Authoress' Notes:
This one's like two months old, but I haven't wanted to post it. I'm still not sure it's too good, but I'm feeling good about life right now, so I'll post it. Oh, and special thanks to Pushka, whose favs and nice reviews on my Star Trek XI fics (Nero/Ayel! :D Go read?) helped motivate me to finally post this one.
Can't believe I wrote a Snarry fic. This couple has always creeped me out, but the day before I wrote this, my friend asked me what couples come to mind when I hear Fall Out Boy's "I Don't Care" (for the record, the list was at least 30 couples long), and Snarry was one that came up. At some point, a plot bunny came along, and I ended up writing this during English. (Not that I don't like English, but I need to do something or I get distracted. Yes: writing fanfiction helps me pay attention in class.)Anyways, I think this is my favorite way for this couple to go down. They're a lot easier for me to buy if it's onesided creeper!Sev, rather than Harry with a crush (or, God forbid, truelove!Sev/truelove!Harry).
Sorry, rambling. On to the fic!
Disclaimer: If I owned it, the gay would be way more obvious.
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Weakness
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Severus Snape was hardly a sentimental man. Even when his actions had little to no grounding in reason, very rarely were they grounded in (he sneered at the thought) sentiment. Still, he found himself more and more hard-pressed to explain his thoughts and attitude towards the great, pure, wonderful Boy-Out-Of-Whose-Arse-The-Sun-Shone.
It had begun simply enough. Harry Potter had arrived at Hogwarts and had been greeted with an instant storm of celebrity which he hardly deserved. Accordingly, Severus had treated him with the appropriate sneering disdain so suited to the messy-haired Potter boys. (Severus refused to ever think of James Potter as a man, as long as he lived.)
But over time, Severus had found himself somehow drawn towards the boy. They kept running into each other around the castle (occasionally, he could have sworn Potter was following him), and no matter how much Severus tried to resist, he constantly found himself protecting the boy. He was Lily Evans' son, so of course Severus had a duty to protect him. But the boy wasn't Lily.
He was James.
He had the same messy hair that stuck up at the back, the same stupid face (yes, Severus was mature, thank you very much), the same annoying luck, the same incomprehensible ability to charm authority figures... He could see nothing at all remarkable about the boy that suggested any of his success was more than luck, manipulation and help from better people than him. Yet, people loved him.
Yes, over all, Severus had always felt very comfortable with his reasons to hate Harry Potter.
Until the dream.
It was only one night after Sirius Black's infuriating escape when he had the dream, so Severus chose to pin it on stress, fury and memories of his own days as a student.
In the dream (Severus still got a little flushed, remembering it now), he had been walking slowly down the oddly long tunnel towards the Shrieking Shack when he'd heard an odd noise- almost like a moan. Turning, he'd seen a naked James Potter. With the strange logic that only makes sense in dreams, Severus had suddenly found himself unclothed as well
Events had moved along at a fairly fast clip after that (Severus chose not to dwell on the details), and soon Severus had found himself rocking frantically into a squirming and moaning James Potter...
...only it was now Harry Potter. The green eyes had stared up at him in longing, and the look in them had stayed in Severus' mind as he'd awakened with a start, panicked and hard.
He'd had a bit of trouble meeting Potter's eyes after that. He doubted the boy noticed, but Severus decided the next year to back off the slightest bit from tormenting Potter. He had soon convinced himself, though, that this unhealthy nighttime escapade must somehow be Potter's fault. That was best- blame Potter and he didn't have to analyze the actual content of the dream.
But that dream kept cropping up in the night.
At first, Severus had persevered in resisting the hardness that was always with him when he woke from that dream.
One night he was weak.
The next day, he couldn't meet Potter's eyes (the same color as Lily's- what would she say if she knew what he was dreaming about her boy?) at all. He flushed during the Potions lesson the next day (Severus Snape! Blushing!) when he glanced up to see the boy looking at him. Could he tell?
Severus was still having the dream the next year, and he felt it was getting a little out of hand (haha, very mature). When Albus approached him just after Christmas to ask him to give the boy Occlumency lessons, Severus blanched. He didn't want to spend more time alone with the boy! Well he did, but that was the problem! (After that first night of weakness, Severus' strength had never quite returned to him. He'd caved to the hardness more times than he'd care to admit even to himself, and it was getting harder (no pun intended) to separate the Potter of his dream from the Potter of reality.)
Especially since the dreams had changed. James Potter no longer made appearances in his dreams. No, now Severus' subconscious was jumping straight to fucking Harry Potter senseless. Spend time alone with the boy? Um, no.
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Severus sighed, wondering when Albus had gotten so persuasive. Bastard, he thought grumpily at the old man, miles away though he was. Stepping into the kitchen of number Four, Grimmauld Place, Severus narrowed his eyes as he saw Sirius Black waiting for him.
"Snivellus," Black growled, nodding curtly.
"Black," he returned sourly.
Waiting for the boy to come down the rickety stairs, Severus glared at Black. Wondering what could be taking Potter so long, he curled his lip up in a sneer as he listened to the steps (finally) coming down the staircase.
Five minutes later, Severus was serenely making his exit, having successfully informed Potter of his coming appointment and infuriated Black. And if his breathing had hitched slightly when Potter's hand had pushed up against his chest to stop him from killing Black, Severus simply chose to ignore it. And if, as he turned on the spot and rushed into the oppressing darkness, his heart was still beating a little more quickly than usual, he simply put it down to the rush of Apparition.
And if, after the final Occlumency lesson, when Severus had seen the terror spark in Potter's eyes (oh, that paralyzed look... Severus had immediately felt the blood rushing downward at that look), and had nearly managed to get in a punch (and oh, how sweet it would have tasted to watch the bruises rise to mar the boy's perfect, innocent face), Severus was weak for the first time without any coaxing from a dream whatsoever, well, he'd just keep that to himself.
As far as most people were concerned, Severus Snape absolutely hated Harry Potter.
The thing was, most people seemed to forget just how good hatred could feel.
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Wow. I just reread this one to prep it for posting, and I gotta say, I'm not sure I like it. I feel like it's made up of moments of brilliance, surrounded by a whole lot of suck- and not even the good, gay kind of suck! I dunno. I suppose it's okay, but not awesome? It's that time of the month, so I'm kind of changing my mind every few minutes on whether or not I like this fic. I do that a lot.
Well, I'm in philosophy right now (and no, it's not awesome; the woman's kind of annoying), but I'll hopefully post this after I get home. Please review!