Spring Musical Awakening

Chapter 2

- - -

"Hey, Shar, what's up?"

"I just got back from our first read-through."

"Ooh, how'd it go? We had ours last night."

"The director is even more insane than I thought."

"How so? More masturbation?"

"No. He simply had us do a read-through…BACKWARDS!"

"Backwards?!"

"Yep. We started by reading the final line of 'Purple Summer' and then read back line by line till we reached Wendla's first 'Mama Who Bore Me'."

"Why?!"

"Because he's CRAZY?! I don't know! He said that Spring Awakening was all about how conformity with the establishment destroys individuals, so he wanted us to start, quote: 'breaking down the barriers of our own deep-seeded destruction by defying convention' and proceeding backwards instead of forwards."

"Okay, he does sound wacky. But what about the rest of the cast? Are the actors any good?"

"You mean 'is Moritz any good?' And no, he seems like a total asswipe! Completely stuck up. Just like his hair -- I think that's the only reason he got the part! I've never seen so much product in a guy's hair before -- ger-ross! And he's such a skeeze, he's gonna have to do some major acting if he's gonna generate ANY sympathy from the audience."

"Oh good."

"Good?! You think it's good that the person I'm going to be spending my next two months playing opposite is a disgusting jerk?!"

"No. I'm just relieved that you're not gonna be ragging on me because I don't measure up to YOUR Moritz."

"When have I EVER done something like that, Ryan?"

"Um…no comment? So what about the other actors?"

"Wendla's a whiny bitch -- I've worked with her before and she's tres annoying! Our Melchior's okay -- he was our Baker last year in Into the Woods. He's a good actor but a weak singer -- I'm kinda worried about him hitting all the notes in 'Left Behind'."

"We have the opposite problem. Justin -- OUR Melchior -- is a music major. GORGEOUS tenor -- both voice AND body -- but TERRIBLE actor. Couldn't act his way out of a paper bag."

"Gorgeous, huh? Then use his lack of talent to your advantage, Ry. Invite him for private rehearsals. Explain that Moritz & Melchior have a special connection and therefore you need to spend LOTS of time together to develop that kind of camaraderie. I mean, I'm assuming you're interested in him, right? That is…if he's gay."

"He's a tenor…of COURSE he's gay! And that's a brilliant idea, sis."

"I know!"

- - -

"So…how are things going with Justin?"

"They're not. He's straight."

"Straight?! I thought you said he was a tenor."

"Yeah, I was shocked, too."

"Oh PLEASE tell me you didn't embarrass yourself."

No, of course not, Shar! It's not like I jumped on him the moment we were alone or anything."

"Well, that's a relief. So how'd you find out?"

"Because he jumped on Wendla the moment THEY were alone."

"Lucky Wendla."

"Not really. It turns out SHE'S seeing Anna."

"You gotta love the theatre! Though I'm sorry you won't be seeing much of Justin."

"Oh, I'll still be seeing him. Straight or not, he still needs acting lessons."

"And you're SELFLESSLY going to help him."

"Why not? He's still gorgeous. But I've found out that Eric, our Hanschen, plays for my team."

"Baseball?"

"Very funny."

"Well, is Eric as gorgeous as Justin?"

"No, but he's pretty cute. AND he's interested in me, which makes ANY guy infinitely more attractive!"

"Good for you, Ry. Who needs e-harmony when you've got play practice?"

"So what about you? Any cute guys in your cast?"

"Aren't you being a bit greedy? I mean, you've got Justin for rehearsals and Eric for…."

"Not for ME, Shar. I meant for you. Anyone you're interested in?"

"Not really. Though OUR Hanschen's pretty cute, too."

"You should go for it, Shar. Wouldn't that be awesome if we both started dating a Hanschen?"

"Awesome? Really, Ry, I think you're taking this twin thing a bit too far."

"Fine, then be lonely and unhappy for the rest of your life, Shar -- see if I care."

"Thanks a lot!"

- - -

"So our director is making us do this brilliant exercise, Shar. You know how Ms. Darbus always made us write up a character background for our characters? Well, Richard is making us do it as well."

"But your characters are all adolescents -- how can you even HAVE a background? 'And when I was nine I skinned my knee.'"

"Exactly, Shar! So instead, he wants us to write up a character future."

"Future? That makes sense for Melchior and Ilse, but Moritz and Wendla don't even HAVE a future."

"THAT'S the brilliant part! He wants us to imagine that we didn't die! Isn't that fabulous?"

"It kinda misses the whole point of the play."

"No it doesn't, Shar. It's awesome!"

"If you say so, Ry….Are you pouting?"

"No."

"…Okay, Ryan….Your exercise sounds fabulous….I'd LOVE to hear your character future for Moritz, Ryan."

"You would?!"

"Well, that's obviously why you called, and you're just gonna pout until you get to tell me, so go ahead."

"Okay! So, my idea is that Melchior helped Moritz get the money to flee to America, so he booked passage on a ship and left. And of course he's poor, so he's down in steerage. And in the next cabin is a young girl named Gretel--"

"Gretel?!"

"Well, I was trying to come up with a German name. Anyway, Gretel is traveling with her parents, and they take Moritz under their wing, so he gets to spend all this time with Gretel as the two of them try to study their English together."

"Cute. But what about Moritz's issues with puberty? He flunked out because he was so overwhelmed with his wet dreams -- you can't tell me he's suddenly fine with everything."

"I'm getting to that! So since he's spending all this time with Gretel, he obviously starts having dreams about her, which at first he finds really upsetting. But one day while they're walking together, taking a break from studying, Gretel takes hold his hand, and Moritz thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest--"

"Or his hard-on is going to beat out of his pants."

"Shar! Anyway, yes, he's excited about holding her hand and is nervous and frightened about what might happen next. But that night he merely dreams of holding her hand, and he wakes up feeling more awake and alive than he's felt in a year."

"Aw! How sweet!"

"If you're going to mock me--"

"Sorry, sorry. Go on, Ryan. Let me guess -- he and Gretel get to America and live happily ever after?"

"No, they get separated at Ellis Island and he never sees Gretel again. But she's now cured him of his neuroses, so he's able to go on and live a long life."

"As what? A shoeshine boy in New York City? He's fifteen, speaks German, and has no skills other than controlling his hard-ons."

"He can speak English now, too -- weren't you paying attention?"

"That still doesn't solve his other problems."

"Well, now that he's able to get a full night's sleep without being tortured by the Angel, he's strong and able to get hired on a wagon train."

"A wagon train? In 1892? Did you SLEEP through history class?"

"Whatever. He gets out to the West somehow, by wagon train or whatever, and becomes a cowboy, riding the range, free from the confines of the adult world that enslaved him as an adolescent."

"And then one day his horse runs off a cliff and he dies. The end."

"Very funny, Shar."

"No, seriously -- I like it, Ry. I'm glad Moritz is allowed to live a long and happy life. And does he write Melchior and tell him that everything turned out for the best?"

"I didn't even think about that! That's a great idea, Shar."

"That's what I'm here for."

- - -

END OF CHAPTER 2