You guys can blame this one on the cola and frosted flakes I was eating when I wrote it. It's sort of a tribute to all those who have done a "Harry goes back in time' but instead of making things perfect, decides "Screw this! I'm gonna have some fun!" Kickass/take name and no prisoners/Harry

Rewind!

Ch.1

xxxxxxxx

He watched the small orb flutter around in the palm of his hand, jolting erratically and letting out a violent buzz. As amusing at it seemed, the one holding the orb was far from entertained. Dressed in what looked to be an Armani suit that was half bleached..as in one side stark white, the other jet black. Even his hair, (parted straight down the middle) shared the color scheme. The desk he sat at had a unusual symmetry to it; two lamps, two pads of paper, even two fully loaded pen holders. both halves were a perfect mirror image of each other. "Those twits really did it this time."

The orb, which had been buzzing for quite a while now, finally began to lose steam, the buzzing replaced by a few angry flashes before it came to a halt. The bright red glow it had during all this was replaced with a dismal grey.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Oddly enough, each strand fell right back into its exact place. Even though this wasn't exactly part of his job description, it was the end result of interference by a fair number of individuals.

His name was Order; tasked with keeping a certain level of balance in the world. And the orb in his hand happened to be a soul.

The soul of one Harry James Potter to be exact. By now you're probably wondering what happened; well, dying right before you're about to lose your virginity isn't exactly something to be proud of. Shortly after the final defeat of Tom Riddle, A.K.A He-Who-Has-Too-Many-Damn-Hyphens-In-His-Name, Harry learned that Luna Lovegood had been carrying a torch for him for a fair bit of school. The duo went out a few times before deciding to consummate the relationship. Unfortunately, what he didn't know was that Albus Dumbledore, in a rather misguided and pretentious attempt to ensure Harry stayed 'in the Light', had performed a bonding ritual shortly into his third year between him and the daughter of his two most loyal followers; Ginny Weasley.

As it turns out, bonding rituals, especially the more illegal ones that don't require the consent of both participants, can be a real pain in the ass; as Harry found out when the bond designated him as breaking it for shagging another girl. Since the ritual used was rather subtle and Ginny was the party present for it, she only one aware of it. Dumbledore had instructed her to tell him they were to be wed after Voldemort's defeat. However, in her excitement and general fangirl-ness, it slipped her mind and Harry paid the price: keeled over at Nineteen before he even got to hear Luna's first moan.

That brings us back to where the story begins. Order had gotten wind that one of his siblings, Destiny, had picked Harry to be the one to deal with Voldemort. (Why she did that instead of getting the old geezer to do it, he wondered is he'd ever find out). She had caused Trelawney to utter the prophecy and Dumbledore ran with it. The little ninny had even brought Fate in to the mess to ensure he was the one to face Riddle. Combined with competing with an old man that thought a bit too highly of himself, and it boiled down to a micromanaging fiasco that screwed up several lives and forced Chronos to rework multiple future generations.

If it was one thing Order couldn't tolerate, it was meddling. Even his brother, Chaos, considered it unacceptable. It was one thing to provide aid and make suggestions; but outright deciding peoples lives without their knowledge or permission was seriously uncalled for. It was because of that that he was listening to the currently deceased 'Boy-Who-Lived', and he was, for lack of a better term, royally pissed when he learned why and how he died.

The orb did a half-hearted jolt and flicker before coming to a complete stop in his hand. "I know. This was not how Chronos figured your life turning out. He intended you to pass on after seeing your fourth great-grandchild.

He recieved another buzz, "Not if I have anything to say about it. Those two KNOW better than to interfere with the mortal world like that. "

A couple of slight bounces followed by a blink, "There is one way, but it was deemed only usable when there's proof of a severe fubar."

"You're talkin' 'bout a Rewind, aren't ya?" A somewhat nasal voice piped up nearby. It belonged to a man in an armni suit as well, except half the right leg was gone and the left arm was absent. What was left was a blinding mix of purple, orange, green and brown. His hair was the same; a buzzcut on one side, a spiky blue and indigo striped Half-Afro on the other. "What's to prove? Fate and Destiny had no business messin' with the kid. They even tried to overturn some of Lady Luck's choices for him, and even I wouldn't piss Luck off."

Order glanced over as his brother, "That's the thing, Chaos. Even if Chronos agrees, those two'll be right back at it."

"Then I say we cheat." Chaos stated, a rather evil grin on his face, "They've already played dirty: allowing people to die unnecessarily, manipulating his emotions. The Boss is pretty annoyed with their antics too. So it's only fair we do the same. We'll just be leveling the field. We gear him up and make sure he has more than a fighting chance"

Order's eyebrows almost levetated off his forehead, "Why the hell didn't I think of that?" A grin matching Chaos' slowly made its way onto his face before he looked at Harry's soul, "Looks like you're getting your second chance after all."

"Yeah, and no more Mr. Nice Wizard!" Chaos cackled, watching the orb start glowing a brighter hue. "Ok, Bro. You think up what to give him, I'll go talk to Time-Boy and see if he'll go along with it."

xxxxxxxx

Cliche's, cliche's, lovely cliche's!

Yes, this will be badassHarry, also loud, rude, smartassed, and a bit of a pervert. There will generous bashings and plenty of general sillyness. It will be Harry/Luna, but if anyone can provide a good reason, I may add one other.

xxxxxxxx

Yes, the other storys are still being worked on. (getting the beginning of a chapter just how I like it seems to take forever sometimes)