LOL Okay so this is my first DGM crack fic!! Complete with most major implied crack pairings between the 4 main characters :3 This story won on my poll so I guess you guys wanna read it a lot :D This is based off of my Ouran fic Blackout which is where this idea basically came from. Let's just see how the Dark Order handles it versus the Host Club!

Disclaimer: I does not owning D. Gray-Man :(

Blackout: D. Gray-Man Style!

Hell.

That was pretty much the only way to describe it.

Panic, chaos, and disorder.

Simply put; insanity.

Pure Hell.

Today, the Dark Order was much darker than usual. Thunder crashed overhead, sending a bright flash of lightning right afterwards. Rain pelted down without mercy, showering the tall, glass windows with overflowing waterfalls. A normal thunderstorm for the Exorcists and the Order.

Except the power was out.

"Hey! What the Hell happened?"

"I think the power went out."

"What?! That's never happened before!"

"Don't we have a generator or something?"

"Lenalee! Where are you my sweet, beloved sister?!"

"Everyone please, just calm down!"

"Yo! Just chill out guys!"

Shouts and hollers of every kind and of most frequencies comprehendible to the human ear echoed throughout the various hallways. Everyone had been working hard and co-operating just fine 30 seconds ago like a well-oiled machine, but now people were stumbling and falling all over each other like a machine that had been thrown off of a 20-story building and into shark-infested waters.

Presently, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda, and Komui were in the insane Chief's office when the power went out. The four Exorcists had been about to give a report on their last mission but before they could even take a seat on the couch (or lean against the wall and acting like no one else existed, in Kanda's case), darkness had fallen upon them.

"Lenalee! Where are you?!" Komui cried out again, flailing about like a fish out of water.

"Nii-san! I'm right here!" Came the annoyed reply. A pair of green flashes gave away Lenalee's position in the room as she kicked her infatuated brother on the head. He fell silent aside from a few whimpers as he threw his arms around her. Lenalee shook him off and slowly made her way over to the others. Somehow, she reached them unharmed. "Okay," She let out a long sigh. "Let's all just wait here until it comes back on. Just don't leave the room please; we don't need anyone falling down several flights of stairs."

"So…what now?" Allen asked, hoping he directed his voice to where someone was standing.

"Well," Lavi spoke up. "We could give our report like we're supposed to but…" he trailed off, not needing to say more since the one they were supposed to be reporting to was crashing about the room trying to find his desk and his coffee. "Actually, I think I'll take a nap." He decided. Lavi threw himself down onto where he thought the couch was. Unfortunately, but to the amusement of the others, he misjudged and wound up falling into a heap of papers. "Damn it! I'm drowning in paper!" He shouted.

"Lavi…" Lenalee sighed, stepping forward to try and find the helpless Bookman and assist him. "This place is a deathtrap especially in the dark. You can't just-"she cut off with a yelp as her foot caught on something and she fell forward. Allen, completely and hopelessly confused about the whole situation was caught entirely off guard as the girl stumbled onto him.

"L-L-L-Lenalee?" the British boy tried to reach out and catch her but simply wound up falling with her.

But Allen never hit the floor.

Heck, he never even hit the mounds of papers littering the floor.

Instead, he landed on a pair of shoes with the hilt of a sword smacking him in the face. "K-K-Kanda?!"

"Get the Hell off me, Bean Sprout!" The constantly pissed-off Exorcist snarled, kicking the confused boy so that he and the girl both went flying.

"Huh?" Lavi lifted his head. "Oh yeah, Yu's here!" He exclaimed. Almost the second the last syllable left his mouth, something crashed onto his stomach.

So the ending position of the Exorcists was: Kanda, leaning against the wall like a murderer who could kill with his glare alone. Lavi, half buried in papers about goodness-knows-what from possibly hundreds of years ago lying on his back with his one eye spinning like a Merry-Go-Round. Lenalee, who had been rudely though possibly unintentionally kicked onto said Bookman with her back pressed into his stomach. And Allen, who was now lying on top of said female Exorcist in the classical 'most-embarrassing-sexual-position-ever'. It took them all a moment to grasp the whole of the situation. Lavi was the first to come to … some of his senses.

"Ugh…Allen, holy crap you weigh a lot!" He exclaimed. Not realizing that there were two people on top of him, he rolled over and shoved the extra weight off of him. Lenalee squeaked in surprise as she and Allen both went crashing to the floor together. The two of them let out moans as they tried to push themselves up.

"Lavi!" Allen sat up, annoyed. "That was Lenalee you just pushed, you jerk!"

"What? Oh, hey sorry." Lavi apologized to the girl.

"WHAT?!" Komui's voice bellowed from somewhere across the room. "WHO. PUSHED. LENALEE??" He dragged out each word with death dripping from every letter.

"Crap. Thanks, Allen. Thanks."

There was various scrambling as the Exorcists attempted to get up, and in Lavi's case, run for his life. As Allen fumbled to find his feet in the darkness, he heard a series of grumbling and cursing coming from one corner of the room. He sweatdropped as he recognized Kanda's pissed-off growls and knew that he could release his Innocence's demons at any second now. He grabbed Komui and pulled him away from where he assumed Lavi was being tormented.

"Um, I t-think we should go stand way over there." Allen murmured to the Chief. Komui finally quieted down for a fraction of a second to agree.

And so everyone who was not Kanda proceeded to retreat to the opposite side of the room. But they could still hear noises like all of Hades breaking loose from the other side.

"Yu's pissed." Lavi commented.

"Someone's going to die." Allen added.

"I volunteer Lavi to be the sacrifice!" Komui suggested.

"WHAT?! Why me?"

"Because you're a dirty pervert who does bad things to small children."

"WHAT?! Where the Hell did you come up with that crap, Komui? I-" he was cut off as something flew past him, with the speed and force of a thousand arrows, just barely catching on his scarf and smashed against the wall behind him, pinning the helpless teen there.

"WHAT did you call me?" Came a low rumble that matched the pitch of the thunder outside.

"N-Nothing!" Lavi's voice was choked with terror. "I didn't call you anything! It was Allen!"

"What?! Lavi! Do you want me to die? After all we've been through?"

"I've known you for all of two months!"

"That's no reason to-" he was cut off when he felt a fist on his head.

"Would all of you please shut up?!" Lenalee smacked her friends and brother in turn, freeing Lavi from whatever had trapped him against the wall. She huffed out a couple of annoyed breaths as the boys complained and rubbed their heads. "Now, are we all going to be quiet like good little boys?" Lenalee asked. When her only response was that of the silence of misbehaved dogs that had just been kicked, she went on. "The power should be back on soon. If we can all just survive together for a few more minutes-"

"Screw that." Kanda spat as they heard angry footsteps headed for the exit.

"Kanda," Lenalee called out. "Be careful, you might-"she cut off when they heard a loud thump and a grunt from the long haired Exorcist. Allen and Lavi attempted to share a glance, baffled in utter shock before Allen found the courage to speak up.

"D…Did Kanda just…?"

"I. Did not. Trip."Came a muffled snarl that sent chills down the spines of the other Exorcists.

"C-Course not!" Lavi laughed sheepishly. "Yu would never trip. He's never tripped once in his entire-"

"Life." Kanda finished. "It's what you're going to be missing if you keep calling me that." There was a series of scrambling until he stood up straight again, growling through gritted teeth. A few moments of awkward silence drifted by, and everyone was equally shocked when they found that Kanda was actually still in the office.

"Hey, Lenalee." Allen whispered after somehow managing to get beside the girl. "Komui's been awfully quiet. Is he still in here?"

"Yes, he fell asleep at his desk a little while ago, thank goodness…" She added in a relieved mumble.

"Ug, I'm so hungry." Lavi complained.

"Oh please, think about me!" Allen flashed back. "By the way, has anybody seen Timcanpy?"

"Shrimp scampi?" Lavi asked hopefully.

"Yes, Lavi shrimp scampi. You just keep telling yourself that." Allen sighed. "I just wish Kanda would leave…" he murmured sourly.

"Wait, wait wait!" Lavi intervened. "What about a condom?!"

"Huh?" Poor Lenalee was simply minding her own business watching the rain fall when she heard this.

"What?! Lavi you pervert! What the Hell are you talking about? I'd tell you to get your mind out of the gutter but it seems its lodged! Besides, with talk like that and Lenalee in the room, you'll wake Komui!" Allen hissed.

"L-Lavi, Allen-kun please don't…" Lenalee pleaded.

"Yeah she's right. Kanda will probably start a fight." Allen reasoned.

"Whoa Allen, what did you do last night?"

"LAVI!! Do you want to lose your other eye?!"

"Are you delusional?" Lenalee cried.

"Don't mind him Lenalee; he's just the comic relief." Allen snorted.

"I'm the what?" Lavi shouted. "Well hey, even if that is true I'm still way hotter than you! And I make green and orange work, you white-haired, British, virgin!"

"WHAT?!" Lenalee's voice squeaked.

"Lavi!" Allen could not take it any longer. He activated his Innocence and lunged in the red-head's general direction. Lavi was too weak from hunger and deliriousness to dodge and Allen proceeded to knock him unconscious…for now… His arm reformed again and Allen's head snapped around as he swore he heard a snicker from Kanda.

A long moment of silence dragged by before it was interrupted by a blast of thunder and a flash of lightning.

"…Now what?" Lenalee asked, after recovering from the shock of all the perverted jokes.

"Well," Allen pondered out loud. "Now that the comic relief is knocked out…there's not much we can do is there?" He sighed.

Lenalee used the faint light from the occasional flashes to guide her across the paper-littered floor, trying to make it to the couch to rest after the chaos that had recently broken loose. As she sat down with a sigh, she leaned sideways to lay down but instead leapt straight back up into the air and fell back to the floor with a small scream after bumping into something. Or rather someone.

"Lenalee? What is it?" Allen asked from somewhere nearby.

"K-Kanda! I-I didn't know you were still here!" She gasped.

"Che." Kanda snorted in disgust as he stood and made his way back to his emo corner in the shadows.

Allen found his way over to Lenalee.

"Sometimes I wonder what he does in the corner all the time…"

"Allen-kun!" Lenalee cried.

"What?!"

"Don't imply perverted things!"

"I-I'm not implying anything!" The honestly confused boy defended himself.

"Oh geez." She face-palmed herself. "Of all the people here, I thought at least you, Allen-kun, would be a bit mature…"

"L-Lenalee! It's not like that! I-" the silver haired boy was at a loss for words, his reputation completely shattered now.

Just then, a groaning from somewhere else in the room signaled that Lavi was waking up. "Great. Just what we need." Allen muttered darkly as the redhead sat up.

"Geez, how long was I out Allen?"

"Not long enough."

"Hey that isn't very nice. Is that any way to speak to your elders? That's something I would expect from Yu, Bean Sprout."

"And that's something I'd expect from him, you stupid rabbit." Allen snapped. "And you're lucky he didn't hear that, or else you'd be dead."

"Oh I heard it all right." Came the devilish voice straight from the Underworld itself. Allen, Lavi and Lenalee simultaneously turned to see Kanda's eyes glowing as lightning conveniently flashed, outlining his figure, crouched and ready to lunge like a black panther, hand posed above the sheath of his sword, ready to draw the blade. The other three sweatdropped and Lenalee drew in a breath, ready to step in and cease the battle before it began.

"Men." she shook her head. "If it's not one thing, it's the other. They've always got to be killing something or fighting…"

But before any of the four could make a move, brightness suddenly blessed the Dark Order once again. The lights flickered once before exploding to life, almost blinding after being in the darkness for so long. Never before had the Bookman, the British boy and the Chinese girl been so relieved to hear that otherwise annoying buzzing sound emitting from them.

Kanda however, being able to pummel the other males whether it be snow or shine, wind or rain, dark or light, could care less. He simply sheathed his sword, and vanished through the exit with one last, "Che". The other three blinked after him. Lenalee sighed at his hopelessness, but Lavi and Allen sighed with relief that they were still physically unwounded, though they were now both a bit more nervous of him psychologically.

Just then, Komui stirred, though Lavi was the first to notice. Catching sight of Lenalee and Allen and how close they were in proximity to one another, he decided to mess with them.

"Whoa Allen, Lenalee, what did you guys do while we were asleep?" He called loudly enough for the insane Chief to hear. He immediately straightened up at his desk and his eyes glowed, like a hunter honing in on his prey.

"EH?!" said couple whipped around to face the guilty, mischievous, flirt. Only then did they realize his intentions.

"Allen Walker." Komui did not shout his name in the usual crazed way this time. But the silent, promising threat made Allen wish that he had.

Lavi grinned, Lenalee sighed, Allen ran.

For the Dark Order and all its members, it was pretty much just another normal day, with a bit of unnecessarily added chaos because of a simple Blackout.

A/N: Weeeell?? Was it good? Did it make you LOLZ? Please lemme know! Thanks for reading!

Please review!!