Chapter 28
Second Chance At Love
As soon as Edward returned from his phone call with his assistant from Tampa tools, he immediately went in search of Bella. He was desperate to take her out to lunch, and away from the office so they could talk about the events that happened over a week ago. He knew from there earlier conversation that it was not the time nor place to have that discussion. He had not wanted to push the conversation aside, and act like seeing Bella in his office was unimportant to him. When in fact all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and ravish her, but at the time the Call Project was something he couldn't ignore.
He had regretted it all most immediately, because there was nothing more he wanted to do than drag her out of his office building, get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. It had taken everything in him not to run up to her and take her in his arms the moment he opened his office door and saw her standing there. He'd been momentarily rendered speechless drinking in the sight of her. He was unable to look away from her beautiful brown eyes, and noticed how worn-down and tired she looked, from the dark circles under her eyes to her paler of her cheeks, that she had tried to conceal with makeup.
His heart turned over in his chest, as he felt his breathing accelerate, a spark of hope flaring in his heart and twisting his gut. Maybe she'd missed him as much as he'd missed her. He thought to himself.
He'd been so upset when she hadn't answered his phone calls. Almost every hour on the hour for the past week he'd been calling her begging her to let him explain, only to find disappointment and heartache when she didn't answer or call him back. So what did he do when he was able to finally regain his tongue? Why he'd rudely put Jessica down for not being able to handle things since Bella had been gone. Even when he realized how excited he was to see Bella standing in front of him just then, he'd found himself snapping at her, barely able to control his temper as they talked to one another. It was like he wanted to strangle her and kiss her senseless all at the same time.
He was still feeling the affects of the hurt and anger; he'd been forced to face for the past week, wallowing in self-pity and doubt of possibly not seeing her again. And in the back of his mind there was this small part of him that wanted her to hurt as much as he was for not letting him explain, for running away from him and jumping to the wrong conclusions as she always did, not wanting to sit down and talk about what actually transpired in his office a little over a week ago.
That's why he devised a plan, to try and get Bella back. Using the Call Project as an excuse. He hadn't expected her to answer her phone on Monday evening when he'd begged her to pick up once again. He was shocked when he heard her voice, a voice he'd been longing to hear for so long, and found himself momentarily rendered speechless, as she gave him a piece of her mind. When the shock of hearing her voice wore off and he was able to speak again he used the ploy of the Call project to talk to her. Asking her to sit in on the meeting scheduled for Tuesday afternoon.
Oh, he wasn't happy with the prospect of lying to Bella about needing her help, when in actuality the information he'd requested from her weeks earlier to be quite useful. It was his only way to justify his reasoning to come back to the office, and persuade her into talking to him about their current situation.
He was surprised when she conceded to help him, though on one condition that he never bothered her again. He knew that he had lied through his teeth, when he answered her with a clipped "fine." At the time he was desperate to see her, and if that is what it took than so be it. Now as he entered his office, it was to find that Bella was not there waiting for him, puzzled he quickly made his way into what used to be her office.
"Bella!" he called, coming to a quick stop when he realized that she was not inside. Where was she? He wondered, as he turned for the door that led into the hallway from her office. Maybe she's with Jessica? He thought as he walked toward Jessica's cubicle.
"Jessica, have you seen Miss. Swan?" he asked, when he approached her desk and realized that Bella was not with her.
Jessica looked up from her computer screen, "She just left Mr. Cullen, and she seemed upset." She said.
Edward felt a sharp stab of pain in his heart, "Left?" She left even after agreeing to go to lunch with him? He thought. "Did she leave an explanation as to why she left?" he asked. Hopefully she didn't decide to have lunch with the Call's, He thought with a hint of jealousy. "Did she leave with anyone?"
"No…sir, she was by herself," Jessica answered with a slight shake of her head.
Without another word he moved quickly toward the elevators, when he arrived on the ground floor and stepped out into the lobby, it was to see Bella racing out the front entrance, with Jacob Black at her side. A sharp stab of jealousy went through his body, as he stood there rooted to the spot in which he stood. Damn it! What was Jacob Black doing here and why was he with her? I thought Jessica said she was by herself? He asked himself irately. He started to walk forward again, but before he could walk out of the entrance Bella had haled a cab, got in, and watched it quickly disappear from his sight.
He let out an exasperated sigh, as he raked one of his hands angrily through his bronzed hair. He was to late. With a huff he realized that his well thought out plan had just backfired in his face. What was he going to do now? There was no way he was going to be able to just let her walk away again. He thought as he turned and dejectedly re-entered the elevator. He was going to have to go after her, hunt her down until he found her this time. After seeing her in his office today he knew he couldn't give up on them all together, though once he found her he was unsure as to how he might proceed.
Oh, before the predicament with Lauren Mallory happened, he'd finally drawn up enough courage to ask her to marry him. But now after all that has happened he wasn't too sure if that was the right thing to offer anymore. All that he knew was that he couldn't lose Bella, so at this point he would settle for any kind of relationship between them. With that last thought he pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number, only to be answered with her voice message.
"This is Bella, sorry I missed your call please leave a message?"
He drew in a heated breath and tried to control his voice, "Bella, this is Edward…I looked for you after I got back, and you were not there. We were supposed to go to lunch and talk. Please call me?" he said. Stepping out of the elevator and heading back toward his office. He closed his phone and placed it back into his trouser pocket. Damn it! He was really getting tired of her running away from him, and knew that it was going to have to take something drastic on his part to plead his case. Then a thought suddenly struck him, as he came to a halt beside Jessica's desk.
"Jessica, I'm going to need you to cancel the rest of my appointments for today, and the rest of the week. Something important came up, that is going to require all of my time and attention," he said, as he stood in front of her desk.
"All of them, Mr. Cullen?" Jessica asked surprised.
"Yes…All of them, I'll be leaving the office and I'm not sure when I'll be back," he said disappearing into his office to only reappear moments later with his suit jacket on and a determined glower on his handsome face. Before he headed back in the direction of the elevators. Yes he was going to have that talk with Bella if it was the last thing he did, and he didn't care how long it took to hunt her down this time…
"I'll take care of it…Good luck!" Jessica's voice rang out from behind him as he passed by her.
"Thanks, I'll need all I can get," he said, without looking back at her, before disappearing inside of the elevator.
………………………………………………………………………………...
It had been a long Wednesday morning and afternoon. Bella had interviewed for assistant positions for a number of different companies. She'd returned back to her home, and felt better than she had in the past three weeks. Though two of those weeks since she'd seen Edward, and returned home from Phoenix. Oh they had talked once in that time frame. It stemmed from a moment of weakness, when she answered one of his many phone calls. Edward never once apologized, just asked her for help with a problem that occurred with the Call's. The very Embry Call she had warned him about so many months prior to.
Luckily he called her after she got back from Phoenix, and had some time to think; was the only reason she agreed to help him. Though she made sure he knew she was still upset with him. At the office that very next afternoon she was on pins and needles, and was pretty sure that everyone could feel the tension in the room between them.
After the meeting was over, Edward had pulled her into the hallway accusing her of flirting with Embry and Richard Call in a small fit of jealousy. Bella had become angry, and slightly hurt that he was acting this way towards her. So naturally they had a few choice words. And then what does Edward do? Why he tries to kiss her. For just a moment she had lost control of her senses, and wanted him to kiss her, that was until Jessica had interrupted them.
Embarrassed beyond belief, at being caught in the hallway in a compromising situation with Edward. Looking up into his smug face she had become angered, and realized for the hundredth time that she'd almost given in to Edward's seduction. Especially when he tried to use it by tricking her to go to lunch with him. That's when she panicked, and her mother's reasoning words
"Bella let him explain his side of the story to you. Whether your ready to forgive him or not"
Had flown right out of the window, and at that moment in time standing there in the hallway she did not want to go to lunch with Edward; nor for that matter with Richard Call. Like the coward that she was, she left with out an explanation. As far as she was concerned, the bastard should consider himself lucky she even wanted to help him, let alone be in the same room with him.
On her way out she ran into Jacob in the lobby, and he had stopped her, asking if she was all right. He then escorted her out of the building and to a waiting taxi. Jacob wanted to come over to her house, but she had not felt like having any company. So she had left him standing on the curb staring after her with a worried look on his handsome face. She never noticed Edward standing in the entrance of the office building also watching her flee.
Bella walked to her bedroom and changed into an old pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She was disappointed to see that there were no messages left on her answering machine, and sighed. It was a hard process trying to find a job in today's economy, and she was grateful that Edward took the hint and stopped calling her. Once she got changed, she padded barefoot into the kitchen and began to look around for something to cook. Though living alone she didn't often cook for herself, but she was hungry after all.
She glanced at the clock, and saw it was almost four in the afternoon. It was to late to phone Alice, and apologize for not showing up for lunch this afternoon. Given the circumstances, when it came to her brother she hoped she'd understand. She'd have to phone her first thing tomorrow, before heading out to another interview.
The knock on her door startled her. She wondered who could be knocking on her door at this time of day? Then crossed the room to answer. Opening the door she was completely thunderstruck to see Edward Cullen standing on her porch.
"We need to talk," he said, pushing his way into the living room. "And your not going to run away from me this time." he walked over to the sofa and slung his jacket over the back of it, sitting on one end.
Bella closed the door and leaned against it. Thinking it was just like Edward to act as if he owned the place. She felt irritation form, for the intrusion.
"Thanks for the advance warning," she grumbled, and closed the door. Then crossed the room and gingerly sat down on a chair.
"What warning?" Edward asked with an eyebrow raised.
"If I had known you were coming, I'd have not answered the door." She wanted him to understand that his presence in her home was unwelcome. Though once again her mother's words invaded her thoughts,
"Bella let him explain his side of the story to you. Whether your ready to forgive him or not"
He sat there just staring at her and damn it, it was so unfair. He looked terrific. A bit leaner than she remembered, he looked tired with dark circles under his eyes, as if he were having trouble sleeping. But he still had that same intensity that shone in his eyes, as they stared at her. Then there it was the unwanted fluttering stirring in her heart. Letting her know she was still not immune to his presence.
"I thought we were supposed to get together over lunch and… and talk about what happened?" he said. Referring to Tuesday afternoon.
She shrugged her shoulders, "I decided that I wasn't ready to talk to you just yet."
"So you decided to flee, with out an explanation I might add…to have lunch with Jacob instead?" he asked harshly.
"I was supposed to meet up with your sister, Alice. Jacob and I did not meet for lunch. Why would you even think that?"
"I saw you leave with Jacob, and I just assumed-"
"What? How did you know about that?" she asked. "Jacob and I are just friends. Besides that is none of your business."
Edward rose and paced over to her fireplace, "I'm making it my business." he took a deep steadying breath, and turned to look at her. "We need to talk about this, Bella. We have put it off far to long…and after we have our talk, I'll be making a lot of things my business…that is if things work out and go the way I want them to."
Bella gave him a bewildered look; he was not making any sense to her.
"What are you talking about?"
Edward ran a hand through his disheveled bronzed locks, "I don't know what has come over me in the past year that I have known you. I never was one to act out of character as I have when in your presence." he began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. "Especially when we were at La Push. I swear there was something in the water, casting a spell over both of us. But despite everything that has happened," he stopped in his pacing to stare at her, "I still want you."
Bella new it was wrong, but she felt her heart kick into high gear. She stared at him, her thoughts tumbling. "You want me?" she asked with disbelief. She had thought she would never see him again after that awful day she walked in on him in his office with Lauren Mallory; they were both in a compromising situation. He had made it abundantly clear whom he wanted that day, and that woman was not she. But here he was in her home acting as if he wanted her.
"Yes, I want you, want to see you, hold you, I want to make endless love to you everyday."
She just stared at him, not knowing what to say or do. It was the last thing she expected to hear coming from him. "I don't believe you," she whispered, as she felt a small jolt of anger posses her. How dare he say that to her after he was with Lauren not even two weeks ago? He knew that she wanted a committed relationship with him, not an affair.
"Why don't you believe me?" he asked his voice thick with emotion, a hurt look in his eyes.
Bella rose and stepped around the chair she had been sitting in. Putting a much-needed space between them, "I can't believe you just asked me that!" she spat. "Before I even came to interview for a position as your Executive Assistant, your reputation preceded you. A man who didn't just hire women to work for him but expected them to date and sleep with him as well."
He stared at her for a long moment. "So what your saying is that you let the rumors and those stupid tabloids influence your opinion of me? Is that why you got that damn fool notion that I hired you, just to sleep with you? So I could fire you?"
She nodded. "I was desperate for the job, especially after Mr. Newton retired. I was willing to take that chance knowing what I was getting myself into. Believe me I tried to fight my attraction to you, and your advances."
"I know you did."
She kept silent for a moment, "What do you mean?"
"I know you tried to fight off my advances. It is what intrigued me about you in the first place. I…I wasn't used to a woman not taking interest in me, and turning me down at every opportunity." he smiled at the memory, and even blushed with embarrassment. "It became a challenge, and you know how I love those."
"Well do you blame me? I figured if I turned you down flat, tried to stay away from you, I wouldn't lose my job. Which I might add I was good at," Bella muttered. "Then on top of everything, you had a parade of women coming in and out of your office all the time. Not to mention the ones like Lauren, Rosalie, and Tonya, you kept flaunting in front of me. Even after we made love," she said that last part with a little more force.
He nodded once. "I and the rest of the staff have missed your no problem response to everything. Jessica especially." He paused for a few moments, "And you have every right to be mad at me. But I didn't want them, Bella. Not like I wanted…still want you," he corrected himself.
"No! You may not have wanted them, but that didn't stop you from sleeping with them now did it?" she asked bitterly.
"Your right I did. I slept with a lot of them. But again, Bella that was before you came into my life." he took a step closer toward her. "You were all I could think about, all I could see. No other woman held a candle to you. After our time in La Push you were the only woman I cared about. Why can't you see that?'
She laughed bitterly; "Yeah, you cared about me all right, enough to keep up your ongoing affair with Lauren," she spat out.
Edward sighed and bowed his head to look down at the carpet, "That was not what happened the day you came into my office." he said softly.
"Oh my God! So your saying I'm blind and stupid?" she cried in anger. "Don't stand there and tell me I didn't see Lauren half undressed, and straddling you on your desk chair. Your lips on hers, your arms wrapped around her, and your hair meshed. Your shirt half unbuttoned and pulled out of your trousers."
"You were so ripe for it," he bellowed at her in anger.
She gasped, "What do you mean by that?"
"You saw what you wanted to see. You have done nothing, but compare me to your ex fiancé' from day one. I told you along time ago I was not like him. That I would never hurt you like he hurt you, and I meant every word." he said with a hint of desperation in his voice.
"You bastard I know what I saw!" she screamed at him, her body now shaking with rage. "What did you expect my reaction to be?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, angry at first, but unable to let me go. Convinced I was the best thing in your life. To give me a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions, before running away from me, " he said stiffly. "But I can see that doesn't matter now. No matter what I say your not going to believe me," he ran his hands through his hair once again.
Bella looked away from him, for just a moment she wished they were back in La Push, with the two of them at the cliffs looking out over the beautiful landscape. A place where they were on the same wavelength, a place where they could be completely in love. With out a worry between them, but that thought only lasted for a moment.
When Edward saw the softening of her features and her eyes take on that dreamy look, he pressed. "You know, even after everything that has happened between us," he said slowly, his eyes hot with desire. "I don't think I can let you go that easily."
"What are you saying? Do you want to give me my job back?" Hope flared inside her at that moment. Even though she was the one to walk away from her job, and Edward in a fit of rage. She still regretted leaving, and could fill a slight smile form on her lips.
He shook his head. "No! I can find another executive assistant. There were one or two others I interviewed that were on my possible to hire list."
Her heart sank as her smile fell from her face. If he didn't want to give her back her job, where was this conversation going then? She asked herself.
He stood in front of her, his arms held out toward her in open invitation.
"Please, come here, Bella?" he implored her, with that damned sexy, pout of his.
She gave him a suspicious look, then slowly came around the chair and walked over to him. Knowing full well that she should not be doing this. That she should be standing her ground; fighting against the hold he had over her. But instead she found herself tilting her head back to look into his emerald green eyes, and wondered at the intensity of emotions displayed.
"I want you, Bella," he said again. "And I suspect you want me, just as much. Am I wrong?"
Bella licked her suddenly dry lips. She was mesmerized, unable for the life of her to look away from his eyes. He slowly lifted his hand to brush her cheek, to sweep back her hair, tangling his fingers in the silky brown strands. Her heart was hammering in her chest and ears. She watched helplessly as he slowly lowered his head to kiss her, wantonly waited for the touch of his mouth against hers. A wave of heat spread through out her body, and she began to tremble. A low moan escaped from her as his mouth took possession of hers, and she threw her arms around his neck, her hands fisting in his hair. He in return pulled her tightly against his hard muscular chest and deepened the kiss.
This kiss was better than any they had shared before, she wasn't sure if it was because she thought she would never be with him again. Or underneath all the hurt and anger, she knew she was still in love with him? So much so she felt that her heart would explode.
He was the one to end the kiss, and pulled away to look down at her. "I knew you still cared, still wanted Me.," he whispered into her ear.
"What?" she asked, her heart racing, every nerve in her body tingling in reaction to his kiss. She was wrapped in a warm glow of love and desire and having a bit of trouble concentrating. She wished he'd kiss her again.
"Its settled, you and I will continue to see each other," he said.
She suddenly came out of her desire-induced haze, and disengaged herself, when the realization of his words dawned on her. "What do you mean by continue to see each other?"
He smiled a predatory smile at her, "I think that kiss spoke volumes. Don't you?"
"What exactly did it say?" she asked growing weary.
He laughed, "Why that you want me as much as I want you."
"Edward, people want a lot of things, I want a lot of things. But this does not mean anything is settled between us." she stated. "I would just like my job back if at all possible?"
He shook his head, "I'm sorry but I can't give you your job back. I don't mix business with relationships."
She gasped her mouth hung open in an O shape. "What are you saying? Its not like you haven't had relationships with other women working for you."
He pulled her back into his arms. "You see that's where you're wrong, love. I had an affair with those other women, not a relationship. You'd be my first one for that," he said softly in her ear. "That's why I can't give you back your job. I plan to see you as much as possible."
"So we see each other…when?" she asked, wondering where she was on his priority list?
"Whenever we want." he answered.
"Well, what if I'm not satisfied with that? What if I want more?" she said having the courage to ask.
Immediately his expression changed, and a hard gleam formed in his eyes.
"I told you along time ago I wasn't looking to get married."
"Why not? Am I not the right one?" she asked him. She was certain he was Mr. Right, but it didn't appear that Edward knew he was the one. Then again maybe she wasn't Mrs. Right for him. That thought just about killed her.
"Things people say and think can change over time," she said slowly.
"And some things, never change," he returned.
She laughed without humor, "You know for a business man who likes a challenge and to take risks, your scared when it comes to personal relationships."
He grunted angrily, "Bella I'm not asking for an opinion of my life. Why do you want to complicate it with personal attachments, and forevers? So far it hasn't gotten us anywhere."
"Why indeed?" she said under her breath, amazed at how calm she was acting. What she really wanted to do was rant and rave at him. To demand he loves her as much as she loved him. But she knew it wouldn't change anything. Marriage was not going to happen with him. He was right he had made that perfectly clear to her from the very first time they had dinner at his apartment. So now her only hope left was to save what little pride she had left.
"Damn it, Bella. Do you understand what I am asking you?"
"Perfectly," she said walking over to the sofa and picked up his jacket, his scent drifted up to tease her. She breathed it in; she was going to miss him so much. Turning she held his jacket out to him.
"What are you doing, Bella?"
"You need to go, Edward. Thank you for hiring me when I needed a job. I wish things could have worked out, I really liked working for your company, and with you."
"Bella, I'm not leaving," he stated in an angry tone. "Not until we have settled what's between us once and for all."
"Yes you are, I told you I didn't want a fling or a causal affair. Its better to part now then let myself become heartbroken and eaten up with jealousy and regrets, once it ends." she paused, and got to the point. "Lets part now while were still friends."
Edward strode angrily across the room, and took his jacket from her trembling fingers. "I never saw you and I as being just friends." he bit out between clenched teeth.
"That's what you don't seem to understand, Edward. I could have been so much more than just your friend." she said her voice catching.
"This is not over, Bella. We can still spend time together," his tone sounded almost desperate.
She shook her head, "I'm sorry."
"So this is goodbye then?" he said in a pained voice. "You're just going to give up?"
Bella nodded her head, "Goodbye, Edward. I wish you nothing but the best, and happiness with whomever." she held her head high, hoping the tears wouldn't fall until after he left. Her throat ached. It took everything in her not to fall apart sobbing. She opened the door wider, and tried to smile. She could feel her lips trembling.
"Bella…please?" he pleaded. He reached out a hand to touch her, but she moved away, and felt his heart breaking. Knowing that he just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
She refused to meet his eyes, as she stood there and opened the door wider.
"Please just leave, Edward," she whispered softly, her voice breaking.
He walked out the door with a sigh, and stood on her porch. Gently Bella closed her door behind him. The tears she had held in began to spill over, tracing down her cheeks. She turned around to lean her back against the hard surface of her door. The pain that gripped her heart and body was so intense she thought she'd scream from it.
Her heart was breaking; she could feel it ripping into a tiny million pieces. Why did she have to fall in love with Edward Cullen? She had known he didn't want a real relationship; he'd been perfectly upfront about it. But she couldn't resist him; she wanted to be with him. She loved him, and wanted to share her life with him. But she refused to settle for less than a full out committed relationship with him. She had, had no control over which her heart decided to fall in love with. It was up to her to let him go and just move on.
Bella didn't know how long she stood there lost in her thoughts, but at one point reality pushed through her heartbreak and pain. She straightened up, and scrubbed at her eyes to wipe away tears that had fallen. She made her way to the bathroom, and to the sink. Where she turned
the water on and splashed her face. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw her swollen, red, puffy eyes staring back at her.
"Well mother are you happy now? I let him tell his side and look where it just got me," she said bitterly to her reflection.
She reached for a hand towel hanging on a hook and dried her face. Once satisfied she laid the towel down and with a sigh, left the bathroom and moved toward her bedroom. Suddenly she felt very tired, like all her energy had been physically and emotionally drained from her body, and all she wanted to do was lie down.
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"Oh, oh," Jessica muttered as she caught sight of Edward's grim face Wednesday evening, as he returned from Bella's home. Looks like his talk with Bella didn't go that well.
"Good evening, Mr. Cullen," she said brightly.
Edward glared at her with wild eyes, "If you want to call it that," he muttered under his breath. He stopped to stand in front of her desk.
"Hmm," said Jessica. "I must have overestimated your powers of, err, shall we say persuasion."
"I don't understand her." He shook his head, his expression blank. "I tried to explain to her, about what she saw in my office that fatal day. But she didn't want to listen," he gave her a rueful smile. "I guess I just made a bigger ass of myself."
"What did you do, Mr. Cullen?" Jessica asked him.
"I was to much of a coward to tell her that I'm in love with her. Instead like the selfish bastard I am. I offered her an affair with me," disgust for himself plainly in his voice.
Jessica rose up out of her chair, her hands fisted at her sides, "You did what?" she asked shocked.
"Asked her to pretty much be my mistress," he answered his head bent down in shame, "Then I told her I didn't want to be married. Which I might add is far from the truth. I even bought a ring, I was thinking of proposing…that is until the fiasco with Lauren happened. Now after what I said to her today at her home she probably wouldn't accept… even if I did ask," he said sullenly.
"But-but why did you do that?" Jessica asked aghast.
"Because the woman makes me crazy, because I was upset she was rejecting me, hurting me. So I wanted to make her hurt just as much as I was. I lost my temper and said some things that I never meant to say."
Jessica stood there with disbelief on her face, "You know I thought that at one time you and Bella deserved each other. But now I am beginning to think maybe it should not be. How could you say that you only wanted an affair with the only woman you are madly in love with?" she asked exasperated.
"I don't know," Edward, answered her softly. Right at that moment he was feeling like an utter, selfish, fool. How in the world would he be able to win Bella back?
"Well you better know, Mr. Cullen."
He shook his head, "No I don't know, I thought I did, but now-" he trailed off and just stood there in a defeatist attitude. He had never felt so helpless in his life, and found he didn't like the feeling one bit.
"Well you only have yourself to blame, if you lose her. Go back, and pound on her door. Until she opens it back up, then you tell her what you originally went there earlier to tell her. And don't you leave until you get her answer. I can't believe the great Edward Cullen is giving up. What is wrong with you?"
"Bella Swan," Edward murmured. His hand lowered to his trouser pocket where the diamond ring rested in his pocket. "Do you think she might actually…you know?"
"You'll never find out if you don't get over there and apologize to her for being such an unfeeling jerk, and explain to her what your true feelings are." Jessica said.
Edward gave her a halfhearted smile, "I need to think…I'll be in my office," he said and turned on his heel and walked away toward his office. Yes, I need to go back, and try again to get her to listen to me. I'm not ready to give up just yet. Maybe then I could ask her…he thought to himself.
Jessica stood there looking after him, a frown on her beautiful face. The two of them were driving her nuts. She had never tried so hard to get two people together before in her life. I swear if they didn't make amends then she was going to drag them both together, and force them to talk to eachother. They were the most stubborn people she had ever met. But then again they say, "When you're in love people do and say the most stupid of things."
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It was some time later that a knock on her door startled her out of a deep sleep. Bella sighed, and turned her head to look at her alarm clock, it was two in the morning. Who on earth would be knocking on her door at this early hour? She wondered. Angela? Ben? Jacob? Maybe she shouldn't answer it at all, being that she wasn't fit for company at the moment.
The knock sounded again, this time louder, and more persistent.
"All right, hold on a minute," she mumbled, as she groggily got out of bed, and headed toward her living room turning on lights as she went, and almost tripping over her own feet. Bella reached for the handle and turned it. Opening the door she was startled to see Edward. His head was bent down, his tie loosened, and his shoulders were slumped.
"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave?" she asked him in a sleepy voice.
He looked up at her with a determined expression on his handsome face, and with out asking for permission he slowly pushed past her and back into the living room. Before he reached around her and closed the door.
"Have you been standing on my porch this whole time? I thought you left hours ago?" why was he still here? She thought. Not realizing tears started running down her cheeks again at the sight of him.
"No," he breathed out in a strangled whisper. "I went back to the office after I left here," he hesitated. "I couldn't stay away," then he brushed his fingertips along the top of her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Bella, please don't cry? I never meant to make you cry," he said softly.
She stepped back and away from him as quickly as she could, "I-I'm okay" she didn't want him to see how much his touch effected her. But before she could escape his touch completely his hand circled the nape of her neck, feeling warm and sensuous. His emerald green eyes gazed into hers.
"I suppose that I'm happy one of us is okay, because I'm not," he said huskily.
She just gave him a very confused look. And tried to wipe at her own eyes. She was wide awake now.
"Bella, love, you were right all along."
"Right about what?" she asked. Wondering if she had heard him right.
"God! About us, you were right I don't just want a casual affair," he took a deep breath, his eyes boring into her own. "I not only want a best friend, I want a lover that I can worship in and out of the bedroom. I want someone who is loyal, and will never stray in our relationship. I want someone I can love and be loved by. I want you, Bella. Please give me a chance to prove to you that I was wrong?"
"Are-are you serious?" she asked aghast. What just happened to the man not even a few hours ago was swearing vehemently that he did not want to be in a committed relationship? She thought.
"Yes I am. I just know that these last three weeks have been hell without you in my life. I had some problems arise, which you know about concerning the Call's company. While dealing with that particular obstacle, my thoughts were distractedly on you the whole time. All I could think was that I lost you, that I was a fucking idiot to let this happen, that I had to win you back. I knew I needed to find you and explain to you what actually happened in my office that day."
"This is crazy, Edward."
"I agree craziness had a lot to do with the way I handled myself around you. How I acted like a jerk five hours ago here in your home," he paused and took another breath, "Bella, you were one of the best assistants I ever had, and I was happy with you. But there was all ways the attraction I felt for you getting in the way. And believe it or not I tried to fight it as well. That's why I kept a lot of the women around…to help distract me from my thoughts and feelings I had for you. But two months prior to us making love when you dropped off those documents to me in La Push, I had already decided to swear off women."
She stood there and blinked. She didn't believe what she was hearing. Had his reappearance back into her home, and his touch short-circuited her brain somehow?
"And what about the women you date? What about…Lauren?" she spat out the last word in disgust.
He winched, and gave her a halfhearted smile, "I am sorry for what I must have put you through. I didn't want to hurt you. It was a mistake to keep Lauren in my life, especially after I realized I felt something more than just simple attraction for you. But I was stubborn, and didn't realize at the time what I was actually feeling. Lauren had been in my life for two years, and I admit for the first year we were intimate, though the affair didn't last long after that. By the time you started working for me I just kept Lauren around as a friend. She would accompany me on trips to keep me from becoming bored, or lonely." he tried to explain.
"But if you didn't want Lauren then why did you act like you enjoyed her company, kept her in your life even after…after we made love?" she asked, her voice cracking.
"Bella, love, that's just it. After we made love, and we had that fight at the ball, when you ran away from me. I was devastated and asked Alice to help me, to talk to you. But when she came out of the bathroom and had that look on her face, I just new that something was wrong. Then she demanded that I talk to her, explain what my feelings were for you. That's when she told me what you thought of my so-called playboy lifestyle. Letting me know that you thought I wasn't in love with you, that I was just using you for sex, and as a distraction until Lauren came back into the picture." he paused taking a deep breath, and giving her a guilty look. "I can tell you that I felt sick to my stomach. My heart was breaking at that precise moment because I thought I might have lost you. Alice told me to get my act together, to tell you that I loved you, and rid myself of Lauren and all the other women in my life. But what she didn't know was I had stopped seeing other women shortly after you started working for me."
"But, I saw you. You were all ways with some beautiful woman or another. You implied on numerous occasions that you were sleeping with them…sleeping with Lauren-"
"No, Bella. That's only what I wanted you to think. I wanted to make you jealous, just like I was when I saw you with Jacob Black, and that Sam fellow. Like I said I didn't understand what I was feeling for you at that time, and I acted like the asshole you accused me of being." he said quickly cutting her off.
"So is that what you were trying to do in your office that Monday morning.
The day I walked in on you and Lauren having sex?" she asked bitterly.
"God, no!" he cried, and shook his head. "Lauren showed up unannounced, I had no idea what she was even doing at my office. You see I hadn't talked to her in a month; I was trying to tell Lauren that I didn't want her in my life, that I was never in love with her, but she wouldn't take the hint. You see Lauren refused to see that I didn't want her, that I wasn't in love with her, and I can tell you she didn't take it well at all. She screamed at me saying,
"That she would make me want her, that I was in love with her.""That's when she started taking off her clothes and attacked me. She tried to seduce me into changing my mind. When you walked in on us, I was moving to push her away from me, and get her to calm down. She was not seeing reason at the time." he paused to give her an embarrassed look. "I never meant for you to see that, Bella. If I could take back what happened that day I would. You ran out of my office before I could say or do anything. I pushed Lauren off of me, none to gently and pursued you, but it was to late you had all ready fled. I even went as far as to go to your home to try and explain what you saw. But you were not there, and not answering your cell phone or your home phone."
"I didn't did I?" she asked softly. Remembering how angry she'd been that day. "I actually turned my cell phone off."
"No, you didn't. Where did you go, Bella?" he asked her gently.
"I had to get away from you; you hurt me so bad. I booked a flight, and stayed at my mother's place in Phoenix for a week."
"Oh! Bella. You have to believe me when I say that I don't want any other woman…I just want you." he groaned, as his arms tightened around her. "The question now is…will you please forgive me?" he asked her softly.
Bella just stood there and thought about what he was saying to her. "Edward, I-I, you've made it so hard for me to…" she trailed off.
"Please, Bella…because there is only one other thing I need to ask you," he said then paused, he took a deep breath, and looked deeply into her eyes, "Will you marry me?" he asked, softly, with a hint of nervousness in his voice, as he looked down at her. "That is if you'll have me?"
"Marry you?" Bella's breath whooshed out. All she could do was stare at him. "Marry you?"He continued to look deeply into her eyes. "Please say yes?'
"What happened to the man who just said hours ago that he didn't want to get married? The man who only had room in his life for an affair and nothing more?" She asked, as her heart pounded so hard she could hardly hear over the rushing of blood through her veins. She drew in a ragged breath, her eyes never breaking contact with his.
Amusement shone in his eyes. For the first time she could define the emotion shining in his eyes and she realized with a start it was love for her.
"Bella I am such an idiot, and a coward. You know I am new to this relationship stuff, and I was scared of your rejection. Also because of my parents many divorce's; I wasn't a big fan on the whole marriage thing. It was after we made love at your home, the night Laurent dropped you a visit, when the idea of marriage really popped into my head. I went round and round for weeks after that trying to figure out what I wanted to offer you. All I knew is I didn't want to lose you, I was so afraid of rejection, that I convinced myself to ask you to have an affair with me. That was better than nothing. I should have known better, known that you would never settle for second best when you could have it all," he paused, and lightly placed his hand on her cheek. "Please forgive me? I take back all I said before."
He was serious! She could see the sincerity, and vulnerability shining in his eyes when he asked her if she'd have him. Slowly she realized this was not her imagination. He truly was uncertain of her response. Standing there staring up at him there was suddenly no more doubt she loved this man. She threw her arms around his neck.
"Yes, I'll have you. I am in love with you, Edward Cullen!" she cried, as she finally admitted her feelings for him.
His arms tightened even more around her, "You want me? You love me?"
"Lord knows I didn't want to fall in love with you. But I couldn't help it, you're so damn potent."
He kissed her. Molding her body to his, she could feel the ragged beat of his heart pounding against her. His lips moved convincingly, his tongue dancing with hers, bringing them both to new heights of sensation, and happiness. It was hard to tell where one left off and the other began, because they had their arms so tightly wrapped around each other.
It was some time before he pulled back enough to gaze into her eyes. Slowly she opened hers and gazed into his.
"Edward, please tell me you love me, too?" she asked softly.
"I do, never doubt that… I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. I love you more than life itself. For the past three weeks I felt like a piece of my heart was missing, that half of me was gone. I never want to feel that kind of emptiness again"
She gazed at him with all the love shining in her eyes. "So, what changed your mind about marriage?" she asked, snuggling closer, delighting in the feeling of intimacy that wrapped them together.
"At first I was furious when you threw me out of your house, I stormed to my car and angrily slammed the door. It was after I got back to my office, after talking with Jessica, I was just sitting there in my office and staring at nothing… that's when what you said about not being afraid of a challenge, and taking risks, struck me. I couldn't believe it! For the first time I was running away from a challenge. That I was unwilling to fight for what I wanted. I literally pictured my life in a whole new light. I saw myself alone, no one waiting for me at home. There was no one to share my success with, to be myself with. It was an empty existence, and realized I wanted a partner, and eventually children, a son to partner the family business with. I realized I wanted what my brother Emmett, and sisters had, that special someone in there life." he smiled, "So I asked myself how I would feel never seeing you again after today? That's when everything came into perspective. I'd already had three weeks without you. I didn't want another much less a lifetime. That's when it dawned on me at that moment you were that special someone for me, that I did want to marry you. Bella, you are the perfect woman for me. You took to your job with flying colors- we were able to discuss ideas and strategy, and you had as many good ideas as I had. Not to mention you were not afraid to put me in my place. Those early morning planning sessions became the highlight of my day, I just didn't understand why at the time."
"So are you saying I knocked you off your feet, since the first day, Mr. Cullen?" she teased seductively.
Edward laughed, "You could say that, Miss Swan. Especially after we made love for the first time. That was when I realized I was in love with you. But at the time I was to scared of your rejection to tell you. I'm just glad I came to my senses when I did. I don't know if I would have been able to go on living if I would have lost you," he mumbled.
"I'm glad to. I love you Edward. I've known since the party we attended at Angela's parents."
He looked into her eyes, seeing the warmth and love shining in them. "I love you too, Bella. I was such a fool."
"You weren't the only one who was a fool, I thought and did some stupid, and crazy things too," she whispered.
"I guess are parents were right, when people are in love they do some crazy stuff," He hesitated, looking down at her, with love shining in his emerald green eyes. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out the diamond ring, and held it up in front of her. "So you never gave me an answer. Will you marry me?"
Bella stared at the single solitaire diamond ring, sparkling in the lighting from the lamps, with awe. She could feel the prickling of tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, as an overwhelming happiness over took her.
"Yes. I'll marry you. You silly man," she cried, and reached up to kiss him long and deeply. "I guess this means friends and partners forever?" she said, once she regained her breath back.
"Forever," he affirmed, as he placed the diamond ring on her ring finger he raised her hand and kissed her finger on which the ring lay. With a huge grin on his handsome face he wrapped his arms around her and nestled her closer against him, not wanting to move. He savored the moment, the knowledge that this woman, this wonderful woman, was his-to hold and cherish, and share happiness with. He may be a selfish bastard at times, but right now he was a lucky one to be given a second chance with Bella.
THE END
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A/N: Well there it is the end of the story. I hope you all loved and enjoyed this as much as I loved writing it. I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, and added me to your favorites lists. I enjoyed reading all your reviews and was pleased to see that you all had very good and interesting reactions to my story that I wanted you to have. Thanks to all of the readers that nicely pointed out my spelling and grammar mistakes. I am still looking for a BETA, so it's just me trying to fix up my mistakes. Hopefully in feature stories I write I get the same reaction, and understanding. Thanks again!
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