Title: "I Love Your Brain"

Author: Sashocirrione

Spoilers: MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 58 of the manga and episode 25 of the anime.

Warnings: NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual content, sexual situation of dubious consent, violence. Extremely gross. Slight necrophilia, slight cannibalism.

Summary: Light reflects on just how weird L was, but he had no idea why L was so odd until after THAT event, when Light suddenly became obsessed with L's puke for no reason he could understand.

Pairing: A little bit of extremely weird LxLight, however it depends on how you interpret it.

Additional Notes: All canon events previous to the start of this fic have occurred as normal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

CHAPTER 1

It had been there since the first time Light had seen L at the To-Oh University entrance exams. The thought that L was... well, quite a weird guy. And that thought stayed with Light, only growing stronger with time. L was smart enough, and adept enough at manipulating people, that he must realize the impression he made. L must know that just a few things, such as dressing a bit better, would vastly improve other people's opinions of him, and yet he chose not to do those things.

True, there were some things he might not be able to do much about, such as his weird-looking eyes and perhaps his posture if that was a medical condition. But the ones L could change, he didn't, so he must not care.

And then, there was the way that L was careless about his own life. That was pretty weird too. Well, he always had a back-up plan to protect him, such as making sure Light would be proven as Kira if L died, but it was still true that confronting Kira directly was an extremely risky move.

L was using himself as bait, and he was more concerned with solving the case than preserving his life. L wouldn't throw his life away for no reason, but he would gladly sacrifice it if he could only solve the Kira case in the process. Light could easily see that willingness to die in all of L's moves, and it infuriated him to no end.

L gained a tremendous advantage that way. Light knew if he had been willing to sacrifice even half his lifespan, he probably could have used a genius plan to kill L that would have avoided the trap of being proven as Kira by L's death. L's willingness to give his life for the case was a way L surpassed Light. L played the game with more determination.

And, it was to some extent a game to L. That weirdo had an unnatural liking for the process of sparring with Kira. Light did see him display a genuine concern for what L considered justice, and a strong compassion for criminals, especially the minor ones, but there was more to it than that. L was such a weirdo that he enjoyed matching wits with someone who could easily kill him, and every time Light made a mental move that L was aware of, especially ones that messed up L's plans, L seemed quite pleased.

L was even full of compliments about the process. L was never afraid to say things such as "You really have amazing deductive abilities."

L was a polite enemy, Light had to grudgingly give him that much. It never made sense for someone with no regard for the opinions of others to be so polite, but then L was a complete weirdo. Light's opinion of L didn't change direction once he lost his memories and became handcuffed to the guy. Seeing L's personal habits and spending every moment of the day with him only strengthened Light's opinion that L was the oddest person he'd ever met, a true enigma.

L didn't do a single thing in a normal way, whether it was eating, sitting, bathing, or whatever. But the truly odd thing was L's sleeping habits. The detective rarely slept, but when he did he was entertaining to watch. Light didn't know what to think of it. The first time Light woke up and saw it, he was initially convinced L was having a wet dream, and then he thought it was perhaps some kind of seizure, and then he thought it was a really active nightmare of some kind.

But, L did the same thing whenever he was asleep, and nobody dreamed the entire time they were asleep. There should be times between dreams, but L apparently had none of those. Either that, or his actions were not the result of dreams. L twitched and jerked and writhed during every moment of his sleep, in a fairly vigorous manner, and a constant stream of half-formed unintelligible words spilled from his mouth all the while. At the same time, L's face looked exceedingly creepy, showing no single emotion, but rather acting as if different facial expressions were battling for control of it.

There was only one time L had anything different happen during his sleep. L had woken Light up as usual with his vocalizations and jerky motions, and Light was watching him, half from combined amusement and curiosity, half from the knowledge that it would be impossible to go back to sleep as long as L was making noise and pulling on the chain. Light was glad L only slept an hour or so each night. Eight hours of this would be intolerable.

Then, with no warning, L had sat bolt upright in bed, with a completely different look in his eyes than normal, displaying the blank, confused look of a sleepwalker. L had grabbed Light's shoulders and shook him hard, saying, "You have to run! Escape now!"

Light was pretty sure this was sleep-talking, but the hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end, and he couldn't help but say, "What?"

L said, "He's going to get you! Run away while you still can."

"Who?"

L's eyes darted around wildly, looking extremely insane, and then he said, "L will get you, Kira."

In the next moment, L's body slumped as drastically as if he had fainted, and then L was caught in the throes of his usual sleep-motions once again. The next morning, L made no reference to the experience at all, and acted as if it hadn't even happened. Light wanted to ask about it, but something about the experience was so unnerving that he just couldn't bring up the subject. The look in L's eyes was something he'd never forget. It was just so haunted.

And then, all during the time of the Yotsuba investigation, L was just so pleased at the little ways in which Light outsmarted him. When Light was the first to notice unusual deaths connected to Yotsuba, L didn't show the slightest sign of jealousy that the greatest detective in the world had fallen behind an upshot teenager, and when Light pulled the stunt with calling Namikawa and getting him to both delay deaths and be set up as a potential mole, L's only words were of admiration.

L had said, "It seems like something I would do, only you thought of it quicker."

And then, when the two were alone later that night, L brought up the topic again. He said, "You played Namikawa beautifully. I may let you impersonate L in the future; you're very good at it. I really love your brain, Light. You'd make a great detective, probably one better than myself."

Light replied, "I do want to be a detective. I suppose I'll join the NPA after the Kira case is closed. Perhaps I'll rise very quickly through the ranks, especially after working on this case alongside L."

L said, "Yes. If you're not Kira, you face a very promising career. I expect our paths will cross again."

"I really don't like you bringing up that topic. I'm not Kira!"

L said, "Even you must admit there's a small chance you're Kira, with your memories erased and scheduled to return at some point. And, if you are Kira, you won't have a career as a detective waiting for you. You'll eventually try to kill me, and then you'll be caught and go to jail."

"I thought you said Kira would be executed?"

In a tone as if it didn't matter at all, L said, "Execution, or life in prison. Those are the only things that await Kira, unless he is able to stop killing. His murders always leave clues, which must lead to his eventual capture. That is simply the way it works. At the present time, there is not enough evidence to convict you, Light, so unless more evidence against you is produced, you'll never face Kira's punishment. And, more evidence is unlikely to appear unless you kill people in the future."

Light laughed and said, "Well, that's what Higuchi will face. I can't be a mass-murderer. I'm sure I'd realize it, memories or not."

At the time, Light had thought it was another example of L being stubborn. Sure, most of the early clues pointed in Light's direction, plus it was obvious that the killings that continued during Light's confinement showed Higuchi's pattern of victim selection, so that didn't clear Light, but Light was sure there had to be some mistake. Kira was a bad person... right? And, Light knew he wasn't evil, therefore he couldn't be Kira. It was that simple.

But, then, when he snatched the death note from L's hands in the helicopter and all his memories rushed back at once, Light realized Kira wasn't evil, and he knew that L had been giving him a warning that night. L would rather fail to get a conviction and save lives by simply convincing Kira to stop than to allow the killings to continue in hopes of getting enough evidence to arrest Light. The punishment of one individual wasn't worth the lives that would be lost in order to get the proof.

Or, perhaps L saw him as a friend and liked him. Perhaps that was why there had always been so many compliments. It was difficult for Light to tell. L was almost completely unreadable about anything social.

But, Light was sure he could outsmart L and continue as Kira. L wasn't going to win so easily as to stop him with a stupid warning. Of course, L was right about one thing. A living L would catch an active Kira sooner or later, probably sooner, so L needed to be eliminated, and fast.

Light was sure L would test the 13-day rule, which still wouldn't prove anything, but it would make Light and Misa prime suspects again, and that couldn't be allowed. Suspicion had to be kept low for the Kira mission to continue unhindered. Putting Misa in danger would force Rem to do the job of killing L, leaving Light with a perfect alibi.

Towards the end, L seemed to realize that some mysterious plan was closing in on him, but without knowing what it was, he didn't have much chance of escape. Light knew he was quite lucky that Rem's protective feelings were so strong, otherwise he'd be pretty close to losing at this stage in the game. But, that was the beauty of using Rem to kill for him.

Without very specific knowledge about shinigami weaknesses, L couldn't counter Rem's move even if he did suspect she was on Kira's side. And, L shouldn't suspect Rem might kill him, because logically if Rem had intended to do that it should have happened immediately, not eight days later.

Light had every advantage with his nearly-indestructible ally, his specialized knowledge of the situation, and the airtight alibi that would be produced by staying in the headquarters building all the time, under constant surveillance, until after L's death.

After Light got his memories back, L noticed the change in personality and he even tried a couple of pitiful last-ditch attempts to get Light to give up the Kira mission. The first one was a discussion of Kira's philosophy. L had cornered Light in a hallway early in the morning when both were on their way downstairs to the main room where most of the work was done.

L started off the conversation by saying, "Kira is a lot of trouble. I wonder if he truly realizes he is murdering people? It must be easy to murder without seeing the victims die. Kira never has to watch them have painful heart attacks, or see their children mourn for them. Perhaps Kira would give up if he had full knowledge of all the misery he causes."

Light replied, "I am sure Kira knows what he is doing, but considers it fine if people who chose to do evil end up dying in order for a utopia to be created. That is certainly the way Kira thinks."

"So, Kira thinks the wishes of society are of no importance? If society wanted the death penalty to be applied so frequently, it could simply pass laws to have it that way. By acting as he does, Kira proclaims that his will is more important than society's will, that his severe punishments are the right way to treat crime no matter what everyone else has agreed is the proper punishment."

Light said, "I'm not defending Kira, but he probably thinks that one smart person is better suited to create a utopia than hundreds of bickering people in various governmental positions, each one listening to thousands of voters who can't agree with each other either."

"So, a dictatorship is better than a democracy? And, one smart person's whim should be the true law?"

"Well, Kira must think he is particularly suited to the task, or he wouldn't be doing this, would he? I expect his mind probably can't be changed."

L almost smiled then. A kind of amused, yet slightly sad, expression lit up his face. He said, "It's a good thing Kira is both unredeemable and intelligent. That's an excellent combination in a criminal. Exactly the sort I love to take down."

With that cryptic remark, L had stopped blocking the hallway and allowed Light to continue downstairs, where they both put in a hard day of work trying to catch the newest Kira, the one who was secretly Misa, without making any progress whatsoever. L still hadn't gotten to the point where he might suspect that Light would do something so seemingly suicidal as letting Misa kill criminals right away after Higuchi's death. It made no sense unless you knew about Rem's drive to kill in order to protect Misa.

The second last-ditch attempt L made was even more pathetic. It was that completely nonsensical conversation they'd had in the rooftop in the rain, in which L wildly alternated between various tactics, ending with a foot massage indoors and his pitiful little dialogue about "I'll be sad" and "We'll be parting ways soon."

Seeing that behavior and hearing those words did provoke a little twinge of guilt in Light, but he quickly shrugged it off. L was obviously putting on an act, he was lying, and it was a sign of his desperation, of his knowledge that defeat was quickly approaching him from an unexpected direction. L just wasn't smart enough to figure it out fast enough, and he had very little information with which to deduce anything about Rem.

As Light followed L downstairs to see whatever plan L had put in motion now, he couldn't help but feel a rising excitement. His enemy had all but acknowledged defeat, and Rem had been backed into a corner so thoroughly that she'd be forced to act soon.

And then, it was down to the final seconds. When Light knew Watari had been struck down, he gazed at L with a sick fascination. L was thinking fast, but his deduction that Rem killed Watari didn't come to him quickly enough, and he was only able to spit out half of that sentence before his own heart attack rendered him speechless and he was falling out of his chair.

Light couldn't help but draw close, under the pretense of grabbing L and cushioning his fall. When Light caught L, he almost couldn't believe how smoothly his plan had worked. True, Rem had waited until the danger to Misa was completely unmistakable before acting, but then she acted in the best possible way, taking out the only two people who still suspected Light and Misa at once.

There was a sense of triumph, and there was gloating, an extreme gloating that tested his resolve to keep from bursting out into laughter or shouting "I'm Kira," for the entire room to hear. Instead, Light satisfied himself with angling his face so only L could see his facial expression, and then smiling. But, underneath it all, there was a lurking curiosity about the enigma he held in his arms, the strange man that he had never truly known.

Light felt drawn to L's eyes, and he didn't understand the expression in them. He thought those eyes showed some relief at knowing the truth, at finally being one hundred percent sure, but beyond that, he just couldn't tell what L was thinking. The expression was so neutral, just looking, studying Light, as if L had all the time in the world instead of mere seconds. L should be sad and frightened, but neither of those emotions seemed to be present.

Then, as L's eyes closed and his body went limp, Light took in a deep breath in preparation for a scream that would convince the others of his grief and panic. That was when it happened. Puke was surging up out of L's lips, gray and with small lumps in it, but it was stirring an incredible attraction in Light.

The smell! Oh God. The smell.

It was the best thing Light had ever smelled in his life. It was like concentrated sweetness, like all the pies and cakes and cookies Light had ever caught the scent of all added together and multiplied by a hundred, and yet it wasn't too sweet, it was just perfect and everything he could ever want, and he was leaning down to lick it off L's chin and lips, and it tasted as good as it smelled.

Light whimpered in pleasure and little shocks went down his spine as he pressed his open mouth to L's completely unresponsive, utterly dead lips and began sucking in the vomit that was still surging up, gulping it all down hungrily. He couldn't get enough, and his whole body was tingling, and he was suddenly very hard, pressing his clothed erection against L's thigh as he embraced the corpse tightly, possessively.

Light was dimly aware of shocked exclamations around him, and then of hands on his shoulders. Why weren't they joining in? Couldn't they smell it? But, no, they were trying to pull him away rather than join the feast.

Light's muscles locked with the strength of the maniacally insane, and the others were unable to budge him as he continued to take in every surge, his tongue dipping into L's limp, dead mouth, eating it out, running along L's teeth, attempting to get every drop. It was a base instinct worming its way deep into his brain, and even when the vomit stopped surging up Light continued to lick the traces of it from the inside of L's mouth until suddenly an instinct told him he was done, just like that.

In the next moment he had dropped L's body and was rolling around on the floor in a mindless, blissful haze, still incredibly hard, and all his nerves were on fire, his spine feeling electric jolts that went up and down it in pulsing waves. As Light moaned in ecstasy, he could hear various phrases being said around him, but his mind could barely piece any meaning to the words.

"What happened?"

"Gone completely bonkers."

"Some kind of shock."

"Are we all going to die?"

"We need to help Light."

"Should we pump his stomach?"

"He's having a seizure!"

As Light writhed on the floor he felt many hands grabbing his arms and legs, pinning him in place, and he saw faces full of shock and fear hovering over him. Just then, his entire spine felt like it was on fire, and where it attached to his skull became a white-hot point of intense pleasure. Giddiness was moving through him, and he was aware that he was laughing, and then every muscle in his body became tight and rigid all at once, his back arching up from the floor, and he suddenly had an orgasm so hard, so fierce and so completely overwhelming that he screamed in ecstasy.

As he began receding from that high, his body was shaking from constant, uncontrollable tremors and his mind was starting to run in its usual tracks once again, thoughts assembling in a way that was closer to normal thinking. He was confused, looking around and blinking. He tried to speak but his teeth tried to chatter, biting at his tongue, so he didn't. For the first time during the entire experience, shame and revulsion were making their way into his consciousness.

What the hell did I just do? Eating vomit from a dead man's mouth? Oh shit, I got off on L. On his corpse. Did anyone notice what happened in my pants?

Soichiro said, "We need to get him to a hospital too."

Mogi said, "They'll be here in a couple minutes."

Light hugged his knees to his chest, huddling in on himself, trying to control the shaking. Why had L's vomit tasted so good? Was it some kind of mental breakdown causing the illusion that it tasted good, or was it just that L had eaten recently and maybe he hadn't added much digestive juice to his sugary-sweet food yet?

No, it shouldn't taste like that regardless. There should be some trace of sour stomach acid, and even if L were some kind of genetic freak who didn't start digesting his food until some time after he ate it, his vomit shouldn't taste better than any food Light had ever eaten in his life. It didn't make sense.

Wait, did that bitch Rem do something? Did she consider me a threat to Misa too and wrote down a controlled death of some kind for me?

Light struggled to his feet, swaying unsteadily. Instantly, his father was at his side, holding an arm, helping him to stand. Light had to see Rem's death note, find out what had been written.

Light gritted his teeth, stilling the involuntary movements of his jaw, and hissed through his teeth, "We need to investigate, to look for the shinigami. We should split up."

Light took another wobbly step. Yes, he could walk, he could do this. His arms and legs were shaking hard, but it was not any more difficult than walking in a very strong wind. He pushed his father away and took a few more steps on his own.

Soichiro said, "Son, you shouldn't push yourself. You need medical treatment."

Light said, "Don't worry about me. We need to look everywhere. We could die at any time, so we need to hurry. I'll take floors one through four to search. Split up the rest between yourselves."

Matsuda said, "Light's so brave, just like Ryuzaki."

Light took a few more steps. He'd seen Rem go through the wall. He knew where she must have died. It was the one room without any security cameras, little more than an equipment closet. It was the perfect place for a shinigami to write unseen. It wasn't far, he just needed to disperse the others so they wouldn't see him obtain Rem's death note.

Then, waves of vertigo suddenly hit him, and he was falling sideways. He felt someone catch him, and moments later he blacked out.

A/N (Author's Note):

I'm trying a kind of weird concept here, and I hope it works out and isn't too cheesy.

And, sorry about all the vomit, but I did warn for it!