12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Everybody sing it with me now!!
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Eight condom packets;
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Nine naughty novels;
* Eight condom packets;
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Ten tickling feathers;
* Nine naughty novels;
* Eight condom packets;
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Eleven flavoured lube tubes;
* Ten tickling feathers;
* Nine naughty novels;
* Eight condom packets;
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
* Twelve tongue lock kisses;
* Eleven flavoured lube tubes;
* Ten tickling feathers;
* Nine naughty novels;
* Eight condom packets;
* Seven silky blindfolds;
* Six inch cock gag;
* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs;
* Four fluffy handcuffs;
* Three coloured cockrings;
* Two nipple clamps; and
* A butt plug up my hiney!
~~-HOHOHO-~~
Sitting on the bed, face flaming red and surrounded by some of the most perverted objects he'd ever seen, Iruka's temper was slowly starting to boil over. His right eye seemed to have developed a regular twitch and to say he was mortified by the situation would be an understatement.
Sitting on the bedspread in front of him with a mound of adult toys the only thing separating them was his long term lover, Kakashi. The elite Jounin's mask was down and a childishly gleeful look positively radiated from the pale features. Kakashi looked like a little boy that had fallen in love with a new train set and told he could have it. Yet rather than appearing endearing, all Iruka wanted to do was strangle him.
"Kakashi…"
"Yes, love?"
Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose to try and hold off the impending headache before continuing to speak in a deceptively calm voice.
"What were you thinking?"
The perverted grin on Kakashi's face was answer enough and Iruka felt his temper finally peak to destructive levels.
"Kakashi…"
"Yes, love?"
"Start running."
~~-HOHOHO-~~
This was not good. In fact this situation was so far from what he'd planned it was very disturbing. The chase had gone according to plan. They'd flown across rooftops, up and down alleys, through trees, and up the Hokage Mountain. Then they'd run down it again… and then back up.
But that was all beside the point. The plan had been to catch his perverted, errant lover, beat him to a pulp, yell at him until his throat was raw, and then go home to burn all those nasty 'toys' before also burning the Jounin's Icha Icha collection just to be self righteously malicious. The first edition Icha Icha's, signed with personal messages from the author himself and with lipstick kisses from the actresses that had starred in Jiraiya distasteful movie.
That had been the plan. It was a good plan; Iruka had been very comfortable and happy with it. But did Kakashi want to cooperate? NO! Instead the damn cursed Copy-nin had run him around until he'd lost his indignant rage then the chase had ended when the older man had just suddenly stopped on one of the far training fields. Kakashi had turned to him with a grin that was visible through his damned mask, dropped into a fighting stance, and simply said "Let's go."
So Iruka went him. They'd fought for a very long time, trading kicks and blows which splintered trees and tore up earth. As loath as he was to admit it, Iruka was just no match for the ex-ANBU. Kakashi had obviously been going easy on him, but still hadn't given him any chances to catch his breath, constantly coming in for attacks and keeping Iruka moving until he was breathing hard and starting to slow down.
Then what had the cheeky bastard started doing?
STEALING HIS FUCKING CLOTHES!!
With each attack went a garment. First his hitaiate, next his flak-vest, after that his shirt, his hair tie, and even his bloody shoes! The cursed Jounin had also pulled out a kunai from Kami knows where and sliced through his leg bindings. Iruka was now standing in the middle of the training field, more than mildly pissed off, and only clad in his standard issue pants!
As pissed off as he might be he was also very puffed. It wasn't easy defending your head and your clothes at the same time, unfortunately instincts demand that your head takes precedence (damn stupid training!). Iruka wiped away bead of sweat making a trail towards his eye and continued glaring around in search of his depraved lover. Where had the bastard gotten to?
"You seem to have run out of puff, love."
Iruka spun around and there was Kakashi, still grinning like a maniac and only slightly sweaty.
"Bastard!" the half naked man growled as he darted forward and planting his fist solidly in the Jounin's face… only to have him disappear in a puff of chakra smoke.
Fuck! Goddamn fucking clones!
The thought had barely formed in his mind when two strong arms wrapped around him tightly, pinning his arms to his sides.
"Perfect. Tired but still feisty." The deep voice purred in his ear as the half gloved hands flashed through the signs for a teleportation jutsu with inhuman speed.
"Kaka-!!"
They disappeared from the training ground in a swirl of leaves and chakra smoke.
~~-HOHOHO-~~
Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit!
As soon as he felt himself stabilise after the teleportation jutsu, Iruka made a mad-dash for the door. He'd only taken one and a half steps when a strong hand locked around his wrist and he was sent flying onto the nearby bed with practiced ease.
"Now, now, love." Kakashi purred in his ear, pushing him further into the mattress by straddling his hips and leaning on his back. "We still have to try out your presents."
His cry of "No!" went completely unacknowledged. In one deft move and a cheeky "He-yup!" from the Jounin, Iruka was flipped onto his back and his hands cuffed to the bed frame above his head. If Kakashi thought a couple of measly metal loops were enough to stop him the Copy-nin had another thing coming!
Focusing his chakra Iruka yanked on the red, fluff covered cuffs only to wince as pain laced through his wrists.
What the?
He pulled hard at his trapped hands again only to achieve the exact same results. Turning his head towards his soon-to-be-dead lover, Iruka found the older man grinning down at him gleefully with the mask once more pooled around his neck.
"Kakashi…" Iruka growled, dark eyes narrowing to dangerous slits.
"Yes, love?"
"Don't you 'yes love' me, you crazy bastard! Unlock the damn cuffs!"
The older man pouted like a kid that had just been denied an ice-cream. "But Ruru, I put a lot of effort into the seals on those cuffs."
Iruka froze. "What do you mean by 'seals'?" He had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like the answer. The dark chuckle that rumbled up from Kakashi's chest confirmed his suspicions. "You put a chakra absorbing jutsu on the cuffs!?" he exploded as his silver haired lover continued to grin evilly.
"Yup. The more chakra you feed through to try and break them the stronger they become."
An angry flush spread across Iruka's cheeks and glared at the older man. "Kakashi, as soon as I get out of these I'm going to tear you into so many pieces your nin-kin won't be able to find enough of you for Tsunade to put back together."
With a hungry leer, Kakashi leaned down close to the Chuunin's flushed face and traced a pale finger over the horizontal scar.
"Iruka… love. By the time I'm done with you, you're not going to be able to move for a week."
---
AN: Even though I wrote this a year ago I didn't post it here originally because I though the whole sequence might be a bit raunchy.
But hey, I write smutty stories... or songs in this case. There is more to come (pun totally intended), much more. If you've read this one before I'll actually be changing/extending the story a little bit so might be worth another glance through. Next update tomorrow ^_^
*Walks off singing* Fiiiivvveee Viiibratiiinnggg Eeeggggs!