It had been a long day for Roy Mustang. He'd had to work much longer than normal, due to his persistent procrastination when it came to paperwork - Hawkeye had refused to let him go until he'd finished it all. How unfair! He hadn't had time to do it anyway - his day had been chock-full of other importants things, such as... well... he'd think of something later.

However, when he came home to hear Ed throwing a massive temper tantrum in the kitchen, he actually felt his spirits rise. Even when Ed was being a brat (which was the vast majority of the time), he was adorable.

"DAMN IT! WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME? I KNEW YOU DIDN'T EXIST, GOD!"

Adorable in a loud, obnoxious and overdramatic way, of course. Roy rolled his eyes.

Roy cautiously made his way down the hallway, while Ed continued to curse everything and everyone he could think of at the top of his voice.

He came to a stop just outside the kitchen door and peeked through at Ed, who was totally oblivious to his presence. And was also standing with one foot in the oven, for some reason Roy couldn't quite fathom.

The older man approached Ed from behind and placed a hand on his shoulder, prompting a strange high-pitched shriek from the short blond and a clattering as Ed jumped in surprise and shook the oven.

"GAH! BASTARD! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Ed exclaimed. "You nearly gave me a goddamn heart attack!"

"Having difficulties, are we?" Roy said. He glanced at Ed's foot, which was still in the oven. "...cooking your own foot?"

Ed scowled at him. "No."

There was silence for a few awkward moments.

"...and the reason is?" Roy prompted, as Edward seemed to have absolutely no intentions of actually saying any more.

"You tell me!" Ed said stubbornly, looking away and pouting. Roy raised an eyebrow. Ed was actually pouting.

"Stop pouting and tell me already," Roy said, smirking his signature smirk.

"POUTING? I AM NOT POUTING!" yelled Ed, pointing at Roy angrily. "YOU are pouting! Gah!"

Roy rolled his eyes again. "Of course, Edward..." He glanced upwards. And smirked. "Having trouble reaching?" he grinned slyly, glancing down at Ed again, looking smug.

"I wanted biscuits and the oven was a tool in trying to get up there," Ed grumbled. "Because SOMEONE," he glared very pointedly at the man in front of him, "thought it would be a good idea to put them on a high shelf because he's a bastard." There was a slight pause before Ed added sarcastically, "I wonder who that was."

Roy paused for a minute and grabbed the biscuits. "Well, for one I didn't know you liked them," he murmured, looking down to examine the packet of biscuits as though they were the most interesting thing in the world. "For another, it's highly amusing when you get angry." He glanced back up and looked at Ed, grinning wickedly.

Ed just stood there, seething and glaring daggers.

"Ah, you're just too adorable, my darling little shorty," Roy said in a patronising tone, bending down and kissing Ed firmly before running away from the explosion he was certain would come, still holding the biscuits, which he was determined not to give Ed. Perfect; just another way to annoy him!

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE BISCUITS? His pants, oh you've got to be kidding me... WELL DON'T THINK I WON'T GO DOWN THERE, BASTARD!"

*shrugs*

I have no idea. It's midnight and this seemed to come out of nowhere. Don't hold it against me, I know it's stupid. -_-

Eheh... review and you get three wishes from my wish-granting Ed plushie! If you don't review, I'll call Ed and get him to give you a savage beating with his automail. Nice, huh?