This is all because of a joke between myself and a friend. Started out with discussing Jolt's electric engine. And suddenly he became a tree nerd.

And yes. This is Jolt/Sideswipe. Sort of. If you turn your head and squint. The pairing needs more love.

The windswept island of Diego Garcia wasn't the place one expected to see vast amounts of forestry. In fact, aside from odd clumps of shrubs and bent trees, there wasn't much vegetation aside from the gnarled grasses. It was a flat, rocky sort of island, not the lush, tropical place one would expect from an island on this particular latitude.

There was, however, one patch of greenery defying nature to the best of its abilities. It was situated just outside the perimeter fence marking the odd army base planted squarely in the center of the island, just off of the beach. Unlike the rest of the landscape, the trees here actually grew. A smattering of stunted shrubs poked their way out of ground carefully cleared of rock and debris. The soil layer here—according to a neon expert on the subject of soil, among other things—was thin, but it existed. And that seemed to be all these particular trees needed. A casual observer would find nothing odd about this, and have dismissed the patch as nothing more than one of the island's oddities.

At least until they saw a flash of electric blue, and heard the low pulse of a mechanical language directed solely at the vegetation. It may have taken said observer a moment to realize what it was they saw, but in the end, any of Diego Garcia's sentient inhabitants would have realized what exactly it was they were witnessing.

There was an Autobot tending the trees.

The Autobot in question was moving with exaggerated care, picking his way through the shrubs with a gentleness that seemed at odds with his size and slightly stocky frame. Every so often, impossibly slender fingers would reach out, and tease a bit of dead leaf or twig from the taller trees. A hose, stretching all the way back to the guardhouse near the fence, was in his other hand, dribbling water where it was needed. And all the while, he kept up the same stream of quiet, mechanical words. The housing of his optical sensors was folded, creased into what had to be a pleased expression, though he lacked the facial structure to express it completely.

He was at ease, obviously enjoying his little gardening excursion. It was quiet here, peaceful. Nothing was shooting at him. No one was demanding his attention for what was loosely called "training", be it for brawling or healing. This was a little corner of the world where no one would ever think to—

"You're lucky this isn't the oddest thing either of us have been caught at," came a droll voice, somewhere near the perimeter fence.

—bother him.

Great.

Instead of answering, he merely turned around, aiming the hose toward the intrusion. A precise application of a fingertip sent the spray arching high, and splattering against silver armor. There was a yelp, and a rev of a high performance engine. Wheels spun on tarmac, as the invader skated backward out of reach.

"That was uncalled for," Sideswipe growled, his armor twitching to dislodge the droplets clinging to him.

"You startled me," Jolt answered, deadpan. He still held the hose, warningly, daring the other Autobot to come any closer. "What are you doing out here?"

Slender shoulders rose and fell. In the flash of sunlight, the scrapes of green and red paint across his arms was plain to see. "I was bored," he answered, far too casual. "Just taking a drive."

"Uh huh..." Jolt quirked an optic ridge. "What did you do to get put on Twin detail this time?"

For a moment, it didn't look as if Sideswipe was going to answer. He folded his arms, rocking on his wheels. "It isn't my fault if Optimus doesn't like my suggestions for the next liaison we must endure," he grumbled. Veteran warrior or no, Sideswipe was still counted amongst the youngest Autobots—and he could sulk with the best of them. "What are you doing out here?"

Jolt just shook his head, turning away before his smirk was visible. It was easy to figure out just what kind of suggestion he'd given Prime. In all honesty, he probably would have agreed with Sideswipe. He shifted, crouching slightly to strip a small weed up from the ground. This was the kind, he'd noticed, that turned into a vine, choking the other plants. "Just... nothing," he said, keeping his gaze riveted on the greenery. "It's nothing."

"You're digging around in the dirt. It's not nothing."

"I'm not digging in the dirt!" Jolt snapped, turning to glare. "I'm—I'm..."

And he shuttered his optics, wincing.

"... Gardening."

Dead silence for a beat. He waited, expecting the laugh. A joke. Or even his friend to wheel away in disgust. Autobots were warriors. They didn't do inane little things like play with earth's plants. Sideswipe was a warrior. And Jolt was never going to hear the end of this.

"Gardening."

Here it came. He braced himself, going still as if he were preparing for a fight. Faint sparks danced on his fingertips.

"Well." A light, rich chuckle. "I suppose that explains the vehicle mode."

He blinked, and stared openly at Sideswipe. The other was smiling faintly, arms still folded—looking, of all things, indulgent, and not, as Jolt had predicted, derisive. "Huh?" he sputtered. More eloquent words wouldn't come.

Sideswipe shook his head, the smile flickering for a moment. "I don't see what all the fuss is about," he said. The barest extension of a leg send him rolling forward, gliding to a stop barely a yard away. He nodded toward the patch of trees. "And I'm bored. Explain."

That was really all the encouragement Jolt needed. He practically perked up, unashamedly reaching out to grasp Sideswipe's arm, and tow him closer to his little green patch. In all honesty, he paid no attention to how his companion was responding to the sudden botany lecture. He was just too pleased to actually have an audience for his odd little hobby. And one who didn't seem inclined to dismiss it as nonsense—at least for now.

For his part, Sideswipe showed extraordinary patience. If he rolled his optics—which he likely did—he had the decency to wait until Jolt wasn't looking. He allowed himself to be tugged from tree to tree, putting up with it while wearing the same indulgent little smirk he'd started out with.

And if Jolt noticed how often Sideswipe's optics strayed to him as opposed to the trees he was talking about, he chose not to remark on it. Instead, he went on and on, pointing out the differences between the various trees and shrubs, how much water they seemed to need as opposed to others, what their names were—

"You know," Sideswipe cut in, abruptly. "When I said they should name something after me... I was thinking something a little less..." Big hands grasped uselessly at the air, looking for the right words to describe the sad example of tree-dom currently displayed before him. "Vegetable."

"I named him Sideswipe because he's a stubborn jerk," Jolt responded, his tone lofty. He was frowning—sort of—although whether it was from being interrupted, or from Sideswipe's comment, it was impossible to tell.

A pause. "Him?" said "stubborn jerk" asked, skeptically. He gave the scraggly little tree a glance, obviously unimpressed with his leafy namesake. "You gave it a pronoun too?"

Jolt just shrugged, the extensions on his back fluttering. It seemed as if his period of grace was over—the jokes would start now. Moving away, he picked up the hose once again, purposefully ignoring the lurker behind him. Unfortunately, the effect was ruined as a sleek silver helm came into view, peering over his shoulder with no regard for personal space. Metal contacted metal, and a small tingle of sensation ran through the blue Autobot's frame. He shivered.

Apparently oblivious to the effect his presence was having, Sideswipe jabbed a finger in the direction of another virulent species of weed invading Diego Garcia's soil.

"That one should be 'Jolt' then," he said. "It looks like a science geek, to me."

One roll of his shoulders put space between them again, sending Sideswipe rolling backwards, chuckling to himself. Jolt was silent a moment, grumbling to himself in words perhaps best left on the battlefield. Then he turned, and gestured again to the plants. He kept his expression carefully schooled, the amusement hidden as best he could.

"This little shrub is 'Sideways'," he declared, long fingers gently brushing a rather droopy-looking bush.

The soft creak of gears announced Sideswipe's presence, crouched at his side. "Why did you name one Sideways?" he asked, prodding at it with a blade. A few leaves fell off, accidentally sliced by the careless move, and Sideswipe scrambled to collect them again. Left with a pile of greenery in hand, he awkwardly piled them back atop the bush, as if doing so would fix the damage.

Jolt shuttered his optics, squaring his shoulders, and put on his best impression of Ratchet in his Lecture Mode. "Because the Sideswipe tree grew right up in the middle of it, and almost killed it," he said.

And it had. Straight through the center was the little tree, growing tall despite the spare assortment of leaves clinging to its branches, likely from its most unlikely guardian. Sideswipe's gaze flicked from tree to shrub and back again. He was quiet so long that Jolt wondered if maybe his teasing had backfired. The blue Autobot fidgeted, almost apologized. He shifted a little nearer, hesitantly. The other didn't appear to notice, just continued staring at the tree with an unreadable expression.

"Not bad," Sideswipe said, finally, and tapped the slender trunk with a fingertip. There was a smirk on his faceplates, and his optics flicked briefly at Jolt. "Well done, Tree Me."

A blue-plated arm reached out and gave him an affectionate shove. As a reward, of sorts, for patience. The gesture was returned in kind, and for a while, the botany lesson was forgone in favor of another, more mutually enjoyable one.