I know I KNOW!

I'm ashamed to post this chapter now… after more than a year… GAAAAAAH!

*bangs her head repeatedly on her desk*

Damn my laziness!

Warning:Sex, raw language, death, abuse… perverted Yaoi stuff… SasuNaru. Don't like it, don't read it! è_é

Disclaimer: I OWN NARUTO! Yep yep! I do! Look at all the Naruto mangas I own! I bought them all with my own money! Yep!

Cheerful Despair

After he, finally, succeeded to put his kimono -while groaning and yelling at the troublesome piece of cloth- Naruto walked out of the bathro- uh no, the labyrinth pool. He soon found himself face to face with the floor of the bedroom, after tripping on the too long stupid useless thing… which caused the obi –that wasn't attached tight enough around his waist- to loosen and open the damn shit wide for all to see… okay, there isn't really a chance that he will meet a stranger in Sasuke's room, but still! He isn't the kind of person who likes showing off his private part, or any part of his body, in his case, if the big orange sweat suit he used to wear was any indication… he even choose the one that made him look fat! He wasn't fan of the clothes that seemed like glued to the body… and plus, he doesn't even have an underwear!

"RAAAAAH! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'M TIRED OF YOU! YOU UNDERSTAND YOU TISSUE-DEMON? IF YOU DON'T STOP GETTING ON MY NERVES, YOU WILL END UP IN SUCH A STATE THAT EVEN YOUR DESIGNER WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU! HELL, YOU'RE NOT EVEN ORANGE! WHO WEARS WHITE NOWADAYS?"

"I like white…"

The voice was uncaring but it made Naruto's head turn around quickly and meet Sasuke's slightly amused face… well, you would smile too if you saw a nearly naked blond, holding the edge of his kimono with his hands and shaking it while screaming, menacing and glaring at it… or maybe you'd stare wide-eyed and think that the blond had lost his mind, while backing away slowly… That would be the safest reaction… normally. But Sasuke wasn't… sane himself.

The said blond flushed a deep shade of red before hastily covering himself and turning his glare to the raven next to him.

He didn't say anything at first, scrutinizing Sasuke's face… a face that held a so familiar expression. When was the last time he saw the raven like this?

'That bastard had been a jerk just an hour ago in the pool, and now he acts like a normal person…' The blond felt like he was twelve all over again… 'He is so messed up…'

His heart's beat quickened for a second before his body's language relaxed for the first time as it took a teasing stance.

"So what? White is just too plain… no wait... I understand why you like it now… anyway! I'm not wearing this thing! Gimme another one!" He said demanding, forgetting about his role of slave, his lips pursed.

Sasuke watched him intently, that ghost of a smile still lingering on his lips, making the flushed blond squirm in embarrassment.

"W-what?" 'Shit! I stammered!'

"… You have problems putting on a simple kimono?" if you're an Uchiha-translator, you can sense a slight feeling of disbelief in his voice… and sadly… Naruto has grown used to the Uchiha's mimic and he can sense these things… and it made him angrier…

"SHUT UP TEME! NOT EVERYONE HAD THE CHANCE TO GO TO FESTIVALS AND THEN LEARNING HOW TO WEAR THIS TROUBLESOME THING!"

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly at the outburst, but Naruto has missed his reaction for he turned his head to face the other wall, so he can hide his shame.

"… You've… never attended any… festivities?" He was hesitant, and the surprise is now clear in his voice. It made the blond turn fully toward the raven, pointing an accusing finger at him, forgetting to hide his body.

"W-what are you saying! O-of course I had! With Ero-sen-…" Naruto trailed down, his hand dropping slowly to his side, his eyes lost but starting to find their lightness. "Ero-sennin…" He whispered the nickname quietly.

Sasuke watched as the blue-eyes began to take that familiar colour he knew too well, and he felt a pang in his chest.

"Naruto…?" he asked hesitantly. And apparently, it seemed that the blond had heard him, because his eyes darkened again and he started talking… well, it was more like complaining, if he referred to the tone of his voice. But he didn't really pay attention… One thought continued to haunt him…

"Am I not enough?" he asked in a whisper and a monotone voice.

Sensing as the raven was talking to him, the blond stopped rambling on the marvelous thing that is ramen – And oh my, only God and Kyuubi know how he went from complaining about himself not being able to wear a kimono when he attended the festival back then -because he wasn't there to enjoy the celebration, but rather, was there training- to him worshipping the unhealthy food –And Sasuke surprised himself that he was actually paying attention- and stared, taken back by the Uchiha's question. He searched the charcoal eyes with his blue ones, but they were hidden by the long dark bangs.

"umm… sorry? You said something?" he asked blinking innocently.

Suddenly, Sasuke's head shot up and he glared deadly at Naruto.

"Kiss me." It was an order… definitely not a request… And he didn't like the way he was looking at him, like he was trying to burn holes in him… But he heard him at least.

'Yeah… Now you're being a demon again…Stupid Skitzo…'

He tried to understand the change of heart though…

"Sasuke…? Why are you so upset." His voice didn't betray him this time… He was used to his ex-best friend's swinging mood… and he tried to deal with it calmly… like the adult he is.

"Just do it!" the sentence came from clenching teeth… and Naruto knew that it wasn't the time to play the psychologist… He will just obey for now… and maybe he will understand the problem later.

He composed himself, covering his body awkwardly with the kimono and walked quietly, making sure he didn't stumble on the long edge of the clothes a second time, towards the awaiting Uchiha.

When he stopped in front of him, he took a moment watching him glaring down on him. His blue eyes darkened a little more. He didn't want this… A kiss is supposed to be sweet, shared by two persons who love each other… Or at least are not angry and looking like ready to kill their supposed to be 'lover'… He knew it, he won't enjoy the kiss, nor will Sasuke. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed before glaring back at the frowning face.

"You're taller than me! Teme!" it was just above a whisper, the voice was just slightly angry, and a little pout showed on the tanned face.

The sentence surprised the raven and it made his tense muscles relax.

"Hn." He didn't smile, nor got angry… his facial expression didn't change… but Naruto can see that Sasuke had forgiven him. He didn't know what he did wrong, but apparently, it was forgotten… and this thought made a warm and true smile appear on his face.

"Bastard… playing with my nerves…" no matter how he looked at it… Sasuke could only feel warmth and affection from the way the voice sounded to his ears… And he decided that, exceptionally, he would let the blond win the verbal game…

A tanned hand came up- leaving the obi it was desperately trying to hold in place- to the pale face... It removed the long bangs, making it easier for its owner to look at the onyx eyes…

"Your hair has gotten pretty long…"

"You don't like it?"

"uh? No! I do! It suits you! ...well if you think about it, everything suits you anyway…" He took a small lock of hair between his tanned fingers and watched while playing with it.

"It's soft…" he whispered. Then he looked up to meet the dark eyes. "…Just cut the bangs… they are too long, and don't allow me to see your face nor your eyes…"

Sasuke looked at the blond, his eyes not even blinking once.

"Hn." Then his eyes traveled down the tanned face and stopped at a pair of smiling pink lips.

The action made the smile bigger and he watched as those pink lips came closer… and he closed his eyes.

He didn't feel the lips right away… he felt Naruto's breath on his pale ones before… then, the tip of his nose made contact with something… and that something began nuzzling with it. He figured it was Naruto's nose.

Then, suddenly, the blond withdraw completely, making him open his eyes quickly and stare at the tanned and smiling face with a confused look… he was even deprived of that body warmth!

"… what are you doing?"

"What? You gave me an order, I obliged."

"You didn't."

"I sure did!"

That foolish grin was still plastered on his face… and it made Sasuke feeling annoyed.

"Is that so? How did you accomplish that?"

A tanned finger rose up and patted an equally tanned nose.

"Eskimo kiss!" He stated with a victorious grin. Everything was so perfect, so normal… For just that tiny moment, he allowed himself to joke, to play around… just like they used to when they were kids.

Right now, they were friends again… That's how he felt. And he cherished every moment, hoping that it would last.

Sasuke stared at him for a moment with a look of 'has he lost his mind?' until his eyes grew wider in understanding…. Well, as much as an Uchiha eye can get wide anyway…

He glared at the stupid blond.

" It wasn't what I wanted and you know it!"

"You ordered me to kiss you… you didn't explain the nature of the kiss." It was said casually with a shrug of shoulders.

He was going to retort when he got interrupted.

"Just help me fix this damn thing and let's go eat! I'm huuuuuuuuuuuuuungryyyyyyyyyy!" he gave a miserable look and a pout in addition to his childish annoying request.

The raven blinked once… twice… then shook his head. He briefly wondered how is it possible for a 17 years old grown up man to be so cute and adorable with a childish face…

He took a step towards his smartass slave and proceeded to help him wear the abomination.

"Turn around." The blond did so, and let his master do everything… until he noticed something…

"No Way! That belt-like thingy is attached behind? And I wasted so much time trying to tie it from the front!" he huffed… and he earned a snort from behind him. He could perfectly picture Sasuke shaking his head- or rolling his eyes- at him. And the thought made him grin.

That's when he noticed… he was grinning, smiling… Like nothing had happened… That's right, he was acting as if nothing has changed, as if they were still living in the past… As if he was happy. But he wasn't. Well, in some way, he is… He is with Sasuke… But this wasn't enough! He should be mourning! Mourning the loss of all his family… his friends…all those persons whom he cared deeply about and that trusted him… And he should mourn the loss of his best friend… Because, Sasuke died. A long time ago. This person behind him is not his old friend for whom he trained like crazy… Maybe what they are living right now is real, but it's fake in so many ways. His Sasuke would have never destroyed the village, nor killed everyone. His Sasuke wasn't a monster, who threatened to rape his friend if he didn't comply with his whims. This person may act like his Sasuke, but he is just a mere shadow of the person he cared so deeply about. The only thing they have in common is the body.

He felt suddenly empty… As the memories of that dreadful day came back, he lost his smile, his eyes darkened even more, taking the shade of deep ocean blue. He was with the enemy… forgetting at a dangerous pace what happened… and it only has been few hours since he woke up. And, as the icing on the cake, he was not only with the enemy, but with the enemy. He had kissed him, hugged him and as the final blow that took away all his lingering positive feelings, he had even felt pleasure while doing so.

He wanted to comfort, to fool himself by thinking that as a slave, as the war's seize, he has to do those things… but deep inside, he knows. He likes this… 'This is ridiculous…' He was alone… so completely alone… And even if he liked them, few kisses and body warmth will never erase this lonely feeling. In reality, Sasuke wasn't the person to blame… it was his own fault. Because he couldn't save anyone. Neither his fellow ninja friends nor his raven best friend… He was the real killer… he is the real monster.

A surge of guilt overwhelmed him, as a sudden need to puke. Naruto was so disgusted with himself that he felt like throwing up, even if his stomach was empty… as empty as his chest.

He started feeling dizzy, and his legs gave up on holding him up. As he fell on one knee, Sasuke bent down automatically.

"Naruto?" His hands left the blond's back to touch Naruto's which were covering his mouth. If Naruto looked up into Sasuke's eyes at that moment, he would have seen worry and fear. But he didn't… instead, just when he felt Sasuke's hand on his own, he shoved the raven brutally away from him as he slid on the ground completely.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Was all he said before shutting up when he saw his master's face.

Sasuke's face was as blank as ever, but his eyes betrayed him. In those onyx orbs, Naruto could see confusion, shock but above all, loneliness and despair.

He regretted instantly what he had done and the guilt of betraying friends nearly disappeared completely as the guilt of hurting the most important person to him shook his body with full force.

He crawled towards the raven, shaking a little.

"Sa-Sasuke! ... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that!"

They were having the perfect moment… they were having fun; Sasuke was beginning to open up a little… But he ruined everything with his depressing thoughts… He was really useless…

The young Uchiha turned his head away from Naruto's direction and hid his eyes with his bangs.

He didn't answer, but he didn't move either. So Naruto did the only thing that came to his mind: He put his arms around Sasuke's neck and hugged him tightly, sitting on his lap.

Still no response from the raven. So the blond tentatively tried to excuse himself.

"Ah… I… I'm sorry! I-I don't know what has gotten into me…hey… Sasuke… are you angry…?" His voice was dropping low by each sentence, until it was only a whisper. "Sasuke…?"

Naruto was sure that the Uchiha could hear his heart. It was beating so loudly and so fast. He was scared… He didn't know why, and of what, but he felt that if his ex-bestfriend would smile at him like he had been doing just some minutes ago, then everything would turn for the better. Especially for him.

He rubbed his cheek against Sasuke's neck, as a tanned hand went up to caress raven locks.

"Sasuke…" He was so tired… and sleepy… he felt as if all his strength was being drained away from him. And he didn't know why, but he suddenly craved for something… and he didn't hesitate to ask.

"Sasuke… kiss me…"

When he didn't get an answer, he thought that Sasuke didn't hear him, for the whisper was maybe too low… so he turned his head towards the raven's face and kissed his jaw lightly. That's when he felt solid arms around his waist.

Naruto sighed slightly, as he felt his important person's body relax against him. He continued to press his lips on the same spot of the raven's jaw line, until he felt Sasuke turn his head towards him.

This time, he couldn't read his eyes anymore. They were cold and cruel… and that's it. The barrier was back. He shivered a little, though he didn't draw away, as he closed his eyes, waiting for the kiss.

However, all he felt was a cold touch on his nose before it vanished as quickly as it came. He opened his eyes abruptly and stared at the person in front of him, dumbfounded.

"It wasn't even an Eskimo kiss… you did it wrong." He said flatly, before a low chuckle escaped his lips at the blank stupid face in front of him.

At the small sound, Sasuke's eyes softened and a trace of a smile could be seen if you studied his face in a close up range. And luckily, Naruto was at an enough distance from the raven to see the smile and the semblance of warmth that smoothed his features.

Sasuke has forgiven him. That thought made him so happy, and relief flooded all over him, that he started to chuckle again, uncontrollably, as a tear escaped his lashes.

Sasuke's grip on him was firm, and the blond clung on him desperately. The chuckle turned laughter continued on in a crazy way, filling his master's room… their room.

'You make me want to hate you till I want to kill you… Yet at the same time, I can't get enough of you…You're going to be the end of me…'

As he walked into the hall of the castle, Naruto couldn't see anything besides Sasuke's back.

He felt more at peace now. Because he knows. Yes, he should regret. He should hate. But he can't do it. Not if his opponent is Sasuke. He will mourn, that's certain. But he won't think of revenge, nor let the guilt seize him again. He has a new goal now… A real one! To save Sasuke. He smiled inwardly. He is happy. In a kind of weird masochistic way, that's for sure. But he is. At least, that's how he is feeling right now. Maybe…

"What are you thinking about?"

The deep low voice startled him from his thought and he looked up. He nearly bumped into the Lord's shoulder. He smiled faintly before taking his master's hand and lacing his fingers with his. He shook his head lightly to reassure him, before standing on his tiptoes to kiss the raven's cheek.

Sasuke looked at him with that ever-lasting emotionless face, before the warmth came back. He wasn't smiling, but Naruto was still satisfied. He pressed himself against his body, seeking affection and assurance and closed his blue eyes. That's when one thought came up. Since he woke up, Sasuke was worried. About him.

He looked up, his cheeks rosy a little as the thought played tricks on his mind. When he met charcoal eyes for the hundredth time that day, he could see it again. Warmth, but also anxiousness. So he smiled broadly at him.

"I was wondering where were we going…?" he offered lamely.

The raven snorted at the apparent lie, but answered nonetheless.

"Weren't you hungry?"

GAH! I'm sooooooo sorry! I understand that you hate me… TT^TT

I'm so lazy! I could have posted this chapter since October! But I didn't… Why you ask? Because I'm lazy… -_-"

I'm so embarrassed! But I will try to change now! I hope… maybe… I will try…

Anyway, this is my happy new year gift to all of you who follow this fic! Thank YOU! :)

Special thanks to BloodRed Wolf15 who was the first to review the second chapter!

And a big BIG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING to: Sayomi-hime (I like it that you like it!), horsegirl08 (sorry, I will try to update faster…), The Sadistic Optimist (your review made me laugh XD thank you for your support it means a lot), Cakeat (you see things that I didn't see while writing the fic… thank you for pointing it out! It helps for the further chapters), Sgofyyah13 (It updated again! XD), bluedemon92 (Naruto is even more miserable here… and would still be…), LovelessXHeartlessXSoulless (here, there is even more skitzo-Naruto in this one!), SasuNaruAllDay (The Imou-Production is sorry that your command, The burger chapter, had been served so late… we will try to compensate the waiting time by offering it), Mary-before I became a member (I'm glad you liked it! I will try my best to make it even more fantastic!), hollowsmile (yep… poor Naru…), Abstract Robin (Hello there, I will keep going if I have more reviews! :p), blue (Many people are asking me to make it Mpreg… It wasn't supposed to, but I think I will make a poll… You readers will decide!), WritingIsMyGift (right? He is too nice…), sasunaru (you're even more super for reviewing !), skyglazingMaro ( Sasuke always acts strange towards Naruto… XD), shixen (I UPDATED! So now you will love me forever! But the sex scenes will not come now… *waits to receive the promised plushies*), SasuNaru0448 (look! I did!), cookytara (It's still hanging XD), Jammy8694 (I'm so happy you liked it! Don't worry, this chapter is soft, but I plan to show Sasuke's craziness in two more chapters…), Bunnii (I will try to update sooner), SnowWolf14 (I know! I'm planning to end this story! Even if it will take 80years! I will end it!), Refrigerator-Burn (I did! Nice nickname by the way ;))

Voila! I understand that many of you are getting desperate and afraid, but don't worry: I plan to finish my fics! Even Shuffle… though it's been long since I updated it, I will end everything I started! Promise! Just keep reading and reviewing! If no one review this story, then there is a possibility that the next chapter won't come out before 2012…

Oh! and before I forget, I'm gonna make a poll... there are so many people who want this fic to be Mpreg, but I wasn't planning to do it... so if you want to vote for Mpreg than go to my profile! I will try to please you as much as I can! To have a pregnant Naruto or not in this fic will only depend on you! so don't be lazy and go vote!

AAAAAAnd: HAPPY NEW YEAR! May the following months bring you joy, love and success! see you in the next chapter! ;)