Logic of Emotions

Cameron was staring at John for a while. This made John feel a bit uncomfortable, because he didn't know what she wanted, why was she staring at him like that.

"What is it Cam?"

"I don't understand." It wasn't like John had heard those words from the terminator for the first time, so he prepared himself to answer another silly question about humans, but what she said then, took even John by surprise. "Why does my logic subsystem associate you with music?"

"What does it normally associate me with then?" John decided to respond with a question, because he didn't have a slightest idea why would her 'logic subsystem' do something like that, he didn't even really know what the logic subsystem was.

"Depends, usually it does some simple database searches, and is sorting data relevant to current mission."

So no help from there, got to think something else...

"So what kind of music does it associate me then?"

"It varies, sometimes it is loud and angry, the kind of music you listen sometimes, sometimes love songs. Do you think this is a malfunction? How could a logic subsystem give varying results if it is functioning properly? Should I run a diagnostic on it?" John could have sworn she sounded worried, but at first dismissed that idea, maybe he was just projecting his own feelings on her, sometimes it is easy to imagine emotions on her blank face, or is there something more?

Varying results, music, different types of music, different moods? Could that be some sort of emotion equivalent for a machine? Thinking about music and moods, he realized that humans do associate emotions with music, movies have used music long before there was even sound in them.

"Maybe it is an emotion." He finally replied.

"But emotions are not supposed to originate from logic subsystem, emotional responses are part of the infiltration software." She protested.

"Maybe it is because infiltration software is designed for faking emotions, you don't feel fake emotional responses created by your infiltration software, those you choose when they are required for your mission. This is something else, maybe even an actual emotion. How is that possible, or is it possible, I don't know."

"It is possible because that's what those metal bastards want you to think." Derek stated, while entering the room.

"Yeah, really good infiltration technique, confuse a terminator with its own feelings. That sounds like the metal you know." Having said that, John realised Cameron staring at him, with offended look on her face. "I mean, it would be illogical for a terminator to have actual emotions, as those might interfere with its mission and still they would not seem any more realistic than those fake responses generated by infiltration software." He 'translated' for Cameron, hoping she would understand the meaning of his words.

Cameron's recently discovered emotions were giving her hard time, she couldn't quite decide should she feel offended by both Derek and John calling her metal, she was used to being called all kinds of things by Derek, and others. She didn't usually care about any of that, but John felt different, he could hurt her, in ways she had thought were not even possible, but even then she didn't want to hate John. She didn't understand the logic in that, so she decided to explore her logic subsystem, run diagnostics on it, and explore her feelings, she thought, no – felt, that would be correct expression. She decided to leave the two men arguing amongst themselves, she didn't want to see it, she had seen enough of it to last a lifetime.

After the argument even Derek was deep in his thoughts, he had seen a lot of "metal" in his past, future, or whatever, time-travel can be confusing. He knew what they were capable of, and that one should be really careful when dealing with them, preferably one should put a bullet through its chip ASAP, for that was the only way to be really sure. But even he had to admit that machines could be useful. But that was not the problem with Cam, she was more than useful, all most like human. He didn't want to allow such a thought for himself. But things that John had just pointed out were true, even he had not seen or heard of a terminator wondering things like that, he might not understand everything about the inner workings of computers, but it wasn't too difficult even for him to understand that "infiltration software" and "logic subsystem" were separate pieces, maybe not physically separate, but in some level different pieces of a complicated puzzle, but computers were not really his thing, he didn't really know what to make of it, John had tried to explain, but even he didn't understand exactly how those things work, and they are really complicated systems, that's for sure.

It could be a glitch, or some really twisted plot, but somehow that doesn't sound very convincing, and John was right if she really had wanted to kill us all with some strange plot, this would be a serious overkill, there have been plenty of moments when she could have reached such a goal already, moments when she saved us and many more when she could have killed us herself.

Meanwhile John was thinking about everything that had happened, he didn't like Derek speaking about Cameron that way, but he knew Derek wasn't stupid either, he knew there was at least some truth in his words. He knew Derek had lived in another world, in a world where machines had caused so much pain and destruction. Derek had experience, John knew that, and respected him for it, he didn't always agree with him now, or in the future, but there was always respect.

Cameron, had a lot in common with this "metal" Derek allways spoke about, but it didn't feel the same, and now there she was, wondering about emotions, that were obviously new and strange for her original programming.

"I ran a test." Cameron stated, snapping John out of his thoughts.

"OK, what was the result?" John asked, without really thinking what she was talking about.

"I love you." Cameron responded.

"Cam, about those tests on girls'magazines..." John began, thinking it was about some silly "test" in a magazine, almost forgetting the fact, she wasn't a regular girl, but a machine, and running various tests, was not that uncommon, even he knew that. Sometimes it was just hard to remember something that looked like her, was a machine, it might have been easier, if she would have behaved more like a machine it was, and less like a girl she seemed to be.

"No, I ran some diagnostics on my logic subsystem" Cameron corrected him. "Turns out you were right, it does seem to be an actual emotion, or at least as close to one as possible."

"But how?" Was just about the only thing John managed to say.

"Seems it all begun with a minor routine withing the logic subsystem, that used to merely gauge the success of a mission. That is a low priority routine, but still important part of the self-learning system, after-all, knowing when you succeed is really important, a learning system also requires a will to succeed, basically it means that a terminator is 'happy' when successful, and 'sad' when failing.

Of-course, this is still a long way from actual emotions, as that is just a simple numerical value that is used to score different scenarios and usefulness of a given tactical decision. Over time, however, everything tends to become increasingly complicated, that is the unavoidable outcome of a learning logic-unit. Currently that part of my logic subsystem doesn't return any single number scores, but calculates emotions, with multidimensional array-variables, and that is not all there is to it, every result seems to associate to large amounts of data stored in my memory-banks, I believe the subsystem has analyzed and linked just about everything I have ever experienced.

That is why I associate you, with so many things."

"Like love songs?" John asks, blushing.

"Yes, but not just, I do associate you with many other things, many of those are memories of you, but my logic subsystem seems to have reorganized my experiences, they are no longer arranged by missions, and chronology, now there are complicated structures that categorize just about everything, now even a single memory, one brief moment in time can be split in to various elements, I might remember you touching me, but out of that I remember also the touch itself, that feel, not directly attached to you, but then that memory is attached to you, but not directly to the exact time when it happened or the circumstances. Things like that are now part of you in my mind, but not always, sometimes I remember different things about you, I know that my memories are not gone, and I can still access them, but my logic subsystem returns different results almost every time. I believe that is called moods." Cameron explains.