The angel was peculiar – a round blue ring of light. They still didn't know for sure if it was an angel; the pattern was only orange. Still, no one wanted to take the chance, so Rei and Asuka were to sortie. Even as they approached, the angel floated peacefully, like the halo of its namesake.

"It's coming," Rei said.

The angel moved faster than anyone imagined, immediately breaking its ring-shape and lunging for Rei's Evangelion. She reacted, too late – Eva Unit-00 and the angel started to merged, the angel disappearing into the robot's hands like stigmata. The one-eyed giant fired its rifle helplessly over and over again, bullets bouncing off the blue whip-shape. The spent shells clattered onto the streets below.

Asuka was launched in Unit-02, an obstinate action at best. The mecha refused to move for her. The handles felt lifeless in her hands, as the red behemoth stood, dormant. She could hear the panicked voices of those in Terminal Dogma, but everything was background noise to Asuka, helplessly looking on as the angel continued its assault.

Large veins grew on the blue Evangelion as the infection grew, robot and creature joining together. Rei's pain could be heard over the com-link. Unit-02 was withdrawn, the sinking darkness of the elevator an apt setting for Asuka's mood.

And then Shinji came in to save the day. Last time, he had let Asuka sit there, helpless as her mind was laid bare. Last time it had been Rei to end her torment. No, the purple mecha would've never come if it were her infected by the Angel, she thought bitterly. It was a blatant vindication of her pathetic self-worth: Rei was more important than Asuka.

She had lost to the doll.

The angel noticed this new combatant, moving towards Shinji.

"No," Rei stated, with a finality that belied her intentions. The angel stopped scant metres from Shinji, snapping at him with the ferocity a wild dog leashed. And then it disappeared into Unit-00 like a tape measure winding. The whine of the self-destruct initializing was audible.

Was that a tear in Rei's eyes? Asuka couldn't be sure.

A white glow was the only answer she received.

Intentions

Part two of an Evangelion fan-fiction.

Evangelion is the property of studio Gainax.

Series created by Hideaki Anno with character designs by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion; all characters and designs have been used without permission. Any brand names or trademarks have also been used without permission.

My eyes opened to a white haze, as the after-effects of the dream mixed with the soft morning light. I turned on my side to take a glance at my alarm clock; it was barely 6:00. I lay there, wide-awake: the dream had made sure of that.

What a ridiculous dream - Freud would've probably had a field day analyzing it. I turned again to lie on my back, pulling the covers over me, and again as I tried to get comfortable. This lasted about five minutes, before I gave up on sleep and scrambled to my feet.

I opened the sliding door to a darkened apartment. My parents were still in Germany on official research business; they knew I was mature enough to fend for myself. I grabbed a kettle from the cupboard, filled it with water, and put it on the stove to boil. My mug and an Earl Grey packet were set aside for when the water would be ready. Hopefully, some tea would sooth my nerves.

By the time I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I heard a high-pitched whine. Into my cup went the boiled water, quickly followed by the tea bag, and my usual milk and sugar. I took the mug to the balcony, sitting on the wooden patio chair we put outside. Tokyo-3 was still quiet, this early. A brisk autumn breeze was in the air: a bit chilly, perhaps, but I didn't mind, even only in my t-shirt and shorts.

I took a sip; the hot liquid was still scalding. I started blowing on the surface, casually tossing the tea bag into a wastebasket. Shinji had been incredulous the first time he heard I drank tea in bags, not leaves. And not just any tea, but Earl Grey. This had been in first or second grade, I think.

"We live in Japan," he had said, quite appalled at my irreverence for Japanese tea leaves.

I didn't care – chalk it up to my American and European heritage, I suppose. My dad always made sure he brought me packages of tea when he came back from Germany and New York. Japanese stores had outrageous prices for foreign-made stuff.

Shinji had stopped heckling me about it eventually, but he had always remembered. My next birthday, he gave me the red mug I used now, and a package of Earl Grey tea. It was pretty touching and thoughtful, especially considering how young we were. It was the first time I hugged him too, but only briefly: boys were still icky.

I smiled absentmindedly at the memory. My thumb traced over a crack on the cup handle (my mom had glued it back together, after I accidentally dropped it and refused to get a new mug).

I was thinking about Shinji again. It's surprising how many aspects of my life he had touched, and vice versa. I signed to no one in particular – it was so easy to reminisce, but I had to figure out what to do with Shinji now. The tea was now cool enough that I could now take bigger swallows. Looking back into the kitchen, the clock now read 6:42. I didn't want to walk with him today. At least, I didn't think I did. This annoyed me, all the indecisiveness.

Maybe I could at least make a decision on breakfast. I didn't even feel remotely hungry, but I knew I should probably eat something.

But first, a shower. As I relished the feeling of the water running over me, I remembered something else - the math homework due today. After the arcade, I had just crashed on the couch and watched TV.

"How convenient," I mused.

I could go work on the stupid math problems at the library. I wouldn't have to see him until class.

We didn't always walk to school together; it was just a morning routine, back towards the end of elementary school, when we were both old enough to walk to school ourselves. Hopefully, he wouldn't read too much into me going to school early. After all, Shinji was still a boy, and boys were stupid at that stuff, right? This occupied my mind as I slipped on my red hair clips, another gift from Shinji.

I finished getting ready, grabbed my bag and left the apartment – food could wait.

` My phone read 7:06 as I rang the doorbell for Shinji's apartment. Mrs. Ikari answered the door, wearing her usual morning apron.

"Hi dear, you're a bit early today, aren't you?"

I liked Shinji's mom. She usually gave me a smile in the mornings, and took my side when Shinji got too unruly.

"Hi Mrs. Ikari, I'm sorry for bothering you, but I have to go to school early today," I explained. "Could you let Shinji know that I'm not going to be walking with him today?"

"Oh, okay," she replied. "By the way, when are your parents coming back from Germany?"

"They said they might be back next week, but it really depends on when they're going to be done that project they keep talking about," I answered.

"Well, if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask," she offered. "I think I'll send Shinji over with some things for you later."

"It's alright," I sheepishly said. "You don't have to."

"Don't worry, dear, it's our pleasure."

"Anyway, I have to get going, thank you!"

She waved to me as I bowed and left.

After a quick stop at a 7-eleven for some breakfast snack bread and a sushi bento for lunch, I went down the familiar road to school.

No annoying blue-haired girls today. No Shinji Ikari to piss me off. They'd probably see each other again today (if Shinji actually woke up on time without me), this time without me to interrupt their little chat. That thought was enough to keep me in a sour mood all the way to school.

The library was actually somewhat full when I came in – most of the tables had at least one or two people. Hikari was, predictably, taking notes at one of the side tables, a stack of books in front of her.

"You're already starting to write that essay?" I announced my presence, eyeing the books she had taken out.

"Well, yeah," Hikari replied, as if it was perfectly normal. "It's due next month! Not all of us leave our assignments till the last day, you know."

Her point was underscored by the fact that I took out my math textbook to work on homework due in a few hours.

"Not all of us are perfect like you," I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of imperfections, how was the jock? When we left, it looked like he was about to jump off the roof to escape."

Hikari blushed a bit, and stopped writing.

"We just talked and ate lunch," she answered. "And then I helped him with the chores, and he walked me home."

"Did you guys kiss?" I asked, my curiosity overcoming my gag reflex at the idea of anyone kissing that moron.

"Shh!" A junior at the next table shushed us, before turning back to her work.

I stuck my tongue out at her in defiance and looked at Hikari.

"Well?"

"No!" She emphatically denied. "We just held hands… I think we were both just trying not to say anything stupid, or to find something to talk about. It was a bit awkward, to be honest."

"Well, I guess him being nervous means he likes you, at least."

"I don't know," she frowned. "The whole time I got the feeling he was uncomfortable with me."

"SHH!" The annoying girl struck again.

"Oh shush yourself," I snapped. "No one cares."

She made a rude gesture with her hand and packed up to sit at another table.

"I'm not sure if I should've given him that note," Hikari told me as I threw an eraser at the junior's retreating back.

""Did you guys talk about it, at least?" I asked, now thoroughly satisfied.

"No, but I'm going to meet him for lunch again today," she answered.

"Well, you should probably ask him then," I advised. "At least you'll get an answer."

"Yeah, I guess," Hikari looked a bit crestfallen as she resumed taking notes.

"It's better you gave him that note and got the whole thing over with than never knowing," I tried to assuage her mounting fears.

"Maybe…" Hikari answered, without looking up from the paper.

I took this as a sign that she wasn't particularly interested in continuing the conversation, took out my breakfast, and started on math.

It wasn't a particularly challenging set of problems, just busy work. The first few questions were easy – these were just review questions to make sure we had the necessary skills to do math this year.

4. Shinji and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game.

I shook my head. It was a stupid coincidence. Besides, Shinji hated the Baystars. His favourite team was the Giants. Heck, he didn't even like baseball that much. I read on.

4. Shinji and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game. They spent ¥2000 on a day pass for unlimited travel on the railway. At the stadium, they spent ¥7000 on a pair of tickets. At the game, Shinji's girlfriend, Asuka, also bought a plate of French fries for-

What? Either I was seeing things, or Misato was screwing with my head, especially after the argument in class. I read the last line again.

At the game, Shinji's girlfriend, Asuka, also bought a plate of French fries for ¥750.

Damn it.

"Hikari, did you do question 4 on the math sheet?"

She looked up at me again.

"You're not having trouble with it already, are you? They're just start-of-year review questions."

"Did you notice anything weird about the wording?" I shot her a quizzical look.

"No, is everything alright?" Hikari was as confused as me now.

I looked at the paper again.

4. Ryohei and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game. They spent ¥2000 on a day pass for unlimited travel on the railway. At the stadium, they spent ¥7000 on a pair of tickets. At the game, Ryohei's girlfriend, Reina, also bought a plate of French fries for ¥750. Ryohei also bought a jersey and an autographed baseball at the game. The jersey cost twice as much as the ball. If Ryohei's budget was ¥20000, and he had ¥1250 yen left at the end of the day, how much were the jersey and the ball?

"Asuka?" Hikari asked, as I read and re-read the question again.

"Yeah, never mind…"

Hikari just shrugged and went back to her work, and left me to my own problems, both math and otherwise.

I was so unnerved that when Hikari left for homeroom, I purposely stayed behind so I wouldn't have time to talk to Shinji before class. I ducked into the familiar room just before bell rang, making it to my desk just as Hikari did her whole "rise, bow, sit down" routine.

Shinji tried to get my attention, but I did my best not to look at him. I didn't turn on my laptop, either, so he couldn't message me. Misato was talking to the class about an egg dropping assignment we were to do. My mind drifted in and out of listening.

"… your grades will be determined by how much you can slow your egg down as it falls. I'll be measuring the seconds to impact…"

Instead, I looked over to Wondergirl, who was staring at Shinji, not that he noticed. She saw me looking at her though, and quickly tried to hide the fact she was interested in my best friend.

"You know what?" Shinji had said. "I'll even prove it to you. The next time I really like a girl, I'll ask her out."

What if it became the other way around: what if the girl asked him out? Shinji said she was cute. What if he said yes? What if. What if. What if I just found out the answer?

When Misato let us out for lunch, I went over to Rei immediately. I saw Shinji try to approach me in the corner of my eye, then stop as he realized I was talking to Rei, of all people.

"Want to have lunch?" I asked brusquely.

Rei nodded, and grabbed her bag. I walked with her outside, making sure not to look at Shinji. My heart sank a bit as I saw the perturbed look on his face.

We sat under the tree in the schoolyard. I took out my pre-packaged lunch, while Rei brought out a small vegetarian platter.

"You don't eat meat?" I asked, mildly surprised.

"Well, I'm only vegetarian sometimes. I'll eat chicken and fish occasionally, but for the most part, no, I don't eat meat," she admitted.

"I see," I said, putting a piece of eel into my mouth.

"I'm surprised you asked if I wanted to have lunch." Rei bit on a carrot.

"Well, Hikari's having lunch with one of the idiot trio, and we needed to talk." I said between chews.

She tilted her head at me a bit, silently asking the obvious question.

"I never answered your question yesterday," I explained. "About Shinji, I mean."

I did a quick scan of the grounds. Hikari and Toji were on the roof, and Shinji and Kensuke were over by the fence above the pool, probably ogling the freshmen as they had PE.

"I figured it might have something to do with that," Rei sighed. "Ever since I transferred in, that's all that I've been asked about."

I picked up another piece of sushi with my chopsticks. We both chewed silently.

"Before I answer your question, I have to ask you one first," I went on. "Are you interested in him? You said you thought he was cute."

"I don't really know the guy," she replied. "It'd probably be fun if we went out, but it's not like I'm in love with him or anything."

"I mean, we just met," Rei summarized.

I nodded. A basketball rolled towards us. I grabbed it and threw it back to the court.

"You asked me what me and Shinji are," I started, choosing my words carefully. "It's… complicated. We've been best friends since forever, and there might be something there but…"

I paused again, trying to compose a better explanation.

"Everyone's always expected us to get together. I guess maybe I did too. None of the other girls ever went after him, because of that. I had all the time in the world to think about things. And then you transferred, and-"

"And you were scared that I was going to steal him away." Rei finished my sentence.

"Not steal," I corrected. "But I did get scared."

I didn't know why I felt the need to say this in front of probably my biggest rival for Shinji.

"I just don't want to screw our friendship up, but I don't want to lose him either. So that's my answer." I finished.

We ate in silence as my entire speech sank in. I started watching the basketball game, not because I was interested, but because it was something to occupy my attention. We sat there until it was almost time to go back inside.

"One week," Rei said.

"Pardon me?" I wasn't aware if I had missed something before that.

"I'll give you one week to figure it out, and then you can explain it to me. I wasn't planning on going out with him that soon anyway," Rei elaborated.

It wasn't quite the answer I was hoping for, but it was more than fair. Not many girls would've stepped aside for another girl, even just for seven days.

"Thank you," I softly acknowledged.

An agreement reached, we packed up and went inside for the start of afternoon classes.

The rest of our classmates filed in groups of two or three; Shinji, Toji, and Kensuke came in together. Oddly enough, they were silent, instead of chattering about the latest anime or something. They each took a look at me, almost at the same time, and quickly sat down.

Subtle.

Hikari was the last to come in – she had been crying, I could tell. If you weren't looking for it, you wouldn't have noticed it, but her eyes were a little puffy, and just a little red. She bolted for her chair, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

I glared at Toji, who fidgeted a little in his seat.

"Alright class, time for math!"

Math wasn't what I was concerned about right now. Hikari was.

It was no use trying to message her on the computers: Hikari, the perfect student, never used her laptop for anything but taking notes. Instead, I always had to wait for her to look my way to communicate in class.

Are you okay? I mouthed, when she finally turned her head towards me.

Later. She mouthed back, before looking ahead to the front of the class.

For once, I cursed not sitting with Hikari – as class rep, she had to sit at the front, and I hated sitting at the front. Teachers only saw the troublemakers at the front. Besides, Shinji and I usually sat together.

It was obvious that Hikari was crying because of something his idiotic friend had done, though. Hikari confirmed it after school, when she started crying immediately as we went into the Girls' washroom. It wasn't full-blown sobbing, but tears were flowing down her cheeks.

"Before I had a chance to say anything, he told me that he had to tell me something: he said that he only liked me as a friend," Hikari sniffed, wiping her face with a wad of toilet paper. It was a good thing she didn't wear make-up, or her mascara would've been ruined.

"That jerk doesn't deserve you," I scowled.

"No, he was really nice about it." Hikari took a shaky breath and continued. "He said that we've known each other too long, and that he didn't have those types of feelings for me. Then he apologized again, and we hugged. He said he really hoped we could still be friends."

Hikari blew her nose on the wad and threw it out. I grabbed another handful of toilet paper and offered it to her.

"Well, he doesn't know what he's missing," I tried to console her. "Plenty of other guys out there would kill to go out with you." It was a cliché of a comfort line, but I didn't know what else to say. Toji wouldn't have been my choice for a boyfriend, but he wasn't exactly the worst guy in the school. I was actually surprised that he was kind enough to let Hikari down that gently.

"I'll be alright," Hikari gave me a weak smile, taking the paper and dabbing at her eyes a bit. Her tears had mostly stopped.

"Do you regret it?" I asked.

"Right now I do," she shuddered after replying.

"But it's like you said. At least this way I get my question answered." Hikari looked at herself in the mirror, straightening her hair a bit.

"Now, I can start to get over him."

I gave her a hug, and we started walking out to the schoolyard.

Shinji had already left with Kensuke and Rei. It was a Saturday afternoon, and most of the school had cleared out to get started on their weekend plans.

I walked Hikari to the gate. Toji had finished his class duty, and was waiting for us at the gate.

"Hi Hikari," he greeted my friend, ignoring me completely. "Can I walk you home?

I gave Hikari one of my "are you sure about this" looks, and she nodded. I grabbed Toji and pulled him aside, as Hikari watched.

"Look, idiot," I hissed, "let's get one thing clear. You already hurt her once today. I don't want to hear about you doing something else stupid, or you'll be answering to me, got it?"

I raised a fist to make my point. Either he was scared, or embarrassed about what had happened, because he nodded, without even trying to argue with me.

"I wasn't planning to, Red Devil," he countered, with no bite behind the usual nickname. "And while we're talking about not hurting friends, you need to talk to Shinji."

"I know," I conceded. "You fix things with her, and I'll fix things with Shinji. Deal?"

"Deal."

Our conversation over, we walked back to Hikari. I hugged her, made her promise to call me on the weekend if she needed, gave her another hug, and then we each went our separate ways.

I looked back at them as they walked down the street, the two figures looking away from each other, not with any malice or like a fighting couple, but more like two people who didn't have anything to say to each other. They took turns looking at each other with the other's head turned, and rounded the corner.

The sun was already setting by the time I got back to the apartment. I had just put my schoolbag down when the doorbell rang.

Shinji was at the door, with two bags of what appeared to be food. It was the first time all day we had talked to each other, much less given each other direct eye contact. He was a little hesitant when I opened the door, worried that I was about to snap.

"Hi," he said, fairly subdued. "My mom sent me with this stuff for you – I'm not entirely sure what it was."

He looked like he was giving me a bomb about to go off, preparing to run away from the ensuing explosion.

"Well, I'll just leave you alone now," he turned to leave.

"Wait, Shinji," I reached out to grab his shoulder and pull him back.

"Asuka-"

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. "I've just been in a bad mood today, and I sort of took it out on you."

He looked relieved, certain now that he didn't do anything to deserve my wrath.

"Asuka, it's alright, really," he replied.

"No, it isn't," I said. "I'll make it up to you right now - want to stay for dinner? I can't possibly eat all of this by myself."

"Sure," he replied. smiling.

He went into the living room to call his mom to let her know he'd be eating here, as I took the food into the kitchen. Shinji's mom had packed a bunch of rice balls (my favourite, she knew), and some sliced meat and vegetables, and that was only one bag.

I put some water to boil for tea (Japanese tea leaves this time), and took the food out of the packages. Shinji came into the kitchen.

"Need any help?"

"Sure, you can start setting the table," I ordered.

He opened the dishwasher and started grabbing dishes and chopsticks.

In retrospect, I knew exactly what I was doing, and what might happen, from the moment I invited him inside. No matter how scared I was, my curiosity wouldn't be denied. I was going to find out exactly what he felt for me tonight, and what I felt for him – that was the plan, at the very least.

Almost reflexively, I came up behind him as he set the plate onto the table, and leaned over dangerously close, resting my chin on his shoulder as my arms slid around his chest. I could feel him stiffen up a bit, as he realized what I started to do.

My body was pretty stiff too, I realized, as my brain started to exhibit rational thought again. I was quivering a bit – if I was actually going to do this, it had to be quick, before my nerves got the better of me. His head tilted around to meet mine, and I started to close the small gap separating our mouths, inch by agonizing inch.

Not nearly quick enough, because I stopped ever-so-close. Just quick enough, as he surprised me by leaning in the last little bit to press his lips to mine.

It wasn't a deep kiss, not at first – almost like one of those friendly pecks, as we both weren't sure how far to take this. Then we started getting into it, after the initial shock of "this is happening" wore off. At some point, I felt his arms pull me in tighter.

That's when I reacted.

"I think you should go," I said, pulling back. His expression was curiously blank – a bit shocked at how fast things just moved?

I just couldn't go through with it, Shinji, I wanted to say. I don't want us to turn out like Hikari and Toji, tension between us whenever we're together, too scared to talk to each other because we screwed up as more than friends. And I can't be around you without wanting you to hold me again like that and kiss me again.

"Okay." A trace of disappointment, now. Or was that just me hoping for one? My mind ran through the words I wanted to say.

I'm sorry, Shinji. I can't risk this. Not right now. Not when I can barely figure out which possibility I want for us. And not when I'm unsure why I'm doing this. Not yet.

I couldn't speak, or bring myself to look at him as he left.

The door closed softly.

Author's Notes:

I'm settling into a sort of monthly rhythm for writing, in case anyone's actually wondering how often I update, that's a heads-up. Part of being a writer, at least I find, is that you tend to get a bunch of ideas for stories that you can't help but start and try to develop. And then before you know it, you have a bunch of things in various stages of completion, before you realize some of them just don't work, and will never see the light of day (or in this case, the light of the internet).

It's like fiction-ADD. That said, I don't plan to leave anything unfinished (yes, I intend on returning to writing BtEO after this).

A few minor continuity notes here – I almost made the mistake of calling the school a high school (and mixed up the seniors, juniors, etc.) Looking back at the first chapter, I only mentioned that it was a high school in the author's notes (which was a mistake). In fact, Japanese high school goes from grades 10-12, so the Evangelion pilots are actually seniors at a middle school. Also, school in Japan runs five or six days a week, depending on the school. Oops.

Rice balls are called onigiri – they're fairly sizable, and widely available in Japan.

The Yokohama Baystars are a Japanese baseball team in Japan's Nippon Professional Baseball league – they play in the same prefecture as Hokone (where Tokyo-3 is supposed to be). The Yomiuri Giants are also a Japanese baseball team, sort of the New York Yankees of Japanese baseball. No Second Impact also means that Japanese baseball teams are pretty much the same in 2015.

Finally, Japan doesn't have Daylight Savings Time – hence, the sunset at 5ish.

Sorry if it wasn't clear in the first chapter, but I do intend to continue this; it's not just a one-shot. That would've been a pretty crappy ending to the first chapter on my part if I ended it on "Shinji and Asuka talk about Rei", no?

Instead, maybe I'll end the story on "Shinji and Asuka talk about getting together", or "Shinji and Rei get together", or maybe "Asuka and Rei get together…"

Asuka/Toji, anyone?

Then again, who says anyone has to get together?

(Jan 13 2010)