Flower Petals

Don't call me that.

He stares down and down and down, and ignores what's going on.

His brain is piecing itself back together, but he could care less, disjointed memories and thoughts running unbidden through his mind-- he looks so ugly.

But it's not him.

Don't call me that.

He's not breathing. He's not feeling. He's goddamned sleeping inside whatever the fuck it was-- and frankly, Kanda can't be bothered to stay angry at him.

He's so ugly, and he knows he's at fault for that.

Don't call me that.

Kanda doesn't move. He doesn't want to move. If he rises, he moves away. If he bends further, everyone else will know something's wrong.

Yuu.

Moyashi.

The idiots were so alike that Kanda sometimes had trouble differentiating the future and the past, becoming nostalgic and drowning in--

"E-Earl?!"

Moyashi.

Two voices vibrate in the back of his mind-- "The flower is just an illusion, Yuu" and he smirks inside, alone and bitterly-- I am an illusion.

Don't call me that.

They hadn't had last names back then, they were just "Alma" and "Yuu", and Kanda is not human, so he has no tears to shed.

His eyes are dark. He watches him sleeping underwater, eyes open but unseeing. He bears so many scars, the sight of which make Kanda feel empty.

Kanda has nothing to call his own. Not even his heart, slowly falling apart and resting inside a glass case, back in his room at the Headquarters.

Don't call me that.

Those men who spoke English had found it amusing that the "straight-haired" boy was "Yuu", of all things.

"You, Kanda," they called with derogatory smiles, having fun at his expense.

Don't call me that.

"Kanda"-- God's Field, God's freaking playing ground was inside his body, where humans pretending to be God played with what they shouldn't, thinking they had made a super-human.

He's just a monster.

A monster, non-human, exorcist, God's pure warrior.

One who will never die, for one has to be alive to experience death.

He is not. Not alive, not human, he cannot die, and he doesn't deserve--

Don't call me that.

Kanda opens his mouth just slightly, whispers an oath of feelings he doesn't have.

There is a reason why the body beneath him is called "Alma Karma".

The scientists had tired of adding the 'S'.

"Alma's Karma."

Don't call him that.

"Alma's Karma."

"My Beloved Karma," he says to himself.

Don't call me that.

But Yuu-chan--

Don't call me that.

"Kanda?! You could move?"

"Got a problem with that?" He says through the fabric in his mouth. He steals the doll's ribbon, tying his hair back, even if it is slightly girly.

Moyashi doesn't call me that.

And he never will, if I can help it.

And when they fall into Kanda's memory, his last conscious thought--

Moyashi and Yuu would get along very well, wouldn't they?

Don't call me Yuu. That's not my name.

My name...

My name?

It's kinda embarrassing... Er... I'm...

They call me Alma.

Karma: Part of religions; Belief of "What you give you receive", mostly applied to bad things; e.g.: 'You contract Karma when you kill someone else, and so will experience death at the hands of another as well, be it by the hands of the one you killed or not.'