Note: This is just something I couldn't get out of my mind in regards to the episode airing tomorrow.

It's been mentioned before on the show that Sam attends therapy - hence the location for the fic.

iHate Speed Dating

Sam was a little more irritated than usual, as she crossed her legs again, spread out on the couch. "Hey, you know that kid? Freddie?"

The therapist blinked at her, expecting Sam to finally blurt out how her mother made her feel without resorting to a line about meat. This was clearly unexpected. "The boy from iCarly - you said you were having problems with Carly because of him?"

"Because he's a nub." Her hands drummed on her stomach, sometimes it was a relief her therapist didn't watch the webshow.

The therapist knew to clearly avoid the 'k' word ever since Sam told her about it and Carly's reaction to finding out about it. When her therapist tried to probe for more on the dreaded 'k' word, Sam flew off the handle and yelled at her until she stopped. Hardly a mature way to handle things but the girl knew how to get what she wanted and it was carefully avoided since.

"So how is that going now?"

Sam continued to gaze upward, not daring to look at her therapist, any hidden emotion she was feeling was going to stay hidden by avoidance, mentionings of meat or being sure to not give anything away by her eyes.

"It's goin'" She paused for a few seconds. "That nub decided to throw himself into Carly and I's whole speed date idea to get himself a date with Carly..."

"Did it work?" The therapist sounded generally curious about it, Sam refrained from the temptation to throw her a dirty look and continued gazing upward.

She recalled what happened in her mind, eyes still open but thoughts drifting.

She'd been there with the timer to make sure that each guy got their fair share (and Freddie didn't), ready to press on a loud obnoxious buzzer when the time was up. Freddie had sat down in front of Carly with that goofy, hopeful expression that Sam had swore he had been losing as he woke up to reality - apparently she was wrong. Ready to hit the buzzer she stood nearby and let Freddie get a question in. "So what did you want to ask?"

"I guess I already know everything already."

"So that's it?"

"Well, no. About you kissing Sam..."

"You're still on that?" He groaned.

"I just assumed you liked it and I want to be even, I mean try it. Want to try it."

The nub was dumbfounded. "Are you serious?"

"We are on a date aren't we?"

Freddie just gaped at her.

"Well lean!" OK, that was a little familiar... and Sam had to stop staring herself and DO something about what was happening before it... happened. But what?

They were leaning and then BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

"Sorry Fredward, all out of time. Don't let the door hit you on the way..." she opened the door with gusto and threw him out of the iCarly 'studio', "out."

"Alright. We know who you're not going to date, let's bring in someone you do want to date" Sam continued, with a false smile at Carly. Stupid Freddie - it was all his fault even if she was the stupid one to tell Carly the secret in the first place.

"So did it work?" The therapist asked again.

"Turns out she decided to go dateless anyway. Decided to make me feel better since I didn't have a date."

"Too bad for your friend Freddie."

"Yeah, too bad. Not like he ever had a chance anyway, but I'm sure someone out there in that big whole web world was rooting for him."

"So you wanted him to get together with Carly?"

"No. I just thought it'd be an interesting thing to talk about that's all. You want me to talk don't ya? Isn't that what you're getting paid for?"

"We can talk about anything you want to."

"Good. I want steak. Free stuff... but not rare. Parasites." Finally she turned to give the therapist a knowing smile (as the woman had already heard the parasite story several times), back on comfortable talking ground but next time anyone brought up an idea for speed dating, Sam would quick to shoot it down.

Wow. I haven't written a drabble in a very long time!

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