There comes a time in every man's life he becomes so overwhelmed by fear that he loses his sanity for a couple of moments and displays an ungodly amount of courage. Courage that would unlock the hidden abilities that laid dormant deep down within. Teaching him things about himself that he never knew and surpassing any know limits. Making him grow and change into a real man.

For Hanatarou that moment was... not now. That moment had gone and past three times over. Before him stood the infamous doggy captain of 7th division, a name that vice-captain Yachiru happily spread through the Gotei 13. A captain that could hold his own against Zaraki, admittedly not very long, but still…. A captain that was roughly 4 times as large as him. And he here he was one of the weakest shinigami in his division, a division itself infamous for weaklings, currently with the appearance of a cat.

Say what you may about him, but he was still smart enough to realize that this was not a situation to that he wanted to be in.

Time began to slow to a crawl as Hanatarou watched in slow motion as Komamura lunged forward towards him. His whole life flashed before him. Wait... was that right? Technically he was soul so he wasn't really alive. So was it his whole death flashed before his life. But you can't die if you already dead can you? Hm... This required some thought. Was it his un-death? But wouldn't that make him a zombie if was undead? He didn't go around eating brains so he couldn't be a zombie, or was he?

As his mind fumbled to make sense of the proper name of his existence, the time slowed Komamura moved another millimeter closer. His brain kicked in that this was neither the time for him to be contemplating the proper label for his existence. He would have argued that if this wasn't the time then one didn't exist, but already the slide show that was his life, began to play.

His first memories of being reincarnated in the Seiretei…

Being shoved into a door…

His first birthday…

The itching powder that someone put in his robes that day…

His acceptance into the academy…

Hazing by his seniors…

Becoming a member of the fourth division…

Being chased by the eleventh division…

Meeting Rukia…

Getting Kidnapped by Ichigo…

The memories continued to flash by in a similar pattern before finally coming back to this particular moment.

As the brief two second flashback came to an end, Hanatarou managed to come to what was perhaps the single most profound conclusion ever. His life sucked. Not only that, but apparently he was some huge cosmic joke to the world. Oddly enough he was comfortable with that, it at least explained why bad stuff always happened to him.

As he was swiftly lifted up, Hanatarou closed his eyes and prayed that he it'd be quick and moderately painful rather than slow and extremely painful, also he prayed that Komamura-taicho would get a bad cause of indigestion from eating him.

However death never quite came. Instead of being mauled to death by the giant 8th division captain Hanatarou was instead hoisted up and found himself caught in a what appeared to be a hug. As his puzzled brain tried to figure out why he wasn't quite torn to shreds and slowly traveling down the afore mentioned captain's esophagus, he instead found himself being twirled as Komamura laughed. After about half a minute the spinning stopped and He was gently put down. Still dizzy from the impromptu twirling Hanatarou struggled to maintain his balance as he waited for the dizziness to stop.

"HaHaHa… sorry small one." Komamura laughed, apologizing. "It's good to see another like me around." Hanatarou blinked, confused for a moment trying to figure out what Komamura moment another like him.

"Another?" he questioned.

"Yes another…" Komamura started and stopped trying to figure out what word to use. Hm this was problem. He had never quite thought to label what he was. After giving your species a name when you were the only one was kind of redundant and unnecessary. As he contemplated what to call them his mind flashed back to when he had last visited earth. There had been several individuals like himself walking around. He had been pleasantly surprised to find so many of his own kind. What was it they called themselves again? Furkie? No,Funkie? No that wasn't it, had something to do with his fur. Ah was it furry? Yeah that was it furry. "Yes another furry!" Now that he had finally found another on he could finally do that fur pile thing that they had talk about when he had been on earth. Once he figured what that was.

Hanatarou stared dumbly as Komamura towered over him grinning. "Furry… Sir?" Somehow he had a bad feeling about that particular word. Like it was far too dangerous to be thrown around quite like Komamura-taicho was. Not that he was going to say anything. He was not going to press luck with this, not when Komamura teeth looked so sharp.

"Yes. I heard it when I was in the human world last." Grabbing the hapless seventh seat and crushing him yet another bear hug. Hanatarou couldn't help but feel that this was vaguely similar to what had happened with Matsumoto-fukutaicho not very long ago, granted nowhere near as pleasant, but still every bit as life threating.

Iba's eyes twitched as he watched the display in horror. Granted no one could see this behind the heavy shades.

It was no secret that Iba had spent an insane amount of time trying to recruit Komamura into the SMA. The Shinigami Male Association needed a leader like him. Sure Iba himself was amongst the manliest of manly man. How could he not be, he was the leader of the SMA after all. A position that had required him to be a man amongst men. How else could he effectively lead such a group of testosterone filled males

Its members were the shining examples of what it was to be a true man. First there was Ukitake, a man who was not only gravely ill, but at times coughed up blood and still managed to attend all meetings. If wasn't manly than nothing was. Next was Vice-President: Iemura , one had to be a true man say what was ever on his mind at any given time without hesitation. Granted he was severely unpopular with the ladies and the like, but that was of little consequence to a man of his caliber. Hisagi had a manly tattoo on his face. Chairman Akon who was so badass he didn't even have eyebrows. Izuru Zanpakuto made people apologize. He contemplated what made Marechiyo and Harunobu manly before, promptly forgetting about the two minor characters. Deep down he could sense they were manly, because why else would they be members of the Shinigami Male association, his inner man told him so.

As a rule, only true men could join such an elite group as the SMA, unlike the SWA who took in members without prejudice. It was the reason why Captains like Byakuya Kuchiki and Kyōraku Shunsui, who were content with playing with flowers and wearing pink, were consistently denied entry into the SMA. Or rather the reality being the two men consistently flat out refusing to join the organization. Kuchiki deeming it beneath him to join and Kyōraku-taicho proclaiming that he'd rather spend that time getting laid or getting drunk.

He knew better though, they were just intimidated by the sheer awesomeness that was the SMA. Not that could blame them. It had to be difficult for one who wasn't used to being around awesomeness.

He knew his captain was even more of a man than he was, despite his canine appearance. In fact that added to his manliness. It was exactly this and his perchance for cute animals that prevented Iba from extending an invitation to his captain into the SMA. What would the other members say if they saw this display of unmanliness?

It was his duty as vice-captain to save his captain from himself. Searching his pockets for the one thing that his captain had entrusted him with should things ever go arye.

"GO FETCH!" He cried flinging the object, a red rubber ball as hard as he could. In an instant Hanatarou was tossed aside in favor of the retrieving the flying object.

Gasping for air Hanatarou tried to capture his breath. "Iba-fukutaicho… Thank… you…" He gasped heavily. Before he could continue Hanatarou was once again knocked unconscious for what would be at least the third time that day. Grabbing the unconscious catboy Iba checked the area quickly to make sure there were no nearby witnesses before opening a nearby manhole and diving down. He emerged a minute later, climbing out of a manhole that was no more twenty feet. Emerging from the hole, Iba swiftly ducked into the nearby bathroom that was the secret( not really) headquarters of the SMA.

Awaking with a groan Hanatarou cursed his luck once more. He was really getting tired of constantly blacking out. At least the first two times hadn't hurt. "Uh what happened? Where are we?"

Iba turned towards the now conscious boy. "I had move you to the secret location of the SMA headquarters. However I can't let nonmembers know of its location.

Blinking Hanatarou glanced around the room. "Um… Isn't this the bathroom just outside of seventh division."

"No… No it isn't…"

"Yes it is. See it says it right there." Hanatarou pointed to the sign saying 'Shinigami Men's Assocation, located in the bathroom directly outside the seventh division barracks'. Iba groaned, he really needed to talk to the others about being a bit more discrete. That however would have to wait till another day. Right now he had to deal with the obstacle in front him right now.

"Anyway Iba-fukutaicho I have to thank you for saving me from Komamura-taicho a few more seconds and I was sure I was going to die. Oh excuse me where are my manners. I'm the fourth division's Seventh seat Yamada Hanatarou" Hanatarou thanked bowing graciously to his savior, who was busy plotting the best way keep Hanatarou out of the sight of Komamura until he had successfully recruit his captain into the SMA. "Man its been one crazy day. First I was kidnapped, experimented on, than I was shoved into a box and surrounded by the a bunch of women from the women's association who all wanted to do horrible things to me. I managed to escape, but I think they're still looking for me." Hanatarou breathed out.

"Wait did you just say your being chased by the Women's association."

"Yes. Yes I am, I'd be grateful, if you could hide me from them." Hanatarou begged eyes pleading.

"I see." It all made sense now. Why Hanatarou had suddenly appeared when he had. It was all a nefarious trap set by the evil Women's association draw Komamura-taicho onto their side. How could he not have seen it before. "You're a brave man Hirosuke, for dealing with them."

"Um…. my names Hanatarou."

"Yes, yes I know Hirosuke"

"Um… its Hanataraou sir."

"This changes everything Hirosuke," Iba began ignoring the correction "I was just gonna knock you out and hide you in a closet for a couple of days till Taicho got tired of looking for you. But now I see that's not that right. I see I was wrong. It's far too dangerous to leave you somewhere they could simply find you. No action must be taken to insure you don't fall into their notorious hands." Hanatarou let out a sigh of relief, he had managed to dodge a serious bullet somehow. Maybe God didn't hate him. "It pains me to have to kill you Hirosuke" Or maybe not. ", but it's the only way to insure they aren't able to get their hands on you."

Hanatarou didn't even bother to correct him this time. Rather he was a little more concerned about the killing part. "Wait. So you're going to kill me, to save me?"

"Don't you see this effects far more than just you or I. It's the very future of the Men's association at stake. I can't allow us to fall at the ploy of the SWA. I'm sure you're willing to sacrifice yourself for the SMA."

"No!" Hanatarou answered quickly. "No I'm not!"

"That's the spirit. Your sacrifice will be remembered by future generations of the SMA to come!"

"But I'm not even part of the SMA."

"True men don't let such a thing hold them back, after your death Hirosuke shall be an honorarily, inducted into the SMA hall of fame." He had long ago given up trying to correct the delusional vice-captain, instead opting to bolt out of the bathroom and run towards freedom.

"Hey come back it's for the good of all men that you die today." Iba cried in hot pursuit.

Wasting no time he bolted towards the very first person that he could see. Perhaps they could save him from Iba's insanity. Unfortunately for him hadn't paid attention to who he was running towards and ended up in front of Nanao Ise. The woman who conveniently named him her Yaoi pet. Suddenly being killed by Iba wasn't such a bad thing anymore

E/N: I have so many excuses it's not even funny. I would tell you all but I'm sure you don't want to hear them. So I'll just apologize. Maybe later as tell you what exactly happened. I'll probably change the authors note and tell you exactly what went on. Hopefully you enjoyed this it's been sitting on various computers for almost a year. I can promise I'll be updating much more frequently than this. Till next time.