The Empty Head Conundrum

Chapter One

"I disagree completely!" Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D., exclaimed at his four friends, shifting his position on his side of the couch. "Given the span of time from my birth to his, the processes of evolution, my physical attributes and not to mention my highly superior intelligence, it all strongly suggests that I may either be an ancestor or descendant of Spock."

Howard Wolowitz, ., shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Sheldon, you can't be an ancestor of Spock because that would have given you some genetic attributes of a Grayson or a Vulcan, which you do not have," he argued. "And you can't be his descendant because he never had any offspring."

"You can't just say that. Prove it," Sheldon challenged.

"He died."

"Ah. But remember that inStar Trek III: The Search for Spock, Spock was resurrected by the Genesis Device and thereby suggesting that there could still have been moments where his genes and katra, yet again, were passed on. Stop trying Wolowitz, you're out of possibilities."

Howard glared at Sheldon, while Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, Ph.D., blinked back and forth between them. He shrugged. "I don't care if you prove it, Sheldon," he said. "You'll still look more like C-3PO to me."

Sheldon's eyes widened and was about to speak when Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Ph.D., interrupted, "All right, all right, stop this!" he said. "Sheldon, you can be Spock. Howard, just pick some other character."

"But I want to be Spock!"

Sheldon snorted. "You? Spock? Please," he taunted. "You would have to add at least 5 points to your IQ, have a Ph.D. in this life, and, of course, add several inches to your height."

Howard's face turned red with rage and his fists slammed down his knees. "All right, that's it," he said. "You asked for it." He grabbed the pillow from Sheldon's back and stood up.

Sheldon froze in shock. "You wouldn't," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"Try me," Howard threatened back.

"Come on, guys, can't we play crossovers without getting violent?" Leonard said.

Raj grabbed his arm. "Ssshh! I wanna see what happens!" he said. "Don't be a spoiler!"

Howard twirled the pillow, sneering at Sheldon. "I'm thinking of a new experiment," he said. "I wonder…what happens to a mass of cotton and satin when it's thrown down an inclined plane?"

Sheldon snorted. "That's not a new experiment!" he said. "Everybody knows what will happen."

Howard stares pointedly at Sheldon, holding up the pillow.

Slowly, it dawned on Sheldon what Howard's plan was. "No," he gasped. "Not my pillow!"

Howard rushed outside and threw the pillow out towards the staircase.

"No!" Sheldon screamed, jumping up to catch the pillow.

Howard, Leonard and Raj stared, horrified, as Sheldon tumbled down the stairs, clutching his pillow.

* * *

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"He's conscious."

Howard and Raj cheered.

"But…" Raj started. "Why isn't he opening his eyes?"

"Is something wrong with his eyes? Did I lose Sheldon's eyes?" Howard pleaded at the attending physician.

"No," the physician said. "He's just fine, nothing to worry about. Just a slight bump on the head."

Leonard leaned over at the still figure of Sheldon lying on the painfully white hospital bed. "Sheldon? Are you awake?" he asked.

"Yes," Sheldon answered, keeping his lids over his eyes.

"Then why don't you open your eyes?"

"I like the dark."

Howard grabbed his hair in panic. "Oh my god, I tipped him over the edge!" he said.

"Shut up, Howard," Raj scolded. "If there's anything in the world that can turn Sheldon into a villainous monster, it certainly wouldn't be a concussion."

"You're right, you're right," Howard said. "I'm just being crazy, my head's all over the air."

"Then remember your law of gravity and shut up," Leonard said.

At this, Sheldon's eyes flew opened and stared at Leonard with a piercing, horrified intensity.

"Sheldon? What is it?"

Sheldon blinked. "Leonard…" he started.

"Yes?"

"What's the law of gravity?"