A/N: Honestly, I don't know where the heck this story came from. I woke up with it stuck in my head and I had to get it down. I haven't watched the movie in ages, so it was weird. But I like it. I hope you all do too! Laurie's really not my favorite character out of the bunch, I love him but there are others I love more, so it's surprising to me that so far my only "Little Women" fics are from his point of view.
My body was numb but my feet moved on their own volition. My harsh words were echoing back to me as I crashed through the woods, eager to put as much distance between me and the woman I thought I knew. How could she say no? We loved one another; I saw it in her eyes every time they lit up at the sight of me. Apparently it was nothing more than familial affection.
One day she would love someone, just as I condemned her to, yet she will never love him completely. She and I are two halves of the same whole, our hearts and souls are entwined and nothing can break that bond; though today I saw it weaken.
Branches tore at my shirt and the muddy water from the creek stained my trousers. I stormed through the forest blindly. My heart felt as though it were cracking into a million pieces, yet my blood boiled with anger at her rejection. I wanted to rage out, yell, scream and cry. But I couldn't, I was too close to the houses, they would all hear and think me mad. Perhaps I was.
I stormed into my grandfather's house, ignoring the "Good afternoon, sir" from the butler. The few maids he had scurried out of my path. I slammed shut the door to the study, threw the papers and books that had accumulated on the piano and threw open the lid.
I pounded my anger into the keys, wishing my fingers would crack and bleed at the force of it so the outside would reflect the torture within me. I saw nothing but the tears in her eyes and the fear in her voice. Was the thought of marriage to me so terrifying? But she would get no better offers in the future and would now die an old maid.
My fingers stopped dead at the thought and silence rang out into the room. I sounded exactly like the men I hated, the men who were scorned and lashed out at the women who hurt them when truthfully it was the men to blame. I gazed over at the small wooden house that once filled me with warmth and the sensation of home that this place never did. But something had snapped and shriveled inside me at Jo's refusal and now I felt only cold.
Nothing would be the same again. We could move on with our lives but it would always be the gap between unseen by all others. We could smile and act civil but I will always see her tear-stained face begging me to stop.
I turned away from the place I had once envied to call home and began to play as I mourned for its loss, and the loss of my life with Jo. I couldn't stay here for long, always reminded at what was within my reach but never my grasp.
Soon my fingers stilled, I had nothing left in me to play. I no longer had the desire in me to play. I took one last look at the house across the way, slightly distorted from the glass, before turning from it forever. I would never be part of the March family and it broke my heart.
Suddenly I stood as I realized I needed a change: of scenery, of companions, of ambitions. Grandfather would be home soon and I planned to leave for London immediately. My future, bleak now without the addition of Jo March, waited.
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