A/N: I realized that this month marked the tenth anniversary since I started writing Shannon in the Cartwright world. So many words! Anyway, this was a complicated episode. It really shows Ben and Joe's connection with each other. It is not one of my favorite episodes, but I didn't want to skip it. Shannon has a lot of pre-teen attitude in this one and her moods flip a lot. I hope you enjoy! All recognizable dialogue is taken from the episode.

"You're scowling," Amy said, dropping onto the ground beside her. "Shakespeare?"

"Shakespeare doesn't make me frown." Shannon closed the book she had been reading. "And no, it's not Shakespeare. Adam thought I would like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, so that's what I'm reading."

Amy wrinkled her nose. "Frankenstein? I haven't heard of that one. What is it about?"

"It is about a scientist who creates a sentient creature," Shannon said. She still wasn't sure why Adam thought she would like it. The story was odd and she didn't much care for Dr. Frankenstien. "It's nothing like Shakespeare or Jane Austen, that's for sure."

Humming, Amy leaned back, clearly losing interest in the book. "Are he and your pa still in San Francisco?"

"Yeah." Having her pa away from home was a disappointment. Having Adam away was the only thing she was happy about. Her brother acted like he was her father far too often for her to be happy with. Just because he was the oldest didn't mean he was in charge but that's what he did. Every time their pa wasn't around, he took over.

It was annoying and Shannon was tired of it. As much as she loved Adam, she completely understood why Joe butted heads with him all the time.

"You're still scowling. What's wrong?" Amy asked, poking Shannon's arm.

Shaking her head, Shannon said, "Nothing. Just remembering something Adam did before he left."

Amy laughed. "Whatever it was must have been really annoying because you looked like you wanted to throw that book at something. But I think I can understand. Older siblings are ever so annoying, aren't they? They think they can dictate to us just because they are older and they think they know all there is to know about life."

Setting her book on the grass beside her, Shannon considered. Amy's sister was only a few years older than Amy, so she supposed Amy would understand the feeling even more. Adam was old enough to be Shannon's father, which is why he acted like it sometimes.

It didn't make it any less annoying.

"Do you think if your pa becomes a governor, you'll leave Virginia City?"

Shannon had heard the rumors. Everyone said it was inevitable. Some thought it the perfect solution; others complained that it was just the high and mighty Cartwrights trying to take over everything possible. For the lone Cartwright girl, it was all annoying and boring and confusing.

Ben Cartwright was going to run for governor of Nevada.

If, as everyone's intentions worked out the way they wanted, the territory became a state. And a state needed a governor.

The news would have been impossible to ignore since it was all anyone would talk about. And whatever the adults were talking about, their children would soon be parroting on the schoolyard. Disagreements among the boys would come to blows and the girls would give each other the cold shoulder.

Everything about it was extremely tiresome. Especially since several assumed she would try to lord it over them and were already avoiding her. Except for the boys. They seemed to still enjoy teasing her, but they even hesitated at times.

Why did her pa even want to be governor? Wouldn't it involve being in a large city and away from the Ponderosa? What was the point of building up a ranch only to then abandon it to make laws and run the state...if Nevada went from a territory to a state?

"I don't know what will happen if Pa becomes governor," Shannon said honestly. "I guess we'd have to leave because the governor will have to be at the state capital, won't he? What are the odds Virginia City would get that honor? And I'd have to go with him because he's my pa and where he goes, I have to go."

Amy wrinkled her nose. "I suppose that's true. Well, I hope it doesn't happen at all. I mean, it would be interesting to say I know the governor's daughter, but not if it means you would have to leave. Let them find someone else."

Smiling, Shannon bumped her friend with her shoulder. "I feel the same way, but my pa seems intrigued and set on the idea. Adam is on board. Hoss and Joe couldn't be prouder. And me...I would rather we not have anything to do with the whole thing, but how can I protest when everyone else is so excited about it?"

"No one listens to what kids have to say about anything, even when it's important," Amy said with a sigh. "Do you think your brothers will let you sleepover this Friday?"

Shannon thought before she answered. Pa and Adam had left Hoss in charge, and Hoss wouldn't have any objection to the plan. At least, she was sure he wouldn't. Not unless Pa had left orders that Shannon wasn't supposed to stay in town.

Or would Adam have been the one to leave such instruction?

"I'll have to let you know," she finally said. "I think I could, but I have to ask first."

Amy gave an exaggerated frown. "Well, then, I guess I should just give you this now," she said, reaching for her schoolbooks. From among the books, she pulled out something that was folded. "I thought we might learn it together, but you're better with music than I am, so here."

"You folded up sheet music?" Shannon asked in horror as she took the offering from her friend.

"It's paper," Amy said dismissively. "It's fine."

Biting her lip to keep from expressing her revulsion at such treatment of music, Shannon unfolded the paper. "Stephen Foster," she read with interest. "I like his music."
"I thought you did," Amy said with satisfaction. "My ma has had it for several years, but she never plays it. She probably won't even miss it."

Reading the notes, Shannon began to hum the melody. If Adam had been home, she would have gone straight to him to play it on his guitar. But with no piano nearby, she made do with what she had.

"I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair/borne, like a vapor, on the summer air;" Amy sang the first two lines and then broke off. "Is that your brother?" she asked, her tone astonished.

Startled, Shannon lifted her gaze. Sure enough, Joe was coming towards her. He had his hat in his hand and was rubbing his face. His vest was askew and he didn't seem steady as he led Cochise. Even from a distance, all the clues pointed to her brother had been fighting.

Heaving a sigh, Shannon slipped the sheet music among her books –unfolded so that it would have a chance to become a little bit uncreased–and stood up. "Joe, what happened?" she asked. She had a guess; after all, it wouldn't be the first time her hot-headed brother had gone into a saloon only to come out because of a disagreement with someone else.

"Nothing," Joe said as he came to a stop. His left eye was already swollen shut. "At least, nothing that won't get straightened out soon enough. Let's go home."

Raising her eyebrow, Shannon murmured goodbye to her friend and mounted Star. She waited until she and Joe were well on their way back to the

Ponderosa before she asked, "Did you give the Territorial Enterprise all the information they need for their article about Pa?"

Joe's scowl looked even more fierce with his black eye. "I did, but I don't know if they're going to run the story after what that stranger said in the newspaper office."

"What stranger?" Shannon asked, unable to keep her heart from skipping a beat. The last stranger who had come through with an interest in their family hadn't gone well. "What did he say?"

There was a pause, and for a moment, she thought her brother wasn't going to answer. "He said Pa was a murderer."

It wasn't until they were at home that Joe explained what had happened in town. Inspector Charles Leduque of the New Orleans Police Department had come into town looking for Ben Cartwright. Even once Joe had told all he knew nothing about the accusation made any sense.

"He wouldn't tell me the story," Joe said, his tone resentful. He poked at the steak on his plate. "All he would say was that it was an ugly story and that he'd come two thousand miles and twenty years for Pa. He said Pa should stay out of politics because Leduque has plans."

"Maybe it's just a misunderstanding," the largest Cartwright suggested, his tone calm. "Sometimes we've killed when there was no other option. There's some that would call that murder."

"I don't think it's as simple as that," Joe argued. "A person doesn't travel across the country for a misunderstanding."

"They might," Shannon said, snatching up one of the rolls before Hoss could get it. "If they didn't know it was a misunderstanding."

"Well, he has to be lying," Joe said stubbornly. "Pa isn't a murderer. Not by any definition of the word. Leduque has no right to come into town and start spreading rumors. You know people will start to believe."

"Not our friends. Now you know Pa and Adam should be back soon," Hoss said, cutting off whatever argument Joe would have made. "We'll tell them all about this when they get here. Pa might know what this is all about, and he'll know what to do with this stranger."

Joe scowled and didn't look at all pleased with the suggestion. But he didn't protest when Hoss changed the conversation to a report on how things were going in the North pasture. One of the drainage ditches had collapsed, so it was taking some digging to solve the problem.

Once the meal of steak and potatoes was done, Joe went out to check some of the new horses that had been brought for breaking Shannon curled up in front of the fireplace with her book. "Hoss, where do you think the capital of Nevada will be if the territory becomes a state?"

Sitting opposite her, Hoss was cleaning his rifle. "I suppose Carson City, maybe Silver City," he said, glancing at her. "Why do you ask?"

"Amy asked me if we would leave Virginia City since a governor has to live in the capital, right?"

"That sounds about right."

"Well, what will happen to the Ponderosa if that happens?" Shannon asked. "After all, Pa's says all the time that there's always work to do. How would everything get done if we're in Carson City?"

Hoss shook his head. "Same way it gets done whenever one of us goes away. I reckon I'll be able to take care of everything."

"By yourself?"

"Well, Jud and all the other hands will still be here." Hoss continued with his work. "The way I figure it, Adam and Joe will both want to be at the center of things in Carson City. Joe because he likes to be in the middle of things and Adam because he likes bigger cities. And you'll go with Pa. It's not that far if you really think about it."

Biting back a comment that Carson City wasn't that much bigger than Virginia City, Shannon shook her head. "It's far enough. I don't like the idea of us being split up like that. Everything is better when we're together."

"It will happen sooner or later, Shan," Hoss said gently. "Think of the times Adam and Joe have almost married. Pa might marry and his new bride might not want a houseful of men."

Pursing her lips, Shannon pulled out the sheet music Amy had given her. "I still don't have to like it."

"True, but you might want to see your way to getting used to the idea. You don't expect to stay on the Ponderosa forever, do you? One day you'll probably meet some cowboy who will sweep you off your feet and marry you."

The idea made Shannon wrinkle her nose. "And we don't know if Nevada will become a state or if Pa will even be elected governor if that does happen," Hoss continued before she could protest. "Why don't we worry about what will happen then when it actually happens?"

Sighing, Shannon nodded and turned her attention to the sheet music. She hummed the first few notes, and then let her gaze move across the lyrics. Why were so many songs about love and loss? Because it was something everyone could relate to?

"What's that, Shan?" her brother asked.

"Amy found some sheet music for a song she thought I would like," Shannon explained. "I've never heard of it before. Jeanie With the Light Brown Hair."

"Cain't say that I've ever heard that one either. How does it go?"

After reading the notes, Shannon hummed the melody to get a feel for how it sounded. Then, she began to sing:

I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair

Borne, like a vapor, on the summer air;

I see her tripping where the bright streams play

Happy as the daisies that dance on her way

Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour

Many were the blithe birds that warbled them o'er:

Oh! I dream of Jeanie with the light brown hair

Floating, like a vapor, on the soft summer air

I long for Jeanie with the day dawn smile

Radiant in gladness, warm with winning guile;

I hear her melodies, like joys gone by

Sighing round my heart o'er the fond hopes that die:—

Sighing like the night wind and sobbing like the rain,—

Wailing for the lost one that comes not again:

Oh! I long for Jeanie, and my heart bows low

Nevermore to find her where the bright waters flow

I sigh for Jeanie, but her light form strayed

Far from the fond hearts round her native glade;

Her smiles have vanished and her sweet songs flown

Flitting like the dreams that have cheered us and gone

Now the nodding wildflowers may wither on the shore

While her gentle fingers will cull them no more:

Oh! I sigh for Jeanie with the light brown hair

Floating, like a vapor, on the soft summer air

Once she was finished, Shannon looked expectantly at her brother. Hoss gave a nod. "I like it, Shan. It's real pretty," he said. "It sounds like something Adam will like too. You'll have to show him."

As much as Shannon wanted to have something that Adam didn't know, she wasn't entirely confident he wouldn't know this song. After all, he'd traveled and gone to college. He could have heard the song a hundred different places.

"Maybe," she said dismissively. "Do you think Pa and Adam will come home tomorrow?"

"I imagine so," Hoss aid, examining his rifle one last time. "If only to reassure Joe and keep him from doing something rash, I hope Pa does come back. That brother of ours has a talent for getting himself in trouble."

"I think we all have that talent," Shannon said, thinking of all the different times every member of the family had been in trouble.

Hoss chuckled. "True enough," he said. "It may just be part of being a Cartwright. Pa's never talked about his family. I wonder if they've had all the trouble we have."

Now that was something Shannon had never thought about before. Where was their Pa's family? He'd been the first mate on a ship before he married Adam's mother but Shannon hadn't heard her Pa even mention his family or early childhood.

"Maybe that's why there are not very many Cartwrights in the world," Hoss added.

"Are there other Cartwrights?"

"I know Pa has a brother back east who has at least one son. It's not something Pa talks about much."

Humming, Shannon sat back. She didn't know much about her mother's family, besides that her aunt was evil and her grandfather had been uncaring. Were there some of those traits in the Cartwright family somewhere? If she asked, she wondered if her father would tell her something about his family.

Joe came back into the house then. "What are you talking about?"

"Pa's family and whether he has any," Hoss answered.

Shrugging his jacket off, Joe shook his head. "If Pa does become governor, it wouldn't surprise me if we suddenly had every kind of family imaginable descend on us wanting to have some part in Pa's sudden importance. It'll be bad enough to have the whole town our friend again."

"I thought you were proud of Pa," Shannon said, twisting around on the couch to look at him.

"I can be proud of Pa and think it ridiculous everyone's enthusiasm at the same time," Joe said, tossing his gun belt on the sideboard. He came over to the couch and tapped Shannon's nose. "Look what the article in the newspaper brought with this Inspector Leduque?"
"Joe, we don't know if the man means any harm or not," Hoss said, his tone chiding.

"Sure. He came all this way to accuse Pa of murder and he doesn't mean any harm." Joe made his way over to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. "Maybe I should go back and try to make him tell me what he's doing.

That was definitely something Pa wouldn't have liked. Shannon noted it away, just in case it became useful later on.

"There's no call to stir up trouble, Little Joe," Hoss said, his tone reproving. "It won't be long until Pa and Adam are back. Let Pa worry about what this Inspector Leduque has to say."

Joe muttered something unintelligible before downing his drink. "Pa's not going to be happy to come back from Silver City to this, even if it is a lie," he said, refilling his glass.

"What Pa isn't going to be happy about is you emptying that decanter," Hoss told him.

Defiantly, Joe carried his glass to the fireplace. "I think it would be better to get the truth and get that man out of town."

"You've already got a black eye out the situation," Hoss said, standing up. He carried the rifle to the gun case and said over his shoulder, "Maybe you think your honor needs defending, but Pa will be angry if you end up in jail because you started a fight."

"I wonder what Pa and Adam are doing in Silver City right now," Shannon said, letting her eyes drift to the grandfather clock. It was nearing eight o'clock. If Adam or her pa were home, they'd be sending her on her way to bed at about this time.

"They're probably chatting with all the important political men in the territory. And shouldn't you be getting to bed?" Joe asked as if he had read her mind.

"No."

"Yes, she should," Hoss said, turning away from the gun case. "Shan, you know what Pa and Adam would say if they were here."

When had Adam become her second parent? Whenever it had happened, it was an unwelcome development. Groaning, Shannon dragged herself off the couch. "It's not fair. Why can't I stay up just this once? I never get to and Adam doesn't need to know if we don't tell him."

Joe let out a laugh at that. "Oh, that won't matter," he said. "Somehow, Ol' Granite Head always finds out things like that, Shannon. He has a strange sense for it. I should know. I tried everything when I was your age."

"Well, I still have a chance then because I'm a girl and everyone knows we're smarter," Shannon fired back.

Setting down his glass, Joe charged at her and scooped her off her feet. "Smarter, huh?" he challenged, holding her over his shoulder. "What are you going to do now, Miss Smarty-pants?"

"Joe, put me down!" Shannon shrieked, kicking her feet. It wasn't often Joe would tease her like this, and she wasn't sure just how serious he was. "Hoss! Hoss, help me!"

"Choose your side, Hoss!" Joe declared. "Are you with me or are you with her?"
"Put me down! Hoss! Help me!" the blood rushing to her head was making her dizzy.

Hoss shook his head. "I know better than to rush into that kind of fight. You're going to have to get yourself out of this fix."

"I'm going to carry you to bed so the grownups can talk," Joe declared as he moved toward the staircase.

Nothing annoyed Shannon more than being reminded she was still young and everyone else in her family were grown-up enough for the serious discussions. Ruthlessly, she poked Joe as hard as she could in the ribs. Yelping, he twisted, trying to escape her finger and they ended up toppling on the staircase.

"Whoa," Hoss exclaimed. "Are you two alright?"

"Yeah," Joe said wryly as he sat up. "I didn't realize our sister knew how to fight dirty."

"You could have asked politely for me to go upstairs and I would have gone," Shannon said with as much dignity as she could muster. Nevermind that she probably would have tried to say "no" first even if he had asked nicely. She untangled herself from her brother and rubbed where her arm had hit the wood. "I don't know what else you have to talk about that I can't here."

"Yeah, I don't believe that, and it doesn't matter what I want to talk to Hoss about."

Shannon stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm going to bed because I want to, not because you told me to go," she told him, ignoring how childish she sounded.

"Good night, Shannon," Hoss said, his tone amused.

When she reached the top, Shannon paused for several seconds. Neither of her brothers spoke. Huffing, she continued on to her room. She closed it firmly with herself still in the hallway and then tiptoed back.

Her efforts to remain undetected were for nothing. All she heard was Hoss telling Joe he'd had enough to drink. Joe, of course, disagreed. After five minutes, neither of them said anything interesting.

Holding back a sigh, Shannon crept back to her room.

Though she knew she should be focusing on the math problems on the board, Shannon found herself staring out the window instead. Even with all the help Adam had given her and the extra time she spent on it, she always felt like she was in over her head. She didn't think there was ever going to be a time when she actually liked the subject, no matter how essential everyone said it would be for life.

The hours had passed by so slow. When would the watch Miss Jones kept on her desk turn to three o'clock so they could finally leave? Shannon knew the longer she was away from home, the more she would miss if her pa got home and Joe told him what had happened.

Not knowing what was happening was the most frustrating part of her life.

The door of the school opened and everyone twisted around to look. "Pardon the interruption, Miss Jones" Ben Cartwright said as he stepped in. "I know it is early but I was hoping I could take Shannon home."

Holding her breath and hoping her teacher wouldn't have an objection, Shannon glanced at her teacher. She didn't have anything to worry about. "Of course, of course, Mr. Cartwright," Miss Jones said enthusiastically. "In fact, I think we all can be finished now. It's not too far off from our usual dismissal time."

The whole room exclaimed in delight. Swiftly, Shannon grabbed her books and slate. She whispered a good-bye to Amy and slipped from her seat. She hurried to the door.

She waited until she was outside the schoolhouse to say, "Welcome back, Pa. It felt like you were gone forever."

"Don't expect to get out of school like this often," Ben said before smiling at her. He swept his daughter off her feet and hugged her tightly. "It's good to be back. I missed you."

"I missed you too." Looking over her pa's shoulder, she spotted the buggy where Adam was waiting. It was strange to see a buggy and not on their usual mounts. "Why are you getting me early?"

"As Miss Jones said, it was almost the end of the school day anyway," Ben said, setting her down. "And it saves Joe or Hoss from having to make the trip themselves."

Quickly, Shannon saddled Star. The rest of her classmates were streaming out of the schoolhouse. She considered asking if she could ride in the buggy to be closer to her pa, but the buggy was small. She settled for riding beside the buggy.

"How was Silver City?" she asked. "Did you meet all the people you wanted to meet?"

"We did and then some," Adam answered first. Shannon glared at him but he didn't seem to notice. "Everyone we talked to was supportive. I think we have a good chance."

The ride felt as long as school had been with Ben and Adam discussing things that had happened while they were away. "Well, meet the new governor!" Adam announced cheerfully as he drove the buggy into the yard.

"Hey, you've arrived," Hoss responded, waving.

With a chuckle, Ben Cartwright climbed out of the buggy. "There's nothing to celebrate yet," he said. He clapped his two younger sons on the arms. "Not until Nevada becomes a state."

"Technicalities, technicalities, Pa," Adam said. Hoss took charge of their pa's single bag. One of the hands came up to take charge of the horse and buggy.

Shannon dismounted and handed the reins to Judd. She trailed along behind the rest of her family. Joe hadn't said a word yet and his silence was noticed immediately.

"What's the matter with Joe?" Ben asked, slipping his jacket off.

"Well, Pa, you've had a long ride," Hoss said. "Why don't you go on up and get into some fresh clothes and have something to eat, and then we'll talk about it later."
Without a pause, Ben agreed to the suggestion. "Sounds good," he said while Adam raised an eyebrow.

Not sure whether she was glad to have the subject put off or disappointed she'd have to wait, Shannon leaned against the settee. "Pa," Joe blurted out. He came forward, and continued in a serious tone, "I don't think this can wait."

"What?" Ben asked in concern.

"There were a couple of strangers in town this week," Joe told him. "They came into the Territorial Enterprise, made a few remarks about you that I didn't like."
Ben gave a slight chuckle and shook his head. "Well, I imagine there's quite a few people. Well, what kind of remarks?"

"First I better tell you who they are. They say they're on the New Orleans police force. One of them is an inspector. His name's Leduque."

With every word, Ben's face lost all trace of joviality. "Leduque," he repeated in a dull tone of voice. "Charles Leduque?"

Joe's shoulders sagged. "Then you know him."

Ben Cartwright's shoulders rose and fell with a sigh. "Is he at the hotel?"

"Yeah."

"Saddle my horse." Ben turned on his heel and marched for the stairs.

The Cartwright siblings exchanged looks. "Well, that certainly changed the mood," Adam commented. He raised an eyebrow at Joe. "Pa may not have noticed the shiner, but I do. I take it you took exception to these remarks made by this Leduque?"

"I said I didn't like his remarks," Joe said, his tone annoyed.

Hoss cleared his throat. "I best go get Buck saddled for Pa."

Shannon remained where she was. Adam crossed his arms. "What, exactly, were those remarks, Joe?"

"He came into the Territorial Enterprise and said he had business with Pa/ Urgent business. Then, he said that Pa had no future. When I asked what he meant by that, he just said to have Pa come to the hotel when he got back. I tried to question him some more but I got this shiner for my trouble."

"But then Joe went to the hotel," Shannon chimed in.

Joe glared at her. "I was getting to that. I wanted to get an apology from the man who hit me."

"Mhm," Adam said, sounding unconvinced. "And what did you learn at the hotel?"

"Leduque wouldn't tell me anything," Joe said, his tone annoyed. "He said he wanted to spare me an ugly story and that he used to be friends with my mother. He wanted me to tell Pa to stay out of politics because he had plans. He did say the charge was murder."

Adam's gaze flicked to the stairs their pa had just gone up. "I see."

"Well, then maybe you can make it clear to the rest of us because we most definitely don't see."

Footsteps on the steps sounded. Face set like stone, Ben came down the stairs. He didn't say a word to the trio in the living room, and went straight to the front door and then out.

"You can't say it isn't nothing," Joe said as the front door slammed shut.

"I wasn't going to say that," Adam said, his tone mild. "I don't think I'm the one to give you answers, Joe. I only have suspicions myself from things I heard twenty years ago."

"Well, tell me that."

However, Adam just shook his head. "Let's just wait until Pa gets back."

Hop-Sing hurried into the room. "Hot water ready," he announced. "Why honorable father leave? Hop-Sing always work! Always wasted. No one appreciates Hop-Sing."

"Hot water sounds perfect right about now, Hop-Sing," Adam said quickly. He sent a wry smile at Joe. "See, Joe? I don't have time to go into decades-old gossip and speculation. Someone needs to appease Hop-Sing's injured pride."

He moved for the bunkhouse. Joe ran a hand through his head and muttered a word Shannon was sure the rest of the family would disapprove of. But if Adam heard, he didn't pause to chide Joe so Shannon decided he must not have heard.

"Are you really that worried?" she asked.

With a start, Joe spun around. "Shannon, I didn't realize you were still in here."

"Uh-huh. In case you're wondering, I did hear you just now" Shannon said, crossing her arms. Joe sputtered for a moment and she decided to take pity on her brother. "I'm not going to tell."

"And what am I going to have to do in return?"

She shrugged. "Nothing."

Joe eyed her for all of a minute before shaking his head. "I don't even care if you do or not," he said, walking to the settee. He flopped down and rubbed the side of his head.

"You didn't answer my question," Shannon said, watching him. "Do you think Pa's in some kind of trouble?"

"You didn't hear this Leduque person, Shan," Joe answered, dropping his hand. "He said he has plans for Pa. I don't think I've ever heard so much hate in a person's voice before."

Frowning, Shannon sat on the arm of the settee. She had heard hatred before, had even had it directed at her. As impetuous and rash as Joe could be, she decided he knew what he was talking about this time.

"What do you think Pa will do?"

Shrugging, Joe said, "I don't know. I don't think there's anything he could do that this Leduque would accept unless it was exactly what he wants."

It took Shannon a moment to unravel Joe's complicated sentence. What kind of plans could Leduque have that Ben would have to play along? "So you think things are going to get worse."

"I hope not and I don't know how they would, but I expect they will."

An air of unease had settled on the Ponderosa. Shannon ignored her homework in favor of playing with her cat. The sun was dipping low in the sky when her pa returned to the ranch. He walked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

And then, he just handed a new edition of the newspaper to Adam.

"'But for personal reasons, I hereby withdraw my name from consideration as a possible candidate for the state of Nevada,'" Adam read aloud from the newspaper. He lowered the paper. "But Pa, there was no reason to withdraw. Not yet."

Stunned, Shannon blinked. Her pa had withdrawn his name? After so many weeks of that being all that was talked about? What had that Leduque said or done to make this happen?

"I didn't want to, Adam," Ben said seriously. "Believe me, I didn't want to."

"Why, then, Pa?" Hoss asked, sounding just as confused as Shannon felt.

"You just can't leave your friends out on a limb waiting to be sawed off," Ben said as Hop-Sing brought in a pot of tea.

"Your friends would have stuck by you," Adam said.

Shannon resisted the urge to roll her eyes at that. Their "friends" had betrayed them and not stood beside them before. Ben turned from where he had been staring at the fire. "You mean they would have been dragged down with me. On a political campaign, if there's just one weak spot, one breath of scandal, your opponents find it and use it to destroy you."

There was a bleakness to her father's tone that Shannon didn't hear often. "But Pa, if you were cleared of them charges," Hoss said in clear confusion.

"If! It would take weeks to get word back from New Orleans. If I remained a political candidate all that time, our names would be dragged through every pigsty in the state."

"Pa, you're not telling us everything," Joe spoke up for the first time. "It's not like you to run out of New Orleans. Not without the trial.

Ben gave a sad sad shake of his head as he sighed. "The only thing I've kept from you, isn't it?"
Now that, Shannon sincerely disagreed with. There had been plenty of things kept a secret, and sometimes for good reason. "It's one thing you can still keep if you want to," Adam said.

"No. It's been too long already." He paused as if to gather his thoughts. "Truth is something that always comes back at you, isn't it? Joe, I've told you a great deal about your mother. You never really knew her. She was a wonderful woman. Beautiful. Slender. Delicate. Gentle. Treated Adam and Hoss like they were her own."

While he talked, Ben put his hand on Joe's shoulder. Though Hoss nodded, Shannon noticed that Adam dropped his gaze. Did he not agree?

"She was like an angel to everyone that ever came into contact with her," Ben continued, moving away from Joe. He hesitated. "Then this man, this LaRoche—Simon LaRoche—came into our lives. The man I killed."

"Why'd you have to kill him?" Adam asked.

Ben moved back to Joe's side. Was the telling making him restless, or was it the memory? "Your mother came from a certain notorious section of New Orleans. A section the sailors called the Flats."

"Pa, what difference does it make where she came from?" Joe asked, looking up at his father.

"No difference. No difference. Not to me. But to a man like LaRoche, it presented an opportunity to cash in on her past by threatening to destroy her reputation."

Joe rose from where he had been sitting. "Threatening her with what?"

If anything, Ben's face took on an even more pained expression. "He blackmailed her to keep her past a secret." He wasn't looking at Joe at all now.

"To keep what secret?" Joe pressed.

"Joe, I—"

"What secret?" This time, Joe's voice rose with insistence.

"Joseph, I-I don't—"

"To keep what secret?" Joe shouted.

Flinching, Shannon sunk down in her chair. The conversation had taken a turn she didn't like. Her brothers' mothers seldom came up into conversation on a normal day. Honestly, she was surprised none of the family had tried to send her to her room yet.

"What your mother did or did not do before I met her is of no importance." There was a note of steel in Ben's voice now and he turned his gaze back to Joe. "I loved her and I married her. And she was a wonderful person."

His voice had softened to a whisper. There was a pause and then Ben continued, "But your mother was afraid of scandal. Not for her sake but for mine. For Hoss' and Adam's. So she... She paid LaRoche. She paid him.

"Until I found out about it. I went to see him. We talked, got into an argument. A fight. He pulled a knife. I killed him. In self-defense, but I killed him."

Hoss's expression was sad and serious. Shannon wished she was sitting next to him. Adam's expression hadn't changed much in the telling, and the girl wondered how much of this he had guessed already.

"I felt I couldn't stand trial because then everything your mother wanted to forget would have come out."

"As it comes out now," Adam said. "Twenty years later."

"Yes," Ben said with a slight nod. "That's why I feel if maybe I go to New Orleans I can put a stop to it."

A chill went down Shannon's spine. This was no quick trip to Silver City. A trip to New Orleans could take weeks or longer if there was trouble proving her pa's innocence in a twenty-year-old murder.
"There's another way," Joe said with determination. He turned and walked to the credenza.

"Joseph," Ben said, striding after him.

"Pa, let me go," Joe said, strapping on his gun belt.

"Not in the mood you're in." Ben put his hand on his youngest son's shoulder. "Now remember, Leduque is doing his duty. I want you to promise me that you'll do no harm to him of any nature."

But Joe didn't promise. He turned away and grabbed his hat. "I'm going to go out for a while."

Hoss stood up. "I'll go with you, Little Joe."

"I'd rather go by myself."

Ben held his youngest son by the shoulders. "Joe."

Joe finally looked up. Any trace of anger was gone and all that remained was grief. "I p—I promise," he said, his voice breaking. He pulled free of his father's hands and moved to the door, his head hanging.

With a sigh, Ben closed the front door. "It's not your fault, Pa," Adam said as if he guessed what their father was thinking.

"I shouldn't have kept it from him or you for so long," Ben said, his voice heavy. "Perhaps he wouldn't have taken it so hard. I'd hoped to respect Marie's wishes on the matter, but I'm not so sure it was the right thing to do."

"I don't think it would have mattered when you told him,"

"Where is Joe going?" Shannon asked, breaking her silence. She wasn't sure why no one had gone after Joe. Heaven knew, no one left her alone when she was upset and Joe's impetuous nature was a well-established fact.

Her voice made the men in the room start and they all turned toward her. Her suspicion that they had forgotten about her seemed to be proven. "I reckon he's going where he always goes when he needs to think something over," Hoss said. "He'll be back."

Frowning, Shannon tried to think of where that could be. Adam shook his head. "I suppose Joe hasn't taken you out there," he said, seeing the confusion on her face. "His mother is buried by Lake Tahoe."

Stunned, Shannon sat back. She had been on the Ponderosa for how long? How could she have not learned this earlier? There had been so many times Joe had gone off alone, and she's assumed he went somewhere on the ranch to be alone. It was a big ranch, so there were a lot of lonely places. It seemed she still had a lot to learn about her family.

Adam turned back to "Pa, do you really think he's going to just go to the lake?"

"He gave his word he would do no harm," Ben said, his tone heavy with emotion. "I have to trust he will keep it."

"Do you think LeDuque will be satisfied with this?" Adam asked, lifting up the newspaper. "Or have you just played into his hands?"

"I don't know, Adam." Ben shook his head. "I suppose we will have to wait and see."

Dinner was a somber affair. Conversation consisted of single sentence observations. Only Hoss dug into the steak with any kind of enthusiasm. Hop-Sing seemed to sense the mood and didn't chide any of the family for their lack of appetite.

While Ben and Adam went over the account book at Ben's desk, Shannon sat at the table to do her homework. The vocabulary was easy. The math was not, and she found herself unable to concentrate once again.

It was getting close to her bedtime when the sound of approaching horses could be heard. "I wonder who that could be," Ben said as he stood up from the desk. "Shannon, stay inside."

In the middle of rising from her chair, Shannon scowled. She waited until Hoss had gone out before rushing to the door herself. She leaned out, staying on the inside and doing exactly what her pa had said but still able to see what was going on.

There were only two men. The one Shannon recognized as the man acting as sheriff while Roy Coffee was gone. "I'm afraid so, Ben," the temporary sheriff was saying. "We're looking for Little Joe."

"Little Joe?" Ben repeated in confusion.

"You're not going to like this," Sheriff Brady said, his tone both regretful and firm. "He shot a fellow in Virginia City. Killed him."

"No, sheriff."

Shannon bit her lip. After promising he wouldn't do anything that would be considered harmful, Joe had gone and killed a man? There had to be some kind of mistake! "No doubt about it, Ben," the sheriff said as he glanced around. "Where is he?"

"Who was it he was supposed to have shot?" Adam asked.

"One of them fellas from New Orleans. Named Cole. This Inspector LeDuque witnessed it. He said Little Joe just up and did it in cold blood."

"Aw, Sheriff Brady, you know Little Joe better than that," Hoss said in protest.

"All I know is he shot a man and ran away. And we gotta find him."
"Sheriff, now I know Joe will be coming home. Let us bring him into to town to you," Ben said.

The sheriff hesitated for just a moment. "All right, Ben. Your word's good enough for me." He glanced at the deputies that had accompanied him. "Come on."

"Joe wouldn't have done it," Hoss said immediately. "He may be hot-headed at times and reckless, but he doesn't go out killing people without reason."

"Where would Joe go?" was Adam's question. "Would he just leave?"

Leaning against the doorframe, Shannon closed her eyes for a moment. It hadn't been that long since Adam was the one leaving because of something that had happened. She never would have thought Joe would do the same thing.

Ben heaved a sigh. "I know where he is. I'll bring him home."

"Adam or I can go, Pa," Hoss said.

"No, it has to be me." With that said, he started for the barn.

Hoss shook his head. "I know Joe wouldn't do something like this," he said again.

"We might know that, Hoss, but Sheriff Brady wouldn't make an idle accusation," Adam said, his tone matter-of-fact. He turned and spotted Shannon. "Didn't Pa tell you—"

"I'm still inside!" Shannon interrupted, gesturing to where her feet were placed on the inside of the doorframe.

"You know Pa meant for you to stay all the way inside, where nothing could happen to you."

"It's not like there was any danger," Shannon said defensively. Why was Adam so set on chiding her when there were bigger problems at hand? What did it matter where she was when Joe and their pa were accused of murders?

"You should be glad Pa didn't see you," Adam said as he walked toward her. "The last thing he needs right now is to worry about another of his children." He caught her shoulder and turned her around.

Annoyed, Shannon jerked away from him. "Why would Pa have to worry about me? I didn't do anything."

Her oldest brother must have been tired because he didn't try to correct her or argue with her. Shaking his head, he just walked away. Surprised out of her anger, Shannon blinked. Wasn't he going to tell her to do her homework? Or to go to bed?

Coming up beside her, Hoss put his arm around her. "Everything's going to be fine," he told her. "It always is."
"I know," she said. Every time there had been trouble, come what may, everything had turned out well. But it was everything it took to get that point that worried her.

Sometimes there was a price to be paid for things turning out right.

It was the middle of the night when Shannon heard her pa and brother return. She slipped out of bed and hurried to the window. In the yard below, she saw them both dismount and walk towards the barn. Ben had his hand on his youngest son's shoulder.

Breathing out, Shannon sank onto the floor. At least Joe had come back, but what would happen next? He'd been accused of murdering someone. Someone who they knew had been working against their pa's plans for the future. That wasn't something the sheriff would take lightly.

She waited where she was until she heard the door close downstairs. Then, she scrambled to her bed and curled up under the quilt. There were footsteps on the stairs and then in the hallway.

Closing her eyes, Shannon tried to breathe slow and easy. Her bedroom door, which had been left ajar, opened all the way. Ben crossed the room and bent down to kiss her forehead. He then quietly left the room and gently closed the door behind him.

Sighing, Shannon opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Joe had come back but what would happen next?

When she finally managed to fall asleep, nightmares haunted her dreams and she found herself just as tired when she crawled out of bed the next morning. The atmosphere was just as somber as the previous evening had been. Joe explained that he had killed Mr. Cole out of self-defense. The man had drawn on him, but Joe had been faster.

"But why did you run?"

Joe shrugged. "I don't know. I knew LeDuque would make it look like something it wasn't."

"And running wouldn't do that for him?"

"Adam," Ben said reprovingly. "Joe is ready to tell Sheriff Brady what happened and set matters straight. We can all ride with Shannon to school, and then go straight to the sheriff's office."

Though she wanted to argue that she wouldn't be able to concentrate at school, Shannon kept quiet. Even though she'd left school early the day before, she knew her pa wouldn't agree to missing a whole day, no matter what was happening. It would take an emergency for that to happen.

And, unfortunately, her brother turning himself in for a murder just wasn't that kind of emergency.

To her surprise, when their family group reached the turn off for the school. Ben reached over to hug her. "Listen to Adam," he said in a low voice. "And please don't look for loopholes in everything he says."

"Yes, pa," Shannon said, unsure why he was telling her in that moment. The uneasy feeling that had settled in her stomach the day before grew.

She watched the four members of her family ride towards town as longa s she could before she led Star to the school shed where the rest of the students' horses spent the day. Just like the day before, nothing held her attention.

Of course, all the other students knew what had happened and were whispering about it. Emma, though, didn't mention it. But even the embroidery stitches the older girl was trying to teach her didn't hold her attention at all.

The hours dragged by. When the school bell dismissed class, she grabbed her books and rushed for the door. Shannon had to know what had happened at the sheriff's office.

Instead of her whole family, she saw her three brothers without their pa. And Shannon knew. Something had gone wrong in town.

"Where's Pa?" she demanded.

"Pa's gone away for awhile," Adam said. He sent a warning look at the other children that were trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. "We'll talk about it at home. Get your horse."

Pa? Gone? Before she went to get Star, Shannon studied her brothers' faces. Adam wasn't giving anything away. Joe looked angry and like he was barely holding himself in. Hoss' worry, though, was mixed with sadness.

"Shannon, hurry up," Adam said, his tone impatient.

Remembering her promise to Pa was all that kept Shannon from snapping back. She went to the shed, ignoring Amy's questions. Where would Pa have gone? Since he had withdrawn his name from the governorship, there were no men he needed to discuss politics with.

That left that man, someone Shannon had never even seen, LeDuque.

The twelve-year-old managed to hold her questions until she had fell into pace beside Hoss. "Where did Pa go? Why did he leave without saying goodbye? When is he coming back?"
"I said we'll talk about it at home, Shannon," Adam said.

"Why wait?" Joe asked, his tone angry. "She deserves to know that Pa went to New Orleans with that LeDuque. Pa didn't make it a secret did he? And she might as well know it's my fault."

Adam sent a glare at Joe. "It was Pa's choice, Joe."
"What do you mean Pa went to New Orleans?" Shannon demanded. In a flash, her pa's last words to her made sense. He'd known, even then, what was going to happen. "Why? Because LeDuque said he had to go?"

"Pa agreed to go so that LeDuque would tell the truth about what happened between Joe and Cole," Hoss said, his tone sympathetic. "He's going to New Orleans to make sure this thing is settled once and for all."

"What?" Shannon moved her gaze to each brother. Joe and Adam wouldn't meet her gaze. Their pa alone with a man who had spent twenty years and traveled all the way from New Orleans to confront their pa did not sound like a good idea. "Why didn't anyone go with him?"

"Because it was part of Pa's agreement with LeDuque, that no one go with them," Adam said, sharply.

"But...Joe, you said LeDuque hated Pa!" Shannon protested. "Sending him off alone with that... Why would you let that happen? How do you know LeDuque isn't going to be like Marshall Doud?"

Her two oldest brothers exchanged glances. "See?" Joe said, with a hint of triumph in his voice. "Even Shannon understands! Why can't the two of you see what we see?"

"I had Hiram Wood send a message to a lawyer he knows in New Orleans who will be expecting Pa," was all Adam had to say.
That was it? "You and Hoss went to Los Angeles to make sure Dave Walker reached there alive," Shannon said sharply. "Why couldn't you do the same for Pa?"

"It was Pa's choice, Shan," Hoss told her gently. "We offered to follow behind, stay out of sight, but make sure all was as it should be. He told us to stay here. Adam's doing all he can."

"Pa's choice?" Shannon repeated, bringing Star to a halt. "Just because it was Pa's choice doesn't mean it was the right one! Anything could happen out there! You have to go after them."

"That's not going to happen, Shannon," Adam said. "We have to respect what Pa wanted."

Pa wanted this? How could Pa have wanted this? Even as she wondered, Shannon knew why. Her pa would do anything for her and her brothers. A fact that several people had tried to use against them.

Hoss reached over and put his hand on her arm. "Once Pa gets to New Orleans, I'm sure he'll send us a message and let us know what is happening."

Dissatisfied though she was, Shannon kept from arguing. "How long will it take them to get to New Orleans?"

"On horseback? I'd say a couple weeks at least," Adam answered. "But we should hear back from Hiram's lawyer friend before that. We might even know what the case is really all about before Pa even does."

Her brother's optimism did little to reassure her. How could Pa just leave without saying goodbye? Why would he go if he knew he would be in danger? Why wouldn't her brothers help him? Even if it meant disobeying, it had to be the right thing to do.

Wouldn't it?

Shannon had a bad feeling about the whole situation.

Obediently, for the next week, Shannon did everything she was supposed to do. She went to school, she helped Hop-Sing gather eggs, did her homework, forced herself to eat what she could at each meal, and went to bed when she was told. The one thing she did not do was forgive her brothers. Any of them.

But, she had to admit, Joe was trying. It had become a nightly argument between her hot-headed brother and Adam that something had to be done. There had been no message from New Orleans. Someone had to go and find out the truth.

Of course, the oldest Cartwright son disagreed and said they would wait until they heard something. Hoss didn't have much to say, but he spent a lot of time riding the ranch borders to the south.

At school, Amy and Emma knew something was wrong but were kind enough not to ask. The other kids, knowing about her pa withdrawing his name from politics, were not as considerate and had a lot to say whenever she was near.

None of that was important, though. Not when she didn't know what had happened to her pa or where he was or what he was doing. The not knowing, the waiting, was always at the front of her mind.

It was eight days later that Joe was the one who came into town to pick up Shannon after school. He glared at the other kids, making them keep their distance. "I say, if we don't know anything by tomorrow, something has to change," he declared. "I'll go. I know the trail to New Orleans. It might be nice to see where my mother came from."

Rolling her eyes, Shannon nudged Star to get ahead of her brother. It was nothing he hadn't said before. If he was so sure someone should go, why hadn't he gone already? If he didn't warn Adam, no one would be able to stop him before he was well on his way.

Or would Adam have some sense Joe would do that and stop him anyway?

"Whoa, hold on a moment," Joe said.

Glancing over her shoulder, Shannon paused. "What's wrong?"

"I see Hiram Woods," he said. "And he's coming back from the Ponderosa."

News? Shannon straightened up. "Should we ask him what's he found out?"

"No, I think we should go ask Older Brother," Joe said, his tone firm with determination. He kicked Cochise into motion, not quite a gallop but not a meandering pace either. Though nowhere near as talented as him at riding, Shannon managed to keep up with him.

They reached the yard of the Ponderosa. Hoss and Adam were standing at the corral in deep conversation. "What did Mr. Wood want?" Joe demanded, riding straight for them.

Hoss and Adam exchanged looks before Adam answered the question. "He had word from New Orleans. Turns out, the case against Pa was closed two decades ago just like Pa thought. There was no warrant for Pa's arrest."

No warrant? Then why had LeDuque come all the way from New Orleans if there was no warrant? Had he been mistaken?

Joe let out a gleeful whoop of delight as he dismounted. He then asked, "How soon before Pa is back?"

Again, there was a glance between the oldest Cartwright brothers. "Pa hasn't reached New Orleans yet," Hoss spoke up next. "Since we don't know how they were getting there, we can't send a message to let him know he doesn't have to go any further. Best we can do is send a telegram to all the towns we can think of so the sheriffs there can be on the lookout"

The pit of anxiety in Shannon's stomach grew. This was no mistake on LeDuque's part. "And if LeDuque made sure they didn't go anywhere near other towns?" she asked. She had remained on Star and looked down at her brothers.

"We're going to find Pa, Shannon," Adam said, not answering her question.

Shannon's temper snapped. "Are you? How? Are you going to go after them now? How do you expect to find them after a week? What trail will there be to follow? You should have gone after Pa right he left!" With each word, her voice rose and Star shifted uneasily beneath her.

"Shan," Hoss started to say.

"Pa could be dead and it's all your fault!"

Angrily, Shannon wheeled Star around and kicked the horse into a gallop. She didn't know where she was going but she had to do something—anything—if it meant her brother's realized something had to be done! They couldn't just wait and see what—

The thunder of someone following right behind her caught her attention. Adam was beside her in a matter of seconds. He grabbed Star's reins and brought her to a stop. Angrily, Shannon smacked at Adam's hand.

"You should have gone after Pa in the first place, Adam! Why didn't you go? Why didn't you, Adam? You let Pa go alone with a murderer! This is your fault! I hate you!"

Without a word, Adam hooked his arm around her and pulled her out of her saddle. "Let me go, Adam!" Shannon screamed at him, trying to hit him. "You have to do something for Pa! You have to! Don't you love him at all?"

Adam didn't say a word as she slowly stopped struggling. Tears made everything blurry. Her heart pounded in her ears.

"I know you're upset, Shannon, and you have every right to be," Adam finally said in a low voice. "But running away isn't going to bring Pa back. Hoss and I have a plan."

Why couldn't they have had a plan a week ago? What if it was too late to find Pa?

"And I trust Pa can look out for himself. He's dealt with men worse than Inspector LeDuque," Adam continued. "He always find a way to get out of tough situations."

What if this was the time he hadn't? Shannon closed her eyes. All her energy was gone. Nothing Adam had said made her feel any better. "Are you ready to go back home?" he asked.

Feeling helpless and angry, Shannon just nodded. She didn't say anything as she climbed over back into Star's saddle. "I promise we're going to find Pa," Adam said as she gathered up the reins.

But Shannon hadn't forgiven him yet as she set off back home. She didn't care what promise Adam tried to make.

"I don't want to."

"Shannon, you can't skip school."

"Yes, I can."

Adam shook his head and crossed his arms. "Pa wouldn't want you to miss school. Again. You've done enough of that this school year already. You need an education."

It had been a sleepless night and the thought of facing her classmates was intolerable. Raising her chin, Shannon stared at him. "Pa might be dead," she said bluntly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hoss and Joe flinch. "Even if I go to school, I wouldn't be able to concentrate."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Adam heaved a sigh. "We don't know anything about what's happened to Pa," he said. "You can't assume that he's dead."

"And you can't prove that he's still alive."

"What harm will one day be, Adam?" Joe asked, interrupting the conversation. "Just let her have her way this one time."

"That's not helpful, Joe," Adam said, shooting his youngest brother a sharp look before turning back to Shannon. "You're going to school, Shannon. This is not up for debate."

Before Shannon could argue her point, there was the sound of a wagon in the yard. "Wonder what brings anyone out at this time of the morning," Hoss said, moving to the front door. He opened the door and exclaimed, "Pa!"

Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Shannon then bolted for the front door. She shoved past Hoss as she raced onto the porch. Sure enough, Ben Cartwright was just bringing a wagon to a halt.

"Pa!" Shannon shrieked, running towards him. She didn't even wait for him to climb down from the wagon. She scrambled up and threw herself at him.

With a laugh Ben hugged her tightly. He was dirty and smelled of sweat. "I thought you would be on your way to school already and wondered why I didn't pass you on the way," he said. He pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"Pa!" Joe was the next to come bounding up to them. "You're back! How did you—? Mr. Woods brought us a message from New Orleans yesterday to tell us that LeDuque lied. Adam was going to ride after you today!"

That was the first Shannon had heard about that plan.

"Yes, LeDuque lied," Ben said, loosening his hug. "He won't be bothering us again."

"How did you get away from him?"

"I didn't." Ben looked down at Shannon. "Will you let me get down, Shannon? Hoss, have Hop-Sing start heating up water for a bath. I want to "

Reluctantly, Shannon let go and climbed down. She tried to reach for her pa's hand as soon as he was on the ground, but he moved to hug Joe instead. "Pa, if you didn't get away from him, how were you able to come home?" Joe asked impatiently. "What happened?"

"Why don't you come in, Pa, and sit down?" Adam asked. "You must have had a long journey."

Hoss wasn't waiting to greet their father. He must have gone to tell Hop-Sing the good news and to have the cook do as Ben asked.

"LeDuque let me go," Ben said, putting his arm around Adam's shoulders for a quick hug. "He said a person can't kill without hate and the hate he had for me was gone. He's gone back to New Orleans to pick up what he can of his own life and I've come back home."

"How did you manage that?" Joe asked, unsatisfied with that.

"It's not important," Ben said, smiling at his youngest son. He glanced around the yard and breathed deep. "It's good to be home."

'A person cannot kill without hate.' Her pa's words rang in Shannon's mind as she sat in front of her window. Night had fallen and all she could see were the shadows of trees and the moon in the sky. It was quiet and was the perfect time to try to untangle her complicated feelings.

She'd said she hated Adam. In the heat of the moment, she'd meant it too.

But now...

Sighing, Shannon rested her head against the cool glass. Hate was not the right word for how she felt about Adam. He frustrated and annoyed her more often than not, but she'd never actually stopped loving him. He was her older brother, the one who had looked after her the most.

And, she supposed, the fact that he was more willing to discipline her was even more proof that he loved her and wanted the best for her.

That didn't mean she wasn't still angry with him for...a lot of things.

"Shannon? Are you alright?" Ben's voice spoke behind her. "I didn't expect you to still be up."

Shannon closed her eyes. If she was being honest with herself, she was also angry with her pa. He'd left. Sure it was for a good reason -making sure Joe received the justice he deserved wasn't unimportant- but he hadn't even said good-bye; hadn't thought of a way his family could help make sure he was all right, too. She was happy he was back but anger was still lurking in her heart.

"Shannon?" Her pa's hand was on her shoulder.

"I'm alright," she said, opening her eyes. "Just thinking."

"It's late, sweetheart. You should get to bed."

Forcing a smile, Shannon looked over her shoulder. "I will."

"Is there something on your mind that you want to talk about?"

She shook her head. "No, Pa." Maybe she would at some point, but not on the day he came back. She might even apologize to Adam for saying she hated him. But she wasn't ready to do that. "I'll go to bed."

Ben leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Thank you for not causing trouble for Adam while I was gone. I know you don't like having your brother in charge."

Startled, Shannon blinked. That wasn't quite how she remembered it. Why hadn't Adam told their father how badly she had reacted? She managed another smile and stood up. Now she had something else to think about.

"Good night, Pa."

"Good night, sweetheart."

Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair, by Stephen Foster 1854.