Heavily M, so you're warned.

Part 5: Rachel (II)

I really needed to get home and away from all of this. I also needed to start coordinating outfits for the upcoming week. I was definitely going to need extras for the deal I struck. I put a load of washing on and scooped two scoops of vanilla ice cream into a bowl. I made my way upstairs to my room and popped in my 'Funny Girl' Dvd.

I sat comfortably on my bed, a pillow in my lap. This was normalcy.

I got through three quarters of the movie before I heard the doorbell ring. Confused at who could be at the door, I pressed pause and set my pillow aside and made my way down the stairs to the front door. I checked the peep hole and saw Finn standing at my door. 'Huh?' I thought to myself.

"I know you're there Rach." Finn said through the door. "I can see your shadow under the door."

I rolled my eyes and unlocked the door and pulled it open. Finn was standing there holding a To-Go box in one hand.

"You know, when we made that deal earlier at dinner, I was pretty sure this wasn't part of it." I said waving between us. I didn't open the door all the way; I didn't want to make it look like I was inviting him in. I know how awkward I make things between us all the time.

"Will you at least let me in? I brought you some of that cake you wanted." He said lifting the box in his hand gently. He smiled at me and I knew I was lost. I sighed in defeat before. I'm so weak.

I left the door open and walked further into my entryway and headed for the kitchen. "Just close the door behind you."

I heard the click of the door and headed for the drawer with spoons. I took two out but kept one hidden. I didn't want to presume too much. I heard him enter the kitchen and turned around. I motioned toward the island and the stools around it. He took one at the corner so I took the one next to it so we were facing each other. "So, why did you come by? I don't mean to sound rude, because I am very much tempted by what's inside that box, but I'm just wondering why you're here."

I went to reach for the box but he pushed it away from me. "Not so fast. You have to answer one question, and then you can have the cake." He gave me a grin and I couldn't refuse, so I nodded consent. "What was that at the restaurant?" He asked with a tilt of his head.

I was a little confused as to what he might be referring to, maybe the deal? "Look, I know I don't have many friends, or any, really. But I didn't want my dad's to think that I couldn't make friends. I know I'm obnoxious and driven and it pushes people away. I don't want them to know that all they did for me turned me into, this." And before I could humiliate myself even more, I tried reaching for the box.

"Nope, that's not what I meant." Before he clarified himself though, he distracted me with the cake by opening the box and sliding it in my direction, "I meant about the friends thing, between us."

I glanced at him briefly before using one of my spoons to take a small spoonful of the cake. "Come on Finn, you know we'll never be friends. Not with everything that's between us." I brought the spoon to my mouth and indulged in the chocolaty goodness. It was true, what I said. We could never really be friends, it'll always come back to the fact that I'm in love with him and he's in love with Quinn, whose carrying his baby. We'd never make it as friends.

"You got a spoon for me?" He asked with sad smile. I swallowed and grinned before showing him the other spoon I'd nabbed from the draw before sitting down. "Thanks." He said taking it from me and scooping up a small bit of cake as well.

"Thanks for the cake." I said after a few seconds of silence. I knew it was going to be awkward, but he'd brought cake. I couldn't refuse. It has to be my one weakness. Chocolate Mousse Cake and Finn Hudson.

"Truth?" He asked as he fiddled with his spoon.

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I supposed nothing could be worse than the awkward silence we were sitting in before. "Ok."

"If I weren't with Quinn, would that make a difference?" Finn asked carefully.

Ok, so Finn was ruining Chocolate Mousse Cake for me. I slid my spoon into another bite of cake. "No, she's carrying your child Finn." I couldn't meet his eyes because he'd be able to see that I would take him any way I could get him, but my dad's brought me up with some morals, and messing with Finn and Quinn and their unborn baby, was not something I wanted to do.

Finn just nodded, "And if there wasn't a baby? What then?" He asked and my chest started to hurt.

"But there is a baby, and you are with Quinn. We can't do 'what ifs' Finn. This is just how it's going to be. It's going to be ok. You're going to be a great dad." I placed a hand on his forearm to reassure him, but it was all I could do not to throw up having to say those words to him. For one fleeting second I wished I was pregnant with Finn's baby.

Before I could think more on that I heard some rustling behind us and confused I turn to look behind me at the kitchen entrance. "What are you doing in my house?" I asked jumping off my stool.

"Finn, man? You're fucking this up." Puck says to Finn completely ignoring me. He just continues to stroll into my kitchen, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He comes to stand beside Finn but before I can even make sense of what's going on Quinn Fabray is also standing in my kitchen.

"What the hell is going on? Why are you in my kitchen? In my house?!" This night just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. I have no idea what is going on and now my house has been invaded.

"Rude, much? Just shut it for one minute!" Quinn exclaims before rolling her eyes at me.

I'm actually completely speechless.

"Quinn." I hear Finn say in a tone that speaks of multiple warnings.

Quinn just shrugs her shoulders and moves further into my kitchen, "At least I didn't give her a new nickname. I should get brownie points for that."

Finn just looks frustrated, "You know what? Rach, I'm sorry about this, we're just leaving." He stands up and I still have no idea what is even going on.

Puck grabs Finn on the shoulder and forces him back onto the stool. "Just tell her already. I'm getting sick of the 90210 drama."

Quinn just looks at Finn expectantly. Actually, we're all looking at Finn and he just sits there looking at the table top.

"Oh Christ on a cracker! Ok, here's the thing Rachel, Finn, is completely in love with you. Has been for years, actually. And he hasn't had the guts to tell you." Quinn just puts her hands on her hips and it's in that moment I notice she's begun showing a little. Wait. Finn is in love with me?

I look at Finn who refuses to meet my eyes, "Finn?"

Puck looks put out, "If you're going to tell her anything at least tell her the whole truth!" But when no one is forthcoming, especially Finn, I just give Puck a pointed glare. He huffs out a breath but I can see he's getting ready to tell me something important. "Ok, so Finn is completely in love with you. But the reason he's too scared to tell you, is because, well, the thing is, well, we're in a relationship."

There's silence for a few seconds while I try to gather my thoughts, "You and Finn?" I ask trying to understand any of what they're telling me.

"Quinn, Finn and Myself. We're in a relationship. Together." Puck clarifies for me.

Now I'm staring at all three in a new light. I was not expecting that turn of events. "Well, that's lovely for you, I guess?" I'm really not sure what this has to do with Finn being in love with me, or what I'm supposed to do with this information. "I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about."

Quinn just looks pissed off now. I can kind of relate, my head is feeling all dizzy and I don't understand any of this. I hope I wake up soon.

"She doesn't get it." Quinn says before taking a deep breath, "What we're trying to say, and that you're completely oblivious to, is that there is three of us in this relationship," she looks away briefly and I can see this is quite hard for her to admit, "we're unbalanced. We're missing our fourth." She pauses for a few seconds and I'm not quite sure what she's waiting for. But with that said, and no time for me to react, she makes three territorial steps in my direction. Before I even know what's happening, her left hand has a hold of the side of my neck while her right hand is gripping my hip and her lips are crashing against mine. I've never kissed a girl, and I really had never planned to, but this is, well, it's quite nice. I can feel her tongue brushing against my lips and I part them slightly, just waiting to see what she might do next. Her tongue brushes mine and I can't help but begin kissing her back. It's be rude to refuse, right? My hands find her hips, but it's her that pushes me against the fridge. Her right hand is creeping up my side, beneath the tank top I'm wearing. And I'm certain I'm turned on.

She breaks the kiss first but she barely moves her face away from mine. She stares into my eyes, and I'm beginning to understand what it is about Quinn Fabray that draws people in. "Do you get it now?" She whispers breathlessly.

I continue to stare into her eyes for a few short moments, my breathing laboured. I slightly avert my eyes to look over at Puck and Finn who are now both standing ready for how I might react. I look back at Quinn who is gently rubbing her thumb against the underside of my breast. "But, you hate me." And that's all I can think to say.

She blushes and looks away for a second before meeting my eyes again, "Not as much as you'd think." I glance down at her lips and watch as her tongue slides across her top lip. What is happening to me?

"Look, Rach, nothing has to happen. I just needed you to know. We'll give you time to think about it. But please don't tell anyone about us." Finn looks a little deflated and I'm really not sure why when I'm pretty sure I want to fuck Quinn Fabray. Again with the profanities.

I notice Finn is about to make his way out the door and if I don't make up my mind right now, I've lost him forever. I gently push Quinn away from me before taking a few quick steps so I can reach out and grab Finn's arm. I turn him around and before he even knows what's happening, I'm on the tips of my toes and my right arm is pulling him down toward me so I can kiss him properly. He's a little stunned and I can tell because it takes him a few seconds to relax into the kiss. It's not as fiery as the one Quinn and I just shared, but it doesn't need to be. I just need him to stay.

I break the kiss first because I need to know that he understands. He's looking into my eyes and I know he wants to ask, just to make sure my answer is clear. "I'm in love with you too." And I hope that's answer enough. He grins sheepishly and I find it absolutely adorable. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering what I just agreed to, but for now, I think I can live with this decision.

"You're not grossed out or anything? You know, about me and Puck?" Finn asks tentatively.

I just raise an eyebrow at him, "I'm sorry, did you not meet my two gay dad's at dinner this evening?" I hear Quinn giggle and shoot her a grin. Woah, slightly weird, but I can adjust to change quickly, just like any great performer. But then I remember the baby. How could I forget?

"And the baby? What happens about that?" I ask softly. I don't want to step away from Finn, but it feels like the conversation entitles me to my own space.

Finn looks up over at Quinn. I cross my arms as if in defence of what's coming. Quinn takes a step towards us and I'm not sure whether she realises it, but she's just placed her hands over her small belly, as if protecting it. "The baby isn't Finn's. It's Puck's. We just, don't know how to handle the fallout when it does come out at school."

I realise how scared and vulnerable Quinn looks right now. I step away from Finn because I think I'm beginning to understand my place in all this. I take the few remaining steps toward Quinn before pulling her into a hug. I give her shoulder a kiss and whisper that it's going to be ok because she's going to be a great mother and that I'll be there to help her through it. I take a small step away from Quinn and look down at her belly. I look back up at her before kissing the tips of my fingers and placing them on her belly.

"Damn hormones." I hear her mutter and I think I've said and done the right thing because she then pulls me in for another kiss. This one is brief though because she wants to know where my bedroom is. I'm very eager to show them so I gently grab Quinn's hand and lead her up to my room, the boys following close behind. I'm pretty certain I heard Puck mutter something to the effect of "finally."

When we make it to my room, I'm quick to turn off the tv, but I notice Puck heads for my stereo and CD collection. Clearly he's not impressed and doesn't even bother with looking through my iPod before pulling his own out of his back pocket and hooking it up to my stereo. I see him turn the knob on my volume and the numbers sore. I have a feeling we might get a complaint from the neighbours tomorrow.

Marilyn Manson's Heart Shaped Glasses blasts through my speakers and before I can think about the song choice, Quinn has pushed me down onto my bed. I know this should seem wrong, but I've never felt like I belonged more than in this moment. Quinn pulls her top up and over her head and drops it to the floor. She straddles my hips and leans down to capture my lips with hers. My right hand finds its way into her hair as my left caresses her side.

I roll us over because I have this overwhelming need to take care of her. I straddle her hips long enough to get rid of my tank top. Unlike Quinn, I had been ready for bed and braless. I feel a little exposed, especially as there are two other people in my room, but right now, I just want Quinn's approval. She grins before pulling my lips down to hers, my hair creating a curtain around our faces. I'm kissing her softly, but she wants it a little harder and I can't help but give in. I move my right hand beneath her back to unclasp her bra. I manage to get it undone on the first attempt and I can hear approval from the boys behind me, so I break the kiss to glance at them. They're standing shirtless and barefoot against my chest of drawers and I'm filled with anticipation for what's to come. And is that a nipple ring on Puck?

I slide my body over so I'm laying on Quinn's right keeping the boys in sight. My right hand reaches for the clasp on her jeans and I mange to unbutton and unzip them. My heart is racing and I feel like it's going to burst through my chest. I really don't have any idea what I'm doing, but I want to be in charge, because I don't think that I'll have that choice later. I move to kneel between her legs and begin to pull down her panties and jeans together. She helps me by lifting herself off the bed and then bending her knees. I fling the garments behind me and return my gaze back to her.

If I wasn't already jealous of her body in a Cheerio's uniform, then I'd be jealous now. I bend down and place a kiss on her belly where Puck's baby lies. But it's also half Quinn and I can't wait to see what it gets from either parent. I feel Quinn's hand run through the strands of my hair before gently coaxing me up to meet her lips again. I move my body back to rest against her side as my right hand slides down her body to the juncture between her legs. I prop myself up with my left arm, trapping her right arm under me. I lean down and whisper a secret, "I'm going to need your help." And one of the only times I ask anyone for help and it's to get a girl off. Interesting.

She doesn't reply, instead her left arm comes up and traces my right arm down to my hand. She guides my fingers down between her soft, wet folds and presses my index finger against her clit. She arches her body and lets out a low moan before guiding my finger into a circular motion. I feel Quinn's right hand on my back. Actually, I can feel the fingernails of her right hand on my back. Her left hand leaves my right so I can keep exploring. I slip my finger down her folds to dip inside her. Her legs widen of their own volition and I hear her moaning God's name. I hold back a giggle at the thought that I am fingering the pregnant president of the Celibacy Club.

Her fingers distract me as they grip at my back just as I'm easing my finger inside her. She's small, but I know I can fit a second finger, and so the next time I pull out, I ease a second finger back in as well. Her left hand grips the bars at the head of my bed, her head is arched back and I can feel her clawing at my back for release. In this moment, I feel extremely powerful. I'm in charge of how her body reacts and that's a heady feeling.

I slide my finger in and out of her at a slow pace, I like the feel of her insides trying to clench around my fingers, trying to trap them there. I know she's close and I want to give her that release so I pull my fingers out and travel back to her clit where I begin to massage it just as she showed me she liked. In a matter of seconds she's coming undone beneath me and she's so beautiful and I briefly wonder if the boys have ever made her look this beautiful.

Before we even have time to recover or process what's just transpired between us, I feel strong hands pulling me toward the bottom of the bed. The hands turn me over and pull me up into a sitting position. It's Finn and he's looking at me with so much heat and lust and I can almost feel him coursing through my veins. He grabs me roughly and we're kissing, our tongues and teeth clashing, but before it can go any further, he's pulled away from me by Puck.

"You know the deal. After what you guys did to me that first time with Quinn, it's only fair that I repay the favour. Get on the bed." Puck's talking to Finn as he holds him back by his arms. I can't help but think how lucky Quinn is to get to see this so often, but then I'm reminded that I'm in on this now too and all I can think about is how lucky I am.

A Nine Inch Nails song comes on, and I wonder if Puck is trying to tell me to fuck Finn like an animal. I shake my head slightly. I think I'm thinking too much. Quinn seems to have recovered and distracts me by standing in front of me pulling me up onto my feet. We share a soft kiss before she turns me around to face the bed where I find Puck lying naked beneath Finn who still has his jeans on. Puck's holding back Finn's arms and I'm wondering what they have in store for me. Suddenly I feel Quinn's hands sliding down my sides taking my pyjama shorts and panties with her.

I have a secret tattoo, but no one knows that but my Dad. And it looks like they're all too distracted by what's going to happen, to notice. Another time then?

Quinn breaks my through my thoughts and pushes me gently toward my bed, "You get to unwrap two presents tonight." She whispers in my ear as she motions to Finn's unbuttoned jeans. I notice the bulge and I'm suddenly a little concerned about the logistics of this. I climb up on the bed between his legs and I can feel all their eyes on me which makes me nervous. I'm so far in the deep end right now, I don't know if I could swim to save myself.

I reach up to the waistband and start to pull his jeans down his legs. He has to shift so I can get them past the bulge, but once we're passed that, they easily slide off. He's just left in his boxers now and I look up to meet Finn's eyes. I feel a sort of detachment with the whole thing, but one look at his face, and I'm in the moment. He reassures me we don't have to do anything, but I want him. I want all of him, and I don't care what kind of rules I have to play by.

I reach up and grip the elastic waistband of his boxers and pull them down as quickly and calmly as possibly. I don't know where his boxers end up, but the next thing I know, I have a condom being handed to me. I look at the object in my hand and realise its significance. I'm heartened by the fact they care enough about me to not want me pregnant too, but I've had that area covered for two years now. I look behind me at Quinn who is almost pressed right up against me. I hand her back the condom. "I don't need this, I'm on the pill."

I turn to look up at Finn to find out if this is ok with him. He looks like he's struggling with himself and I wonder if it's something I've done. "Jesus Rach, I need you." He grits out between clenched teeth.

I feel Quinn gently guiding my body to settle above Finn's, one leg on either side of his. Her front is pressed up against my back and our mixed sweat makes the scratch marks on my back sting a little. Her hands are on my hips and as she tilts me forward slightly, I brace myself against Finn and Puck. Finn and I watch each other as Quinn helps to guide him inside me. I can't help but break eye contact when I close my eyes at the feel of him at my entrance. "Oh God," I breathe out against his lips.

When I open my eyes, I can see Finn struggling against Puck's arms. Quinn continues to guide my body down on his and I feel myself stretching and aching in just the sweetest way. "So tight. Fuck." I hear Finn mutter as he throws his head back. I haven't got him in as far as he can go just yet, but it feels a little uncomfortable, and I'm not going to stop.

Quinn moulds her body to mine, her lips near my ear, "This is Finn's first time too." And before I can even process what she's said, she's pulled my hips down and he slides all the way in. I release a high-pitched squeak that I can be embarrassed about later, but for now, I'm trying to focus on the fact that I have Finn Hudson buried deep inside me and I never want him to leave. I feel Quinn stroking my hair back from my face whispering words of encouragement into my ear.

When I can remove my embedded fingernails from Finn's chest, it forces my hips to move slightly and suddenly this becomes a little more exciting. I begin to gently rock my hips against Finn's, trying to find a pace. I'm vaguely aware of Puck behind Finn, who is trying to help set the pace.

We finally find a rhythm and I can't help the squeal that escapes me again when I feel Quinn's fingers brush against my clit. I know from extensive research that I'm not likely to orgasm the first time. I'm pretty positive that Quinn is going to change that. Her left hand squeezes my left breast before stroking my nipple, and her right hand continues to rub against my clit and there are too many sensations to focus on and all I can think is that I just need to move that little bit faster, that little bit harder. I can hear Puck and Finn moaning beneath me and Quinn is panting against my ear. When she pinches my clit, I can't help the sudden onslaught of desire that races through my body. The bottom falls out of my world and my hips jerk and I can feel my muscles clenching tightly against Finn who is straining against the exquisite feeling. I throw my head back and my right hand grips onto Quinn's head, pulling her lips to my neck and I feel her bite it. My hips are still gently rocking as her left hand fondles my nipple, her right still rubbing my clit making my muscles jerk around Finn. When I'm spent I let go of Quinn and find enough energy to lean forward and kiss Finn. His right hand now free to roam comes up to tangle in my hair.

I shift slightly, letting Finn slip out of me. It's uncomfortable and messy, but I love him. And I realise, I could love them all. I rest my head on his chest after I feel Puck slip himself out from underneath us. Quinn's now beneath him and I turn my head in their direction, and watch at how tenderly Puck makes loves to Quinn. He's so careful and delicate with her, and it's this side of him that makes me realise why he's a part of the group. I can't help but reach over and interrupt, just so I can share a first kiss with him. Quinn doesn't seem to mind because I feel her fingers tracing my cheek as I get my first taste of Noah.

Now here I lay, hours later, sandwiched between my boyfriend and my girlfriend and my other boyfriend? I'm not sure of the labels; I'll have to clarify in the morning. I'm seriously hoping my Dad's don't have a hard time dealing with this, especially as they did invite them for a sleepover next Friday night. And I intend for them to stay the whole night.

I'm Rachel Berry and I have a really big secret.

But I'm not going to tell.

Fin