Author Note

I just wanted to say Hi to everyone who has read, reviewed and enjoyed this fic. At the moment I am considering removing this story from FFN. I have over the last few years used the original characters from this story in a Serial novel —although the story is different— I am now looking at the copyright implications of leaving this story up here as is.

I know this story is loved by many of you and still read regularly. It has been posted here more than 4 years and believe it or not I still get emails from readers almost every week about this fic. I promise will let you know as soon as I've made a decision. For more info on my published work, or if you just want to see what (and who) Maggie is doing now, please visit my website, the address can be found on my profile.

PS for those of you who have not seen my post, YES, Road to Nowhere is going to be removed (10 days) and rewritten as an original novel. So if you want to read it get to it.

PSS- I am looking for Beta Readers for my published work. This is not like Beta Reading for Fanfic. All I need are readers who love Paranormal Romance, can stomach heavy doses of erotica and can clearly express their opinions and ideas. My email can be found on my profile hit me up if you are interested.

This takes place right after "Abandon all hope". Actually I haven't seen it yet The idea was sort of set off by the previews for it and the very Human Castiel in "The End" I'm rating it M maybe even MA Because I am not sure where this will go. The subject matter is pretty adult involving the past death of a child.

This is Castiel/OC more or less what would happen if he found himself alone and powerless. The first fanfic I have published here. I don't normally write fanfic, most of my writing is original work but his character has caught my attention with its many possibilities. I await comments if there is interest I will continue. I do hope you enjoy reading as much as I do writing! :)

Thank you everyone who left reviews, I have added the rest of the first chapter, again please tell me what you think. This is a but of a strange story for me. I started this in the begining to be a ghost story that involved an angel and I could never quite get behind it the way I liked. I could never quite get my angel right. Thank goodness for Castiel! lol He fit perfectly!

The character is this story are purely fictional and I do not own any of them and I can prove it. If I did I would be far too busy and exhausted to be writing this stuff! :)

Till We Find Ourselves Again

"I don't like it not one bit" Dean grumbles looking out of the window of Bobby's house.

"Oh keep your pants on" Bobby grumbles. "Its only been a week, and besides I'm pretty sure he can take care of himself better than most of us"

" Doesn't make me feel any better" Dean snapped. " Did you see him when he left? He didn't look like he could take care of himself or anyone else"

" I have to admit I've never seen Castiel look so defeated" Sam said joining the conversation.

"Oh Bullshit" Bobby snapped " He's a friggin angel. Remember the guy who dragged Deans charred little ass outta hell? I think he can handle himself out in the real world for a week or so on his own!"

"Yeah Bobby, but.. But.. his mojo… it wasn't so good when he took off, and now.. Well. No Cass for a week? You have to admit, it just doesn't seem right." Sam offered.

Dean quickly added "Not to mention, he isn't exactly and fan favorite of either side right now. Both, angels and demons would like nothing better than to have his ass in a vice, maybe even more than my own."

"Okay Okay," Bobby relents. "We'll give it a few more days. If no word from him I'll make some calls, ask around a little but, THAT'S ALL! You know he could be working on a lead and just might not need us poking around! Keep pushing and you might get him deep fried."

" Okay it's possible" Says Dean, "but, something just doesn't feel right."

"Thanks man" Says a semi relieved Sam.

"Yeah yeah.. Whine whine.." Bobby grouches as he steers his wheel chair out of the room," It's the friggin apocalypse, I got better things to do than Baby-sit Deans precious angel."

1

"Damn" Maggie Harper mutters to her self as she rolls over and attempts to bury her head under a spare pillow and her thick bed quilt, as the bright morning sun shines straight through the window spilling onto her bed. "Thicker blinds.. I am going out today and getting thicker blinds. Big thick black ones! Move the bed, I'm moving the bed too!" Maggie has had this conversation with herself nearly every morning during the two years she has lived in the cabin. She has never done either. Truth is, one of the reasons she wanted the cabin was because she thought it would be wonderful to have a sun filled room every morning.

That was then, this is now. Truth be told, she could care less if the sun ever rose again. It wasn't so much the sun Maggie had a problem with, It was more the fact that she woke up at all each and every morning, as far as she was concerned she died two years ago.

"Two years ago today" She thought to herself as she stared across the room at the white cradle and its contents. Her chest heavy, her jaw clenched. She knew she would relive that day over and over in her head, every detail. Would it ever stop hurting? How long would she have to live this way? "That fucking sun just keeps coming up every fucking morning." She mumbled to herself as she got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

Staring herself down in the mirror she sighed. "one more day just gotta make it through one more day". It was a mantra she repeated to herself daily as she worked up the courage to face the world, but this wasn't just any other day. This was THE day. The day her world stopped turning and the day she lost her reason to live. Deep down she wanted to feel alive again, if only to stop some of the pain but, she just couldn't find a reason.

Little did she know, she would find that reason, face down and crumpled in a mudd puddle, that very same November afternoon..

Maggie's world was about to change… Again.

Castiel found himself on a street corner of a small Pennsylvania town. He wasn't entirely sure why he came here or how he even got there, as most of the last few days have been a blur. " How long have I been out here" He wondered to himself. " A few days? A week?" His mind tried to string it all together. All of the events of the last week or so have been so confusing to him. That confusion among other things was a large part of why he set out on his own so suddenly but, he had to get his bearings. Everything was changing for Castiel and he needed to figure out while the still had time.

Standing on the Corner he surveyed the town, "Not much of a town" He thought to himself. Comparing it to even the smallest towns he had visited with dean it seemed sparse. Not a ghost town however, there were cars, mostly pick up trucks, older models, a seeming over abundance of over 40 men wearing baseball caps, flannel shirts and threadbare or patched jeans and overalls. He half expected to see Bobby Singer himself come around the corner at any time.

Castiel actually enjoyed Bobby a great deal. True, they didn't seem to have the best relationship but, as an angel of the lord, he was able to see Bobby's true self and knew very well the man had a good soul and most of his grumpiness was a put on more for protection than out of meanness or spite.

"My Father has tested that man hard and he has come through with flying colors every time." He thought to himself once again, and the thought made him start to smile. Castiel caught himself as his lips were curling up right,

"What is this about?" He wondered, Not that smiling was a bad thing but, as an angel emotions were pretty much reserved for moments of extreme. Yes, there was the occasional smile or laugh between comrades, anger, even frustration were normal to feel during battle, but not this.

Since he had come to earth He had experienced more emotion than he should, even chose sides in the ultimate battle, which is what has led to his current predicament, but… He was not accustomed to the feelings that had begun to flood him this last week. Smiling out of nowhere at the mere thought of an acquaintance? The guilt he felt each time he ignored his cell phone as it rang in his coat pocket over the last week, knowing very well it was Dean but, not wanting to talk to him until he found a solution, The relief he felt when the battery finally died and he no longer had to ignore the persistent ringing. All of these feelings were new to him.

Probably the worst of the feelings was the sadness he had begun to feel. He wasn't sure it was sadness exactly but, from what he knew of it he was pretty sure it was. It started a few days ago, when his phone stopped ringing and he realized he had nothing. Heaven was in turmoil he couldn't go home, he would almost certainly be killed, His powers were all but gone so he had spent most of the last week walking to his destination, teleporting was out of the question now, he was just too weak. He refused to go back and hide behind Dean, he simply would not do that. He was, after all, an angel of the lord and he was going to be brave and fierce if it killed him. Problem was it just might.

Lastly he was noticing some physical changes that never seemed to be an issue before, He had a gnawing in his stomach he was certain was hunger, a thickness in his mouth and a scratching throat that he was sure indicated thirst, his head was fuzzy and starting to actually hurt! The cold wind on his face was becoming more and more unpleasant as well, his hands had gotten so cold they had become numb on occasion causing him to reluctantly put his hands in his coat pockets to warm them, and now, about an hour ago, he actually yawned! He was confused to say the least. It seemed the more his powers faded the stronger the emotional and physical feelings were becoming. "Human, I'm

becoming human" he muttered to himself.

Staring at her dark red curly mop in the bathroom mirror Maggie sighed. "Looks" like a rabid poodle is parked on my head" She said out loud. She hated those curls had hated them her entire life, when she was a little girl most adults ooohed and awwwed at them, she hated it. As an adult most women said they would kill for her hair, "Ha! they wouldn't have to" she thought, she would trade with most in a heartbeat, still it was her hair. "sigh". She reached for a large toothed clip, ran her fingers through the curls, twisted and clipped them up away from her face and neck. Looking in the mirror satisfied this was an improvement, albeit not by much, she turned on the water and washed her face, brushed her teeth and stripped off the T-shirt she had slept in the night before. She grabbed a pair of jeans off of the hamper sitting in the corner of the bathroom and pulled a sweater and socks out of the drawer in her still too bright bedroom. As she walked she worked the creamy beige cable knit over her arms and head and walked down the stairs.

Her plan was to go to Morningstars Corner Market, Grab a coffee, a paper and a few necessities maybe kill some time in town, until noon she thought would be good, she just didn't want to sit home all day, not today. It was Sunday, Ty Morningstar would open late and close early so as not to miss any college games broadcast on his new satellite system.

Shaking herself from her thoughts she headed towards to door to grab her boots, that's when she saw it. Maggie stopped dead about 3 feet from the door, her breath caught, she could feel the blood draining from her face. There on the floor just in front of her door was a small yellow rubber duck. "Not again" she whispered "and please not today" But there is was. She stood frozen for a moment, then took a deep breath and approached the small toy, she bent and picked it up almost as if it were a living thing, she looked at the toy and then around the room for any clue, any reasonable excuse for how it could have gotten there. There was none.

Holding it gingerly and fighting tears she walked to the small laundry room just beyond her kitchen and placed it in a basket of freshly folded towels, Carefully placing another towel on top so she wouldn't have to look at the toy again for a while. Taking a deep breath she headed back to her front door determined to start over as if she had never found the duck there. She pulled on her boots, grabbed her handbag and headed for her car, Well, Jeep, she drove an old but not so beat up Jeep Cherokee, It used to be cherry red now it was more a faded pinkish orange, but it had no rust or dents, the interior was in ok shape and most importantly it ran and ran well and that mattered the most in a hard winter in a small secluded town.

Castiel, still standing on the street corner looking around begins to notice his legs felt funny, "now what?" he says, exasperated under his breath, as he looks down at his legs. He has no idea what the feeling is but, he knows he doesn't like it. "sigh why am I here?" he asks out loud to himself. When he left Sam and Dean all he knew was, he had the urge to head this direction and over the last few days that urge had become more intense. Still he had no idea why.

Looking at the clock in the dash of her Jeep Maggie noticed it was just after 11:00 am. " "WOW! Just how long did you spend staring at your self in the mirror?" she said to herself. "Only half as long as you are going to spend talking to yourself" She answered her own question as she looked at her reflection in the rear view mirror. "Shit Maggie you really have lost it" Thinking to herself this time, as she pulled out of her driveway headed towards town.

Castiel decided to move, walk across the street maybe this would make the feeling in his legs go away, but no luck, as he walked they ached, so did his feet. He was beginning to understand pain and was developing an ever growing appreciation for humans. He could see a store in front of him He could read the name on the fading sign, "Morningstar's Corner" As he got closer the rest of the sign came into focus "Bread, Milk, Guns and Ammo". He wasn't sure why but it made him think of Dean, and then of course he had a jag of guilt. He continued walking looking around trying to understand what brought him here. There was a small post office, a coffee shop a slightly larger diner across the street. He could see a pharmacy and a small department store, He has passed a School a block so behind him but nothing unusual. He noticed a small park just beyond the coffee shop so he decided to walk there, at least there he could sit on a bench and maybe his legs and feet would give him some relief.

Maggie pulled into the small parking lot to the side of the store, hopped out of the Jeep and went inside, Ty saw her and smiled, "Mornin" he said "you're running late today aren't you?"

Maggie smiled back hoping it didn't look too forced "Got sidetracked I guess"

"It happens" Ty said.

Maggie Grabbed the few things she needed and a newspaper and headed to the counter. "No Coffee today?" Ty asked.

"Nah, think I am going to head over to Granny Annies and actually eat something this morning" She replied with half a chuckle.

Ty smiled, He always liked the young woman but always sensed a sadness about her and he was always pleased to see her smile, " That sounds like the better idea" he said with another smile.

He rang up her order and she paid him and walked out of the store. She took her bags to the Jeep and then decided to walk to the diner, Granny Annies was the only real restaurant in town. It was small but the food was actually good. On her way she noticed someone sitting in the park. He was pretty far away but she could make most of his features out. She slowed down a bit to get a longer look. It seemed like at one time he was well dressed but now his clothes looked more than a little rumbled and dirty, at least his trench coat. Still he was a very attractive man, dark messy hair and strong jaw line and profile, A few days stubble, and although she is certain she had to imagine it she could swear she could see blue eyes, "No he's too far away to tell his eyes" talking to herself again… As if jolted awake she realized she had stopped walking in the middle of the street to stare at this man. Worse yet he was staring right back. "Oh great Maggie, flirt with the homeless Dude, bright real bright" she chastised her self. She backed off the street and headed to the dinner.

Castiel wasn't sure who the woman was all he knew is his head seemed to clear a bit when she came into view, He also noted she was quite attractive, this was also a new feature of his human quality, he was beginning to appreciate the beauty of some humans as something other than his father's "works of art". This new feeling didn't distress him as much as some of the others because is sort of felt good, and well, they were beings his father created after all he should admire them.

Since he had seen her, he now had an urge to speak with her. The same urge he had to come to this town, he now understood it is somehow connected to this woman. Remembering Dean's lessons, he knew he could not just walk up to her and announce himself as an angel but, he wasn't comfortable with lying to her either. He decided to think about how he would approach her while she was in the dinner he felt sure something would come to him by the time she came out.

Maggie was seated next to the window in the diner, She had a perfect view of the park, the bench, and the man seated on it. The waitress handed her a menu and she ordered coffee and juice and thanked her. Without ever taking her eyes off the strange man in the park. Ten minutes later when the waitress returned for her order, she hadn't even picked up the menu. Startled she just ordered toast and bacon and went back to gazing at the man. This time more alert. Why was she so fascinated by him? She had lived here nearly 2 years and while everyone was friendly she hadn't really taken and interest in anyone here. She was much more content to just wallow in her own misery and she was starting to like it that way. Why now was this man, who obviously was in need of a bath and fresh clothing, at the very least, so interesting to her?

Castiel could see the woman through the window. He made up his mind that when he saw her food come he would leave his bench and walk toward her car. He had no idea how to approach her but, at least he would be close enough and hopefully come up with an excuse by the time she reached her car. Besides, he really did want a closer look at her. He thought she may be one of his fathers finer "works of art". With that thought his mouth once again started to curl into a smile. He didn't fight it this time as it really did feel good.

Maggie's food came and this time she took her attention from the man in the park she thanked the waitress and when she looked back out the window he was gone.

Castiel began the half block walk towards the womans car. His head and his stomach were beginning to feel as if they were at war. He couldn't decide which was bothering him more and now he had developed and strange sensation of movement to go with the fuzzy feeling in his head. He thought that he may be dizzy as it sure felt the same as had heard it described. He finally made it to the parking lot just as it started to rain again. He was careful to step around the puddles as his feet were all ready aching he did not want to know how they would react to cold and wet.

Maggie paid for her food and left the diner heading pack to the parking lot and her car. Her mind was still focused on the stranger in the park, even though it seemed he was now gone. As she rounded the corner to the parking lot she could see the man had not gone, he was actually leaning on the store wall near where she had parked. She slowed down at first, not sure what to do, he was ,after all, a stranger and looked like he was in rough shape. She was closer now, she could see his clothing didn't look old, just dirty like he had worn them a few days in a row. The way he was leaning he looked almost ill. She decided to keep going and approach him to see if he was okay, what did she have to lose anyway.

Castiel could see the woman coming toward him he new he should say something but his mind was not working well most of his thoughts were running together, he was vaguely aware that his face and body were becoming very wet. More than just from the rain he thought maybe he was sweating as he has seen humans do so often, He hoped not. Just then the woman spoke to him.

Maggie approached the stranger, she could see he really was not well, he was pale and his face dripping sweat and eyes glassy. "Are you ok? You don't look well, I think you should sit down"

Castiel started to step away from the wall to greet the woman but something was wrong, His foot hit against something everything turned upside down and then went black.

As the man moved from the wall to answer Maggie His foot connected with a large rock and he fell forward straight down like a tree. Although she did her best to slow his fall he still landed face first in the largest puddle in the parking lot.