Chapter Seventeen

Ichigo walked out of Kurotsuchi's lab for what seemed like the millionth time. It was really only the second. But he had wanted to get his spirit power measured, and to do that, he had to go back into the lion's den, so to speak. He hated Kurotsuchi with all his being. The man was a foul, conniving, evil, twisted little man and everyone knew it. But no doubt he was still a genius. Ichigo had been hooked up to the reader machine, after a bit of… persuasion on his part. Ichigo had to convince Kurotsuchi that it was in his best interest to help him. Of course, that hadn't been easy, but he had done it nonetheless, mostly with thinly veiled threats and indirect and noncommittal offers to share Urahara's information with him. Ichigo was glad that he had gotten tested. His power was now 4,000. That was 3,000 more than the Shinigami maximum. Of course, since he had merged with his hollow half, one might expect him to be anywhere between 250 and 500 points above the max. Ichigo did have the shards in him, of course, and Urahara's power, which had been considerable, as well.

Ichigo sighed, and started walking out to Sokyoku Hill. It was his day off, so he didn't really have anything to do. It was also a beautiful day, and normally, he would have spent it with Rukia. But he hadn't seen her once. Mostly, he had been avoiding the places that she usually went. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see Rukia. It wasn't that he didn't love her. He loved her more than life itself. But being reminded that he had been such a miserable failure was a hard pill to swallow, especially when he had to swallow it every time he even saw Rukia. He wondered vaguely how she was doing. Now that she didn't have to worry about him, he figured that she was probably doing better than ever. He had figured wrong.

It had been a week since Ichigo had come back from his mission, and Rukia hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. She was starting to feel like maybe he was angry at her for yelling at him. They had their arguments, just like any couple, but usually, they were nothing that couldn't be worked out by talking about them. This time, though, he had seemed really hurt by what she said. She remembered his words as clearly as if they had been said just the day before.

"I'm just not as smart as people like you and Orihime. Fighting is one of the few things that I'm good at."

She wondered if maybe he had always felt like that, and she had just brought it out more in him, or if it was a more recent feeling of inadequacy. She hated feeling like she was the cause of his discontent. She wandered aimlessly through the streets of the Seireitei, not paying any real attention to where she was going. After all, it wasn't like anyone was really out that day. Even though it was a nice day, Soul Society was busy due to the news that a new ruler had taken over Las Noches, and that he was more powerful than any Hollow or Shinigami they had ever faced before. As such, she barely even noticed when she crashed right into Ichigo, and was knocked backwards.

Rukia absentmindedly stood up and looked around, seeing Ichigo there, but not registering him for a moment, until she noticed that he was trying to get away before she could spot him. She grabbed his wrist, though, and held tight, even though he tried to pull it away.

"Ichigo, please wait!!" Rukia pleaded. Seeing the tears filling her eyes, Ichigo stopped and turned around, looking intently at Rukia, who smiled sadly at him and hugged him tightly.

"You've been avoiding me…" she said in what she tried to make a stern voice, but came out sounding shaky and hurt.

"No, I haven't. I just… Haven't had much time out lately," he lied. Rukia sighed and looked at Ichigo.

"Don't lie, Ichigo. You aren't good at it, and it doesn't suit you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. If it helps any, I never thought you weren't smart. I-I was just… worried about you. Part of me was excited when you became a captain… But part of me was scared. Captains are given the most dangerous and difficult assignments on the rare occasions that they come up. I didn't want to see you get hurt or killed. Is it so wrong to want to keep the person I love safe?"

"Rukia… I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm fine… really. The powers that Hollow displayed were new and unusual, but not unstoppable… I guess the major question is… do you trust me?"

"Of course I do… I've always trusted you, Ichigo. I-I don't like being apart from you. Maybe we could spend some time together today?"

"Sure. I was just headed to Sokyoku Hill…" Ichigo said, taking Rukia's hand and walking with her to Sokyoku Hill.

Ichigo felt something on top of Sokyoku Hill. It didn't feel that significant, and certainly it was harmless. It even seemed… happy. Maybe he wasn't the only one enjoying a day off by going up to the former Sokyoku to look out at the entire Soul Society. When they got to the top, though, Ichigo was shocked at what he had come across. Karin and Toshiro were still up there, making out by the stand for the Sokyoku.

"Captain Hitsugaya!? Karin!?" Ichigo shouted. The two looked up, startled by Ichigo's and Rukia's appearance.

"Rukia!? Ichi-nii!?" Karin yelped, jumping off of Toshiro and pulling her robe's sleeve back up onto her shoulder, as it had slipped slightly. They weren't about to have sex. But it sure as hell seemed that way.

"Captain Hitsugaya!? Karin-chan!?" Rukia said sharply.

"Captain Kurosaki!? Kuchiki!?" Toshiro yelled, falling over on his back after losing his balance from Karin jumping off of him

"Dumbledore!!!" A nude, silver bearded puppet said loudly, and rather stupidly.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" The four of them shouted at Dumbledore, who shrugged, and said, "Y'know, just doin' what comes natural! Strippin on stage and saying my own name like the dimwit that I am… Bye, now, younguns!" He said with a laugh, disappearing as quickly as he showed up, leaving the four to question why he had come at all.

"That was weird…" Ichigo said.

"And it's made even weirder by the fact that this is all scripted for us by Luppi-tan, one of the second rate writers who instead of writing his own storylines, follows an already well established one. Of course, even the great Luppi-tan is merely a pawn of the Divine Lord Kubo…" Karin said. The other three looked at her as if she was crazy, but then Rukia understood. She had forgotten all about the scene in front of them just moments before, and was fully focused on this.

"Do you think that this could mean that the Divine Lord Kubo is behind the deaths of Aizen, Gin, Tossen, Hinamori, Urahara, and Rin from the Research & Development department?" Rukia asked quietly, shuddering at the deviousness and insanity of the whole thing.

"I wouldn't doubt it for a moment," Toshiro said, who had already known for a long time. "The Divine Lord Kubo may be a deity among deities, but he is a cruel, and capricious ruler who would think nothing of harming, or even killing a character merely for his own sadistic entertainment…"

"Then… You mean that we're nothing but fictional characters, created for the sole purpose of entertaining the ignorant and idiotic masses!?" Ichigo fumed. The other three nodded in agreement.

"Actually, you've just about got it. But, if it makes you feel better, we are very real to each other, and because the Divine Lord Kubo has given us personalities, strengths, weakneses and other unique traits that define us, he has essentially given us souls that cause us to take on a level of reality that allows us to fully feel any pain or indeed, any sensation that the Divine Lord Kubo sees fit to thrust upon us," Rukia said, sounding rather pessimistic at the moment.

"This can work in our favor, though. All we have to do in order to defeat Arturo Plateado is tell him about the conspiracy, and then Kubo will have to kill him the next chance that he gets, i.e. the ensuing fight between him and Captain Kurosaki…" Toshiro said with a smirk. Then he looked at Karin. "None of us need be harmed, save perhaps for Captain Kurosaki. But that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I'm glad you're willing to take it! What about me, though!? Don't I get a say in this!?" Ichigo protested loudly. Toshiro rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Captain Kurosaki, it's for the good of the world. After all, we know that Plateado has at least five shards of the Sokyoku. He cannot be allowed to collect all of them. If he does, it will be all over for the world, and for Soul Society."

As if on cue, a dimensional portal opened up in the skies of Soul Society at that moment, and Arturo stepped out, accompanied by five Arrancar. Ichigo couldn't get a full read on them, but he could tell just by looking that their power was immense, and that this would be no easy battle. Soul Society had never prepared a contingeny for fighting five opponents, all of whom were twice as strong as Aizen, and one Arrancar that easily made Aizen look like a kitty cat. Ichigo knew who he had to fight. He was discussing the particulars of the conspiracy with Karin and Toshiro, but soon, he would have to go out on his own and fight the monster with his own power. He could sense that Arturo was more powerful than the last time that they met. At least twice as powerful. That was bad news for him. Ichigo knew that he was in for a fight like no other. He looked at Rukia, and spoke, "Rukia, try to clear everyone in the first twenty districts in each sector out. I can't guarantee their safety otherwise. This will get ugly. Get all captains and lieutenants ready to fight. Tell Kenpachi to take this fight seriously for once in his damn life!!"

With that, he shot off into the sky, releasing his Bankai immediately, and shooting a Getsuga Tensho with more power than Rukia could ever have imagined. If she hadn't known that it was Ichigo, she would have sworn that it was the Kami-sama himself fighting. The Getsuga Tensho hit Arturo dead on, but didn't do any major damage. Arturo frowned and shook his head, removing his sword from its sheath in his right hand, and creating an energy sword in his left, and attacking with a speed that Ichigo could barely keep up with. Ichigo had him right where he wanted him, though. He smirked and jumped back from the spot, using the moment of confusion to cast a Kidô spell.

"Bakudô 100! Ultimate Bankin!" Ichigo shouted, binding Arturo's arms behind his back, holding him in place with such power that he wouldn't possibly be able to escape.

"Now, you are going to listen while I make a stereotypically longwinded speech that is always given by the protagonist to explain why the antagonist is wrong to be doing what they are doing. Please listen and do not interrupt… Now, all that you think you know is essentially a lie. There is a much larger world beyond what we know. We are basically nothing more than pawns, fabrications of the Divine Lord Kubo's vast imagination. He creates all, knows all, and sees all. And he is a beneficent and magnanimous being, so long as nobody learns too much. Once someone knows too much, they are instantly placed on his list. And people who are on his list are liable to be killed one way or another. Whether in the real world by an assassin, or in this world by an inexplicable plothole that nonetheless seems suspiciously conveniently placed to advance the plot. This conspiracy spreads far and wide, and few know about it, or there would be far fewer people in our world. However, you are merely a piece on a living chessboard for the Divine Lord Kubo, moving around at his whim for his entertainment. You think it's impossible? It's not. The power that Kubo holds knows no bounds, and now that you know, you will die. Most likely in this battle with me. It's funny how life works, isn't it?"

"W-wait!! Y-you're going to die, too!! You also know about the Divine Lord Kubo's plan!"

"You think I didn't prepare for that? I won't die. At least not yet. Since I am the main character, and direly important to the plotline, Kubo would need to figure out a way to end the entire plotline with my death. To kill me would mean to end the story, and he's likely having too much fun right now. Do you see? You don't stand a chance. But just to prove how doomed you really are, I will release the Bakudô that binds you, and allow you to continue fighting me. Ultimate Bankin, release!"

Suddenly, the spell was cancelled, and Arturo gasped in relief, shooting a powerful Cero at Ichigo, appearing to hit him dead on. But then Ichigo appeared behind Arturo and fired the same kind of Cero that the girl had fired, crushing Arturo's right arm. Arturo howled in agony and turned around, grimacing hatefully at the Shinigami captain. He used Sonido to take Ichigo by surprise, and stabbed Ichigo in the back, only to find that the sword wouldn't pierce Ichigo's flesh. Ichigo turned around and sighed.

"Hierro. It's a real bitch, ain't it?"

"NO!! YOU WILL BE BUT ASH BEFORE THE MIGHT OF FENIX!!! BURN, FENIX!!" Arturo roared, and blue flames erupted around him, fully engulfing him, and destroying almost half of the Seireitei in the process. He then used Sonido to attack Ichigo, slashing at him and hitting him dead on, cutting him deeply in the process, and burning him severely. Ichigo's regenerative abilities because of the Hollow powers in him began working immediately, repairing the damaged flesh, but still, it was a slow job. Ichigo blocked the next attack, and slashed at Arturo, doing another Getsuga Tensho with his Bankai, then using Shunpo to get behind him and do another Getsuga Tensho so that they crashed into each other, creating a huge explosion. Ichigo then fired a Gran Rey Cero into the epicenter, and he heard a shriek of rage and agony. Despite that, though, Arturo came out. He was badly injured, but still standing, and enraged to the point of madness.

"You will pay, Kurosaki Ichigo!! YOU WILL PAY!!!" he shrieked furiously, sending Cero after Cero at Ichigo, all of which Ichigo dodged expertly before taking Arturo's back and slashing, using another Getsuga Tensho to finish him off. As he screamed his death throes, at least fifty shards glistened in the air, and then buried themselves in Ichigo's body, causing him to nearly explode with the newfound energy.

After a few moments, Ichigo came down and surveyed the Soul Society. It would take some work to fix it, but nothing that Orihime couldn't handle. She was amazing at fixing and healing, after all. Now, though, he had another mission to undertake. He had to destroy the Divine Lord Kubo. It was a scary prospect. After all, what would happen to him once Kubo was dead? Would he fade from existence? Or perhaps, like in a dictatorship, after the tyrant was overthrown, the people would organize themselves as they saw fit. He went over to Rukia and kissed her, before focusing on the Divine Lord Kubo in his mind. Instantly, he teleported there, and was instantly noticed by Kubo, who grinned soullessly, and spoke. "Greetings, captain. It is good to finally meet you. I suppose that you are here… to overthrow me? To kill me? You couldn't even kill my second in command. Oh, Quagmire!"

"Yeah, Lord Kubo!?" came a bright, perverted voice from the other room. He then walked in, whistling all the way.

"Could you show Captain Kurosaki what we do with people who betray us? I'll give you Rukia-chan once you're done. I know that you've had your eye on her."

"Giggity, giggity, gig-gi-ty! Heh, heh, alriiiight! Eh, sorry 'bout this, Ichigo. I'm just followin' orders. Sex dolls, attack!!" he shouted. Ichigo drew his sword and slashed a sex doll in two, utterly destroying it under the sheer weight of his spiritual pressure. Ichigo then used a burst version of Getsuga Tensho and vaporized all of the other dolls.

"Oh, fer fuck's sake! Ya jus' can't get good sex dolls anymore! Ya' hafta do everything yerself!" Quagmire said angrily, pulling a twin set of vibrating twelve inch dildos out of his pockets and attacking Ichigo.

"Power word, orgasm!!" Quagmire shouted viciously. Suddenly, Ichigo inexplicably began to cum in his pants over and over again, and he found that he could barely move, or do anything, save for writhing on the floor in unwanted pleasure. He'd have a hard time explaining that to Rukia later.

"Prismatic bondage!!" Quagmire said with ruthless glee, as Ichigo was bound and gagged by prismatic ropes and a gag. Then, Quagmire was on him, beating him mercilessly with the two dildos with a strength that Ichigo wouldn't have thought possible.

"Heh, heh! I'm a master of sadomasochism! Giggity, giggity, goo!!" Quagmire said, laughing maniacally as he tried to pull down Ichigo's pants and force the dildo in his ass. Ichigo used an unspoken Kidô, though, and blasted Quagmire off of him, and destroyed the ropes that had previously bound him. He then went on the offensive, ignoring his pants, which were soaked and heavy with cum and very uncomfortable. He attacked, anyway, though, using a Shunpo to take Quagmire by surprise and cut his head from his body with one smooth stroke. In a final "giggity!" Quagmire collapsed to the ground, dead. Kubo sighed.

"Ah, well. Guess I'll have to do this myself, then…" he said, standing up and pulling out what looked suspiciously like a Zanpakuto. He then used his other hand to create a bow. At Ichigo's shock, Kubo nodded.

"How did you think I became so powerful? By sitting on my ass and drawing cartoons all day? No! I know all techniques and powers representative of every spiritually aware group in Bleach, even Hime-chan's ability to reject any event. Unfortunately, I cannot heal myself like that. But, alas, such was not meant to be. Goodbye, Kurosaki Ichigo."

With that, Kubo attacked by firing a rapid stream of millions of spirit arrows that seemed to be deflected by the walls, which had a reflective shine to them. Ichigo dodged all of the arrows, and shot a Kuro Getsuga Tensho at Kubo. Kubo just yawned, and rejected it using Orihime's abilities. Ichigo cursed. Was there no way to defeat this guy?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo, you should know before I kill you just how powerful I really am. My spiritual power is somewhere around 100,000. Of course, my specialty is in attacking and preventing attacks. If you actually managed to hit me, I'd probably die almost immediately. My skin, not being an actual Shinigami, or a Hollow, is quite vulnerable to attack. Have fun with that tidbit while I kill you."

With that, Kubo launched a Dawn of Megiddo at Ichigo, which Ichigo managed to block with a Bakudô 101. Ichigo kept up the Kidô and then jumped out of the way of another attack, guarding himself for a moment while he thought. He didn't have much time. He would have to work quickly. The walls were reflective. They couldn't be destroyed by spiritual attacks. That meant that if he aimed true, he might be able to hit Kubo on a rebound of one of his attacks. He jumped out, releasing the shield, and gathering all of his spirit energy, both Hollow and Shinigami into one last attack. He knew he had to make it count, so he aimed carefully, considering the course that the attack would take, and anything that might interrupt it. Then, he fired, a Gran Rey Cero mixed with a Kuro Getsuga Tensho, fuelled by every bit of his spirit energy that he could spare. It went straight past Kubo, who smirked and laughed at Ichigo's poor aim, but was blasted and obliterated less than a second later by the attack on the rebound. As Kubo was disintegrated, he screamed in fury as the remaining pieces of the Sokyoku were transferred into Ichigo's body.

Ichigo had done what nobody would have thought possible. He had destroyed Kubo, and gathered together the pieces of the Sokyoku. He felt the power flowing through him. It felt unreal, like he was completely different. But, he could worry about that later. He had to get back to Soul Society to help clean up after Arturo's attack… If it wasn't already done. Ichigo sighed and teleported back to the Seireitei, to find that indeed the entire Soul Society was repaired, all done by Orihime, who had done it all in five minutes with her powers.

Rukia ran over to Ichigo and hugged him tightly, kissing him passionately on the lips. They didn't even notice that Toshiro and Karin had gone back to making out. Not that Ichigo really would have minded. Toshiro was a nice person, and it was really none of his business who his sister dated. He smiled at Rukia as the two pulled away and embraced. Ichigo couldn't wait to tell Rukia what had happened. But, it would have to wait until Ichigo could get a change of clothes. He disappeared from Rukia's arms and quickly changed, then reappeared almost as quickly as he had gone, leaving Rukia to wonder if he had ever left at all.

"So, what happened!? Are we doomed!?" Rukia asked excitedly, but also slightly nervously. Ichigo shook his head.

"Nah. We just have to figure out everything for ourselves, now. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

The End

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. It sure as hell took me forever to write. I feel, though, that it's one of the best ones I've done in a long time, though, so please read and review. I invite any constructive criticism. Flames, however, will be completely ignored. You have been forewarned.