-1Chapter Five: Seven Day Countdown: Mama, Who Am I?

He peered at her in the dark hallway, taking a minute to adjust his eye. And when he spoke his voice was quiet, but his tone clearly stated he was enraged, much to his own surprise, "The Uchiha fan..?" he questioned, "What the hell does that mean..?!"

"One of two things: Sasuke, or Itachi." Tsunade muttered unsurely, before going on a little more positively, "Either way its good, right? She'll succeed with the mission."

"Or.." Jiraiya added his own two pence, "She's half Uchiha."

"Stop talking nonsense Jiraiya."

That couldn't be true, Kakashi told himself. Sakura's mother was only ever involved with one Uchiha, even so, it was not sexually. But that could explain why Sakura didn't know who her father was. The relationship could have been a secret, and eight years later, he was massacred.

It was possible in some ways, he realised, but not others.

"She doesn't have the sharingan." he stated, his temper cooling.

"Not everyone is you, Kakashi, or a Sasuke, or Itachi even. If she doesn't know she's got it, it would take longer to activate."

Kakashi felt a shiver down his spine as the toad sannin spoke, just the thought of his raven-haired student opened up a mirador of bottled emotions; especially after what he had just witnessed in Sakura's room. He didn't know what it was but he would find time to think about that later.

"Jiraiya, you know its impossible. Sakura's mother wasn't associated with the Uchiha's." Tsunade's voice was stern; perhaps she would be on Kakashi's side of the disagreement.

"I'm building plot here." he laughed, "Stop ruining my creative spunk."

"Very funny Jiraiya." she said sarcastically. "Now Kakashi, she needs something to cover that neck, for obvious reasons, could you find something."

"Aa." and with that he set off, his mind in a disarray.

"What did you see yesterday, Kakashi?" Tsunade asked curiously from where she lounged on the foot of Sakura's bed. "And don't say nothing."

"Sakura's dream." he answered truthfully from the chair beside her bed, where he had slept the night, or tried to anyway. He had sat up for hours and hours going over what he originally suspected to be Genjutsu, and came to the conclusion that he was an onlooker trapped in Sakura's dream.

"Yume..?" she sounded confused. "How..?"

"I have no idea." he said no more.

"Well, do tell." she sounded intrigued, as she crossed one leg over the other leaning forward.

"No, Tsunade-sama." he refused respectfully. He knew he was going to hear a 'why?' so he though it best to answer it before she even asked. "Its an invasion of privacy, and I feel bad enough."

"Fair, enough." she spoke after a moment. "But if I may ask, was it to do with the mission? I want to help her Kakashi, but she's hiding something from me, and I only want to know what it is so I can help."

"She feels that she's going to fail the mission." was all he said, though it was clear that there was more, he didn't go on.

"I see. Well that's surprising, she's such a strong willed individual, I never thought that.."

"That she was a normal teenager, with a teenagers thoughts and feelings; the self doubts, not just work wise, but image wise as well."

"Kakashi.." Tsunade spoke softly.

"I don't think she can handle this mission, she's too soft hearted, too frail minded. There going to trick her, test her, and play with her mind, Tsunade-sama. These are just a few of the things she's already thought about. And when she wakes up, I just hope she doesn't break."

"..be there for her, that's all we can do. She had her chance to pull back Kakashi, and she still does. If she wants out, she's out." she tried to explain.

"But she wont." he went on a little more heatedly as he stood, fists clenched at his side, "She wont back out and she wont quit, because her friends, comrades, and the village mean more to her than her own life."

"And that's why she's a shinobi of Konoha, Kakashi." she spoke wisely, but fiercely; and he knew she was right.

"I know." he admitted, sullenly, after a beat of silence.

"It's her job, and she's damn good at it. Don't doubt her just yet, because if you do, it will only give her more reason to doubt herself." with that Tsunade got up and left.

"Kakashi..?" Sakura spoke groggily. She had kept her eyes closed when she woke, sensing her surroundings as she came back to reality.

"I'm here." he spoke, and she could feel him grip her hand as he slid to her side.

"Did it work?"

"Yes." he answered, but there was something in his voice she couldn't discern.

"Good. What time is it? How long have I been out?" her eyes fluttered open, as she looked at him slightly unfocused.

"Its only half ten. You've not even been out a day." he replied, "Glad to have you back."

He smiled behind his mask, she could see, but it didn't reach his eyes, there was no crinkle. Something must have happened whilst she was out, but what..?

"What's the matter?" she asked trying to sit up.

"Nothing, don't worry about me. How are you feeling?" he asked offering his assistance.

"Fine, just a bit groggy, but that's usual." she smiled, as he sat her upright, and then went on to fluff her pillows.

She wasn't in the same room she had last been in, she noticed. She lay on a bed, instead of a table for one. She seemed to be in an in-patient room. There was a small window with bars on the outside, to prevent accidents she knew. There was a bedside table and a wardrobe. She saw the shiny cover of Kakashi's book on the table, and smiled.

"How long have you been here?" she was curious.

"Since I found you yesterday." he answered, "I've been in and out."

"Arigatou, Sempai."

"No problem." his smile almost reached his eyes then, but only for a split second.

Her emerald gaze found what they were looking for. A small door to the bathroom. She was just itching to see what her seal would look like and not to mention she needed a shower. She swung her legs off the side of the bed, and the cold air attacked her viciously. It was freezing. She squirmed, and pulled herself back in the duvet. Her gaze roved over it. It wasn't one she recognised.

"Kakashi-sempai?" she looked at him questioningly.

"Think its Tsunade's, its not mine." he said amusedly.

"Oh." She laughed, she should have known. It was black with pink and blue flowers imprinted across the fabric with a big yellow sun, a silver bird flying above. She traced them with her fingers nostalgically. She was the pink flower, Sasuke the blue bud, Naruto the bright sun, and Kakashi the wise bird. She wanted to keep it, to take it with her when she went, and maybe she would. "Pretty isn't it..?"

"I'll say. She has quite the unique taste, Tsunade-sama, can't imagine her actually using it though."

"Do you think she'll let me have it?" she asked then, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment, "I want to take it with me."

"Of course she would, Sakura." he smiled sincerely, but it still didn't reach his eyes.

"Seriously, what's the matter?" she raised her brow, indicating she wanted an answer, and she wanted it that very second.

He looked stunned, "Why do you think something's up?" he questioned instead.

"Your smile, its not reaching your eyes." she answered concernedly.

He crinkled his eye in that familiar way, but it wasn't the same. It made her a little angry, and so she threw the pillow at him, and when it missed she reached for the next.

"Sakura, its nothing really." he spoke seriously, raising his hands in surrender.

"Yes it is." she went on insistently.

"I don't want to ruin a day meant for peace."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked with narrowed eyes. He was behaving peculiar, it was normal for him to dodge questions, but this time it was something more, she could feel it.

"It's your mothers anniversary." he spoke, which reminded him, "Naruto said he wanted to speak with you."

"I completely forgot." she directed her anger at herself now, as she mentally berated herself. How could she forget such an important day? It was her mothers anniversary for goodness sakes.

"Not really, you just woke up, and a lots been going on. Don't blame yourself." he spoke calmly, as if he knew what she was thinking, in a way that she couldn't argue with.

"Okay. What did Naruto say?"

"To let you know if I saw you that he'll meet you at your place. Probably something to do with your plans."

"Alright." she flung herself out of bed a little too quickly, her head spun. "Urg. I need to get a shower. Do I have any clothes?"

Kakashi was already on his feet, his grip steadying her. "Easy now, Sakura."

She sat back down on the bed.

"You didn't. But I brought you something." Kakashi then answered, walking over to the wardrobe.

"You did?" she asked sceptically, following him curiously with her eyes.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't."

Sakura watched him pull out a long item of clothing on a hanger, cased in a black zip-up protector. Flopping it gently over his arm he walked to her, and sat back in the chair beside her bed.

"Here." he said passing it to her, "You haven't brought anything special to wear today, have you?"

"No." she replied, taking it in her hands.

She ran her fingers gingerly down the soft velvet casing along the line of the zip. Near the bottom, stitched in, was the shop name. Mugen. Her fingers halted as she looked to Kakashi.

"What..?" he inquired.

"Mugen's." she whispered. He had never brought her anything so expensive before; books and perfumes were no big deal on birthdays, but he hadn't needed go to the trouble of buying her this. And even though he pitched in the most money to decorate her apartment, the price wouldn't have mounted to anywhere near the price of the kimono. "Kakashi, you shouldn't have. I don't have the money to pay you back for this."

"It's a gift Sakura. I don't want you to pay me back." he spoke quietly, reaching forward to unzip the bag. He stood then, lifting out the most breathtakingly beautiful kimono she had ever seen. It was a light shade of purple, her mothers favourite colour, a black print of butterflies running up one side. The obi's colours were reversed.

The pink-haired kunoichi gasped, "Kakashi, I cant accept that, you know I cant.. I'm sorry."

"What, you don't like it?" he chided lightly.

"No, I love it. Its so beautiful." She said shaking her head, she wasn't going to fall for the guilt trip, "It's just so expensive. I mean, it's from Mugen's Kakashi. Why did you buy it?"

With a sigh, he lay the kimono on the bed beside her. Then he crouched down in front of her, taking her hands. "I brought it you as a gift Sakura. A parting gift if you will, and it might be expensive, but just look at how many of your birthdays I'm going to miss. Not just that, but you should wear something special when visiting your mother, is she not worth more than the price of this kimono?"

"She is, but.."

"If she is then you will wear it. No excuses."

"Arigatou, Kakashi, arigatou." and she flung herself into his arms, nearly toppling the him over, but she didn't care. He returned the embrace, albeit a little awkwardly.

A few moments went by, and Sakura eventually peeled herself away from him to look back at the Kimono. She ran her hands down the silky texture, "I really don't deserve you." she whispered to it, she didn't mind if Kakashi thought her weird, Ino spoke to her dresses all the time, especially her shoes.

Kakashi stood and squeezed her shoulder, "You do."

Sakura smiled warmly in response. She felt emotion swell within her, a mixture of love and appreciation, but there was something else, she just couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was the excited feeling a young girl got when she received a present from her father, but she wasn't sure, because she had never known hers.

"How about that shower?" Kakashi suggested, "I went to your apartment yesterday and brought a towel, toothbrush and some other stuff you might need, there in a small bag on the stool."

"Thanks, Kakashi-sempai, what would I do without you?"

He looked perplexed, but she just laughed it off, and made her way to the bathroom. "I wont be long." and she closed the door behind herself.

Kakashi was going to leave, but then remembered that the hospital bathrooms had a mirror. So much for the peaceful day, he thought, he knew Sakura was going to inspect her seal. And when she saw it, he hadn't a clue how she would react, and though it best he stayed.

Going back over to the wardrobe, he pulled the small rectangular hand bag off the top shelf. The strap was a silver chain, the appearance the same as the obi-- black with lilac butterflies. Inside was a discrete velvet box containing a variety of coloured bandages which would come in handy for hiding the seal from prying eyes. Goodness knew what would happen if someone were to spot it, Ino especially. Kakashi internally winced at the thought of Sakura being accused of getting such a tattoo -because that's what it would look like to others- the narrowed eyes full of jealous, enraged scorn was slightly unsettling.

"What the heck, oh my gosh.. No, no, no."

And so it begins, Kakashi thought to himself as he rapped softly on the bathroom door, bag still in his other hand. "Everything alright in there, Sakura?"

"I, uh, yes of course." she flustered, "You just forgot nail polish, t-that's all."

Well it was a good excuse he'd say if he didn't know any better. "Sorry, I knew I'd forgotten something. I'll go get some, do you have any colour preferences?"

"Lilac.. No, teal, if you wouldn't mind sempai."

"I'll be back soon, don't go anywhere."

"I wont." she replied hastily, "There should be some on the drawer in my bedroom. Oh, no I don't think I have teal, er.. Emerald will have to do."

"Alright then. Don't worry, I'll sort it." he reassured her, knowing the real problem wasn't the polish, but the seal on the right side of her neck.

"Thanks a bunch." she called after him.

"Don't worry about it." he repeated, hoping she would get the double meaning of his words.

Kakashi placed the bag back on the shelf and disappeared with a small poof.

Sakura stared at her reflection in the mirror, taking deep breathes to calm her nerves. She looked calm and relaxed, but on the inside her mind was going haywire. She chanced another glance at the tiny, disturbing mark on her neck. The red and cream fan had manifested drearily against her pale white skin. If she wasn't so confounded, she might have thought it suited her, but as it happens, she wanted to tear it off, or better yet, singe it.

She visualised the electric blue chakra tingling the end of her finger as she hovered it over the seal, she felt the burn on her skin, the nauseating smell of burnt flesh, and saw the satisfied half smirk spread across her face as she looked to the black mark smudged across her neck, glistening in crimson blood. The colours of the sharingan.. And the Akatsuki cloak.

She quickly moved her hand away from her neck, bewildered as to the direction her thoughts were going. She didn't know why this had to happen. She didn't want to give herself over to the Akatsuki, to live and fight along side them like she was one of them. She didn't even want to look Uchiha Itachi in the eye, let alone be apart of something he was. She didn't want to be a murderer, and she didn't want to live amongst them; especially him, after all he had done to.. Sasuke.

She didn't want to go to the enemy, the dark side. She didn't want to fail the mission. That's what it all boiled down too. She was going to fail, and people were going to get hurt and die for her stupid mistakes.

She stripped down numbly, and stepped under the cool cascade of water. She blocked every thought from her mind, thankful for her ninja training, and concentrated solely on her shower. She felt the temperature warm as the minutes went by, the water dripping down her naked body tickling slightly as it ran over her sensitive areas. The arch of her neck, the soft curve of her back, down the centre of her stomach, and the length of her long legs.

She didn't know how long she stood there. Her chest growing heavy and empty, as her mind began to race again. Why did the seal have to be the Uchiha fan? What would everybody think? Would they think that she was still obsessed with the raven-haired Uchiha, that she hadn't gotten over her childhood crush, that feelings were still there, even after she had gone out with Naruto? Would they suspect that was why they broke up? Would they not see that they were better off as friends?

His tanned, whiskered face flashed in her head. The bright shocks of blonde hair that she was going to miss so much. That tantalising smile, warm and infectious. Would he lose it? Would it disappear from his face like when Sasuke left? She thought so. They were a lot more closer than Naruto had been to Sasuke. He was like a brother to Naruto, but she was like a sister, his best friend; they had a strange kind of love for each other that she would never be able to explain. They were inseparable. Their bond was truly unbreakable.

But was it?

Would it stay as strong as an iron link, or would it slowly crumble with time? Would he move on and forget about her existence? Because sometimes she wondered if he even cared about Sasuke anymore. He rarely ever spoke about him, battered an eyelid at his name, he acted so nonchalant. But was it all an act? She honestly didn't know.

Her mind was in a disarray, random thoughts popping into her head all jumbled up. She just didn't know what to think or feel. She had washed her body and hair in a robot like manner, mechanically, emotionlessly. And before she knew it, she was sat on the floor of the shower cubicle, arms wrapped around her knees. Crying. She would be happy to stay there like that for the rest of her life, sobbing, literally drowning in self-pity, than break Naruto's heart.

Maybe Sasuke had it right. That when a person went through something traumatising in life, something so drastic, that they had to shut off. Rid their mind of emotion, of feeling; because if she didn't, she would only get hurt. But it was harder said than done. She couldn't just forget about Naruto, Kakashi, Tsunade, Ino, or any of her family-like-friends, just like she couldn't forget about Sasuke and her mother. She was too compassionate a person, just like her shishou had told her many times.

But would she be able to close the pages of her book, and move on to the sequel? Only time would tell. She didn't know how she was going to make it through this, all she knew was she had to, and she had to give it her all. Tsunade had said it herself, failure wasn't an option. It was life or death, and she was going to come out alive, if only to beg for Naruto's forgiveness.

For now, she was going to smile, and act like everything was fine. When she left she could crumble, as long as she could pick herself back up again, and complete what she was assigned.

The silver-haired jounin was currently staring dumbfounded at the rows upon rows of nail polish at Mugen's. His one dark eye was searching for teal, but when he arrived he realised that he hadn't a clue as to what teal was.

He sighed as he scratched his head near the not of his hitai-ate. He didn't even know why he was doing this, looking for the correct polish, but he felt like he had to, had to play along.

"What would such a handsome man be doing in the women's beauty section?"

He knew that voice, that flirtatious tone. It was just what he needed, he thought sarcastically to himself, as he remembered Sakura mentioning the blonde had gotten a part-time job here.

He turned to face her. "Your just the person I need, actually." he said more to himself, than the excited looking blonde. She would know what teal was.

"Am I?" she whispered seductively, "Well, how may I help, Kakashi?"

"Teal." he went on ignoring her tone, "I'm looking for teal, but I don't know what colour that is."

"Eh, teal." Ino echoed, wrinkling her nose. "Are you sure, it's just that.. It's not really Shizune's colour."

Kakashi felt his cheeks warm, and was thankful for his mask. Ino, he thought, just where do you get your information from. He was sure he and Shizune kept to themselves enough in public that nobody would suspect. "I'm not buying this for Shizune."

"Are you sure?" she whispered as she linked her arm through his, "If she found out you were buying expensive items for another woman, I'm sure she'd be, you know, jealous."

"What are you talking about, Ino, its for Sakura."

"Sakura?" she hissed stepping back, and unlinking their arms.

"Yes, Sakura. Now do you mind helping me out."

She stared at him a long moment, her eyes smouldering with challenge. The challenge wasn't directed at him though, but Sakura, he knew. And it wasn't good. Ino was a strange creature, a very unique species. As interesting as she was, he didn't have time for this. "Ino?" he went on impatiently.

"Oh, yes, well." she started. She reached for a bluish-green bottle and handed it to him. "Teal." she assured him, ushering him of to the till. "Is that all?"

"Hai. Thanks Ino."

"Anytime Kakashi." and though she said it politely, he knew she was a little ticked. He couldn't understand why though. He would never be with her, she was too young for one, Sakura's best female friend.. And then there was the issue of Shizune. A very appealing issue.

"I found a teal polish." Kakashi announced as he arrived back in Sakura's hospital room.

"..but I don't have teal."

"I know," he went on, "but you seemed really upset so I brought you some."

"Oh, you shouldn't have. Thank you."

Sakura walked out of the bathroom fully dressed in her new kimono. It was the perfect size, not too big, but not too small. The obi was tied like butterfly wings at the back. She held her right hand casually against her neck, over the seal. She hoped Kakashi hadn't already seen it, but if he had, he didn't mention it.

"You look.. lovely."

"Lovely..?"

"Yes, well.." he trailed off unsure of what to say, and feeling a little awkward again.

"Thanks again." she paused for a moment, "Listen, Kakashi. You've been such a star, and honestly, I'll never be able to repay you for all this; but I just want you to know that I realise you've gone out of your way for me, and I really appreciate it."

"Well, too be honest, it wasn't a big deal." he admitted, slinging an arm around her shoulder, "Your like a daughter to me Sakura, I'll do anything for you, you should know that by now."

Sakura felt her eyes prickle but smiled non-the-less. He was never so nice, and she felt so much more closer to him than she ever had.

And she was going to lose it all.

"Your kinda, sort of.. like a dad to me." she whispered, trying to hold in a fresh wave of sobs.

He gripped her tighter, but he didn't say anything more. He was just there for her, and that's all she ever needed, a silent but sturdy support.

"Kakashi, do you have a roll of bandages I could borrow, it's just.."

"Sure." he walked back over to the wardrobe and took out the bag. "Here. There's a box inside with different coloured silk strips. Thought they'd be prettier than bandages."

She took it gingerly in her hands, and she saw Kakashi's eye zoom in on her neck. She felt exposed. Like he'd just found out a dirty secret. She gazed into his coal eye, feeling lost, vulnerable.

He didn't speak. He stepped forward, opening up the bag, and pulling out the velvet box. Once open, he pulled out a sleek black strip and slowly tied it around her neck, covering the fan.

"This one should do." he said stepping back, "Its black so it blends in with the collar of your kimono, and matches."

She stood stiff as a board. She didn't understand why he was acting so aloof about it, she was thankful but confused. She felt him slip a pair of flip flops on her bare feet. And as she peered down, she spotted the medium sized butterfly sat atop her toes; and funny enough the sequins were teal. It was beautiful, everything was so beautiful. Kakashi had done so much for her. She wanted to laugh and cry. Then she sniffled, "So, I feel bad ditching you after you did all this, but I should go. Naruto will be waiting."

"Yes, of course." he held out his arm, "Can I at least escort you outside."

Sliding the bag on her shoulder, she took his offered arm and let him lead the way.

"And, Sakura, don't worry about it."

She nodded in understanding, glad that he didn't judge, or make a big deal out of it. As far as she was concerned, the seal meant that Sasuke was still apart of her life, and hopefully still would in the future.

It was roughly noon by the time Sakura made her way to the cemetery. Kakashi had walked her home so she could splash on a little make up to cover her slightly puffy face; she didn't wear too much though, besides she had a good reason to be upset and tearful today.

She weaved in and out of the flat headstones, until she approached the ivory stone of her mothers. Her's and Naruto's flowers were still there. A few blossom petals had fallen, but the cherry tree was in full bloom, creating a light shade over the grassy area.

It was the perfect place for a picnic, there with her Okaa-san, and Naruto when he decided to stroll on by. She was feeling a little peckish too. She would just have to get something later, she thought as she kneeled in the cool grass, stroking the granite surface lovingly.

"I've missed you, Mama." she whispered, and as the soft breeze whipped round her, she knew she was there. "I.. I just feel so lost, you know. I've got this big mission, every ones being so nice, especially Sempai. And fate decided to give me this ridiculous seal."

A single blossom floated along the wind and stuck to her nose, tickling slightly, just like her mothers hair used to when she was embracing her, giggling. "You can stop laughing now, it's really not that funny, Mama. What's pig going to say if she see's it. It looks like a friggin' tattoo."

She stopped to laugh at the picture of Ino's face when she tried to explain her way out of it. "I suppose it is a little funny, I'm glad you could show me the humour to it."

She flopped into the green earth, her pink strands sprawling out, like an abstract painting. Bright and vibrant against the dull grass.

She thought for a minute about what Kakashi had said earlier.

"Your like a daughter to me Sakura, I'll do anything for you, you should know that by now."

"Okaa-san," she took in a deep breath as she slowly sat back up, "who is my Otou-san..? Why don't I know who he is?"

She realised with a twist of her stomach that she didn't know anything about her mothers life before she was born. What kind of daughter was she? She didn't know her grandparents from either side, who her father was, who her mother's childhood crush was, she didn't know anything… except for the basics. She went by the name Haruno. She had long brownish, reddish, plum coloured hair; a set of deep brown, warm eyes; a big heart; purple was her favourite colour and she loved to read medical books.. She never got married; she took care of Sakura's team.. She loved to be called care-bear and Okaa-bear..

But that was it.. That was her mother, it was all she knew.

She had a surname name, but no family. An old team, where were they..? Sakura's father, but where was he..?

She crawled back over to her mothers stone, and stroked her finger tips over the engraved kanji that read, 'Haruno Rin', where are your precious people Mama..? Where are they..?

Leaning forward, she embraced the stone, like she was hugging her mother, and sobbed for the second time that day, feeling the cool marble beneath her heated skin. Her head was full of questions, some that could be answered with time, and some that wouldn't. But the main question was:

If I don't know who you are, Mama, how am I supposed to know who I am..?