A Zen Fairytale

Zen emphasizes experientialprajñā, particularly as realized in the form of meditation, in the attainment of enlightenment. As such, it de-emphasizes theoreticalknowledge in favor of direct, experiential realization through meditation and dharma practice.

So exactly what part of zen did Steven Hyde practice? He was up at five, gone all day at work, and when he was home, it was his time with little Stevie. He always moaned and groaned at the cheesy nickname, but secretly, he liked it. And to be honest, would have never thought of it himself.
So he worked for The Man? So he no longer had time for beer and weed anymore? So he traded dinky part-time jobs for a dinky fake car salesman job? In the end, it was well worth the trade for Jackie and the baby.
He definitely hated his real parents. For the longest time, he'd tried to justify their abandoning him, somehow. In some way, maybe they weren't bad people. Now he knew better. Much better. Not for all the freedom in the world would he leave his family. There wasn't a bargain good enough.
Even if they did struggle a bit to make ends meet now and then, and argue once in a while over whose turn it was to bathe the baby, life was just so…zen.
"She's all yours," Jackie said, passing him the ten-month old baby girl. "I'm going to meet Donna for drinks. See you …well, whenever I'm done ranting about you." She said this with a big smile.
"Whatever." Steven replied, already staring into the big deep eyes of his daughter. She had a little round face like Jackie, and dark eyes to match. Her hair, on the other hand, sprung out of her head in a zillion little light brown curls.
"Bye!" Jackie kissed them both, and then skipped out the door.
Stephanie watched her mother go, and then turned back to her father, grinning toothlessly. She proceeded with her usual ritual, slowly reaching for his face and feeling his prickly skin. He promised himself to re-grow a beard, but it'd have to wait until he could find a job that wouldn't turn him away for looking so rugged.
After running her tiny hands all over his face, she laughed out loud, and Steven kissed her. He carried her over to the couch and flipped on the TV. He pretended to be interested in the game, but his eyes continued to drift down, and the corners of his mouth continued to drift up. Stevie cooed and sighed, and wrapped her little fingers around his big ones, fingering his wedding ring.
Maybe this was zen. After all, what enlightened him more than this little…creation, something nobody else but him and Jackie could have made. Something just as beautiful as his Jackie, and just as precious. Just as loud and demanding, also, but what the hell? He liked it that way.
He fumbled blindly for the remote and lowered the volume on the television set. He maneuvered himself into a laying position and propped Stevie up on his stomach. He held her little hands in his, and she bounced slightly. He could almost hear her mother's voice squawking, "Did you get me a present?! Is this about me?!"
"Wanna hear a story?" He asked her, in his gruff, but affectionate tone.
Stevie grinned even bigger and bounced again. Her big dark eyes, unblinking. Steven cleared his throat and said, "Alright. This is a story about a princess. Do you like princesses?"
Stevie squealed happily and blew spit bubbles.
"Of course you do," her father shrugged. "You are one." He shifted. "Okay, so there was once this beautiful princess named Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart. Remember, that middle name is Beulah." He wagged his finger at her, making her entire little arm wobble. "Anyway, Princess Jackie was incredibly spoiled and a big brat. Nobody liked her. Not even her parents, probably."
Stevie's bottom lip quivered. Steven sighed through his nose and waved the idea dismissively.
"Fine," he said. "Her parents liked her, but really, I was serious about the nobody else liking her part. She was too mean and full of herself." He thought for a moment, his tongue in his cheek. "Well, she happened to start dating a prince-an idiotic prince who was equally self-centered and obnoxious. That's why monarchies failed, you know. They had no choice but to let idiots rule the kingdom."
Stevie's brows furrowed. Steven frowned. "Okay, so the princess wasn't an idiot, just…ditzy." He moved his hand in a semi-circle. "But this prince had some friends, and he let his new princess hang out with them-against their will."
Stevie made a half moan, half groaning sound. Her father nodded, understanding. "I know, they didn't know what to do with her. Especially the prince's right-hand man. He couldn't stand this girl. She was just way too shallow and annoying."
He paused for a moment, staring into space. "He put up with her for a long time…a really long time…and over time, he figured out that maybe she wasn't so bad, and then he decided he actually kind of liked her-even if she was bossy and spoiled and demanding." He smiled at the baby. "So what do you think happened?"
Stevie drooled. Her father continued, "Well, the prince thing didn't really work out because he was a loser to begin with and treated her badly anyway, and this friend was too proud to admit he liked her. So he was kind of a moron too because a lot of chances were lost to get with her." He stared into space again, brushing his fingers against the soft, chubby arms.
"Then there was this one time when some village asshole called the princess a bitch, and the friend punched him in the jaw, and then went on a date with the princess, and he kissed her that night…" his voice got quiet. "And that's when he knew what fairytale love was all about, and he secretly liked it."
Stevie yawned and rubbed at her eyes. Her father duly noted the cue and stood up, holding her against his chest. He changed her diaper, swapped her frilly dress for some equally frilly PJs, and carried her to her super frilly crib. He patted her softly, standing over her, and continued on with the story.
"They had their ups and downs for a few years, but they were happy. Then one day the spoiled princess told her new prince- who refused to be called a prince because it's conformist-that they were going to have a baby."
He stopped patting her, her breathing heavy and slow, and leaned on the crib rail, staring at her vanity. On the counter sat a framed photo of himself, wrapping his arms around a swollen-bellied Jackie, icy rain giving them trembling smiles.
"When this princess had the baby, the prince cried. He never told anyone, but while he waited in the royal waiting room, he bawled like a baby. Just like one of those squawking newborns in the nursery. He wasn't sad, though. He was so friggin' happy. "
He looked up at the ceiling. "When he held the new little princess for the first time, he decided he did believe in happily ever afters, even if he didn't have the right job or car."
Stevie stirred slightly and Steven covered her up. As he leaned down to kiss her, he stroked some of her springy curls and said quietly, "He had the perfect princesses, and that was cool." He stared at her for a few seconds, watching her sleep.
"So is that how it ended?"
He almost jumped as he turned his head. Jackie smiled at him, walking over to peer at the sleeping baby as well. She tossed her hair slightly, leaning down to kiss her. She then smiled up at her husband and kissed him too.
"How much did you hear?" Steven asked, between kisses.
"Does it matter?" His wife raised her eyebrows. "It was about me and Stevie."
"Says who?"
"Says you?"
"Says me…"
"Cool."
"Whatever."
They left the room, their arms around each other. Jackie kicked off her shoes and snuggled up beside him on the sofa. They listened to the traffic outside, the wind outside, their own breathing inside. Nothing on TV or the radio could compare.
"Steven?"
"Mmhmm?"
"Tell me a story."
"Once upon a time, there was this really spoiled princess…"

The End