Departure Scars

Chapter: 1

"Sayonara"

Kaoru walked along a dirt road during a warm spring night. A soft breeze played with her dark, indigo hair, neatly tied up in a light green ribbon. Many thoughts plagued Kaoru's mind and worried her deeply. "Now what is Kenshin going to do in consequence to Lord Okubo's homicide? That man was one of the main government officials keeping the Meiji Era in tact! Will Kenshin stay or…leave?"

A firefly flew past Kaoru's face, blinking a soft hue of light at her. It was such peaceful and beautiful night. Pink Cherry Blossom petals glided threw the air making her wish that she could relax for while without any worry of Kenshin leaving, training students and working her trying to keep respect for her fathers sword technique. There was always something to worry about—Especially now. Would Kenshin really leave her and the others? She had never told him before, but she loved him… his kind nature, and his respect for them all. He was hansom and strong, but he didn't let it all go to his head. Kaoru pictured the first time he saved her. When he had carried her home after he had rescued her from a man trying to brandish her family's technique. Maybe she had fallen for him then…but still, when he said he would stay with her...she felt so overjoyed. After being alone for all that time with no family and her friends working all day she felt so lonely. If he left again what would she do? Just walk around alone and being called 'busu' whenever Yahiko decided to come over and eat or train. "What fun."

"Kenshin…onegai, don't go." Kaoru whispered as she looked up at the delicate petals of the Cherry Blossom Tree. She looked past the tree and listened to the babbling of a stream. Large groups of fireflies flickered around the sparkling water. She carefully stepped threw the tall grass to the bank. She used to come here all the time to think about things that were on her mind. Sometimes it just relaxed her when she was feeling depressed. She inhaled the fresh air, lightly scented with blossoms and flowers. She closed her eyes and imagined herself with Kenshin by her side. He called her Koiishi and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. He held her tight as they watched the fireflies dance around them and the stars twinkle above their heads…

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Kenshin's sandals scuffed lightly against the little bits of rocks on the road heading towards the dojo. He dreaded giving everyone the news. He tried to think of some way to tell them without being beaten to a pulp. He really didn't want to hurt any of them, but things in this world would be so much worse for women like Kaoru and boys that had very loud mouths like Yahiko if he let Shishio overthrow the government. It would be much too dangerous and he had to stop it from happening. "But I don't want them to hate me…especially Kaoru-dono…she's to innocent and beautiful. I hate seeing her cry. Someone that wonderful should never have to go through any pain. What should I say?!"

Kenshin sighed and looked at the Cherry Blossom trees when something caught his eye. He squinted his eyes and saw a woman with a ponytail and a yellow kimono. Fireflies flickered around her in circles like butterflies attracted to a lovely flower. "Kaoru-dono…" He turned and mutely crept towards her.

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The night was beginning to become cooler now. Kaoru took in another deep breath and let out a smooth sigh. She smiled slightly, her eyes still closed. Her mind was still far away from reality.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin hated disturb her when she looked so peaceful, but he had to say something. Kaoru stiffened up in shock and her eyes snapped open. She stood there for a moment, but then slowly turned around. He was a few feet away from her with a blank look on his face.

"Kenshin…" Kaoru exclaimed quietly. There was a long unconformable silence between them. He had lowered his head so his bangs covered his eyes but Kaoru held her gaze. She could feel disappointment start to pound in her heart. Her stomach sank. She began to fear the worst. "Please…please say you'll stay. I don't want to be alone again…onegai…" Kaoru felt an urge to be in his arms. To feel the warmth of his body against her. She wanted to hear him say, 'Aishiteru, koiishi'. If only they could be togeth—

"Mr. Okubo was murdered today." Kenshin finally began.

"Hai…I know. It was in the News Letter." She whispered. Kenshin was quiet again. She frowned and waited almost impatiently.

"It was one of Shishio's men…" He paused for a moment, "I really can't let him do this. If he destroys the government and rules this country everyone will suffer dearly. There will be no justice and many innocent people will die." Kenshin looked up into her eyes, watching her every move, memorizing every detail to her face. His eyes searched to the depths of her soul. He wanted to remember every last bit of her.

"I want you to know that I cherish everything you have ever done for me. From when we first met until now. I loved every bit of the time I stayed with all of you."

"So have I." Kaoru thought, feeling apprehensive. She could tell where he was going.

"Kaoru-dono, you and Yahiko and Sanosuke are those innocent people. I don't want to see the unthinkable happen to you...so, I'll be leaving for Kyoto." Kenshin finished quietly.

Kaoru inhaled sharply. Even if she had known this was coming, she didn't know how much it was hurt. Her chest clenched as she felt her heart shatter and fall in pieces at her feet. Her stomach knotted up. She felt sick.

"Y-you can't…" Kaoru choked. "Don't leave." Her throat tightened.

"Kaoru-dono…I can't let Shishio get away with this. If I stayed, this peaceful era could fall back to chaos and where woman like you are worth nothing and you're worth so much more than that. You shouldn't have to be treated that way. You'll be in great danger. I have to go and stop him." He insisted. Kaoru's lip quivered despite the slight blush on her face..

"So you're going to kill him? You just going to leave us and become a manslayer again after those ten long years of wandering?!"

"...I don't know." Kenshin replied ruefully, turning to the side. She glanced into his violet eyes. They looked full of guilt and his face looked tired and worn, not anything like the happy funny Kenshin, Kaoru knew so well. Her chin quivered.

"Well…it wouldn't matter anyways because even if you do become the battousai you still always come back to what you really are, like with Jin-eh and Saitoh. You'll always be someone we all care about; a wanderer that doesn't kill." Kaoru's throat became dry and sore. She could feel it. He wasn't going to give in. Unshed tears began to well up in her eyes. Kenshin turned towards her.

"Kaoru-dono…" He whispered and stepped closer. His arms lifted brushing against her soft hands. He pulled her into a tight embrace. Kaoru's eyes widened in shock. The coolness of the night vanished and was replaced by the warmth of his body. His hot breath caressed her neck and she felt the rise and fall of his chest against hers. She held her breath, feeling Kenshin's fiery hair caress her cheek. This was everything she had ever wanted but…"I'm so close, yet so far away." And it hurt like nothing else.

"All of this time you have treated me with kindness and generosity. You accepted me the way I was, even though I had murdered hundreds of people. I had nothing to give you but you still cared for me. You gave us all food and a place to sleep even though we couldn't pay you and I thank you so much for all of it. You told me I was a wanderer not battousai. Well then…" He paused, feeling her body tremble against his. "I must wander again Kaoru-dono…Farewell." Their embrace ended. Just as he let go he could see the shimmer of a tears slide down her cheek through corner of his eye. "Sayonara…" And so he began the long journey to Kyoto. A sob choked out of lungs and tears streamed down her face wetting her kimono. She could hear the shards of her heart sickeningly crunch under his feet as he walked away.

"Iie…" "No, Kenshin you can't leave! You can't leave!! Please, I need you! You keep my mind together. You keep me together!! Please don't throw everything away like this! I love you!" "Kenshin!!" Kaoru cried and ran after him, who was almost out of sight. Tears fled into the air as more rolled down her face. She was almost surprised at how fast she could run in her kimono, so she tried to run faster. But it was all in vain when the stream's grassy bank became cluttered with slick gravel and large rocks. The point of a stone caught the strap on her zori, flinging body harshly to the ground. Her head connected hard onto the rocky ground and her hands skidded along the gravel. Kaoru gritted her teeth and painstakingly rose to her feet. She ripped off her zori and ran on. Kenshin turned around just as she flung herself against him. She gripped the collar of his gi with both bleeding hands and shook him.

"Don't go!" Kaoru cried.

"Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin exclaimed. She just shook him harder.

"Don't you understand?! We all need you…I need you! So please…" She felt miserable.

"Demo…onegai…just remember that I'll be doing this for all of you. Japan needs this. Everyone will suffer! Please, just go back to the dojo and rest…it's been a long day." Kenshin pleaded gently. His eyes stared intensely into hers. He was about to break. All it would take was a little more.

Kaoru suddenly felt the burning sensation of guilt. "Why are you doing this to him? He has it hard enough already! You're being so selfish!" She began scolding herself. She let her hands slowly slip off his gi to her sides and she lowered her eyes away from his. Kenshin paused for a second and turned around again. The scuffing of his zori became faint as he walked away. "Go back and rest." He said through clenched teeth.

"…Sayonara." Kaoru whispered. Tears began to flow down her face again as her body shook with painful sobs. She fell to her knees as her tears dropped to the earth. She bent forward in an aching sadness, sobbing until she became so exhausted that she drifted into a deep sleep onto the cold earth.

Translations:

Koiishi- darling

Gi- Kenshin's shirt

Zori- Japanese sandles, like flip flops

Hai- yes

Demo- but, however

Onegai- please

Dono- Kenshin little polite thingy. Like, Miss Kaoru

Busu- ugly. Yahiko's nickname for Kaoru

Zori- those wooden Japanese sandles. Like, flip-flops

Iie-no

Author's notes- Well, this is going to be a sad ficcie I guess. This is my first attempt at a fic so please be nice. If you like it please R & R and I'll post some more if homework allows. ^_^x I hope you like it. Well, that's pretty much it okay? Ja Ne.

Disclaimer: Okay...why would I be writing my pathetic fanfics on this site if I owned Kenshin and could be making episodes out of this? You tell me.

(Re-edited.)