"Sirius, look! There she is… Lily." James sighed dreamily.

Sirius rolled his eyes, shrugging hopelessly as he glanced at Remus.

"What should I say, Pads? She'll never notice me if I don't do anything…"

"Really Prongs, you should be an expert on this by now! But if you really need my help…"

"I do!" James said eagerly. Sirius pulled a small, leather bound book from his bag. A golden title was emblazoned on the spine: "The Ultimate Handbook to getting your girl."

"Every pick up line ever used on a girl is in that book. You're bound to find one that works." Sirius said casually, flinging the book at his friend, before returning to his toast.

"This book is a god send!" James exclaimed gleefully, skimming through the pages eagerly. "I'm really going to have to thank-" he checked the cover of the book- "S. R. Lack!"

"Oh yeah. Definitely." Sirius said, glancing at Remus, and grinning evilly. Remus smiled serenely into his cereal bowl.

James stood up after finding a line he thought would work, and sauntered confidently to where Lily was sitting. "Hey Evans. Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away."

Lily looked disgusted. "Potter, that is foul. If you ever try to use such a stupid pick up line on me again, I won't rest until you have flying boogers all over your face!"

James returned to his seat, looking slightly put out.

"Don't worry Prongs! Cheer up." Remus said bracingly. "She said if you use another stupid one. So, logically, all you have to do is find a better one!"

James brightened up immediately. "You're right. That's not hard, I can do that! Come on guys, we've got a free period now!" he bounced off to the common room, and Peter hurried to follow him.

"You don't think he'll realise that S.R. Lack is just our names smashed together?" Remus asked critically.

"Moony. This is James. Of course not!"

"True." Remus sighed. "You realise if he does figure this out though, we are dead."

"Stop being such a pessimist, Moony! He'll be too busy trying to get Evans to think of anything else."

"Do you think I should tell Lily to maybe give him a bit of slack on just one of them?" Remus asked. Sirius shook his head quickly.

"No way, Moony. Seeing her explode is way more fun. Stop being such goodie good. Come on, let's go."

"If you say so." Remus muttered, following Sirius up the marble staircase.

James spent the whole period eagerly reading the book, his expression one of such deep concentration, Remus was starting to get slightly concerned.

"Is he ok, do you think? Mentally? Should we have made it smaller? "

"Na. He never was." Sirius replied, turning back to the Marauders map with Peter.

"Remus! Is this a good one?" James shoved the book under Remus' nose, almost knocking his ink bottle all over his essay.

"Oh, that's much better." Remus assured him, righting the bottle as Lily climbed through the portrait hole, chatting with Alice and Elsa.

"Oi Evans! Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?"

Lily glared at him, gripping her wand tightly.

"James, try this one." Sirius shoved the book at him.

"Evans! What has 142 teeth, and holds back the incredible hulk?"

"What Potter?" Lily groaned.

"My zipper."

"THAT IS IT!"

There was a loud shriek, and James ran, knocking the table over as he went, along with Remus' essay and the bottle of ink.

Sirius watched his friend try to pull the giant flying boogers off his face, unable to stop laughing.

"I spent four hours on that essay!" Remus groaned, picking up the black dripping piece of parchment.

"Never mind, Moony, you can copy mine. We are pure genius, you know." Sirius said, smirking as Lily tried to curse James again.

"Oh Joy." Remus muttered darkly. Pranking with Sirius was never a good idea…