My [Vampire] Boyfriend's Back: A Twilight Saga Song-Fic

Song: "My Boyfriend's Back" by the Angels

Summary: After New Moon. Edward has returned, and Bella has taken him back without a word. But Jacob's not ready to let her go. A little bit OOC.

Author's Note: So instead of working on Duty or TOWG like a good girl, I've been writing lots of little one-shots. And I apologize (I promise I'm writing, it's just not flowing like I want). So I started playing around with other stuff. And I thought of this song and thought it would be funny. And then, Bella and Edward and Jake got all serious on me, like what's up with that?!?. But, hopefully, you like :)

Author's Note: The characters do not belong to me, nor do the lyrics (the lyrics are the phrases in italics and bolded). Though I admit that I twisted a few of them to fit the story.

Jacob was furious. "Isbella Marie Swan, you're going to walk right back into his arms, when he left you?!? Do you not remember those months when you were basically curled in a fetal position, rocking back and forth?! Jesus, Bella."

"You know what, Jacob Black? You've got it all wrong. He went away and you hung around and bothered me every night."

Jake's mouth fell open. What the hell was Bella talking about?

Bella had reached the point where she didn't care what she was saying. Jake just had to keep pushing her buttons. Didn't he realize that Edward was back? And that he wanted her again. There was no way she was going to let up that chance again. Edward said he loved her. The hole in her body was gone.

She felt bad, because Jake had been so nice to her through the most depressing time of her life. She could understand why he was a little upset; he knew everything that had happened. But it wasn't like she was calling off their friendship. She was still Bella...plus Edward, which meant Happy Bella, Whole Bella. When she had happily told Jake that Edward was back to stay, she thought her best friend would be genuinely happy for her. After all, that's what best friends do. But he had called Edward all sorts of names and sworn at him and told her that Edward was no good for her. No good for her! Edward was too good for her.

And she snapped. She knew Jake had a crush on her, and her anger caused her to say the first things that were coming to her mind.

"You're just upset that I wouldn't go out with you, and now you said things that weren't very nice. But guess what--my boyfriend's back."

Jacob's face darkened as the verbal daggar buried itself in his heart. Is that the game she was going to play with him? He was her best friend--so, okay, not her boyfriend. Still, he'd thought he'd meant something to her. If she was going to start flinging words around, then, hell, so was he.

"Oh yeah, Bella? Is that how it is? Well, what happens when he leaves again? Who's gonna help you pick up the pieces? 'Cause right now, it ain't gonna be me. And you're gonna be in trouble."

The thought that Edward would leave again ripped open a hole that had healed since Edward's return. No! No! Don't do this to me, Jake! She realized she was hurting him, but he was hurting her back. She didn't want to deal with him anymore. "Look, he's picking me up in a few minutes. When you see him coming, better cut out on the double."

Jacob leaned close to her, his eyes glinting angrily. "What are you going to tell him about us, Bella? That while he was away, doing whatever blood-suckers do, you and I were having a great time, riding motorcycles and going to movies..."

Bella whirled angrily on him. "Oh, and now you're spreading lies that I was untrue to him? Is that what your game is, Jacob Black? You better look out now cause he's comin' after you. He doesn't like werewolves anymore than you like vampires. Don't forget he can read minds. You tell him one little thing and he'll know what you been trying, and he'll know that you been lying."

"He's been gone for such a long time, Bells," Jacob said softly. Their screaming match was going nowhere, and there was no way he could convince her to stay away from the leech if he kept insulting him. "How do you know that he'll stay? How do you know that he loves you? How do you know that he won't leave again, for good?"

Bella violently flinched at his words. It didn't matter that he wasn't yelling at her anymore, the words themselves tore at the healed scars on her heart. To reassure him (and herself), desperate not to return to her dark place, she said quietly, "Now he's back and things'll be fine. He promised he'll never leave and he never breaks a promise."

"Never?" asked Jake. Bella made the mistake of meeting his eyes. She had told him of the one promise Edward had broken on purpose: the promise to never leave her.

Angry at herself for telling Jake and angry at Edward for leaving in the first place and angry at Jake for reminding her--why can't he just be the supportive best friend?! Why, Jake? Why are you doing this to me?--she snapped back at him. "You're gonna be sorry you were ever born. In case you haven't noticed, he's kinda big and he's awful strong. "

Jake puffed himself up. He was taller than the vampire and he doubted Bella's personal Jesus was that much stronger than him. Is that what it was going to come down to? A fight between him and the bloodsucker for Bella? He'd do it, in a heartbeat. Couldn't say the same for the vampire--he didn't have a heartbeat. "Tell him to bring it."

"Jake! You are not going to fight him." Concern for her best friend overtook her anger at him.

"Who's going to stop us?"

"Me." Bella folded her arms over her chest, to glare up at him.

Jake looked down at the little girl he loved, trying to look ferocious and his heart swelled. He couldn't lose her to Cullen. He couldn't.

Gently he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Bella was taken by surprise, and didn't move for a moment. But realization kicked in three seconds later. This was Jake who was kissing her. What would Edward say?

She pulled away quickly and turned from her best friend. Why? Why did Jake make this so damn difficult? It wasn't like she was in love with him, or anything. She loved Jake, as a brother and a best friend. But she was desperately, irrevocably in love with Edward.

Jacob tentatively watched Bella. Her back was towards him. Maybe now, he thought, hoping, she would see...she belongs with me, not the damn bloodsucker. "Well?" he asked.

She turned towards him and he saw that she was pale, pale as the vampires. All the blood had drained from her face. Had he done that?

"Why, Jake? Why?"

"Why? Hell, Bella," he ran his hand through his hair, exasperated. "I'm in love with you, you knew that. And you know I would never hurt you, never make you cry, never make you feel inferior, never make you leave behind the life you know, and I would never ever leave you."

Bella flinched at the word "leave." Jake knew it was a low blow, but it was the truth.

"I love you, Jake. And you know that. But I love Edward..."

"More," Jake finished flatly. Bella sure had a mean sucker punch. Desperately, wildly, Jake swung back, anything to relieve what he knew would be a permanent bruise on his heart.

"What would your precious Edward say if he knew that you just kissed me?"

Bella's eyes widened. "Hey, he knows I wasn't cheating!"

"Oh yeah?" Jake moved closer towards her, Bella knew he was going to try to kiss her again. She wasn't afraid of Jake. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. He was dangerously close to her, anger in his eyes.

"Back off, Jacob! Now you're gonna get a beating!" she cried, as she tried to punch her werewolf best friend.

He laughed off her feeble punches, but backed away. He needed to clear his head. He knew that if he lost control near her, she could be terribly hurt. And that was the last thing he wanted. Her to be hurt, in any way. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

He'd made a promise to her...and damn, he'd hold them. He was better than goddamn Edward Cullen.

"Bella, he told you he'd never leave. And then he did. Even if you believe him, what made you think I'd believe all his lies? I can see straight through them."

"HE. DOES. NOT. LIE!!" Bella cried, throwing her hands over her ears.

"BELLA, LISTEN TO REASON!!" Jake shouted as he grabbed her hands.

"JACOB BLACK, GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!!!!" roared a third voice from the doorway.

A furious Edward Cullen was ready to spring, a growl rumbling deep in his throat. His eyes were black and livid.

This was the icing on the cake for Jacob Black. It was one thing to discuss the bloodsucker, but to be in the same room with his hated enemy who had captured the heart of the girl of his dreams was too much for any man to take.

Bella started to move slowly away, towards Edward, but Jacob would have none of that. He pulled her hands off her ears, but stood between her and the vampire. Where he knew he belonged. His own growl rumbled in his chest.

"Cullen," he nodded.

"Black." Edward didn't move.

The tension was so thick that you could have cut it with the proverbial knife. Bella didn't know what to do. She wanted to run to Edward and have him take her away. But to leave Jake behind, so distressed? It would weigh on her conscience heavily. Maybe, she could help. Timidly, she tried to step around Jacob, who reacted instinctively, by pushing her back.

Unforunately, he used more strength than he meant, because she flew backwards. She would have hit the wall, if it weren't for Edward's quick reflexes. He dove around Jacob and caught her.

"Bella, are you alright, love?" he asked anxiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Edward," she smiled at him, a warm smile that spoke volumes. Volumes that Jacob knew he would never get a chance to read or understand.

Satisfied for the moment that Bella wasn't hurt, Edward turned back to the werewolf boy.

"You almost hurt her!"

"She's fine," Jacob told him.

"Because I was here!"

"Well, good for you. You've saved her once."

"What?"

"What's going to happen to her the next time you leave? Is there going to be another vicious bloodsucker circling this town, after her, trying to get revenge on Bella? How are you going to save her the next time you rip her heart out and leave her circled up in a ball in the middle of the forest?" Jacob spat back.

Two emotions warred in Edward's eyes. One, Jacob recognized it because it was mirrored in his own eyes, was the strong desire to rip his head off and the other, the other Jake wasn't too sure of. It looked like agreement and remorse.

"You failed once, leech. What makes you think you'll succeed the rest of the time?"

Edward's jaw snapped and his eyes exploded in hatred.

"So righteous, aren't you, mutt? You think that you're a big man now but I'll cut you down to size."

"Yeah?" Jake challenged, "We'll wait and see, won't we?"

Bella stepped forward now, between the vampire and the werewolf. "Edward, Jacob, this must stop. Please. I love both of you. Jacob, you're my best friend. I can't live without you. You protected me so well, thank you. But now, my boyfriend's back. Edward was--is my life."

The pleading and pain in Bella's eyes cooled the tempers, momentarily. But the hatred was not so easily let go.

"Fine. Go on your stupid date," grumbled Jake, who couldn't resist one more jab. "It's a good thing too, he's gonna save my reputation."

"How is that, mongrel?"

"I've the best rep for keeping my temper, leech," smirked Jake.

"If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation away from Forks."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Just then the phone rang. Bella scurried to pick it up.

"Hello? Hi, Angela!"

Ever since Bella had "come back to life," Angela had been making an effort to keep Bella above water. And she had just heard some news that she wanted to make sure would not make Bella drown.

"Yeah," Bella smiled into the receiver, glancing at Edward, "My boyfriend's back."

Edward leaned towards Jacob while Bella was distracted.

"Look out now, Jacob Black. I appreciate what you did for Bella. But I am back. And I am here to stay, until Bella wants me gone. And I don't think that will be for a very long time," Edward's face was serious, but Jake was sure there was a smirk there.

And Jacob knew he was right. From the way Bella said "My boyfriend's back," Jake knew his chance with Bella were almost nil.

"Alright, bloodsucker. But Bella and me, we're friends. You can't keep her away from me."

"I won't try. She's happy when you're around. So as long as she's happy, I'll do what she wants."

Damn bloodsucker, making himself to seem so noble.

"But remember, dog, don't think about trying anything. 'Cause I can see you coming," Edward reminded him, tapping the side of his head.

"Right, whatever. See ya." Jacob couldn't stand the smell anymore. He needed to just to get away from the stupid vampire with the stupid mind reading ability.

He turned and looked at Bella who giggling happily on the phone. If only he could take her with him, wrap her in his arms, and carry her away...

"You better get a'running, mutt," warned Edward.

"Alright now!" And Jacob ran out the door and away from it all, letting himself melt into the wolf he was.

"Yeah...yeah...yeah...yeah...yeah," Bella said on the phone, "Thanks so much, Angela. I really appreciate you being my friend. I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up the phone and turned to Edward.

"Where's Jake?"

"He left."

Bella didn't ask because she saw in Edward's eyes that he didn't want to tell. She'd have to fix everything with Jacob later. Slowly, Edward wrapped his stone arms around her waist and pulled her fluidly into his arms. Bella melted against his stone body, her heartbeat skyrocketing as it always did when he touched her.

"Is everything alright, my love?"

No, not completely. But she couldn't tell Edward that she was afraid she was going to lose Jake. But she couldn't lose Edward, because Edward was more important than anything in world, more than the air she breathed.

"Mostly."

"Are you sure?"

He tilted her head so she was forced to look him in the eye. He could see the worry in her brown eyes, but she smiled for him. He diped his head to lightly brush his lips along her jawline until he reached her forehead. Then he gently placed a kiss on her lips, one she responded to by clutching him tighter, the blood pounding through her veins. When he released her, she smiled, a true Bella smile.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you more than I can ever tell you. More than I can even know."

"My boyfriend's back now," she smiled, a smile that reached her eyes, something that hadn't truly happened in a long time.

Jacob watched them as they left her house, hand in hand, as the leech helped her into his car. As they drove away, Jacob narrowed his eyes and aimed his thoughts at Edward, knowing he could hear him.

"Know I'm coming after you," snarled Jacob in his thoughts. "Because she knows that I've been true now...and always will be. Can you top that, Cullen?"

Silently, Jacob made his way back to the pack.

"What's up?" asked Quil, catching onto to the black mood of his best friend.

Jake sighed. "Her boyfriend's back."

So what do you think? Kinda silly, right? Review, anyway.