Boredom

One Shot

(A/N Ever wonder what goes in Ichigo's soul when Hichigo and Zangetsu are left on their own? Well this is it. Just a small story just for laughs. Behold boredom in all of its glory.)

SOUNDS/sounds

Thoughts

Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap…

"Stop it, now."

Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap…

"I said stop it with the tapping."

Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap… Tap…

"JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!"

"But I'm bored! There's nothing to do, Zangetsu!" Hichigo moaned, picking his finger up off the glass he had been tapping on.

"Use your imagination," Zangetsu drawled.

"I've done that already. I always imagine the same damn thing every time. Beating the King and becoming… Well you get the point… Sigh… I'm so bored right now I could scream."

"Why not practice your evil grin? Maybe you'll beat Ichimaru's world record," Zangetsu said dully, resulting in getting a small chuck building chuck at his head.

"That's an insult, you asshole," Hichigo snapped, pointing at the man clad in black. "My smile is far more sinister than his any day!"

"Vindictive, much? Do me a favor and go some place else. You're bugging me," Zangetsu replied, turning his back the hollow.

"Fuck you!" Hichigo said, getting up and left.

"Bye," Zangetsu replied.

"Zaaaangeeeetsuuuu."

"…"

"Zaaaangeeeetsuuuu."

"…"

"Zangetsu! Zany-Zan Zan-Zangtsuuuu!! Zanzan! ZANGETSUUU!!"

"WHAT DAMN IT?!"

"I'M BORED!!"

"So what do you want me to do about it, pest!"

"Poker?"

"No."

"Strip Poker?"

"Hell no."

"Checkers?"

"Nooo."

"Uh, chess?"

"Nooo."

"I spy?"

"A crazed idiot."

"That's not very nice."

"You're not very nice."

"True. Oh, backgammon?"

"NO!"

"Simon says?"

"NO!"

"Rock paper scissors?"

"NO dammit!"

"Fine, Candy Land, then?"

"N…Are you actually serious?"

Hichigo held up the very colorful box with candy cane lettering.

"Haha! I beat your ass again, little Hollow!"

"Oh, boo, I hate this stupid game!" Hichigo whined, flicking his little blue character over. "Best 4 out of 7."

"4 out of 7? But I've beat you 23 times already. You can't even beat me in a little kid's game," Zangetsu said, picking up his little red character and put it back at start.

"I don't wanna play this anymore…" Hichigo pouted, crossing his arms.

"Bored already?"

"Duh."

"Okay, whatever," Zangetsu said, picking up the game to put it back in the box. Maybe now it will be quiet for a while.

"Let's do something else, Zangetsu."

"Do we really have to?"

"Yes!"

"You're going to drive me to drink."

"Ah-ha! That's it! Who can down the most shots wins."

"And just where are we going to get liquor from?"

"Ta-da," Hichigo held up a few bottles of whisky and two shot glasses. "I've been saving these!"

"WHAT?! Where did you get those?!"

"You haven't really explored this place have you? There are liquor stores and bars all over this place. It's a city, remember?"

"Well I guess that would explain Candy Land." Zangetsu drawled, grabbing a full shot glass from Hichigo. "Bottoms up, I guess."

"You—you give uuup hic yet, you d-damn sword!"

"N-no! I ain't giiiven hic up yet, you baaastard hollow!"

"Is it h-hot iin here or iiit just me? Hic!"

"It's j-just you! Hic Iii'm perfect—perfectly fine. But thaaat does explain why hic your d-down to your underwear."

"Y-you are too, duuummy! Did—didn't you fell a hic dr-draft ooor something, Zanzan?"

"Don't c-call meee hic Zanzan! Hit me a-again!" Zangetsu held out his shot glass. "Iii'll beat you hic y-yet!"

"Don't you c-count oon it! Hic Nowww hold your gl-glass still!"

"I-I am hoolding it still. You're th-the hic one who can—can't hold st-still. You're pouring it aaall over hic the pl-place."

"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!!"

The drunk duo slowly turned to see a very pissy looking orange haired shinigami. He had his arms crossed and his lips curled into a thin line as he glared at the two idiots sitting down in nothing but their undergarments drinking whisky. Where the fuck did they get that anyway, huh?

"Oh, h-hellooo, King," Hichigo said, waving at him and promptly fell over. "W-wanna hic drink too?"

"No, I don't! I'm in the middle of fight and I find both of you getting drunk!" Ichigo snapped at them. "Or rather already drunk!"

"We swear to drunk we're not God," they both said in unison.

"Really? Because you look drunk to me! I don't believe this!" Ichigo roared, stumping his foot down.

"H-hey, Ichigo, relax. Hic Every—everything juuuust fine," Zangetsu said, waving the boy off.

"No it's not!" Ichigo snapped at them. "You're both drunk and I'm in the middle of a major fight!"

"You h-have really preeeetty feet," Hichigo said stupidly, looking at Ichigo's feet from his position on the ground.

Hichigo quickly found said pretty feet planted in his face. Ichigo stormed off muttering curses under his breath. Zangetsu watched Ichigo stomp off as Hichigo twitched with a bloody nose and lip.

"S-so, Hichigo, hic wanna pl-lay strip pocker?"

"Iiit's poker!"

"P-poker?"

"We're iiin our hic underwear, st-stupid."

"M-makes the stakes hic higher. Winner taaakes all."

"Ain't thaaat tr-truth, Zanzan!"

"Quit—quit calling meee that!"

(A/N That's he end. I hope you like that. Do you think I should make a few more of these or not?)

Millie M. Banshee