NOTE: I apologize for previously placing a rant here. It was annoying to a lot of you and a turn off I bet and I will forever know now to not put rants at the beginning of a fic... but what about the end?

And no this is not historically correct. I apologize for forgetting to put that in here before. Thanks.

A/N: I've been wanting to write this story for awhile now. For months so I'm happy to at least have gotten through the first chapter. It's one of those triangle love stories and it's my favorite triangle in the whole series too. Enjoy. NOTE: THE PAIRING I HAVE IN THE DISCRIPTION DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS THE PERSON ENGLAND IS GOING TO END UP WITH. You guys will just have to guess.

Rating: M

Pairing: AmericaxEnglandx???

…

England was an expert on noticing change. He wasn't too fond of it unless it led to success later on in his life. He'd notice straight away, especially when it came to people. Though… he was never sure when Alfred would start to change.

He thought about this for awhile. He wasn't too concerned much about him growing taller or his voice growing deeper. It was the fact that he "might start distancing themselves away from you". Hm… Well he did figure it had to do with age. He heard somewhere about that puberty rubbish which sometimes resulted in the children to start separating from their parents.

Did that apply to America too? Would he have to worry about such things? The Britain sighed. Ahh… I hope he stays a good boy…

"Brother England! Come ooonn~! I'm bored!" Little America ran past the door to the study, chasing after the ball England had just given to him as a present.

"A-ah. Coming." Arthur quickly put down his "Top 10 Things to Worry About as a Parent" book and hurried after him, afraid that the child might run into something. He closed the door after him, "H-hey! I told you no running!" Though he was scolding him he still sported a smile on his face.

Age 5: Still attached

…

Age 8: Kisses come first

England took hold of the American's tie and started tying it around the boy's neck. It was his first time actually wearing something 'decent' sporting a nice, white dress shirt and pressed black shorts. America didn't approve of it all too much, complaining about how the belt was too tight (when in fact it fit just right) and his feet hurt (he never liked wearing shoes). Despite this he paid close attention to how Arthur tied it. Each loop, tuck and pull was all memories and processed in his big, blue eyes and soon it was all finished with England tightening it around his neck.

"There, all done." England smiled, accomplished at the sight of such a sophisticated looking Alfred.

America groaned, still staring down at his tie, "Brother England… do you really have to wear something like this to parties?"

"Well of course. You want to look nice don't you?"

"I looked nice before…"

England laughed at the memory of America coming home in mud soaked clothes and brought the younger boy closer to him. "Well then you look nicer."

"People won't make fun of me right?"

"Psk. What? No, you'll be the best looking one there."

America's expression turned from disapproving to calmer, "Really? What about you?"

Arthur was just playing now, "Hm… I'll be the second."

It fell silent not because America was thinking about his words, but was still displeased at the whole thing. The boy pulled away from the adults hold and looked down, "How long is the party?"

He smiled sympathetically as he took his hand, "Look, it won't be too long. It's just a little get together. And if it does carry on for too long you can come back up here early okay?" America nodded, smiling up at him finally which made England feel a little bit better. "Good." Arthur sighed and leaned forward to kiss the younger's forehead. America gasped as his face turned bright red.

"E-England!" He pulled away, "Y-you can't be doing something like that."

"Hm?" He cocked his head, "Why? I always kissed you in the past."

"Well, now that I'm wearing these clothes I've realized I'm more of a man than I was before."

So you were a man before too? England chuckled. "So?"

"So… You can't be kissing men."

Arthur wondered how this boy's head worked. He transformed because of a little outfit change? Were all children like this? Either way he smiled and nodded, "Oh I see… Well can I still get a hug?"

Alfred thought about this, his cheeks now a light shade of pink. But after a second he smiled brightly and embraced the Britain playfully. "Yup!" Suddenly the doorbell rang in a few soft chimes which made the boy frown.

"Ah, don't worry. At least you won't be alone. The Vargas brothers are going to be here."

"Really?" This didn't make him any happier, "But they're never any fun! They aren't good at sports or anything I like… I always have to end up playing by myself…"

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. I'll just play with you later then okay?"

America nodded and the Britain started leading the boy downstairs.

…

Age 13: From brother to just boy

"What's up, England!"

Said nation paused at hearing his name with an unfamiliar voice coming from behind him. Something felt weird about how his name was said, but he quickly shook it off. Then he gasped silently and hid his reddening face behind the dictionary he was currently returning to his study. Could it be? He turned his head and sure enough an older, but still shorter Alfred stood before him with a bright smile on his face. "A-America! But I thought… I was going to visit you tomorrow morning? What brings you here today?"

"I wanted to surprise you!" Arthur noticed that America was hiding something behind his back.

"What is it you got there?"

"What? Don't tell me you can't guess?"

The Britain blinked, "G-guess…?"

The boy quickly threw his hands in front of him and the sudden action made the older drop his book, "H-happy birthday!" It didn't sound sincere as much as it was obvious. "Jeez, don't tell me you forgot!?"

England was speechless as he took his neatly wrapped gift. He did in fact forget. But knowing the American didn't made him even happier. He smiled, kneeling down and hugging the boy gently. "Thanks a lot for this, America."

Alfred nodded, "Mm! No problem, England!"

The man's eyes widened as he leaned back, "England?" So it was from before! "What happened to brother?"

The boy shrugged, "I don't know… It seems… kinda weird to say now…"

His eyebrows furrowed. It seemed kind of rude now that it was said. Should he be upset? They weren't brothers after all so it was bound to happen right? He couldn't scold him. Though, he was really getting used to his status as an 'older brother'. He wasn't too fond of informalities. "Well, okay then."He wondered if this is what a parent felt like when their child started calling them by their first name.

America's beautiful eyes strained, "S-should I still call you brother?"

The Britain shook his head slowly, "Not if you don't want to." He smiled, "You're really growing up fast aren't you?" It didn't sound like a question though.

"Yup!" The American leaned forward, resting his hands on the man's shoulders, "And soon I'll even be taller than you!" England could see the future through the boy's eyes as he was imagining it. He never noticed how stunning he was. Just thinking about it made his face turned pink. "Hey?" The boy noticed how silent his 'brother' was and placed a soft, concerned hand on his cheek, "Are you okay?"

"Ah… ah…" The situation didn't help his face grow any less red, "yeah…"

"Well then come on~!" He pulled England forward, forcing him off of his knees so that he could follow, "You still have to open your present!" Alfred laughed.

"Wait." He pulled his hand away slowly, "I dropped it. I'll just meet you in there 'kay?" America nodded ecstatically as he disappeared into the other room. The Britain knelt down to retrieve the present and just then he noticed something weird about the gift that was given to him. "When did he start wrapping things so neatly?"

…

Kiku placed the tea pot and cups on the small tray and slowly walked back into his sitting room. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." The Asian replied to his two foreign visitors as he sat on his own side of the table, folding his legs under him in a very neat fashion. The two remained silent as their tea was poured and the first man to receive his cup was the much laid back Frenchman.

He took the cup and thanked the man with a dazzling smile, "Merci, Kiku."

The Britain watched as his own cup was poured and he enjoyed the feeling of the warm, steamy aroma brush against his face as he was handed his. "U-uh! Ari-Ari…" Blast, I had it last night… "Ariga… tuu…"

Japan giggled lightly while France chocked on his tea, "Arigatou."

England laughed apologetically as he took a sip of his own tea. He glared at Francis for chuckling again at his embarrassing attempt. "Shut up 'ya git! Merci~ my ass! At least speak English-the universal language-when you talk to someone foreign 'ya git!"

"Well excuse me! I thought your mistake was rather cute is all~."

"I'm gonna kill you…" The Britain growled.

Kiku laughed lightly at the whole think as he tried calming his guests down. "It doesn't bother me one bit, England-san so-so please don't worry about me too much." He took hold of his own cup, ready to drink, "I at least know what merci means." He replied.

"Ah!" Arthur's face turned red as he bowed his head, "I-I'm so sorry!"

"I-it's alright." England groaned, feeling even more embarrassed than before. After Japan was able to take a little sip he asked, "So what brings you here today?"

"W-well…" The Britain paused remembering that the damn Frenchman was here too. "Yeah, France, what brings you here today?"

Said nation swallowed a huge gulp of his tea before replying, "Just passing by~!"

Yeah right… He turned back to Kiku, "W-well. I'm sorry for intruding, but I really enjoy your tea and there's none like it back home. And… I just needed to clear my head."

"Is something troubling you?"

England rested his head on his palm, "It's America. He's growing up so fast. I-I don't know what to make of it."

"Oh-ho-ho~ America." France pronounced his name like he was some rare, delectable treat. Even if he was raised up by you I'm sure he is looking rather ravishing now, eh?"

The Britain gasped as his face turned red, "H-how can you say that!?"

France smirked at him, "Mm~ so he is… I shall make sure to visit him one day."

"Don't you dare go near him! Don't even go near the Atlantic Ocean!"

Well that's going to be a problem. Francis laughed as he watched Kiku pour him another cup, "Calm down, idiot, I was just kidding." England sighed at his cup, too tired to be trying to pick fights today. "But," France started which made the other glare up at him, "you say he's growing up… but it still sounds like you're still too over protective of him."

"Ah-!" Arthur was about to protest until he stopped himself. Because he was right. He has grown too attached to the boy and he knew some other weird feeling was growing as well. Every time he thought of him it always made his face turn a light shade of pink. "Damn…" The Britain ran a hand through his hair, "I just don't want to see him go."

Japan was intrigued by this conversation considering it was all alien to him because of the fact that he's never brought up anyone before… But by the sound of it he wasn't sure if he ever wanted a child in the future. As he went to take a sip of his tea he found that it had gotten cold. Perhaps he was too intrigued.

"Well it happens sooner or later. Like it or not." Frances continued. "In fact, Feliciano grew apart from me way before America has. Back when he was around 7."

England snickered, "Psk. Any kid would want to get away from you as soon as possible." He mumbled.

"What was that!?"

"You heard me!"

Kiku only laughed. He enjoyed the company no matter how loud they got. It took way from his land's usual silence. "Would you both like some more tea?" He Asian stood up before the two even replied. England thanked him before he disappeared into the kitchen. While he brew the next batch he chuckled at the bickering he heard in the other room.

…

Age 17: Hugs for farewell

England hesitated when he tried to knock on America's door. It had been awhile since he's seen him and because of that he thought it might be appropriate to get the boy a present… but because he hadn't seen him in awhile he had no idea what he liked. It's been years since he last saw him. Well he did visit him on occasion from time to time, but it was brief. Would he still whine about it? Was he more mature than before? He knocked on his door quietly and a low sounding "come in" was heard from the other side. He opened the door slowly and prepared himself for what was to come.

When he saw him he almost had a heart attack right then and there. He clutched the doorknob tightly so he wouldn't fall over and stared at the now grown up Alfred with wide, emerald eyes. Was it possible that he looked even more radiate than he did when he was a child? The Britain felt his cheeks go hot as America turned his head from his text book to look at his stunned 'brother'. "Oh, hey! Long time no see, England!" He smiled handsomely before returning back to his book.

"U-uh, hello." Arthur straightened himself out and walked over to him, "So let me guess; too old for hugs now, huh?"

America chuckled, his eyes never wondering from his book, "How'd you guess?"

There was silence as the Britain tried to think of something else to say, "So, how've 'ya been?"

"Okay."

"Do anything exciting lately?"

"Not really."

"Feeling well?"

"Sure."

America had been answering the questions so quickly and never once looked back at him. He didn't like their lack of communication. "U-um… do you need any help?"

The boy shrugged, "Not really. I can at least handle crap like this by myself."

"Jeez. Would you at least talk to me?" Arthur pouted.

"I'm studying!" He could tell the American started to get irritated.

"Right… I apologize."

Alfred turned toward his guardian with a less than enthusiastic look on his face, "Hey, England. Would you mind? I'm trying to finish, we can talk later."

England nodded, displeased by this whole thing. Despite this he left his room, closing the door quickly behind him. He leaned against it and slid down slowly, resting his head against the cool wood. The worst has happened just as he had feared.

"Oh and England-!?" The door suddenly opened and England fell back against the floor. He looked up to see a surprised looking America staring down at him. Alfred's expression turned dissatisfied soon after, "Jeez, England. I told you to get out, not hang around my door like some stalker."

Arthur growled and stood up quickly, "It's my house. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"What's your problem!? You've been really annoying since you got here!"

"You've been rude to me!"

"I was freakin' studying! Do you not want me to study!? I'll stop right now!"

"America!" England tightened his fists, "You may have 'grown up', but I am still older and you need to start treating me with respect!"

"Why should I? Why should I respect someone who's never here!?"

England let out an angry sigh and without thinking slapped the boy right across the face. It sounded so loud to him compared to how it actually was and America stared at the older in complete shock. He had never expected to be hit by Arthur before and by the look on the other's face he never expected it either. "It's not like I wanted to be away from you! I had no choice! I wanted you to succeed in this world! It was all for you!"

America glared at the man, "Am I that much of a burden to you then? Having to travel back and forth from two houses just so you can see me?"

"I nev-!"

"Then maybe I should just leave!"

His words felt like daggers just plunging into his heart, "Then maybe you should!" There was silence and suddenly England realized the severity of his words and covered his mouth. America's eyes widened again, realizing for the first time how tough England's love was. He turned away and started towards his closet. England followed after him, "A-America you know I didn't mean it."

"I know," He paused as he opened his suitcase, "but you're right. I'm old enough to start taking care of myself anyway. It's time I stopped being a burden to you."

"You're never a burden to me." England plopped lazily on his bed knowing that his words were no match for America's mind set. Once the boy made up his mind, there was no stopping it. It was his fault. He was so caught up in the moment he wasn't thinking straight. He was the one putting this false hope in the boy's head.

The Britain looked over at his messily packed suitcase as it was closed and once he heard the small click it felt like his whole being shattered. "W-wait!"

America looked over at him and smiled, "Don't worry. I'll be fine. You raised me after all."

How can you smile so brilliantly when you're leaving!? "But you don't have to go."

"But I want to."

England felt a tear threatening to spill, but for the life of him he didn't want to show such weakness in front of the younger nation. "So I guess this is the hardest part a parent has to take when it comes to their child, eh?" He laughed awkwardly.

America threw his suitcase behind his back and leaned forward to give the Britain a goodbye kiss. It was a sweet kiss and surprisingly on the lips where he would never expect the American to show affection towards him, ever. Was he missing something? Something the American couldn't tell him? The kiss was brief and soon Alfred pulled away and waved him goodbye before closing the door silently.

He was gone and England was foolish to assume that his one tear wouldn't turn into a million. "Idiot." He replied silently, looking out the window towards the sky as if he expected something precious to peer back at him, "Idiot… Perhaps this was good for me. Because I was getting threatening close to telling you…" Little did he know that the American was still lingering outside his door.

"That I was in love with you…"

…

That night his house had become increasingly cold after America left. He was used to being separated from him, but knowing he couldn't just visit anymore made him feel lonely and afraid if Alfred would ever come back. Though if America had heard his concern the carefree boy would only shake his head and disagree "because I'm the Hero!" he'd say.

He missed him and he didn't want to spend the night alone worrying about him. But he didn't know anyone who would take him because he never really had any friends. Acquaints' really, but no friends.

But he wasn't thinking about this when he wondered out of his house. He wasn't thinking about it when he traveled to the man's house. He wasn't thinking when he rang his door bell or when the person opened his door to wonder why in the world he was there at this hour. He only thought of America and why he didn't stay or why he wasn't strong enough to stop him.

"I-I'm sorry." He replied, close to tears, "I didn't know where else to go…" He started to sob and the man looked up at him with concern. He led England inside and embraced him for what seemed like the whole night. And throughout this night the man could hear the sound of a heart shattering…

To be continued.

My first ongoing Hetalia story so please be kind to me.

Originally you were supposed to find out who England's lover was this chapter, but it ended up being longer than I thought so I'll just separate it into two chapters. Sorry about using this age: a, age: b stuff again, but it was necessary for the story. It probably isn't too hard to figure out who his lover his, but if you want to know you'll just have to read the next chapter and I hope you do! ;D

P.S. Edit later.