'And you like this girl?'

He nodded slowly, looking at his feet. 'Yeah. A lot.'

I took another sip of my lemonade, watching him fidget with the cuff of his leather coat. 'And how am I supposed to help?'

'You could tell me how I should tell her.'

'You could try being honest.'

'And if I'm too scared?'

'Then you're in a lot of trouble.'

'Oh.' He scratched his head thoughtfully. 'So basically, I be honest and just tell her, or I don't say a thing at all? Tough gig.'

'Mm,' I agreed.

'I guess I'll just have to be honest then.' He came closer, standing only a foot away. He put his hands on my shoulders for a moment, staring at me intently. 'I want you. Hell, I need you more than I've ever needed anything.'

I blinked, staring at him with wide eyes as I tried to process the information he had just blurted out. 'Spike...What are you saying?'

'For Christ sake Ella, I'm telling you that I love you!'

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. 'No, no, no,' I said as I tried to keep a hold of the rational thoughts that were trying to escape.

'But it's true,' he said, holding my face in his hands. 'Please look at me.'

I kept my eyes shut tight, repeating thoughts in my head, telling me that I was asleep. I was dreaming and I needed to wake up, even though every particle of my existence wished it were real. 'It's a lie,' I said, more to myself. 'It's just a dream, telling me what I want to hear, tormenting me so that when I wake it can tear it all from beneath me.'

'What are you talking about?' Spike asked.

I looked at him. 'I'm dreaming, that's all. None of this is happening. You didn't say those words. You're not even here,' I said, feeling a small amount of hysteria creep into my voice. 'I'm asleep in my bed and soon I'm going to wake up to that same empty feeling I've had ever since that first night.'

'The night when I tried to bite you?'

'The night when I wanted you to bite me,' I said. It was only a dream after all. I could tell him anything and he'd be none the wiser when I woke up.

Spike's face went blank. 'You…you wanted me to bite you?'

'It's not like you think,' I said, trying to think of the words to explain it. 'I didn't want you to feed on me, I'm not into that. I just wanted–'

'Me.' He was still staring at me, shock on his face. 'Are you saying...?'

'I've dreamt about you almost every night for a month, but…'

Spike leaned closer. 'But what?'

'But in my dreams you weren't…you weren't how Buffy and the others have made you out to be.'

'A monster,' he whispered, stepping back slightly. 'I wasn't a monster.'

'I wish I'd seen how wrong they are earlier.'

'You don't think I'm a monster?'

'I know that you're not a monster,' I said, stepping forward. I took his hand, looking down as our fingers entwined.

He looked down as well, a small smile coming over his lips as he tightened his grip. 'Do you still think you're dreaming?' he asked softly.

'Yes.'

Spike let out a frustrated groan before winding his hand into my hair and pulling me towards him. He crushed his lips to mine, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. I melted against him, grabbing his coat and pulling him closer. He pulled back, giving me a chance to catch my breath. 'Still dreaming?'

I pushed his coat from his shoulders, hooking his elbows for a moment. 'No,' I said as I grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him back in. I heard the heavy leather coat drop to the ground and then the red shirt followed, leaving only a black sleeveless top covering his torso. Before I could rid him of it he'd pulled my singlet top from my body and thrown it across the room, his lips barely leaving mine in the process.

I pulled the final piece of clothing from his torso and dropped it to the ground before resting my hands on his shoulders for a moment, feeling the muscles contract as he wrapped his arms around me again. 'I'm glad you've finally joined me in the real world.' His voice had dropped to a deep, delicious, husky tone as he kissed a line along my jaw and down my neck, pausing for a moment to graze his teeth along my collarbone.

I let my head fall back as I trailed my hands down his spine, feeling every toned muscle down to his hips. I stopped at the hem of his pants, slipping a finger beneath the band. He took in a sharp breath as I slid my hands around to the front, undoing the button slowly.

He growled deep in his throat, making me pause. 'What was that?'

'A warning,' he said with the same low growl.

'For what?'

He pulled his lips away from my ear, coming back just far enough to look straight into my eyes. 'Don't stop.'

He kissed me again as I pulled the zip down. I bit his bottom lip, holding it between my teeth as I pulled him onto the bed. His toned form landed on top of me with a small gasp of surprise before his lips continued their delicious onslaught on mine. He kicked his dark jeans off along with his boots. All the while, his tongue stroked mine, making me moan into his mouth.

He broke the kiss to move down my body. He moved lower and lower, his hands unzipping my jeans as he trailed the end of his tongue to the top of my panties, flicking it under the hem. I gasped and he repeated the action, my back arching slightly as he pulled my trousers down my legs, tracing the bare skin as it was revealed with his hands.

He pulled himself against me as he slid up my body. He kissed me with even more hunger than before. 'Tell me what you want,' he growled as his hand slipped beneath the hem, his finger searching for my centre. A long finger stroked me, eliciting a moan that I could hardly believe came from my body. 'Tell me what you need.'

I looked straight into his eyes. 'You.'

He let out another throaty growl. There was a rip and his hips ground against mine, but he didn't enter. 'How much?' he asked, increasing the pressure.

'More than anything,' I whispered.

The words had barely escaped my lips when he raised himself on his arms and thrust deep inside me. My whole body arched as a sensation of complete fullness washed over me.

When I opened my eyes he was looking down at me, the guards that he had hid behind earlier had been torn down and I realised that I'd never felt more complete in my life. 'Okay, Pet?' he asked in a low voice. For my answer, I wove my fingers into his no longer perfectly gelled hair and pulled him into a kiss more sweet that any that I had ever tasted, only pulling away when he started to thrust.

I let my head fall back into the pillows, my fingers gripping his forearms as he grazed his teeth along my neck, pausing only to trail his tongue slowly over my pulse. It was racing and I could hear my heart as though it was beating beside my ear, singing a melody to Spike that urged him on.

'More.' I was surprised to hear myself say it, but I was too preoccupied with the feelings that his flesh caused to care. He groaned onto my skin as he complied, thrusting harder and faster with each stroke until my moans were almost screams. He moved a hand lower, gripping my hip. I wrapped my arms around him, dragging my fingernails down his spine so hard that I felt his skin break beneath them.

'Spike,' I cried as my orgasm hit me, shaking my body. He moaned and shuddered as I tightened around him. The moment seemed to go on forever as though time had stopped. He looked straight into my eyes, letting out a strangled cry as he released just when my orgasm came to its final, amazing moments.

His arms gave out and he dropped down on top of me. He kissed my collarbone as he pulled out of me, rolling onto his side. His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against him, placing soft kisses down my neck and along my shoulder. I rolled to face him, holding him tightly and snuggling into his chiselled chest. We lay there for a while and I used the time to catch my breath.

'You have no idea how many times I've imagined you calling my name like that,' he whispered, his breath tickling my ear.

'I have a feeling that I've imagined calling it just as many times.'

He almost seemed to purr as he kissed me. 'You tease,' he murmured against my lips. I could feel his smirk.

'You like it.'

'Fuck yes,' he admitted. I leaned in as though going to whisper in his ear but instead took the lobe between my teeth. I felt his entire body shiver. 'You're cruel.'

'Make love to me again and I'll show you just how cruel I can be.'

In a second he was on top of me. 'Is that a challenge?' he growled throatily.

I licked my lips and watched as his eyes followed the action. 'Yes. Make me scream again.'

He kissed me until my heart threatened to leap out of my chest. 'I promise you, Pet, by the time I'm done with you, you're barely going to be able to speak.'