Blue Memories

Disclaimer: The Mentalist show and characters are the property of Bruno Heller, Primrose Hill Productions, Warner Bros. Television and I'm sure others. I am not profiting from this story.

Spoilers: Leading up to and including Ep. 2.03 Red Badge

Summary: Lisbon is shot and Jane contemplates their relationship and her past. AUish in that the story is assumed to happen a year or two after Ep. 2.10 Throwing Fire, but does not necessarily have all the facts correct.

Author's Notes: My second Mentalist fanfic.

Special thanks to Yana aka Yaba who has graciously agreed to beta for me. Thank you!

I considered naming the story "Red Memories" to go with the red theme the show has in naming their episodes, but decided not to in case there is a future episode named that, in which case I would change the title of my story anyway.

This story mentions Minelli still working at the CBI, but he doesn't play a big role. He is in the story for lack of knowing who the new supervisor is since it has yet to be discussed. As soon as I know his replacement I may go back and change that, or you can accept it as part of the AUish-ness of this story.

Thank you and I hope you enjoy this story and as always reviews would be warmly welcomed.

***

Chapter 1

In their family, only her mother had called her "Teresa". To everyone else she had been either "Tessa" or "Tess". The nicknames were a result of her younger brother's inability to pronounce her name correctly from when he first started to speak, and it stuck. Two more younger brothers followed, each maintaining the tradition so that even her father more often than not called her "Tess", reserving her actual name for when she was in trouble.

Sadly, "Teresa" would be called in anger more often in what remained of her diminished childhood after the death of her mother.

Patrick Jane didn't know any of this. So when he sat by Teresa Lisbon's side in the ICU, one could occasionally hear the murmur of "Teresa" amid the hum and beeps from the machines surrounding them. Normally, only family of the patients was allowed into the ICU, and even then for a short period of time. He had convinced the nurses to let him see Lisbon with a flash of his wedding band, explaining he was her husband. He was able to charm them (a light hypnosis hadn't hurt) to allow him to stay as long as he wanted.

His expression was pensive, and not a little bit guilty, as the CBI consultant held the limp hand of an unconscious Teresa Lisbon. The white hospital sheets and her dark hair highlighted her pale face and dark circles under her eyes. She was intubated to assist her breathing, a bullet having broken her rib, which in turn pierced and collapsed her lung. The hissing of the ventilator was an ever present reminder of her present condition, though Jane was perversely thankful for the noise of the machines, as it kept the deathly silence at bay.

There was so much damage because of one bullet. One would think just being shot would be bad, but no. When the bullet slammed into her chest, not only did it cause the broken rib, which then pierced her lung, resulting in her need of a ventilator, but her fall caused even more damage. Lisbon had fallen backwards, her head making solid contact with first a table edge, then the hard floor. This ended in serious head trauma and (thankfully) minor neck injury.

She had been rushed in an ambulance to the hospital and whisked away into surgery, but that had been two days ago and she had not yet stirred from what appeared to be sleep. The doctor had told them she was in a coma, a result from the lack of air that was able to reach her brain. She had a serious head injury and only time would tell the extent of the damage. The doctor didn't want to give them any false hope, but said many coma patients usually came out of it within the first couple of weeks to a month. All that could be done now is to wait.

Jane continued to watch Lisbon's face for any changes, willing her to open her eyes as he held her hand in both of his, gently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumbs. He knew she wasn't one to accept much physical comfort, if she was awake she probably would have told him that she was fine, would tell him to go home, and perhaps try to put pressure on the nurses and doctors for an early release. He wished she would wake up and tell him to let go of her hand, if only to see her lightly freckled cheeks flush in some embarrassment and green eyes to dart away from his uncomfortably since in truth she would enjoy some of his comfort. But she'd rather die than admit that. Or shoot him. Whichever came first.

The slight smile that had lightened his face at the predicted outcome of his imagined scenario dropped at that final thought. Would she always keep everyone at an arm's length? At the office everyone on her team called each other by their surnames, her team, her rules. Even as he had called her Teresa in the privacy of the ICU, the little used name felt strange on his tongue as she was more often than not just "Lisbon". Even Cho, who has known Lisbon the longest, has never been in her apartment. Jane likely knew more about her than Cho, and what little he knew was part accidental and part observation, not much from her own mouth to him personally. They all knew she was fiercely private, another rule on her team to (try to) be professional, no dating between co-workers, using last names. The closest they got to "hanging out" was when they had closed case pizza and stake outs.

It was during the McTeer case that revealed a lot of information about her. If it hadn't been for Dr. Carmen, Jane would never have been able to set foot into Lisbon's apartment. Immediately he had cased her living area as he did the homes of all the people they visited during cases. He spotted the picture of three boys who appeared in their teens. He had deduced them to be her brothers based on the wavy, dark hair, lightly freckled skin, certainly a strong familial resemblance. At the very least they could be her nephews.

When she was under hypnosis, he confirmed that she did indeed dance to Spice Girls at times (and found the copy boy "hot", a fascinating and slightly disconcerting discovery for Jane). And later, during her act in front of the shrink, he learned more than she would have liked for him to know about her past under normal circumstances. But she trusted him.

Lisbon trusted Jane with the secret of her blackouts, trusted him to hypnotize her. That was a big step for her and he knew not to betray that trust he had teased her about previously, having her do a trust fall not too long before.

Though she didn't like crossing their professional and personal lives much (if at all), once you were on her team she felt responsible for you. She would fiercely protect anyone on her team, as fiercely as a mother bear would her cubs. Even as she'd tell him how she already regretted sticking her neck out for him and his indiscretions.

And of course it all boiled down to her control issues. From the separation of their personal and professional lives to Lisbon not letting Jane drive (because he drove too fast she'd remind him). If she had it her way the consultant wouldn't have any fun, obviously he was ignoring that much of his unorthodox way of working more than bent the rules that she lived by as an officer of the law. And all the paper work that is accrued waiting on her desk by the end of almost every case they worked on. Okay, so maybe he could try listening to her once in a while if only to save her time on filling out papers regarding his behavior during cases such as angering grieving families and handling evidence without permission. Well, he could listen to her if it didn't interfere with his hunches. Okay, maybe he could try not upsetting the people they interview… when it suited him. Well, fine. He was nice to Lisbon. That had to count for something. The pony he snuck into her office (with Cho's help) for her birthday made her smile in a way he had barely ever seen before on her face, if at all previously.

The blond consultant leaned his upper body onto the hospital bed, settling his curly head beside Lisbon's on the starched bed sheets, still gazing at her face, willing her to awaken as he drifted off to sleep.