Madara Wants to do WHAT to the Moon?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Note: Recent Manga Spoilers.

"Naruto," Gaara's voice rang out.

Naruto, who had been attempting to meditate, quickly turned towards his friend. "Gaara," he greeted, "it's been awhile."

"Indeed," the young Kazekage said solemnly. "Where is Kakashi? I heard he was with you."

"Oh, he is," Naruto replied. "He and the others are off getting food."

"The others?" Gaara questioned.

"Yeah, Yamato, Sakura, Kiba, Sai, and Lee," Naruto listed off.

The place on Gaara's forehead that would have held his eyebrows if he had had any rose. "They all came with you to see the Raikage so soon after Konoha's destruction."

Naruto scowled. "No, that was just Kakashi and Yamato. The rest of my so-called friends have decided that if the Raikage's succeeds in killing Sasuke we will be forced to seek vengeance so we have to kill him to prevent a war."

Gaara blinked. "Come again?"

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, I don't really get it either. Sai seemed to think it was urgent that Sakura told me that she realized I loved her and that it was okay to stop trying to bring Sasuke back for her sake."

"And you're not doing it for your own sake as well?" Gaara asked quizzically.

"No, I am," Naruto assured him. "I don't see why they couldn't have waited until I got back or why they thought I'd be okay with their plan…especially seeing as how they think I'm the only one who can do it…"

"I saw Sasuke, you know," Gaara told him. "At the summit."

"Really?" Naruto's head shot up. "How-how was he?"

"Angry," Gaara said bluntly. "He wanted to kill Danzo and didn't care if he had to go through all of us to get there. I stopped him and the Raikage from killing each other."

"Thank you," Naruto said quietly. "I need to face him, I know, and…thank you."

Gaara nodded. "Of course, right when the Mizukage had him beat, Uchiha Madara showed up."

"Oh, we showed up to bother you, too?" Naruto asked. "Busy guy."

"Too?" Gaara repeated. "What did he tell you?"

"He explained that Sasuke was all bitter and hate-filled because he just found out that Danzo and the Council ordered his family massacred. Apparently he found out very shortly after regaining consciousness after killing his brother," Naruto explained. "Who knew?"

"No wonder he wanted to kill Danzo," Gaara remarked. "That brings me to what I needed to tell Kakashi, though: we're forming a shinobi alliance among the five great nations and since Danzo ran away at the first sign of trouble and used his stolen Sharingan to manipulate us all, we refuse to acknowledge him as Hokage."

"He can manipulate people with the Sharingan?" Naruto asked, shocked. "Wait, he HAS a Sharingan? What is it with everyone who doesn't clearly have two regular eyes having a Sharingan?"

"I don't know," Gaara replied. "One of the Mizukage's guards had a Byakugan."

"Ah, same difference," Naruto said dismissively.

"I don't know," Gaara disagreed. "The Byakugan's powers are fairly well documented by now whereas the Sharingan seems to gain new powers as the situation calls for."

"Well, you know, not many people have had the Mangekyou, that might explain it," Naruto shrugged. "And the whole manipulation thing might actually explain how in the world he got elected Hokage despite the fact that he had weeks after Old Man Hokage died before we tracked down baa-chan and she agreed because she lost a bet to convince them he was the right man for the job, and he failed horribly. Although that begs the question of why he didn't just manipulate his way into the position in the weeks the job was open…"

"…Tsunade became Hokage because she lost a bet?" Gaara asked incredulously. "Then again, as the granddaughter and grandniece of the first two Hokages, I suppose she would have some understanding of the paperwork involved…"

"Paperwork?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Don't worry about it," Gaara said quickly. After everything the blonde had been through on his quest to become Hokage, Gaara would be damned if he was the one who put a stop to it by revealing the horrors of bureaucracy.

"Alright," Naruto said, letting it go for now. "So what did Madara tell you guys?"

"That man," Gaara shook his head. "He couldn't given me a run for my money at my most psychotic, he really could. He told us what his Moon's Eye Plan was."

"Nothing that involves using the moon for world domination could possibly be considered sane," Naruto declared.

"Too true," Gaara agreed. "Apparently the moon was once the Jubi. The founder of the shinobi world, the Sage of Six Paths, became the world's first Jinchuriki by sealing the Jubi inside of himself and then, to prevent its escape upon his death, when he was dying he split the demon into the nine Bijuu we're familiar with."

"So…the moon is the dead body of a demon?" Naruto said. "But…but Iruka-sensei told me it was a giant rock!"

"Maybe the body was sealed in the form of a giant rock, I don't know," Gaara replied. "Madara plans to combine the nine Bijuu into the Jubi again and seal it within himself, become a Jinchuriki."

"I didn't know it was possible to become a Jinchuriki once your chakra coils were fully formed," Naruto confessed. "Wasn't that why it always happens to babies?"

"Apparently the rules are different when dealing with the Jubi or if you're powerful enough. Although if Madara is truly as weak as he claims he is, I don't see how he imagines he has the power to tame the Jubi and seal it within him," Gaara mused.

"Say he does succeed in becoming a Jinchuriki," Naruto said. He paused. "I can't believe I just said that. Who in their right minds would WANT to become a Jinchuriki? The chakra boost is nice, I'll admit, but dealing with a bloodthirsty demon all the time and risking transforming whenever you're upset or use the demon chakra-"

"Or fall asleep," Gaara interjected.

"Right," Naruto nodded. "Or that, really makes it a lot more trouble than it's worth."

"I think that's the point," Gaara said. "Madara ISN'T in his right mind. Wait until you hear what he has in mind after he becomes a Jinchuriki."

"What?" Naruto asked. "World domination isn't enough for him?"

"Oh no, it is," Gaara agreed. "But he wants to do this by putting the entire planet under a permanent genjutsu. He says this will lead to peace."

"…You're joking," Naruto said finally. "PLEASE tell me you're joking."

"I would if I could," Gaara told him.

"I can't even begin to count the ways that makes no sense!" Naruto burst out.

"Try," Gaara said dryly.

"First of all, what makes him think that even if he puts everyone under a genjutsu forever that it will lead to peace? People are kind of violent and, sooner or later, will start killing each other in his little illusion. And what will happen to the human race if people are under a genjutsu and can't reproduce? Or eat for that matter? And if the genjutsu allows people to physically do what they imagine themselves to be doing, then what's the point of putting them under a genjutsu in the first place? For that matter, what's the point in putting them under a genjutsu in the first place? And what makes Madara even think he CAN live forever to put people under a permanent genjutsu? If the Sage of Six Paths, who was apparently the most amazing person to have ever lived and people are so in awe of him they often refuse to believe he even existed, couldn't live forever with the Jubi chakra, what makes he think he will?" Naruto ranted.

"Perhaps Madara already has the whole immortality thing down," Gaara suggested. "He should have died long ago."

"Ah, he can't be older than 120," Naruto disagreed. "I mean, that's still really, really old but that's hardly the same as forever."

"His genjutsu might have mind-control properties that prevent people from straying from peace," Gaara pointed out.

"That's horrible," Naruto decided.

Gaara shrugged. "He's crazy."

"True," Naruto sighed. "Why is it that the most violent people you'd ever hope to meet are always the ones who are secretly out for peace? Itachi, Nagato, now Madara…I'm beginning to think striving for peace is kind of counterproductive."

"If you'll notice, none of them were quite stable," Gaara replied. "Your mentor Jiraiya and the Third Hokage were also out for peace and they were reasonably sane."

Naruto snorted. "Reasonably. I suspect Madara either hasn't thought this little plan of his through all the way or else he's lying his ass off."

"Well, he's ridiculously crazy, so either one's a strong possibility," Gaara told him.

"What happened after Madara revealed his 'Master Plan'?" Naruto inquired.

"He sucked Sasuke and some healer girl who was with him into an alternate dimension in his eye," Gaara recounted. At Naruto's disbelieving look he smiled slightly, "Yes, it was kind of strange. Then he demanded we hand over you and the other Jinchuriki. We said no, obviously, as no one wanted to be under the long-lasting genjutsu of a madman and so he declared war on us and left."

"He…declared war on you?" Naruto repeated. "How? He's not in charge of any village or country, is he?"

"No, I think he meant he would use the power of the Bijuu already collected and what's left of Akatsuki against us," Gaara clarified.

"Aside from Madara, Akatsuki has two members! Six, if you count Sasuke's team!" Naruto protested. "At most, that's seven people and seven demons against…literally everyone else."

"Right," Gaara confirmed.

"That's not a war; that's a terrorist group," Naruto declared.

"If we should live through it, we'll have to make sure the history books note the distinction," Gaara deadpanned.

"What am I supposed to do? As one of the last two Jinchuriki and apparent cause of this terrorist action, you guys can't just ignore me," Naruto pointed out.

"And we're not. We can't put you on the front lines, though, it's too risky. If we lose you, we lose everything," Gaara responded.

"So…basically all I have to do to save the world is stay alive?" Naruto asked rhetorically. He made a face. "That sounds…kind of lame, actually."

"Given how reckless you are, it should be quite a challenge indeed," Gaara noted.

"Point," Naruto acknowledged. "We're all doomed, aren't we?"

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