Title: The Vestigial Organ Recall

Rated: G

Disclaimer: I do not work for the production company or have any affiliation with the 'tiffany' network. I do not own the characters, nor do I take any monetary compensation for this. But I do quote awesome 80's movies. "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career."

Chapter One

"I'm sure it's because you bought the wrong mustard Leonard," Sheldon said in a matter of fact tone of voice.

Leonard wasn't having it. "You're blaming me for your upset stomach? If your food didn't taste right, then why did you eat so much of it?"

Raj and Howard looked at each other in a panic.

YELLOW ALERT!

"My digestive distress has nothing to do with the quantity of the food, but the quality. Really Leonard, you should understand given your own problems with lactose intolerance."

Leonard spoke calmly to Sheldon. "Here's the thing Sheldon, as a fellow 'digestive distress' sufferer my advice is to take some antacids and lie down for a while. We still have two hours before we have to get to the movie theater."

Sheldon laid his had across his stomach and said, "I know that Leonard, what I wanted to impart to you is that had you not purchased this sub par mustard, I wouldn't be sick at all."

Sick. RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Battle stations! Diffuse situation! Do not let it escalate!

Leonard looked to Howard. Howard looked to Raj. Raj looked to Leonard. They shared an unspoken moment. They had run drills for this. They could remedy this.

Leonard spoke first, "I'm sorry Sheldon, I won't let it happen again. But, like I said take some antacids and it will 'pass'."

"Yeah dude, I'm sure you'll be fine." said Raj.

Howard dropped the logic bomb suggestion. "Don't feel pressured just because we pre-paid for the tickets."

"Fine, fine," Sheldon muttered as he stalked towards the bathroom, "sub par mustard and he thinks a couple of antacids are going to fix it. Why I should trust his advice, I don't know."

With the snick of the door closing, Leonard breathed a sigh of relief.

Stand down from Red Alert

Howard whispered to Leonard, "Do you think we've escaped Condition Bile Yellow?"

Leonard glanced towards the bathroom door and said under his breath, "I'm not sure, but good call in providing the out for us with the pre-paid tickets."

Howard looked pleased with himself. "Yeah, if he's unable to go, even Sheldon wouldn't want us to miss all six Alien movies on the big screen."

1 ½ hours later

"I'll stay Sheldon if you want me to," Leonard said, hoping he'd say no.

"No Leonard, this is not the type of illness when one wants others around. I have plenty of fluids to keep myself from dehydrating."

Leonard started back pedaling towards the door in Sheldon's bedroom. "Okay then, I hope you feel better."

"Thank you Leonard," sighed Sheldon.

Leonard came sprinting down the hall.

Howard barely had time to ask, "Well?"

Leonard squawked out in a sotto voce, "Quick get out the door before he changes his mind!"

In the theater

As they watched the alien burst out of Kane's chest, Raj whispered to the others, "Remind you of anyone?"

Howard and Leonard giggled like a couple of schoolgirls.