Back Home to Mama
(to the melody of I Got Shoes)

Text: George Baker, Ben Garth and James I. Kinchloe

I got cards – you got cards!
Peter Newkirk's got cards!
When the war is o'er he's gonna take all his cards
And going right back home to his Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he's gonna play with Mama – Mama
He's gonna go back home
He's gonna play back home
He's gonna cheat back home
He's gonna laugh back home with his Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he's cheated on his Mama!

I got Strudel – you got Strudel!
Sergeant Schultz has got Strudel!
When the war is o'er he's going home to his wife
He's gonna teach her how to make Strudel – Strudel – Strudel
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, that his wife cannot make Strudel – Strudel
He's gonna go back home
He's gonna show back home
How it is done back home
And then he'll eat a home full of Strudel – Strudel
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, when he's eaten all the Strudel!

I got a bomb – you got a bomb!
Andrew Carter's got a bomb!
When the war is o'er he's gonna set off his bomb
It's gonna fly him right home to Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he flew right home to Mama – Mama
He's gonna fly back home
He's gonna land back home
He's gonna talk back home
And he'll blow up the home of his Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he blew up his own Mama!

He's got guilt – he's got guilt!
Major Hochstetter's got guilt!
When the war is o'er and he'll be rotting in jail
He'll wish he'd stayed back home with his Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
He should have stayed back home with Mama – Mama
He's gonna yell in jail
He's gonna rage in jail
He's gonna rot in jail
But they won't let him go home to Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
If only he'd stayed home with Mama!

I got food – you got food!
Chef LeBeau has got food!
When the war is o'er he's gonna cook all his food
And take it right back home to his Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he's gonna feed his Mama – Mama
He's gonna cook back home
He's gonna bake back home
He's gonna taste back home
He's gonna eat back home with his Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, how he overfed his Mama!

He'll be stunned – he'll be stunned!
Colonel Klink will be stunned!
When the war is over and he'll come underground
He'll want to go straight home to his Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, when he's run straight home to Mama – Mama
He's gonna run back home
He's gonna whine back home
He's gonna cry back home
He's gonna stay at home with his Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, when he's crying home with Mama!

I got a plan – you got a plan!
Colonel Hogan's got a plan!
When the war is o'er he's gonna ditch all his plans
But he will not go home to his Mama – Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
How can he not go home to Mama!? Mama!?
He's gonna go back home
And find a girl back home
That he will give a home
And then he'll make her into a Mama – Mama
Everybody talks about it
Yeah, when the Colonel'll be a...

Dada!