Tiny Hands
Summary: Even the smallest thing can bring someone fear. For Kratos, it made him afraid of himself...until that tiny hand wrapped around his finger.
Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.
Fear. ...
"Look. Isn't he beautiful?" she asked.
Concerned: An anxious feeling...
"He looks just like you. Just like his daddy." She smiled
To be uneasy or apprehensive...
"Do you want to hold him?" she looked up.
An emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger...
"No." He answered.
--
Anna's face fell and Kratos shook his head. "I do not wish to wake him."
It was an excuse and Kratos knew she saw through it. He stared that the blanket cradled in Anna's arms. The child didn't move, it didn't scream; it didn't cry. It slept peacefully.
Anna closed her eyes wearily. Kratos walked around the edge of the bed and seated himself next to her. She leaned her head against him, sighing. "I am sorry, Kratos."
He looked down at her in surprise. "What for?"
Anna turned her head up, a tired smile on her features. "For bringing fear into your life."
Kratos frowned. "Fear of what?"
"Of your son."
Kratos didn't answer, but his eyes fell on the child beneath the blanket. The baby's face was visible and the tiny closed fists rested near its cheeks. Its expression was one of frustration and beneath the closed lids, the baby's eyes moved.
"I am not afraid," he replied finally, turning his gaze back to Anna.
Anna smiled knowingly, and turned her face down to the baby. She slid her finger up, caressing the baby's cheeks, his nose. Kratos watched silently, though his hand twitched. He closed it into a fist.
"Are you sure you don't want to hold him?"
"Yes," Kratos replied, watching Anna.
She shook her head, confused and smiled down at their son. "It is hard to believe we are parents." Kratos didn't answer and Anna smiled. "I bet you never imagined having a son."
Kratos met her gaze. He had never even considered it. In all logic, it shouldn't be possible, yet here he was, with Anna and their son. It seemed...strange.
Anna eyes wandered over Kratos' face. "What?" he asked. She shook her head and leaned her head back on his arm.
"I am a little frightened to be honest," she murmured. "I don't even know how to raise a child."
Kratos nodded. "That is understandable. All women share that same concern."
Anna bit her lip. "I guess." She stroked their son's hair gently. "You will be a wonderful father too."
Kratos stiffened slightly, but Anna didn't notice. She kissed the baby's head softly. "Are you sure you don't want to hold him?"
"Yes," Kratos repeated, staring at his son again. Anna looked disappointed, but didn't press. Their son's tiny fists clenched tighter as Anna shifted.
Kratos frowned, but kept his gaze on the baby in her arms. She stood and started rocking him in her arms and he clenched his fist again, tensing. Anna caught the movement and looked at him curiously. "Are you nervous?"
"Of what?" he replied emotionlessly, forcing himself to take his eyes off the baby.
Anna smirked. "You think I will drop him."
"I do not," Kratos answered.
Anna shrugged and started swaying again, rocking the baby. Kratos tensed at her arm movements and she giggled. "I knew it."
Kratos cleared his throat. "I am concerned about your balance, Anna. You are still tired."
Anna narrowed her eyes, studying him with a grin. "You are right. I am tired. So I want you to hold him for me, while I get some rest."
Kratos froze.
--
Fear...
"You can lay him down beside you." Kratos offered.
Is usually momentary and sudden...
"You know I toss and turn when I sleep." Anna chided, still smiling. "Just hold him."
Is aroused by the realization of danger...
"I do not believe this is a good idea." Kratos stood, but refrained from backing up as Anna walked towards him.
Is paralyzing, a feeling of helplessness...
"Come on, Kratos. He can't hurt you." Anna laughed.
Robs one of courage and power...
"But I can hurt him." Kratos finished.
--
Anna stopped and her eyes widened for a moment. Kratos looked away in shame. Anna frowned and glanced from Kratos to the baby. "You would never hurt him, Kratos."
"But what if I did." Kratos replied, still avoiding her gaze. "He isn't able to defend himself."
Anna's gaze hardened. "Let me rephrase that. You could never hurt him, Kratos. He is your son."
Kratos turned and faced her. His eyes were angry, but it was anger at himself. "How could you know that?"
"Because..." Anna said. She stepped forward then and pressed the baby against him. Kratos' eyes widened and his hands instinctively rose up and cupped around the baby. What was Anna thinking? How could she place the baby in such a position? What if the baby tipped or—?
"Anna!" he called her name desperately as her hands fell from the baby and she stepped back. Kratos instantly slid his arm around the child and brought it closer to his chest. Panic rushed through him and his eyes fastened on Lloyd. A flitting image flew across his mind of his son falling to the ground and he adjusted his arms around his son, securing him.
"Because..." Anna repeated quietly. "...because you love him and would do anything to protect him."
Kratos' heart raced and he held his breath. His eyes remained wide and fixated on his son's face. He could feel the warm through the blanket, could hear the small heart-beat. His son's eyes tightened and a small closed fist lifted. Kratos watched in amazement as his son's little mouth opened and yawned.
Anna smiled. "You could never let yourself hurt him, Kratos. You don't have to be afraid."
Afraid...
Kratos' eyes softened as their son's fists shook. He was so light, weightless. Kratos tightened his grip. His heart beat slowed and a small smile made it to his lips.
"He needs a name." Anna whispered and Kratos looked up to see her lying down on the bed, watching them tiredly. "Do you know any good ones?"
Kratos blinked and looked down at his son. "Perhaps."
Anna smiled. "I want his name to have a meaning, something that he can grow up into, like yours." She leaned up on her arm. "What was it again? Strength?"
"Yes."
Anna nodded. "Do you know any like that?"
Kratos frowned, feeling his son moving slightly in his arms. "I know a few. What would you like it to mean?"
Anna looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, I want him to be smart."
"Smart?" Kratos looked at her in confusion.
She nodded. "I want him to be able to know the difference between right and wrong. I don't want him to never feel trapped or discouraged because something gets in his way." She smiled. "I want him to never think something is impossible. That there is always a way."
Kratos mused. "There are two names that I know of."
Anna smiled. "Well?"
"Kane, which means intelligence." Anna scrunched up her nose and he chuckled. "But there is also Lloyd."
Anna blinked. "Lloyd...does it mean the same thing." She asked as Kratos walked towards her, very slowly. His eyes stayed on the baby, who had seemingly fallen asleep again. He didn't want to jostle him.
"No, Lloyd means wisdom." He sat on the edge of the bed, still cradling his son. Anna raised herself up, peering over Kratos' arm to look at their son.
Anna smiled. "What do you think? Should he be wise or intelligent? You pick."
Kratos frowned, watching his son. He was so small, so tiny, that Kratos could hardly believe he would grow up to be a man one day. But he knew it would happen and when it did, he did not want his son making his mistakes. He didn't want his son to regret his past as Kratos did. He wanted his son to believe in the things Anna had said.
He turned to Anna, but found her eyes closed, breathing softly as she leaned against him, the exhaustion finally overcoming her. He smiled at her, before turning back to his child.
"Lloyd," He said quietly.
The baby's hands jerked and lifted, his face scrunching up as he tilted his head towards Kratos' voice. Kratos blinked and then slipped one hand from beneath his son, cradling him in his other arm. Taking one finger, he pressed it against his son's open palm.
Instantly the tiny fingers closed around his finger, gripping it tightly. They didn't even make it all the way around.
Fear....
Kratos smiled.
Is overcome by love...
"Lloyd," he whispered again.
I was in the mood for something cute. A father –son moment.
So let me know what you think.
Please Review.