-Okay, so Sasuke returned to the village, expecting some kind of reception, happy/mad out-to-kill-him friends, but nothing of the sort happens. Why? Does it have something to do with a pregnant Hinata, an agonized Naruto, and an overprotective Sakura and her huge group of bodyguards? -Based off of Breaking Dawn-

Okay, I want to make some things clear. This was my FIRST fanfic. It was supposed to be a stupid crack which turned out pretty good, as some reviewers told me. But the first few chapters, starting from the third or fourth, has a lot of copyright from Twilight's Breaking Dawn. I know that, but I have no time to correct it right now. I will correct it though . . . sometime in the future.

Chapter One

No Way to Say

"Well, Uchiha, I have to say… This is . . . well, surprising." the fifth Hokage said, flipping angrily through a very large medical book. "I have my hands full as it is, what with the village in the state that it's in…" Her voice trailed off as the ex-missing nin processed those words.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude," Karin suddenly interrupted Tsunade, "But I expected something more—I don't know—lively, I guess. From what we've heard from other villages, Kohana-"

"Konoha," Tsunade corrected in a bit of a growl.

"Yeah, whatever. Isn't this village supposed to be filled with happy people who are either citizens or ninja of Konoha and not Suna!"

And even though Sasuke didn't show it, he too wondered the same question. What had Tsunade mean by 'with the village in the state that it's in'? What could possibly be so troublesome that most of the villagers weren't walking around outside of their homes? And why were those who were walking outside all seemed worried and frightened? Why had Suna ninjas stand guard of the village? Where were the Konoha ninjas? And why had he not seen the hyperactive blond ninja, the perverted silver haired and one-eyed sensei, and the annoying pink-haired brat for the four hours he had been in the village?

"Well, I don't really know how to explain it, but . . . there has been trouble inside the village itself. Suna is just here as an ally and is helping us protect ourselves from outside forces while we . . . anoo, settle things." Tsunade explained. "The jonin are all in over their heads, and Konoha 11 are . . . well, they're . . . I can't really explain it, but . . . you see . . . Ugh… How can I explain this?" The elderly woman rubbed her neck as she thought of her words.

"They're dead?" the water-boy in Sasuke's group suggested.

"HELL NO!" Tsunade screeched, making Suigetsu cringed behind Juugo and Sasuke while also making Sasuke raise one of his eyebrows.

Tsunade sat back down in her chair and sighed. "Well, you see, the thing is…"

Shizune came in at that time. "Lady Tsunade, I've got the rest of the medical documents you wanted." And in her hands were a stack of seven humongous textbooks and six overly-large scrolls.

The Fifth groaned. "I swear, they'll be the death of me." she muttered. "Put them down . . . somewhere."

"Got it." Once the black-haired woman had her hands freed, she got a good glimpse of the people in the room. "Oh, nice to see you back, Sasuke. Maybe you can help. With the way things are, we could sure use any extra help we can get."

"Help?" the Uchiha asked. "For what?"

"Well-"

"Shizune, just bring these four to Sakura's home. I'm sure she and the rest of Konoha 11 can explain things better than we can especially since…" The Hokage heaved a heavy sigh.

Sasuke's group stared at her in confusion while Shizune nodded. "Right."

"Oh, and tell Sakura that Hinata's test came in and that Hinata should have a little bit more of proteins, thiamin, and vitamin C."

"On it, Lady Tsunade." She opened the door and motioned for Team Hebi to follow. "Come on… I think both Naruto and Sakura need something to cheer them up, what with everything going on. It'll do them some good . . . hopefully." she sighed. "You came a really good time, Sasuke."

"Hn." Did something happen to Sakura?