My challenge entry for PHM- Challenge #6- I actually listened to the song- I had never heard it before it was pretty good!

I want to thank Kendra for posting the challenge and effectively breaking me out of my writing funk. This one is for you!

DISCLAIMER: Let's keep this simple- I do not own.

"It's too late to pretend; you know me better than I know myself." – Shelf

Sunday 2:47 pm

Ok Maybe it was time to admit it- he sometimes purposefully fell hard and fast just for a song.

Subconsciously he built up the girl in his mind to something she couldn't possibly be- so eventually she would fail. That or he would be so obsessive that at first, she would find it flattering- then quickly move into creepy. Then she would dump him.

Not that he stalked his girlfriends or anything. Okay admittedly with Erin he crossed that line just a little- but he had a feeling that she was cheating on him- and he only staked out her house one time.

The first couple songs always were love songs- songs about happiness then finally after he hit the rock bottom or crashed into a wall there would be the sad songs, moving into the I'm over it songs- and then to the overall rock the world/I'm awesome no matter what you say songs.

Three Weeks earlier- Tuesday 11:54 am

Nick sighed and strummed a chord on his guitar- he was in the middle of a dry spell. There was nothing more irritating to him- and he lived with Joe and Kevin. He looked up from his spot in the cafeteria- he sat alone at the moment. The shine of Jezebel's auburn hair caught his eye, she saw him and smiled. Her friends eyes darting to him and smirking when spotting him. Nick waved lightly. He turned back to his guitar hiding the half smile.

"Hey Nick"

"Hey Macy" He smiled up at the girl as his brothers came up behind her.

"Any luck bro?"

Nick shook his head at his brothers as they sat down.

"Hey no stress- no deadlines" Kevin placated. That was true- except they did need an albums worth of songs within the next 5 months- and he was currently just under the half mark.

"Yeah" Nick's eyes wandered to Jezebel's table again.

Last Thursday 4:59 pm

Here he was 5 songs later three of which were brilliance- the happy love songs. He felt the sad songs coming on. It was clear that Jezebel was only interesting in one thing- her 15 minutes of fame. He knew this- but he also knew that some Grammy wining songs were on their way. They had to be.

"Nick is it all really worth it?" Macy had plopped herself next to him on the couch. Stella had come to routinely go through the clothes in the Stellavator- she had brought Macy to help- because apparently there was some crisis involving shoes and ties.

"What?" Nick asked around the pen in his mouth.

"Purposefully falling for someone completely wrong for you- just to write a few songs?"

"uhh…"

Macy eyed him.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well we all know and even you admit that some of your best songs come during a relationship- any phase of it- whether it's the beginning honeymoon phase or the splitting up part."

"uhhh"

"Actually your best songs come from the end of a relationship. You know this"

Nick sighed and took the pen from in between his lips- twirling it with the skill of a drummer.

"I thought Jezebel and I would really work out"

Macy couldn't stop herself from letting out a laughing snort.

"Really? The girl who spends more time on her hair than reading? The girl who actually walks around with gossip magazines at school- particularly ones involving the members of JONAS? The girl who won't help someone pick up their books because it would wrinkle her shirt? You're telling me that you thought that you and one of the shallowest girls at Horace Mantis would work out?" She paused to let him answer, then continued when he offered nothing but a slightly stunned expression, "Joe Kevin and Stella knew she was horrible for you- and they've known you longer than anyone."

Nick swallowed visibly. When she said it like that…

"Nick you are the most perceptive person I've met. You have to be to write all those songs. It's surprising that you can't see your own masochism."

Or when she said it like that…

"Nick when will the vicious cycle stop?" She cried, her hands reaching to the ceiling.

He finally spoke "When I win a Grammy"

Macy shook her head "Okay- have you ever thought of this? Maybe if you actually find a girl that's good enough for you – one that's right for you, maybe the songs you write about that relationship will be Grammy winning."

Nick's mouth was unable to close and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Maaacccy!" sounded Stella from upstairs

Macy patted his knee "I'll leave you to mull over that." She jumped from the couch and darted up the stairs

He had never considered that.

Sunday 3:16 pm

Nick looked over the songs he had written during the Jezebel fiasco, as he has come to call it. The songs looked great when he first wrote them. Now looking at them it was like seeing his "relationship" for what it was- and his songs sort of sucked because of it.

Nick groaned- to make these decent would take a lot of work. The question is- would it even be worth it? He clutched at his hair.

"Song trouble?" Nick glanced up; Frankie's face was a strange combination of smugness and understanding.

"Yeah… Frankie what do you think of the songs I just wrote?"

Frankie didn't hesitate in his response "They're a little shallow" Oh this was bad- even Frankie saw that they weren't up to par. Maybe he could write a song about how writing songs is hard.

"Jank"

"Yeah that too."

"Thanks Frankie"

"I'm here for you bro." Frankie offered as he slid out of the room.

15 minutes later Nick still didn't know what to do with the awful songs. His masochism was useless- he went through the torture of dating Jezebel for nothing. He laid his head on the desk, and slammed his fist down.

"Everything okay Nick?" His head popped up- Kevin and Joe stood with concerned looks on their faces

"You seem a little frustrated" Joe spoke. What an understatement.

"These songs suck!" Nick growled as he grabbed at the sheets of paper crumpling them in his hands.

They said nothing. It was official the songs were terrible.

Kevin struggled to find words "It's just that they are a bit one-dimensional"

Kevin was using phrases like one-dimensional, the songs were even worse than he thought.

"Superficial" Joe added.

Nick really wanted to kick something.

"Shallow" Kevin said

"I get it!" Nick tried to be calm and focus. "Why didn't you guys say anything?"

Kevin shrugged "You were hurting bro" Nick took a moment to appreciate the love of a brother.

"And we knew that you would see the suckiness eventually" Joe said. Moment over.

"Yeah- I see it now. These aren't even worth trying to fix." His hands ran over his face then stood kicking the chair away from him "Let's get out of here I can't stand looking at them anymore"

"Already ahead of you" Joe smiled "Frankie warned us. Stella and Macy are on their way- then we are busting out of here!"

They knew him so well.

An hour and a half later they were sitting in a dark theatre; the plot of the movie wasn't complex enough to keep his mind off of the songs and the Jezebel fiasco. At first seeing an action flick seemed like a good idea- now he sat here wondering when this was going to end- he'd seen TV shows with more storyline than this.

He got up and made excuses as he left- promising he'd be right back. He sat on a bench outside the door. 5 minutes later the theatre door opened again revealing Macy.

"Hey"

"Hey"

She sat next to him.

"There is an action packed movie going on in there you know."

"Yeah"

"Not to mention the outrageously attractive girl doing ridiculously impossible stunts."

There was silence; He could see peripherally Macy observing him.

"Not enough plot to keep your mind off Jezebel?"

"Yes- no. A bit of both." Then unexpectedly he found himself explaining it all in a rush, "I mean it's not just Jezebel- it's the fact that I do torture myself for music- and it wasn't even worth it this time. Just the fact that I inflict emotional harm on myself is disturbing! At least with Penny 'Give Love a Try' was good." Nick exhaled slowly "but this time- after looking over the songs again it's all useless."

Silence fell again. "Wait 'Give Love a Try' was good right? Or am I just blind again?"

"Yes it's a great song" Macy confirmed "probably because Penny was better suited for you than Jezebel"

Nick nodded relieved, and stayed silent.

"hmmm…" Macy thought for a moment "You need something physical."

What?

"I've got it!" Macy brought her hand down on the bench

"What?"

"I'll let you find out- I'll be right back." She promised as she sprang to her feet- walking back into the theatre.

She came back a few minutes later dragging Kevin and Stella hauling Joe behind her. Joe was complaining loudly.

"Stop being a baby!" Stella chastened, glad that he couldn't gawk at the female lead anymore.

Macy rushed them to the cars- Stella, Joe and Kevin taking one Macy and Nick in the other- Macy in the lead. Nick had the suspicion that she kept him separate from the others so they couldn't spoil it.

"What are we doing? Where are we going?" Nick asked for the fourth time.

Macy grinned at him- "You'll see" she said for the fourth time.

Nick huffed- at least the mystery was enough to keep his mind off his masochism.

Macy turned into what looked like a park. There were other cars in the lot- it looked like some event was going on. Nick hoped Macy knew what she was doing; this was not a time he wanted to be mobbed by fans.

"Come on!" Macy encouraged- she had already gotten out of the car, waving the others to her. She pulled out a spare pair of tennis shoes and socks- for Stella presumably, and a flashlight.

He was getting more intrigued by the minute.

The group followed Macy quietly- Kevin had a goofy smile on his face- he clearly knew.

"So Kevi-"

"Don't even try it!" Macy ordered. "We're nearly there" Kevin shrugged at him still smiling.

There was light coming from a field-not that it was needed, it was a light night. No clouds covered the stars and the ¾ moon shone brightly. Macy didn't even use the flashlight.

There was a small group comprised of mostly males- all wearing dark colors.

Macy walked up to the group addressing one

"Hey Jerry- is this game almost done?"

"Macy! Didn't expect to see you here- uh yeah this round is nearly done."

"Awesome! Thanks, I have some newbies with me- thought they'd enjoy this."

"Great! The glow sticks are in the crate" He pointed to a box over to the side. "Just try to divide yourselves evenly"

"Sure thing!"

Macy turned back to them and waved them over to the box.

"Okay- this is an intense game of Capture the Flag. A group of about 20-30 people usually come here Sunday nights and play."

Nick couldn't contain his smile, this was perfect.

"So we have glow sticks- green and red to display teams, it's just like a regular game of Capture the Flag, but-"

"More Awesome!" Kevin exclaimed. Joe looked like he was ready to live up to his nickname, Macy grinned at their enthusiasm. Stella strangely seemed to be enjoying the thought of the game too.

"Yeah, it is awesome- I've come a few times and it's a blast. We just need to wait till this game is over- then they will add us in."

Joe, Kevin and Stella wandered towards the group again- Nick placed a hand on Macy's arm before she could join them.

"Macy, Thank you- this is exactly what I needed."

Macy smiled "Yeah- sports always makes me feel better- I thought you'd enjoy this."

"You know- you know me better than I do."

Macy blushed and inspiration struck again.

He knew for sure that this song would be worth a Grammy.

The premise of this was based on a John Mayer interview on Ellen. Ellen mentioned that bad experiences can always lead to good songs- to which John replied "That's true but sometimes you also find that you get a little bit masochistic just to come up with songs"

It amused me to think of Nick doing that subconsciously.

5/31/10 I'm so excited that Grammy Worthy won Best Nick in the HMA's Thank You SO much everyone I'm glad you like it!