Testament

Personal Log of Spectre Saren Arterius

Year 2683 (Galactic Standard)

Entry 1

Twenty-one years ago a mysterious artefact was detected near the Perseus Veil-an artefact that its discoverers soon realized was not prothean but something older. Upon my seizure of the research conducted by Doctor Shu Qian I realized the truth. The extinct civilization that all species of our galaxy venerate are nothing more than a note in the annals of history. Like us, they indulged in the fiction that they had stumbled upon the ruins of a species that left the galaxy open to them. While true in a sense, these beliefs hide the truth. There are only the Reapers. They are the beginning, they are the end and all that comes and goes in-between is inconsequential.

It is funny...although I have little love for humans, I am reminded of one of their legends. That of the cities of Troy, all nine built on the ruins of that which came before. And while organic civilizations outnumber that of a single city, perhaps stretching into infinity itself, the principle remains. The dragon has awoken and it is preparing to unleash its flame across the galaxy.

Unless my plan succeeds that is...

Entry 2

My Spectre status has been revoked by the Council, thanks to a certain Commander Shepard-promoted to the rank of Spectre as if to take my place. While this is all inconsequential, I would have still preferred to have my reputation intact. Future generations, while living under Reaper control, will thank me for my actions, for understanding that saving some is better to following a course of action that leads to extinction. Yet for now, I must endure the false history the Council is creating, their short-sightedness blinding them to the larger picture. I cannot argue with history, but I can create it.

And my creation is going well, I must say. My geth are like sheep-they are synthetic, but their motives for following Sovereign are as real and false as any organic. Devotion, belief, even fear...They have lived in fear of reprisal from the organic species of the galaxy and now see their salvation, not knowing how, unlike organic life, will be cast aside. Ignorance is the greatest weapon of tyrants, yet as a liberator, I am willing to use it as well.

But I must admit, I have been having second thoughts lately...what if I've created something out of the geth, something I didn't intend to? When does a hero become a monster? When does glory lead to infamy? When does love for my species give way to hatred for others?

I don't know. But no matter.

Soon the galaxy will understand the methods behind my apparent madness.

Entry 3

Why does Sovereign only begin acting now? Was my discovery a catalyst, the Reaper realizing that not only had it found an ally, but organic life could be useful as well? While I am flattered by the notion, I can't help but wonder-how am I the only being in the history of the galaxy that has come to the conclusions that the Reapers cannot be stopped, that submission is the only way to survive? The protheans were blinded by their glory and could not see the storm that would eclipse their light, could not understand that the Conduit would only lead to a temporary solution, but surely, someone, sometime would have come to the same conclusion that I did?

Eighteen years ago I began walking the road that would lead to the salvation of organic life. But now, as my dream draws close to completion, I feel...nothing. Is this humility? Or am I becoming more like a machine? Once this would have been a pleasing sign of things to come, but after talking to Shepard on Virmire, I can't help but wonder...

Have I embarked upon a crusade to the promised land only to die? Have I created an Eden whose inhabitants will be cast out? Such terminology sickens me, but still...Well, no matter. I cannot turn back now, will not look back on the trail of savagery and death that has led me to Ilos. I must part the clouds of ignorance and descend upon the remnants of those who came before, yet also after. Soon the Reapers will return and cover the light of the stars, just as they did with the protheans.

And I can only hope that our own light will endure.

Entry 4

As metal becomes one with flesh, I know that this will be my last entry. The Conduit stands ready and soon I will take my place amongst the gods. While I may die in the coming battle on the Citadel, I can take solace that death is nothing next to vindication. My life's work has been achieved and soon, life itself will be saved. I have initiated an alliance, one which will ensure the continued existence of sapient life in the galaxy.

I alone can do this. I alone realize that the only way for life to have a future is to forgo the past and embrace the present. Destiny beckons from beyond the stars and we must answer it, with myself as the prophet. Our journey beyond the horizon of the halo stars begins as hatred and misunderstanding between organics and machines comes to an end. And knowing this, I feel joy.

Yet as the Conduit stands ready, I cannot help but reflect that this is the last emotion I will ever feel.

A/N

2009-12-11: Actually the second time I've uploaded this fic, the first being the same text as an Avatar oneshot I posted at the same time. No, it isn't advertising, but simply an error I somehow made. Apologies for posting what would have been a bizzare Mass Effect fic.