Abby was happily tapping away at her computer when someone crept up behind her and kissed her neck. She shrieked and whirled about on the spot and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw who it was.

"TONY! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No," he murmured, looking like a little boy in being chastised by his mother. She tutted and turned back to the computer. Tony stepped up behind her again and kissed her neck, before sucking on it lightly.

"Tony!" Abby cried, "What are you doing?! Anyone could walk in!"

"Can't help myself," he muttered, kissing his way up her neck to her jaw, turning her slightly in his arms, "Do you know what you do to me? Prancing up to the bull pen in these tiny skirts and tight shirts and long legs on show? And then practically draping yourself over my desk whilst you chat to the others?"

"I can feel what it does you," she said, a hint of pride in her voice.

"Exactly baby, so don't leave me like this."

She smirked, grabbed his hand and pulled him into her office. He pulled her back into his embrace immediately, seeking her lips with is own. She pulled back from him.

"You do realise Gibbs will kill you if he walks in?"

"It takes two to tango," he murmured as he marked her neck again.

"Well, normally, yes," she replied, struggling to keep her voice normal, "But all I have to do is smile and kiss his cheek and he'll forgive me. And he also kinda thinks of me as a daughter, which means he really will kill you."

"Worth it," Tony said, as he made his way back up to her lips, effectively silencing her with his tongue. Abby forgot how to think, hell, even her own name. She vaguely picked up on the fact that Tony had undone her shirt and removed it, and she returned the favour. She walked him backwards till his legs hit the chair next to the steel table and he collapsed onto it, bringing her with him. She clambered up his legs and straddled him, not breaking the kiss. She smirked when she felt him unclasp her bra with two fingers. Such talent.

Tony felt the smirk against his lips and pulled back to look at her. She looked utterly debauched. Her hair had been pulled out of it's pigtails by his impatient hands and was now mussed. Her lips were swollen, her lipstick smeared all over the place, no doubt similar to how he looked. All she wore was a black and pink tartan mini skirt and combat boots. Since when has she worn combat boots? Her neck was dotted with the pink, slowly darkening, marks he had made. She stuck her tongue out at him and he groaned before attacking her mouth again, threading his fingers through her silk dark locks. Her hands were currently trying to undo his jeans. He pulled back and looked at her.

"Why, Miss Sciuto, are you trying to get into my pants?"

"Yes," she replied, deadpan, before resuming her previous activities. He chuckled and kissed her again. She pulled back, trying to get a proper look at what she was doing.

"You know, if you didn't have such – a –flipping –big- hard –on, I might be able to actually undo –your –jeans," she muttered.

"I don't normally hear you complaining," he replied, a cocky tone to his voice. She finally managed to yank the zip down and Tony re-engaged her lips as she slipped her hand inside his pants.

"Commando, baby?" she asked, one eyebrow raised delicately. He shrugged and resumed kissing her. His hands came around to rest on her shoulders and then made their way down her back before sliding them down the back of her miniskirt. He sucked in his breath.

"Commando, baby?" he asked, shocked. She smirked and leant in to kiss him again.

"Yeah, she does that a lot," said a voice from the doorway. Abby practically threw herself from Tony's lap, grabbed her shirt from the floor and yanked it on before turning to face the newcomer.

McGee.

The probie was currently staring at Tony in shock and anger. The older man was sprawled in Abby's chair, shirtless, hair mussed, lips swollen and covered with Abby's lipstick, jeans unzipped, a very big and evident sign of arousal on display. Tony smirked and then zipped his pants shut, before standing and pulling his shirt back on.

"Timmy?" Abby asked tentatively.

Next thing she knew, McGee had practically pounced across the room and socked Tony one in the jaw. Unsuspecting, Tony fell to the ground. He got back up in time to meet McGee's second punch. Tony sent a much of his own to McGee's jaw, hearing a satisfying crunch.

"TONY!" Abby screamed.

Tony turned to look at her, and McGee took advantage of his distraction to put Tony in a headlock. Tony kicked and punched at every bit of McGee he could reach, but McGee held his head fast. The office door whooshed open and Gibbs and Ziva, who had just entered the lab when they heard Abby scream, came running in. Gibbs looked at Abby, hair a wild mess, lips swollen, lipstick all over her mouth, shirt buttons done up incorrectly, as if in a rush, and skirt wonky. She looked as if she'd been ravished. He glanced over at the fighting agents. McGee, who looked fairly normal, except for the angry red face, had Tony in a headlock. Tony, whose shirt was undone, hair mussed, lips swollen and covered in a very familiar red lipstick. It took Gibbs mere seconds to realise what had happened and he pulled McGee off Tony.

"Thanks, boss, I-"

Tony didn't get to finish his sentence, as Gibbs punched him, the first sailing into his nose, the second split his lip. Gibbs shoved Tony to the ground and looked at him menacingly, fist drawn back as if to punch him again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Abby screamed and sat up in bed, violently.

"Baby?" Tony muttered, incoherently beside her in bed.

She burst in to tears. Tony, now wide awake, sat up and drew her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head.

"What's wrong, baby?"

She choked on a sob and muttered something muffled in his chest.

"What?"

"She lifted her head, cheeks streaked with tears.

"Just a bête noir, Tee."

"What happened?"

"Uh, we were fooling around in my office, and McGee walked in. He went mental, he punched you twice, and then you punched him back, and I yelled at you to stop, and you looked at me, and he put you in a headlock and then you guys were really fighting and then Gibbs came in and dragged McGee off you, but then he started beating you up!" she cried, getting hysterical.

"Baby, that would never happen."

"Why?"

"For one, DiNozzo's don't get caught, two, do you really think I'd let McGee punch me? Or punch him back? I'd just block his attempts to hit me. And three, Gibbs would never beat me up. Sure, he might punch me once, but more likely smack me upside the head."

Abby nodded, and leant up to kiss him.

"It's not like you ever let us fool around in the office anyway," Tony muttered, disgruntled.

Abby just giggled.