T'was The Night

Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the' E
Not a creature was stirring, not even Stephanie.
The belts were all hung in lockers with care,
In hopes when they woke, they still would be there. (damn Cryme Tyme)

The Superstars were nestled all snug in their beds (kind of)
While visions of title runs danced in their heads.
And Linda in her 'kerchief, and Vince in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such clatter,
Vince sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like Bourne,
Threw open the shutters and the sash was torn.

The moon on the Puppies—(I mean breast) of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When what to his failing eyes should appear,
But a miniature Swoggle, and DX in their gear.

With a little masked luchador, so lively and quick,
And that cocky grease-ball blond, Nick (I MEAN DOLPH, DON'T BREAK KAYFABE DUMBASS!)
More rapid than the fall of ECW his cursers they came,
And he shouted, and hollered, and damned them by name!

"Now Swagger! Now, Jericho! Now, Cena and Ted!
On, Hunter! On, Cody! On, Miz and on…the guy with the balding head! (Shawn…WE WILL NOT SPEAK OF THIS!)
Get off of my roof, quit breakin' down walls!
Now dash away! Fk, off! Now dash away all!"

As Burchill before the wild Hurricane gets his ass kicked to hell,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the...mount, lol.
So up to the house-top Vince's curses they flew,
As the guys laughed down below, and that Nick kid too. (DOLPH! STAY IN CHARACTER!)

And then, in a twinkling, Vince heard on his roof
The dancing and stomping of each damned goof.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney that Nick kid came with a bound. (DOL—oh forget it.)

He was dressed in hot pants, barely covered his ass ho--
Then down came Cena, followed by Show.
A bundle of Jericho he had on his back,
And they looked like two homos—a stack!

Vince's eyes-how they crinkled with a rage so insane!
His cheeks were like…cheeks…his nose like a…candy cane?
His spiteful writhing mouth was drawn up like bad stitches,
And that vein in his forehead—oh how it twitches!

The stump of Dolphs thumb—(LOOK I GOT IT!) he held tight in his teeth,
And the blood it encircled his lips like a wreath.
Dolphs face was a mask of horrendous pain-oh!
And he shook as Vince laughed, like quivering jell-o!

Then there was Jericho, that lump, so full of himself,
And Vince lunged for him, and beat him with an elf (Vince always keeps spare elfs… who may or may not be illegitimate children)
A wink of his eye and he twisted off Show's head,
As the others came down the chimney, they were filled with dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled his hands with their blood, he always was a jerk.
And last his fingers curled 'round Hunters nose,
And giving a nod, he tore it off, then posed!

He sprang back to his bed, to his wife gave a kissle,
And away his cares flew like the down of a thistle.
Then she heard him exclaim, as he lay on her Puppies…(I mean, breast)
"Merry Christmas to all, now I can get some fkn rest!"

:) Rofl.